You Might Be A Little Bit Blonde.....

Edited to add pictures for some interesting viewing.

And it's about that time and age again. Lots of bumps and bruises as they climb, walk, run and everything else that goes along with little people determined to keep up with big ones. This came about from climbing onto office chair and falling forward straight into desk. Initially, it looked as though stitches were needed, as he also sent his two front teeth through the inside of his lower mouth. It was unknown as to whether his teeth had actually gone all the way through to the outside....but once it was all cleaned up we realized it was 2 teeth on the inside and a straight gash from the desk on the outside. Thankfully...no stitches required!

This nice shiner would be a result of climbing folded dining room chairs like little ladders. Needless to say, both chair and baby went down.

More climbing.....and window views of life.

And as desperately in love as I am with absolutely amazing husband...there are real life issues that take place within the walls of our home. It is not all butterflies, rainbows, castles and fairy tales in our amazing life together. This would be the forever Grand Canyon difference that ever occurs between Mars and Venus...and that I'm sure will continue to occur through the ages as long as man and woman marry. Closet in our room is a perfect example of this phenomenon.

His......

......and her's.

2:25 am. I seem to have an infatuation with time right now.....especially middle of the night time since I tend to see those numbers regularly at this point. So, I'm here. And why is it that I am here??? Because it has been concluded that I either have a kidney stone or a cracked rib. Whichever one it is....it hurts just a little bit. And sleeping is not even an option at this point. To lay down is far more painful than the long quiet hours spent sitting up awake.

Since I have personal experience with kidney stones I am quite certain this is not one of them. Husband, on the other hand, seems to think it is and that is is merely presenting entirely differently due to late pregnancy. Of course, any woman whose bladder is now squished to the size of a pea is going to pee often. And the incapacitating pain....it's not exactly stone like. So, we researched cracked rib and I seem to fall more accurately into that category. How it would've happened???? Coughing due to the bronchitis and....wait for it.....by blowing my nose. Sexy, huh? Either way it goes....kidney stone or cracked rib....there's absolutely nothing anyone can do about it so there is not entirely a lot of reason to go to a dr. And so...I wait it out.....sleeplessly.


Given the fact that when I move at all.....inhale, exhale, sneeze, cough, bend over, stand up, or blow my nose it rivals being stabbed in the back with a knife around some rib buried deeply within....there is some incapacitating pain involved. And lying down at all is pretty much out of the question. Sitting's not much better but it definitely beats trying to lay in any position. I was a little horrified to read that if indeed this is a cracked rib there is no 3-5 days of healing. Nope. Every resource we searched and person we asked gave it a healing time of 3-5 months. MONTHS. Soooo....if that's what this is I have to push a baby out like this??? Needless to say.....still searching for answers that give a little more hope to the gestating soul. But in the meantime...I have some really great, quiet, long hours of needless fb'ing, countless hours of blogging, catching up on emails and pm's, and window shopping the web. Cause sitting here just wishing I was asleep does nothing but make me irritated....as husband sleeps peacefully by my side. He wakes concerned about every hour or so, I assure him all is as well as it can get, and he dozes for another hour until we repeat the scenario all over again.


And this whole little inconvenience greatly affects picking up babies, bathing babies, picking anything up off the floor....and well....mainly just breathing in general. So, I have some hurdles to overcome as we try to get past this point. Little bit frustrating, to say the least.....and a whole lot painful. At least labor goes away and you get a baby out of the deal. This, seemingly, does not go away and so far there's just not much to show for it....other than some heroic efforts to be brave. Anyway....enough griping. Blogging definitely beats dozing in pain only to then fully wake and be completely incapable of even changing positions. And Tylenol on its own does not even begin to phase this so I finally did the forbidden and resorted to Motrin in pregnancy. Paired together they seem to at least buy some daytime hours....though nothing seems to make the long dark hours tolerable....mainly cause it requires....laying down.


So....upward and onward.


You might be a little bit blonde....(edited to later add....that also includes being completely unable to accurately spell the word blonde. Yes...it does have an "e" on the end of it....contrary to the two days the title sat without one....and every other time I used the word within this post.)


...but I'm not. That's the really scary part of this whole little story I'm about to tell. I wasn't born blonde, nor have I ever been blonde...nor do I have any desire to ever be blonde. However, I am capable of doing disturbingly blonde things. I'm quite certain that none of the mentally deficit things I have ever done really top this little incident. I may be entirely capable of igniting a mini inferno within our home by throwing little cups of cold water on little cups of boiling wax, and I may have the ability of twirling huge quad cab trucks into icy ditches and getting them so stuck it takes a 15 passenger van to tow it out and I may forget a kid or two every now and then....but never have I resorted to such brainless actions such as this little recent scenario. And it's a little bit laughable now....kinda....not really. But it really wasn't laughable then....though ever patient, adoring husband did find it quite amusing....and even helped clean it all up....much to his credit and lack of tolerance for the nature of what it dealt with.


And to preface the mentally deficit state of mind I have frustratingly operated within over the last few weeks....I have now successfully brushed my teeth with eczema medicine, lost and found the Ergos, lost the camera, washed an entire load of clothes with no detergent, toasted toast for half an hour, burned rice....how does a person even burn rice????......and put cheese in the freezer. Though none of that quite measures up to this brainless act of disgustingness.


Getting accustomed to a tanked water heater again has been interesting. We now have to carefully plan when washing machine gets started and plan out which loads get done during the day vs those at night. Showers and baths are divided up into groupings of morning and night shifts. Dishwasher is only allowed to be started after nighttime bathing is completed. Sanitary towel loads are only permitted during late morning/early afternoon times, as are warm denim loads. Darks and lights are shorter loads and get washed on cold so can be done as long as water is not being used elsewhere. Dinner dishes are required to be done in cold water to allow hot for those bathing at night. And diapers??? Diapers are the very last thing of the day that I put in after the house has shut down. They too are a sanitary load....imagine that....so it allows water tank to refill a little and me to gather all of the day's diaper use. Problem is....I get in a bit of a hurry to end the day and stick them in before husband and I have showered. So, I am often asked by showering husband if I can go please stop the diaper load. And sometimes I get really efficient and put them in with detergent and just have them ready to start so once showers are completed all I have to do is push start to begin the load.


But on this particular night diapers had been stopped 3 times. Once for husband, once for later bedtime son, and then again for me. So by the end of my shower I had started and stopped them 3 times already. And once you start a load that many times it just kinda seems like a done deal in the brain.....they got started.


So next morning dawns and I awake early, as usual, to dry the load before babies began needing them. But, as usual, life happened, the house came to life, kids dug in frig for breakfast and the coffee pot turned attention away from task at hand. Eventually, with ever helpful babies at my side, I returned to washer to begin switching to dryer. Babies absolutely LOVE this task. They hear washer or dryer door and come running from all ends of the house to participate in this chore that happens to be just their perfect height.


So, the two of them reached and grabbed with me as we busied ourselves with switching them out and starting a new wash load. And I must say that after getting a sinus infection, bronchitis and it all turning into a not so innocent case of rabdo wen babies were 4 months old....I have yet to regain my sense of smell or taste. As in....I seriously haven't smelled or tasted anything in over a year....or right at a year. I've been told by ENT I need sinus surgery again but astronomical insurance prevented it and it's kind of a pain in the butt to be down for that long when this many little people are around right now. So...maybe someday....when we don't have 8 kids seven and under.


And...on a side note for all of those that are thoroughly convinced many pregnancies and living in a shoe have warped my health and are solely responsible for causing my "failing health and demise" I was told at the age of 22 when we had only 1 baby, that by the age of 26 my allergies were so severe and life threatening that I'd be spending 6 months of the year in a hospital on breathing treatments and steroids. So....no. My current "cracked rib" or kidney stones or whatever this is....and my 12 month long inability to smell or taste is not exactly the fault of the toll 11 children have taken on my body. I get tired of hearing that crap. So....there's a little side rant for those privileged readers that actually read random 3:30 am thought processes.


Anyway...inability to smell is not entirely bad.....though I do miss smelling pumpkin in the fall and tasting the pumpkin and the York peppermint coffee creamer. But....it could definitely be worse...so, it's all good. Pretty much.


Given the fact I cannot smell it limits the ability to detect anything....from smoke to wet dog to burned food to showered husband's enticing body wash and shaving cream.....to any forms of nastiness. So this particular morning I felt diapers and, being damp from washing and being spun dry with the force of a jet plane that vibrates the entire valley, babies and I dug in and switched. Dryer started for high on 80 minutes.....cause one of the elements is still out...I walked away. 80 minutes later Evye was told to retrieve diapers from dryer and keep laundry going. She opened dryer only to screech and say she was going to puke. Grayson came running only to be as dismayed as she was. Then the words...."there is poop all over the dryer!!!! And it wreaks!!! And it's all dried on there!!!"


It didn't even require me going to that end of the house to know what I had done. Lacking any enthusiasm whatsoever, I call to them to immediately wash babies' hands....as if 80 minutes and a million things touched later it would actually make a difference. I'm thinking at that point we would've had to powerwash the entire house with Lysol to disinfect all that they had Come into contact with. And given how much they had probably fed themselves in that amount of time it would've taken an entire bottle of Listerine per baby to even begin to kill what they had just ingested from their sewer hands.


So, husband takes a look and comes searching for me. I just ask rather blandly..."is it bad?" To which he replies with an affirmative nod of his head. And nothing in me could even begin to require kids to clean up the brainless mess I had just created 80 minutes previously. So I go to assess it all, grow a little frustrated with myself, gather needed items....which included a chisel and a hacksaw....and began a 2 hour dryer cleaning endeavor. And for the 1st time in my entire life I would've willingly chunked an appliance down a 2 story deck, guiltlessly bought another one on craigslist and never looked back. But given the unemployment status of my husband and the frugal nature that would never forgive self....I very silently cleaned and scrubbed and disinfected and Brillo padded the inner confines of our massive dryer. And at 8 months pregnant the hole of a dryer opening is not so entirely conducive to size of rounded body. And then we ran it a cycle to get the poop fumes out and dry the bleach used.


But even with those good measures....the next load smelled like....well....crap. Quite literally. Much akin to the smell of a dog taking a dump in our dryer.....or so I was told.


So when you wonder where I go and am absent for days on end on here....just know it's because I am unfreezing cheese blocks, bent over on hands and knees scrubbing crap out of appliances for 2 entire hours, putting out fires in the oven, rewashing loads of undetergented clothes, actually starting the load of diapers, looking for the camera, and attempting to brush my teeth with something that's actually toothpaste texture.


And in the meantime I'll be thinking of what other randomness I can write about tomorrow night seeing as how this looks like it will be a nightly date for awhile.