Triplets?????

Alright, I guess I can truly say I've about heard it all now. The stupidity of some people really astounds me on certain days. I now think we've about heard every combination in the book. I think the only thing still left is asking if they're all sextuplets! At the rate we're going people are so stupid that the next comment will probably be that they're septuplets and just rank unborn Gavin in there with them all.

But, yes, we did waste an embarrassing amount of gas and go back into town yet again today. I actually put an end to all of Evye's begging mid way through the day but then Brad called. He had OT at station 3 and was bored out of his mind. He complained of a headache and a severe case of pacing the floor. But coming from Central, a station that runs on average 1 call per hour with the average call lasting from response time to transport about an hour, to station 3 that never turns a wheel ever he was quite beside himself with boredom. They pretty much sit in a dark room and watch TV all day, sleeping intermittently. That gives me a migraine just thinking about it. So, he begged in a round about, puppy dog eyes way for us to bring him dinner. So, again I loaded up the entire crew and off we went to end his misery....or at least lessen it for a mere 1/2 hr of his long 24 hr shift.

So, we got that done and were off to Wal Mart to, of course, get Evye's hair cut. I sat and waited with the younger 3 while Grayson and Aubrey accompanied her in to watch the grand event. She was so confident that she was the star of the show that she couldn't imagine anyone not wanting to view her 30 minutes of glory and fame up in the salon chair. And then the comments started. And this is no joke!!!! But every person that walked by stopped to admire the boys in their strollers and praised my sainthood for raising TRIPLETS!!!!!!Ummmmm.........what????!!!!! OK.....so two are in a stroller together DRESSED ALIKE and one is in a single stroller in different clothing. And 2 are begging for gum in very clear words and greeting absolutely everyone that even turned their way and the other is in his stroller gagging on Teddy Grahams. So......wouldn't that kind of give some sort of indication as to a little bit of an age difference? And then Aubrey walked up and one family even went as far as to go on and on about the "triplet boys" and then seeing Aubrey completely were aghast. After ooohhhing and ahhing they freakin asked if she was the other triplet!!!! Ummm..........so, what exactly is the "other" triplet?????? Quads maybe??? I freakin don't have a clue. Out of all 104 onlookers that stopped to chat while we sat on the bench waiting for Evye to get done only 1 couple assumed Garrison and Grant were twins....the other 103 were of the triplet mindset (figurative numbers here, people). Grayson was quite taken back by it all and finally asked what in the world they were seeing and talking about. I kind of couldn't help but wonder the same.

So, after Evye emerged with her new look we took off for the needed items we forgot just yesterday. And then the fun, craziness and sheer amusement really kicked in. We began being stopped by almost everyone we passed and being asked how in the world I do it with twins and triplets and did I take fertility stuff and how many I'm pregnant with now. At one point I wasn't even sure if they were referring to Grayson and Evye, Evye and Aubrey or Garrison and Grant being the referred to twins. It was crazy. I finally got so tired of going through everybody's ages and talking to everybody that asked that I just started smiling and kept walking and let them come to whatever conclusion they came to about our little brood.

Oh, what would life be without all of the stupid people in it?..........Boring, completely and totally boring! Though I'd probably get my shopping done a whole lot quicker.

Aubrey's 1st Big Haircut

Well, they say that in every pregnancy you want to do something drastic and so far I suppose that's been proven somewhat true. In Evye's I got my hair cut off to my shoulders. It was ok but not the look for me, thus I'm back to long hair of my own. During somebody's (maybe Garrison's and Grant's???) I cut Evye's off. That was her one big birthday wish that year. So, with this pregnancy I'm a little obsessed with Aubrey's. Her personality just doesn't quite seem to fit the long haired, flowing, fairy princess look. And taking into account just exactly how very many times she's cut her own hair, 5 to be exact now, the layers in it are all different lengths and no matter just how many times it's "trimmed" it just stays stringy. If I leave it down with only 2 small ponytails and the remainder hanging down her back it's breathtaking....even for a 4 yr old. She has gorgeous hair. But, reality has hit and with summer here it's just too hot for that. It sticks to her neck, her face, her back and, most of all, somehow a portion of every meal is washed out of her hair at the end of each day.

(Aubrey being Aubrey) So, today despite Brad's opposition, I took them into town and just did a walk-in at the Wal Mart salon. These are the days I actually do love Wal Mart. No appointment, no schedule to meet. Just walk-in, plop her in the chair and for 8.95 she got her hair washed, cut and blow dried....which she thought was the best thing in the world. I think I knew how long her hair was but it didn't really sadden me until I saw the long tresses of golden red hair falling to the floor. But I have to say it was very much worth it in the end. She is soooooooo very proud of it and she acts like she is 2 yrs older than she was when first walking in to have it done. It definitely mentally gave her a much needed boost of maturity. Instead of being so sullen and skeptical looking of anyone that touched her she came out of her shell and talked and chatted with her designated hairdresser. They discussed the wild animals on the cape she wore, what all we saw at the zoo....including the long lasting mental impression of the "stinky" zebras, the round brush, the blow dryer and how great her hair was looking and how very short it was becoming. Despite the fact that Evye went in with a very sad heart since she was not getting her hair cut and ended up sobbing brokenheartedly by the time it was all finished, it was a fun experience for us all.......well, if you count Evye out. Evye has in her head for some reason that this has taken she and Aubrey's twinship away. Maybe it's due to all of the extra attention the boys get or maybe it's just due to wanting to be able to identify the sisterly bond that she and Aubrey have so she has deemed it "twins", or maybe it's just the fun they have when dressing the same.......but, whatever it is in her head, was somehow taken away from them today due to Aubrey's hair being cut. So, in the most practical way I could, without giving in to her outburst of melodrama but still wanting to meet the emotional need that was truly needing to be tended to, I consoled her on the way out and said that we could come back in for a girly day and have her hair cut too. Garrison, who was quite taken and amused by Evye's fit of sobbing, then said he wanted his hair cut too so he could be a twin.

So, I guess the moral we discovered in all of today's lessons is that in order to be a multiple you have to have your hair cut the same. Sooooooooooo................would that make the boys quadruplets?????

And Aubrey was so great about it. In an overly tender and sensitive little mothering mood she tended to Evye's every need. She comforted her all the way home, shared the front seat....which is unheard of for any of them!!!!.......while we waited on Mother, kept her arm around her and shepherded her everywhere once home and brought Evye every little item she could think of to make her feel better. It was so so sweet to watch them all pitch in to try and comfort the sad one. But, I suppose tomorrow I will have pics of Evye's new cut to post.

And then speaking of sibling kindness, today Garrison was upset so the nearest target he had was poor Garrett. Garrett has come to expect it from Grant, the rough bully-ish kid when he's mad, but not from Garrison. So, it hurt his little feelings immensely. He laid out on the floor and just had to cry it out. I wasn't at a point that I could get to him and I knew he wasn't hurt so I just let him cry since I couldn't get to either the offender or the offended. Evye, hearing Garrett's wails, came running from wherever she was outside and immediately picked him up and crooned to him, asking what happened. I said briefly that Garrison pushed so being the little mother she is she immediately made Garrison apologise to Garrett and then had him give Garrett a "sorry"kiss on his head. It was like watching a little tiny version of me in action....only with a little more mercy. Once she rectified the situation between the two and hugged on Garrett enough so that he felt justifiably comforted and became preoccupied with the newest foreign choking hazard on the floor she skipped back out to play and disappeared into the neverland from which she came. It was pretty comical to watch.........but also very much an awakener and comfort to me of what exactly we are accomplishing and seeing lived out in the lives of the children. "I have no greater joy than to know that my children walk in truth." I was up late one night......well, one of the many nights.....and I wrote down what all I wanted to see evident in the lives of the children. Some of the many things that made the top of the list are

- an insatiable desire to show the love and mercy of the Lord to other's...be it family, friends or strangers
- a tender heart
- a servant's heart
- a wise and discerning inner spirit
- a truthful heart
- a truly kind heart...and I mean "kind" as in the definition of the dictionary, like a compassion for other's that is so rare and hard to find in children now
- a sensitivity and love for the family they each have been blessed with

The list could obviously go on for days but these were some at the top. To see each of them come to that in their own ways and watching it be translated in each of their own different personalities is amazing to me. I guess it's just so amazing to me that they could turn out to be such entirely decent people with a true hunger and desire for God's word despite all of Brad's and my many flaws. I don't think I've ever been more painfully aware of my own flaws than I have become in parenting. But, on the other side of that, is that I have become so much more aware of my stronger points also.

One of them being organization! I'm so entirely proud and have to do some bragging about it. But I have devised a plan that I was entirely skeptical of to begin with but after a few weeks of it am beginning to become convinced that it is indeed working well. I came up with a chore chart and each one of them have schedules. This allowed me much needed time to work on getting the boys really going well in the toilet before Gavin arrives. They were very much ready but I was just too lazy to do it and really liked the convenience of not having to deal with it. But, it's becoming an expensive luxury with the very near and real reality of having 4 in diapers. So, due to the success of the plan, they are now very good at making it to the pot and so far have only had 1 accident each. I don't trust them enough just yet to venture out in public with them in underwear so we rely on pull-ups for outings, though it's just the real deal underwear at home.

Anyway, chasing bunnies here. So, I have organized it enough now so that Grayson is fully in charge of the kitchen after each meal. He unloads the dishwasher, rinses everything off and reloads it with the new ones and starts the dishwasher going again. He cleans the sink out and wipes down the cabinets. Evye cleans off the table, wipes it down and polishes it, wipes down the highchairs and disinfects them, and vacuums up the mess of each meal. Aubrey sets the table and helps clean it off and unload the dishwasher, so she kind of floats between the two and whoever needs her help the most...which she thrives on being needed so that was great for everyone. Garrison and Grant pick up toys while everybody else works on the bigger stuff. Grayson and Evye both fold each load as it comes out of the dryer and all 5 help put it all up. Garrison and Grant can put up their own stuff, Aubrey puts up her's and Evye's, Grayson puts up his and mine and Brad's and Evye puts up all towels and rags. Evye polishes furniture and vacuums the house while Grayson "Windex's" fingerprints off doors and windows once a day. And once awake in the mornings Evye makes up her bed and Brad's and mine and Grayson is responsible for his, the boys' and Aubrey's. It's amazing. Despite the amount of work it sounds like it works like a dream and their attitudes and willingness to help are making great strides everyday. Grayson can now do the laundry and has started to take over that end on his own without even being asked. And they have learned that when they work together well and quickly they have tons of time to play and know they won't be called in every 20 minutes for a chore needing to be done. If they go down their list and get it done then they know they are free for quite awhile. And the biggest joy for me is that the house is presentable now at all times for any surprise visitors that stop by......which there tend to be tons of around here.......and nothing's left piling up. And Grayson and Evye both have started to begin to take over feeding Garrett. Evye can put diapers on the boys for naptime and bedtime and she can completely dress them in the mornings. I usually do all of that but on mornings when time is of the essence and we are trying to get out the door it flows really well. It's pretty fun to watch too. Tonight at dinner the praise and comments from onlookers were unending. Nights like that are so entirely gratifying. But I know that the change I see in them is also apparent to others too.

I've come to the conclusion that watching your children grow up is kind of like a science experiment you didn't exactly think would work and then when it does it's absolutely amazing.

Well, ok maybe not exactly like that.....but it's definitely got some similarities to it.

Coming to terms with the west

Well, I purposed to be entirely diligent about this and I really do think incessantly of all of the things I want to write. It's kind of odd to me that I think in "journal" thoughts all day long. It's a bit weird to try to explain but in my mind my life is a book being written and continually unfolding its plot. I know, deep thoughts that don't make much sense.

But, as it has been a week or so, there is much to catch up on. First and foremost is having to come to a resolve and peace with life in the wild west. It does seem that every other entry in here has some sort of wild creature theme to it but it really is quite alarming to me at times. Today Grayson had his first real close encounter with a rattlesnake....and not a baby one. It seemed a bit ironic that the last thing I told he and Evye before heading out the door was to be smart, safe and wise about where they went. The whole "eyes wide open and ears listening carefully" talk. He and Evye were going to shoot guns so they both wore hiking boots and were told to stay in the short grass pasture. They'd been out for awhile when Grayson came screaming....and I mean screaming......in the house. I honestly thought he'd been stung by a wasp. The only thing he could gasp and cry was that it was a snake. I then, in a much calmer voice than I really felt, asked if it'd bitten him. At this point I had no clue what kind it was but I just needed to know if he'd been bitten. He said it didn't strike and no that he wasn't bitten but that he looked down about the time he was going to step on its head. He jumped over it and it went on the move. He ran in the opposite direction back to the house and the snake slithered under a target paper he had out in the grass. After recovering but still shaking from the whole ordeal he said that it only started rattling once he about stepped on it. He said it had about 4-6 rattles and he was able to identify the diamond patterns on it. I corralled everyone back inside and went to go investigate under the paper. By then it had gone into the old falling wooden shed next door or had sought cover under the thick brush. I could hear it rattling but never did catch sight of it. So, I called Brad and he called Chad, the next door pastor, and he and another fellow church going member.....yes, I know we should be one of them and had we been at church this encounter would never have occurred......and they came walking over. By this time I had Brad's shotgun out and Chad had his. Of course, the snake is long gone by now and it turned into a search with no great or tremendous outcome. So, it is left that we have a 3-4 ft rattler slithering around somewhere in the general vicinity. Oh.....and the really disturbing thing is that the snake was discovered laying in the dirt under the swings where the children frequent. After trying to regain his composure Grayson became obsessed with finding an accurate picture on the internet of what he had seen. His fear turned into some mild anger and feelings of injustice that the snake had not rattled until he was close enough to step on it. The part that scared him the most was that he about stepped on its head and that it wasn't a baby.



Amazingly, I was alarmed by it but not freaked out like what has happened in the past. Maybe because it is just part of the way of life here and I am having to learn that life here means living with the snakes. Maybe it's because I know the children have a deep respect and healthy fear of them now. Maybe it's because I now know after several run-ins with them that they are not out to chase you down and inject you with so much venom that you will surely die within only seconds. Maybe it's just because I am, heaven forbid, becoming desensitized to them.





And on a more disgusting reptilian note, shortly after the rattler encounter we were all outside visiting with Mother, Thomas and Granny when a fast slithering rat snake caught our attention. We all watched as it aggressively went and killed a gecko and ATE it! It was about the most disgusting thing ever. We watched as it ate the gecko whole! Grayson was so enthralled that he went and got the camera and taped it. Evye watched in horror as she repeated over and over, "Poor gecko....poor, poor gecko". It seemed to lighten up the little rattlesnake affair though.



So, on with more mundane life. I'm supposedly 34 wks pregnant now but my contractions are endless. I am quite sure this baby will not come any earlier than the 7th and that I will most likely go until about the 17th. But if I hadn't had 2 sonograms confirming baby's gestational age I would be highly likely to think I am only a week or 2 from having this baby. I look and feel more like 39 wks. Swelling has kicked in and the contractions are pretty hard and regular throughout the days. They have now gone from being just a nuisance to being uncomfortable and making me feel like not doing anything at all. I don't want to leave the house and I hate getting out. This is seriously the hottest I've been since being pregnant with Garrison and Grant. And the heartburn rivals anything I ever had with the 2 of them. I do know for certain there is just one baby in there so the overheating and heartburn thing are just due to being pregnant in general. Up until this point the pregnancy has been so easy and effortless that I had no room to complain at all. And, I'm not really one for complaining since it doesn't do anyone any good in the least.....but I will note that the whole heat and heartburn thing are not very fun. Suddenly I wouldn't mind at all having sweet Gavin here anytime. The 1/2 naked pic...if you can get past the bra.......was taken last wk at 33 wks. The newest pic, which is under that, is at 34 wks....not that you can really see any difference between the two at this point...except for the fact I'm clothed in the 2nd one.

Brad's a little tired of the whole nesting thing. Just for the sheer sake of our house I think I just need to stay 8 months pregnant at all times. Our house is quite spotless and organized. I love it. Mother and Granny brought the new white crib with them and Brad and I put it all together. After getting it up we opted not to sell the oak one so now both are sitting regally in the nursery. Garrett will continue to sleep in his and Baby Gavin will just join him in time. The nursery looks pretty great though. We still have to paint and get the border up but the 2 big canopied cribs look so incredible and so cozy.....despite the fact the canopies are just frames and the new crib has no mattress or bedding at this point. The only thing still left is just finding an old tall dresser that I can paint that has 4 or 5 drawers so that Gavin will have some drawers too. I'm getting excited and this is way more then we ever had done before Garrett's arrival.




And look who's in underwear these days......most of the time!!! Grant prefers the "bare naked booty" state at all times so there's no pics of him in cute little tiny underwear. At least Garrison has them on 50% of the time.













And how is it that when you're potty training a kid that you can have all hard floors and they seem to find the only fabricated place that you own and crap on it???!!!!!! So far the 2 times he hasn't managed to hit the pot he's crapped on the ONLY rug in the house and then IN the freakin CARSEAT that was temporarily out of the Suburban while Grayson detailed and cleaned the interior. Garrison came in and everyone spied his dirty butt about the same time and then the search was on to figure out just where exactly he had laid his golden egg. The playroom was the first place to be checked since he had been playing in there but poor Brad was the 1st to spy the infamous carseat. He was none too happy to say the least. He wanted to just chuck the whole thing but, being the frugal person that I am, knew it was completely washable. I don't know how in the world Brad can be in the line of work he's in and deal with some of the nastiest things in life he does and still be so entirely grossed out by his own kids' poop. But.....he is. It's so bad he'll put his SCBA mask on to change a freakin diaper. I told him I'd deal with it all but he insisted...... after I told him there was no way we were throwing the whole seat away. He washed it out with the water hose and after his part was done I threw it in the washer and all came out fine....no pun intended.



But that little episode also happened to take place during the great revolt of the appliances. So, Brad was in no mood to be reckoned with. I just stayed out of his way until it blew over. I did tell him at one point he desperately needed to go back on shift or get called in for OT. In some odd sense the whole ordeal was hysterically funny. But after having to spend 300.00 on having the computer chip in our oven replaced, since lightening struck it and powersurged its sensitive wiring, less than a week later our dryer just quit with no warning. I went without it for a few days. The wet towel load that the washer held was all laid out to dry all over the house since it's rainy season here and it never seems to quit so it couldn't very well go outside. Needless to say we had some pretty crispy towels for a few days. Finally with the utility overflowing with mounds of laundry we knew it had to be dealt with. It's only a week until we get our new massive washer and dryer and the house is switched over to gas but the wash can't wait a week around here....let alone 2! And, to put it mildly, there is no little convenient laundry mat to whisk them all away to. It's a minimum 30 mile drive if we wanted wash done. And with Mother needing our old washer and dryer we knew a dryer was a necessity. So, Brad and Grayson loaded up the old dryer and off we hauled it into San Angelo to trade it in for a refurbished dryer. Brad was already cranky at this point so we put a huge scratch in the door of the dryer trying to get it out of the house. I cringed but he said it didn't matter at that point. So, we made it there to this NASTY little house that smelled of rotting dog crap and way too many little gerbilish animals and birds. We went through their inventory of what the appliance man had fixed and available. The store/house was so nasty in fact that I made Grayson pee out in the field beside the house since I forbid him to use the bathroom within it. After consulting Mother on it since it was, afterall, going to be her dryer in only a week we decided on one that was only 6 months old....compared to our 7 yr one we were taking in. Brad and Grayson unloaded our dryer off the bed of his truck and they then loaded the "new" one on. The little lady that was the repair man's wife (this is the man that fixed our oven) could hardly speak a word of English.....she was Japanese.......but was captivated by all of the children. She only saw Grayson and Evye, as they were the only ones to get out while we dealt with it all, and asked if this was our 3rd baby. I smiled and said no, that it was our 7th. She repeated "#7???!!!!!" no less than 20 times and then went on and on about how incredible it is to meet a family with the same values she was raised with. She then wanted to see all of the others so we rolled down the windows for her to "view" them all and stood and talked forever with her while she went on and on about Garrett and how absolutely adorable he is and what a blessing they all are. So, as wonderful as it was, Brad was a little anxious at this point and just going through the motions out of sheer obligation and to be nice. I could tell by his short clipped answers and fake laugh that he was ready to get a move on it.




So, off we finally went to Wal Mart and then back home to then unload the "new" dryer. They hauled that in and Brad got it all situated and, alas, it did not work either. It felt a little like National Lampoon's Christmas vacation and the part of the unveiling of the lights when it comes time to plug them in......and miraculously nothing happened. By this time Brad is a little more than outraged and in no mood to even come close to. It became painfully evident that it was not a dryer issue at all but a breaker issue. So, we had just traded our perfectly good working dryer in for a mere 15.00 and bought a "new" one for 200.00. After consulting one of the guys at the station that's an electrician too we figured out what to do. Brad went and borrowed a breaker from the workshop and installed it and immediately the dryer was working. So, I then was quite consumed with the amount of money we had just spent when our dryer was perfectly great. I became kind of obsessed with rectifying the situation and getting our old faithful dryer back. But suddenly I was horrifically informed that the last thing stated by the little lady was that all sales were final. We called her immediately but she said our old one could not be plugged in until the next day to confirm that it did indeed work wonderfully. I became so tied up in the injustice of it all and the lack of willingness on their part that I was quite caught up in the moment too by that point. Finally after the absurdity of it all there really was nothing to do but laugh. If only we knew what the next day held in store for us!



So, we awoke in better spirits and it was a new day. But, suddenly and without warning, the "new" dryer quit the exact same way the old dryer had. No warning, no noise, no burnt smell, nothing. I had to break the news to Brad and could only imagine the nice response to come. And, of course, it was no less than that by any means. So, off he went into town to get yet some more new breakers. Once home again he installed the new ones. But.........nothing. Not one sound, not one anything from the dryer to elude to the fact it might at some point work. You can only imagine Brad at this point. He called the appliance man to tell them of the new dryer's faulty function and they then informed us that our old one was up there running fine! So, yet once more he and Grayson loaded a dryer into the bed of his truck and off he went with Grayson and Evye in tow. I opted out of that trip. He called from the appliance place and told me that our's did indeed work, as he stood by watching it, and the "new" dryer was NOT working even for the appliance man at his house. So, we came to the conclusion that the replaced breaker was probably good and that dryer was now bad. So, they tried selling us yet another one but I told him that, at that point, all I wanted was my old dryer back if it worked. So, he was refunded all 200.00 and once more they loaded our dryer back into the bed of his truck and it was brought home again.....new scratch and all that we had just the day before engraved into it. So, for the 4th time we hauled a massive appliance up the 2 steps and through the narrow back door and into the utility room. He cussed and let it be known in no uncertain terms that if this dryer did not work when we plugged it in that we would all need to move out of his way while he made his way to his truck and that he was going for a long drive......and the truck might or might not come back in 1 piece. So, after a thorough and detailed cleaning of the whole inner part of the dryer he plugged it in and................it just came on!



Neither one of us are really sure at this point what the whole point was or what we actually accomplished in that whole mayhem. We figured it up and he and Grayson actually put a dryer into the bed of his truck 8 times during that whole ordeal. The old one up, the old one down, the new one up, the new one down, the new one back up and the new one back down and then our old one back up and our old one back down. All of that to end up with the same dryer we started with. Ummmmmm.........so what exactly was that all about anyway??????



In order to mark the event I decided I'd be as absurd as the entire situation itself and memorialize our appliances in pictures. Heaven forbid I take pictures during the whole affair. If I'd even aimed the camera in Brad's general direction I'm not sure it'd still be working. So, here's after the fact. We both had a good laugh after it was all over. The absurdity of it and the whole why of it still isn't quite clear to either of us......except maybe to do a little character building on our parts.......but at least we have a working washer and dryer. Brad still doesn't see quite the amount of humor in it that I do but we did both get a laugh out of it by the end of it.





Our dryer!!!













All of that to round out a bit the whole pooping incident. Yes, Garrison crapped in the carseat right in the middle of shuffling the dryer back and forth. Sometimes you just have to sit back and look at life and realize how funny it is. It makes me laugh even now just thinking of what the last few days have held for us. But isn't life always like that? Somebody peeing on something, pooping on something, puking on something (oh yea, I forgot that somewhere in there I got puked on too by........yes, Garrison), somebody's too full diaper exploding into diaper crystals all over the floor, the a/c making a new funny noise, somebody breaking a window with a flying rock or baseball gone astray, something always going wrong. What would life be without it all? I can't help but think it would be boring and mundane and I would always be wishing for something more.......something like the life I have been given and that I live everyday. And, bear in mind, that not every family with a ton of kids functions in such chaos but I think that somehow I just, in some way, maintain my sanity and a sense of humor in a world of such peaceful chaotic circumstances. It's not always fun but it's the part of life that keeps it interesting and far from boring..........or even remotely equivilant to normal for some.



And, no, we didn't choose to have this many kids for entertainmant purposes but I think it's truly one of those things that you find such a huge blessing and overwhelming surprise once you are in this odd place. It's like the fact that you can never attempt to even explain to a person how the love just grows by leaps and bounds with each one. It's not even like the love you had the 1st time around. It's kind of like marriage and the mystery that Brad and I have often thought that it is. We knew we deeply loved and cherished each other from the beginning and that we were truly best friends in every sense of the word. We loved each other's company more than anything.......but after so many years of marriage the depth of what we have come to love in each other and appreciate each other for so far surpasses everything that we felt when we married that it just kind of mystefies us. Who knew so many years ago that it could become so much more wonderful than it already was. And who knew that as long as we had waited to be together on our long awaited honeymoon night that so many years later it would put that night to shame. Sorry guys for the graphic details but it's just true. Brad teases that he can never have an affair now due to all of the years he has invested in me. He says it would take way too much time and effort on his part to start all over again with somebody new!!!

Anyway, that is what each and every new baby is like. The love that grows multiplies so many more times than you can ever imagine that it is really one of those things that is not experienced or understood until it is lived out. And the blessings discovered along the way so far surpass anything we ever thought life might hold in store for us......like the humor in which we can view life and the miracle of seeing and discovering things through the innocent eyes of children and the way I am not brought just 1 flower from a sweet chubby little hand but entire bouquets from 5 little hands..... all being shoved up to my nose while I am being ordered to smell them all at the same time. It's just all so amazing to me...this whole life experience. Even when I am tempted to get out of sorts due to a baby needing to be bathed for the 15th time that day depending on what treasure he dug out of the trash that specific time around (it varies from a discarded PB & honey sandwich.....I know, I know....yes, the allergy awareness has hit painfully home with him......to left over yogurt cups to soggy cereal that cannot go down the drain due to our wild west way of living with no disposal these days). I am just overwhelmed by the breathtaking love I am showered with by the blessings I have been given. It literally takes my breath away to think of the love that I have and am being showered with from both Brad and the children. There truly is no greater joy.


(Garrett's newest life threatening accomplishment)





(His sweet mischevious smile...always hunting for the latest thing to get into...the latest being the trash, as he is now on the same level with it since he is a walking pro these days.)

Garrett's walking!!!!!.......and pursuits in life

Well, he did it. Finally at 13.5 months he decided it was time to take off. He was too funny since he used his little puppy like an old man with a walker. He'll push that puppy around and get to his destination and then sit with it by his side and when he's ready to roll again up he goes and rolls along with his puppy paving the way. I really should get some pics of him with his little walking puppy before he stops using it altogether. But with the encouragement and surrounded by the thrilled exclamations of tons of brothers and sisters I guess he figured it was time and like the shining spotlight. Milestones just never grow old to me. He's got to be one of the funniest babies we've had as they've learned to master this huge right of passage. He's soooo proud of himself and after falling down will sit there and clap and say "yea!!!!".








Well, I have come to the conclusion that I have way way too many things I like in life and that I want to pursue. I looked up today and realized I have 104 things going and can't keep up with 1/2 of them....though I think and obsess over them constantly. Just to name a few of the ones that are at the top right now.....

With the encouragement of Jean, my midwife, I am looking into starting midwifery back up. It would be an incredible 2nd income for us and the fulfillment of a dream for me that was never lost. It was laid down for a long while but I can't help but think that all of those years of studying and apprenticeship were not ever to be utilized in my life. I can start a correspondence course for now and work on my actual clinical time in 3 or 4 yrs when I complete my academics and also making the children a little older. The thought of this is sooooo exciting but kind of daunting too since I still have my family to nurture and tend to. I would never give up homeschooling to pursue this though so that is definitely prioritized over everything. We are making way too much progress and seeing way too many turning points in the children to not follow through with homeschooling. And I just love it too much.

So then I have my blogging that I have come to love. Some days are more lifeless than others and when I read back through some of the posts I can't believe how humorless and void of personality they are! But I love knowing I will have this to look back on in years to come and remember the day in and day out life that we lived as they grew. So, I don't want to lay it down at all.

Then we have sewing. I have a passion for sewing now. I can hardly wait to begin making the girls dresses. I found some fabric the other day that was neon green with purple polka dots and then the same neon green with hot pink stripes. It was coordinating fabric and will make the cutest dresses for the two of them. The girls loved it. I could've done a whole bedroom for them out of it! It's so great. I'm still wanting to go back and get it just to have on hand when I do get the sewing machine. And I'm now back in my fabric search for the perfect nursery fabrics. I sold the heirloom honey oak canopy crib since I never did like the color of it. The walnut colored one was my favorite and I still miss it. I thin maybe because I was sentimentally attached to it too!!! Anyway, Garrett is the only one that has slept in the honey colored one and I never have liked it with the nursery being what it is. I've always longed for a white Simmons canopy crib and we finally found one so I sold the honey one and we got the white one. It re-lit the fire and I am now on my search again for the perfect fabric to compliment the whole "children by the sea" nursery. I'll see if I can scan the pic of the look I am after. And once found I will start sewing on our dream nursery. Brad got most of the hallway finished so once that is completed we will start painting the nursery "seagull blue" to see if we can get it done before baby Gavin arrives. Anyway, so there's sewing that I can hardly wait to tackle on the list of pursuits!

Then there's photography that's very much up there at the top and then reading, gardening, cooking and the list just goes on forever. I'll never in my life get to them all! I've had a hard time fighting off the urge to go take some college classes on photography at ASU. I really really want to dig into that a little more. I love what I am able to get of the children in the pics I so amateurly take so I can only imagine what a little knowledge behind it would do.

And all of this going right along side everyday life of 5 loads of laundry a day (1 white, 1 dark, 1 denim and 2 towel loads), dishes, floors, and just general upkeep....not to mention schooling the children and how many different paths it is so easy to walk down in expanding what they are learning in the books. Right now we have a surprise science lesson the storms brought to us. Grayson and Evye found tadpoles in a huge puddle in town and brought as many home as they could in a bucket and we have watched them go from tiny little tadpoles to full grown frogs. It's amazing even for me!!!! It's been so much fun. But as science presented itself to us we took it and went with it and looked up everything we could in books and on the web on the life cycle of a frog, what they eat as tadpoles and how to care for them. Apparently they're either low maintenance or we did something right!!! But it has mesmerized all of the children from Grayson all the way down to Grant. Aubrey is so taken with them she kisses them on a regular basis. It's amazing none of them have turned into a prince yet. She certainly has given them ample opportunity.






And in the midst of what the storms brought our way in the form of amphibious creatures we also had the chance to rescue 2 turtles. Brad found this really really large aggressive one out in the back pasture. He was dusty and tired, as Grayson put it. Although I kind of highly doubt the tired part of it since he was all too happy to snap at anything that came near him. And whoever said turtles are slow I think was just out to start a myth that all of the gullible people in the world might fall for. That freakin thing would chase us around the carport and intentionally snap at our feet! Anyway, in our efforts to teach the children kindness to animals we blew up the little 2 ring pool, washed him off and let him swim around...in which he was still snapping! Once everybody was ready we took him down to the river to live a fulfilled life and then headed to Eden to get dinner. The very next day a smaller one appeared and we took it down to the river too to live a full and rich turtle life. So, we seem to be getting plenty of hands on scientific experience with wildlife around here, not to mention lessons in habitat that accompany it all.


On the same day as the turtle Mother and I had gone into town and Brad was here with all of the children, minus Garrett. We never really got around to discussing just how it was he heard it when he was supposed to be mowing but somewhere in there our 2nd rattlesnake of the year was discovered. Much to my dismay he shot it into 5 pieces and no pics were taken! It was a big one though and had 4 or 5 rattles......enough to be heard loudly from a distance. Finally as he was trying to coax him out from under the cactus he was able to get a good look at his tail. I was all for getting some good pics but he said the whole point was to blow his head off...so that's exactly what he did with his 10 gauge shotgun! Anyway, so yet another rattlesnake finding...this time out in the gin lot. Not surprising given the amount of overgrowth and sheer wild grassland that is on that side of the fence. Until it's officially our property though we can't do much about that.

(Garrison and his new found favorite shoes...much to Brad's utter dismay! They mysteriously disappeared a few days ago.)

And I knew that life couldn't be too boring for too many days. It seems we have gone through a period where nothing startling or actually out of the ordinary has taken place......though I guess ordinary is pretty relative though to a person who has no kids. But it finally started again with Garrison. Sometime last week (I was too exhausted to try and document it then) Garrison woke up that morning crying and, what seemed to be, sucking in air. I figured it was croup and expected the cough to come next. It was the same wheezing sound that always seems to go with it and makes you think they are going to die here at any moment. The cough never came and he continued in his breathing like that all day. Brad finally got home and assessed him only to discover he was really trying way too hard to breathe. We have had so many false alarms that I tend to down play it sometimes, I think, just because it never really is anything. But I stayed worried all day and by the time Brad got to him he kind of relieved me in a weird sort of way to know that somebody else thought it was really not sounding good. So, with Mother here Brad and I took off for the ER. And man, what a difference it is here than in FW!!! There were only 3 other people in the ER waiting room and we got called in within 10 minutes and were taken to a room! By the time we got there I had already given him 2 rounds of Albuterol and he'd also taken 2 doses of Prednisone. Despite all of that he was still working at breathing. So, they kept him for 4 hrs and gave him a breathing treatment with the breathing machine. There was nothing to explain his sudden onset of difficulty breathing so they freakin diagnosed him with asthma!!! What??!!! I found it really hard to believe and just sat there knowing this is not at all what I had in mind. It didn't even feel right and I knew in my spirit that asthma was not his problem. There wasn't a peace and there wasn't anything in me that agreed with the diagnosis. But to a dr that must diagnose the problem he declared it with the onset of asthma and sent us home with treatments to live with it. By the time we left Garrison was doing great and finally slept. He hasn't had any signs of it since. We were also told that a pediatrician would not be willing to take an ER dr's word for it and they would not consider him asthmatic until they assessed him. So, I guess technically he hasn't been diagnosed with it. But it was a funny sort of day and one that didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the week. No one else got sick and Garrison hasn't showed any other signs that we were told to look for of having it.

Then while staying with Granny Sat night this past weekend Aubrey started crying at 10:30 that her ear hurt. And let me start by saying that Evye has had an ear ache for no apparent reason for 2 wks now. We finally took her in and they didn't find anything. Given the symptoms she has had it is all pretty much allergy and head related and the sinus pressure is making her head and ears hurt. So, we pretty much are just having to stick with Tylenol on that end. But Aubrey has heard nothing but ear complaints for 2 wks now so I didn't take her seriously! I could've made my life a whole lot easier and just believed her at 10:30 instead of living through the hell that I was about to unknowingly put myself through. I was extremely exhausted and all I could think of was going to sleep. She cried for 2 freakin hours! She'd lay there and get really still and then just start kicking and wailing and saying her ear hurt. I finally broke a Tylenol tablet in 1/2 and told her to swallow it. I didn't come prepared for anything since this was just going to be a 1 night stay. She allegedly swallowed the pill at midnight. By 2am I was kind of at my wits ends and more than a little irritated with her. I kept telling her she had medicine and there was nothing else I could do at that point. At one point in there I did call Brad and ask if I should just take her to the ER too......since, afterall, we had just visited one a few days ago with another kid. I knew though that wouldn't fix anything and only prove to keep us both up all night. So, finally sick of debating it all, I got dressed in total disbelief of what I was doing and at 3 am I gathered her up and we headed to freakin Walgreen's!!! To put it mildly I just stuck a bra on to spare the cashier and put dress sandles on with high water pants that shrunk a year ago in the wash and an oversized shirt. Without brushing my hair I fingered it into a ponytail. I gathered up Aubrey in her little purple nightgown with her little pink bear, belted her in and we wound our way through dark empty streets. And then there it was all lit up like a neon bar at 3 am. Lights shining so brightly we had to squint to pull into the parking lot. And, on a side note, I found it rather amusing who all goes to Walgreen's at 3 am on a Sun morning. Much to my chagrin, due to the way I looked, most were young guys out buying Mother's Day cards and toothpaste or different kinds of meds for various ailments. I thought the funniest one was the guy who was buying a Mother's Day card and Immodium! I got news, if any of our kids ever have to buy that combo I'll be telling them to skip Mother's Day that year and I'll catch them next time around.

Anyway, I always find it a little odd too that when you go in the shape I was looking the really scary perverts choose then to hit on you! Why is that???!!!! When Grayson was little and Scott and I would go up to Kroger at all hours of the night there was a messed up guy there that did it everytime! It's actually a little scary to think of what he goes home and does on the internet. Anyway, leave it to me to find the store with a pervert who is so desperate he'll hit on anybody and everybody.......even if you are 8 months pregnant! So, with Aubrey very awake and wide eyed we got liquid Motrin and Tylenol, nighttime ear drops and something to make her ear feel better....which she informed me was a soft little flannel baby doll. By the end of it I felt like one of those American Express commercials that do the: 1 bottle of children's Tylenol 3.24, 1 bottle of children's Motrin 4.56, 1 bottle of ear ache relief 7.89, 1 soft cuddly baby doll 5.99.......a night's worth of peaceful sleep.......priceless. By this time it was going on 3:30. I gave her what I could in the Suburban before ever leaving the parking lot so it'd have time to start working. I got back to Granny's and just as I was putting the drops in her ears I found the mysterious Tylenol tablet hiding in the sheets of the bed! So for 4 freakin hrs I laid there mad at her thinking she had Tylenol in her system and she was just moaning and groaning cause she was out of sorts, which is unlike her but completely possible since she's kind of the wild card. Then I felt completely remorseful and cuddled her as she fell asleep almost instantly.......and continued to sleep until 10 Sun morning. I had visions of sleeping late and foregoing church but, as it was, I got up and readied the girls and Garrett and off we went to m eet Mother who had the other 3 boys.









So, more into the life with lots of kids......after Garrison's and Aubrey's little issues this past week just yesterday Garrison, the one who usually shows no interest in putting foreign objects into his body was playing in the bathroom while Evye bathed. I realized a little too late he had her earrings and was trying to pierce his own ear. So, I confiscated the one earring and never thought about it again...........until about 10 minutes later when he came in and kept saying he wanted to get the earring out. Not really thinking much about it I told him it was already out. He kept sticking his finger down in his ear and I finally, in my dense state, realized we were indeed missing the other earring and he was frighteningly obsessed with his ear. Once I looked in I pulled out the post part and then realized in horror that the other side of the earring was buried deep within. After much effort on my part I got it out and in horror saw something else still buried. I then began to think he had stuffed a little treasure trove of objects down in there. Brad arrived home and between the 2 of us we came to discover that in all of his shoving small objects down his canal he had dislodged his ear tube and could now feel it down in there. To our relief it was just his tube and posed no danger but, on the other hand, he was completely obsessed with removing it. After much pinning him down and fishing on our part we finally realized it was a losing battle and he was all too happy to live, letting the tube stay within his ear. So, there it still sits....which was fine with me too by the end of it......though it kind of ticked Brad off that all of his expedition endeavors into the canal were to no avail.



So, we arrived at today...which started off kind of hectic but fairly normal. We had to go to Eden to have Mother's water turned on so I had everybody go through the morning routine and got them dressed decently to make a trip into town too. Just as all of them were ready I went in and discovered that Grant had dug out the Hershey's syrup and sucked the rest of it out like a bottle. It was a sticky mess..........and the crispy cleaness of his white shirt was now fingerpainted deliciously in muddy brown....along with the floor that seemed to have been finger painted in the process too. In a little dismay I undressed him......and moved on to Garrison that now had to be changed too if I wanted to keep them in matching outfits. That was our 1st delay. Then the oven man called and said he finally had the part ready and was on his way. We have had no oven or stove use for 4 wks now so I was quite ready to regain that luxury again. So, I decided to delay the trip. By then it was lunch time and then heading into naptime. With oven/stove fixed and the children now sleeping we broke out the school books and started into that part of the day. I could no longer hold my eyes open by 3 and decided I'd lay down on the couch so I would hear the little ones when they woke. Garrrison, in all of his Aubrey ways, woke up quietly and decided today was the day to break into the medicine cabinet.......which is supposedly way out of reach with no allure. But, no, he scaled the cabinet and decided on a large 1/2 full extra strength Tylenol bottle. I guess he played with them awhile before getting the bottle open at the kitchen table. Of course, I woke up to pills everywhere.......and I don't mean just a little bit everywhere....I mean, like, everywhere everywhere. With the majority around the table I went on a hunt and began finding them in the bathroom, hallway, kitchen, and children's room. And now my thoughts tried to grasp the insane thought of trying to find them all before Garrett's hands and mouth did. I cleaned it all up, which took forever, only to discover in that great feat that that was not the only thing he and Grant had teamed up together and opened. I found 2 empty children's Tylenol bottles in different trash cans throughout the house. Lids were discarded in the floor and empty med bottles that used to be 1/2 full were in trash cans. I called Brad more irritated than worried and asked for signs of drinking too much Tylenol. All turned out fine and I again cleaned up those messes. Finally a massive amount of spaghetti, a homemade favorite celebrating the use of our stove again, was ready for dinner. All of them ate 2 huge bowls of it all and I guess at some point in there Grant got full. I looked up to the kitchen floor splatter painted with.....of course, nothing less than handfulls of spaghetti. He had managed to truly splatter paint everything, including Garrett. Somehow he got him right in the head and so I began work on Garrett. It was pretty evident from the beginning that he was going to need much more than hand picking noodles out of his hair and a wet wash rag trying to get the sauce off his head and out of his hair. So, all 3 little boys went to the tub. And oh, how great it is to have older kids! Sometimes I really don't know how moms without them do it. The older 3 completely cleaned the floor mess up while I bathed the spaghetti laden bodies. The girls hand picked up all the noodles and Grayson wiped the now dried sauce up with a wet paper towel. After completeing that task he mopped what remained and I came out to a perfectly clean floor and 3 pretty proud kids of what a great job they'd done. It actually turned out to be quite the team, as I am learning ways to maximize profeciency and make the older ones feel appreciated at what they can now do. And, no I didn't have the time or the patience to get pics of the Hershey's syrup, Tylenol pills (which we're actually a little scary to look at all over the floor) or the spaghetti toss......though the thought did insanely occur to me as I cleaned each and every thing up.



So, that's a run down of the last few days. It never gets old. I don't know how people cannot have stuff to write about. I have so much that I never seem to get it all in.

(Mother's really cute and homey, soon to be painted rent house!)

Oh...and Mother got the job at the county working with the sheriff and his deputies. She's going to be in charge of motor vehicle registration and everything having to do with voting. We are all pretty excited. Since buying the other's place is still out right now she found a place to rent. It is soooooo cute! It reminds me of the Spicewood days. It's that homey. The landlady has already agreed to pretty much anything Mother wants to do to improve it. One of the older men at church has invited us out to his place at the lake and take what we waant in the way of landscaping. And Mickey has tons of rock on his ranch that we can border flowerbeds with. So, we are getting ready to get all of her stuff moved there. And we amazingly were blessed by an incredible glass top cookstove/oven that is only 2 yrs old in almost mint condition for only 100.00 on craigslist. It's amazing! So, though it was a little odd that the house didn't come with an oven, she has been so blessed by how well she came out on that end of things! She goes to pick it up on Sun on her way down here. It'll be so good to have her close again. We've already had to establish boundries with the children since if it was up to them they'd all live with her but I think it'll work out to be the most incredible thing and she'll love her job. (Her back yard)

Happy Mother's Day!

Well, Mother's Day found us again in Fort Worth. We had originally planned to go to the homeschool bookfair but after having traveled as much as we have lately that plan was nixed. I really long to go but I'm kind of tired....so we'll shoot for next year on that one. After deciding against that Brad and I both agreed just to cancel the trip...since the only other reason to go was for a prenatal appt for me. At the last minute I decided to go ahead and go since Daddy planned Scott's huge 30th birthday party for the same weekend knowing we'd be in town. So, once again the children and I loaded up, rather spontaneously, and made a short trip there and back. I'm so very glad we went ahead and went. Brad got called in for OT so he ended up not going.

We arrived Sat afternoon and I left the little ones with Mother and headed over to my appt. Everything's good on that end. My platelet count is low again this pregnancy but still much better than it was with Garrett's. And to no one's surprise I'm anemic...as always. So, we're keeping an eye on the platelet issue and going to recheck my iron at my next appt. Other than that all looks good and baby's head down.....and NOT posterior like Garrett's stubborn little butt proved to be. So, that alone should make for a faster labor and delivery!!! At least we all hope so. We went over labor plans and what exactly the plan is to get there. That was fun just knowing baby Gavin's arrival is not so very far away! And we were also given a list of what to have on hand in the event that we don't make it to the birthing home. Brad's bringing home an OB kit from the station and we are now gathering all of the rest of the needed items for the "just in case". Although I can say from true experience that I've never in my life been known to have a fast labor! So, in theory, we should make it there with time to spare!! Only 7 wks to go now!

After my appt we headed to the birthday party for Scott. That was fun and I'm really glad we went. Here's just a few of the many pics that were taken.




It's hard to believe he's 30! Both of us have agreed that neither one of us really feel like we should be that age yet but on the other hand it's so much better being older. I don't miss my younger days at all. I really love where I am now. I love how far both of us have come. I'm so very proud of him and not only what he has accomplished but who he has become....and is still becoming.

The children and I went to church with Mother and Granny for Mother's Day. The children again did great. I love it when they are so very showered with compliments on their behavior and how very sweet and good looking they all are. It really is the best Mother's Day gift ever to be given compliments on your children. It just never gets old. To know that everything we are working so hard to instill in them is evident to others is so amazing and such a blessing to me. I want them each to be able to stand out in the group of them and on their own. My desire for them is that when they are looked at individually that they are so well dressed and well kept that one would never guess that they are not an only child. I want each and every one of them to know and I want to teach them that they stand out for their own individual reasons and they each shine brightly according to their character strengths.

Grayson's is for his very social and outspoken, friendly, intelligent and confident personality.

Evye's is for how loving, nurturing and willing to serve she is and the honesty and kindness with which her angelic blue eyes speak.

Aubrey stands out for, of course, her notorious firecracker personality and the spirit with which she not only speaks but pursues all of life. It's hard not to fall in love with her just due to the sheer nature of how determined and stubborn she is. It is obvious to most everyone that she will go really far in life given the big spirit she has harbors in such a little tiny body.

Garrison shines for his humor and outgoing nature. Even in his 2 yr old body he is quite the star of the show......he and Grayson can entertain an audience for hours!

Grant is ever the soft spoken, tenderhearted, gentle natured one of them all. He's so entirely lovable. He is the one that is so very keen on the spirit around him and seems to be tuned into what is taking place around him in the spiritual realm.

And little Garrett is so far the ever happy, delightful contented one that is happy with most all of life. He just wants to be surrounded by people and his good natured personality and joy of life is contagious to all.


Alright, this has become too long already. I'll continue on tomorrow with all of the latest happenings. We have had a very full week. I really should try and write once a day just for the ease of keeping up with it all. Our life doesn't seem very busy until I sit down to try to capture it all in words.

Things to catch up on include Garrison's trip to the ER, the rattler Brad killed 2 days ago in the pasture, our 2 turtle rescues, and the children's latest science lesson. More on those later.

Guilt Ridden Day

Well, I suppose it's the inevitable type of day every parent comes face to face with at some point. That huge sinking feeling of sheer selfishness on my part, utter irritation with everything and way too short of an already short fuse concerning everything around me. Maybe it's hormonal. I've never really considered myself the hormonal type but I can't really make any sense of my total lack of any kindness within me either. It's just kind of a down type of day. I have everything in the world to be grateful for but, still, true joy seems to elude my spirit for whatever reason. After a really hard day and a big reality check yesterday I went to bed feeling lonely and depressed last night. So, I think I fell asleep sometime around 7...shortly after the children were down, but not asleep for sure! I slept until 7 this morning and it felt really good. I thought sleep would cure my emotional state but I guess it didn't really phase it.

The household noise seemed to be too much at times and any little whiny thing coming from the children sent me over the edge. I felt so horribly awful on the inside. I knew the whole time how I must sound to them but still I felt rather incapable of stopping it either. I knew if I taped myself and the days events that I would forever hate myself and the way I treated the children. I knew I would be quite terrorized at just how horribly mean I sounded. I knew everything I said lacked any amount of joy in it. I finally apologized to the children and asked them to work with me a little in order to make the day as enjoyable as we could. In an effort to cheer everyone up after a full day of just a sheer barrage of onslaughts coming from my mouth I finally felt so guilty that I figured I'd do something fun with them and at least refill all of the bird feeders and hummingbird feeders and then fill their new ones that we bought to hang in front of their bedroom window. Mother and I found really cute little feeders for kids to birdwatch for only 2.50. So, we filled and hung those so they'd have little birds to wake up to in the morning. After hanging those we found that we could hang one more in front of their window since they have a huge....nearly wall to wall......picture window view from their room. They also insisted that Garrett have one for his windows. They all agreed you're never too little to be amazed by birds. So, that cheered everyone and we'll get 2 more the next time we head into town.

I suppose, it was just one of those days where by the time they went to bed I didn't look any different than I had when I got up this morning. I took a shower but that was about the only improvement I made to myself all day. We got all of their school work done but not without it's share of frustrating me royally too. Evye is now very ready to move on from just simple addition and subtraction so we headed into regrouping. That had to be about the most agonizing thing I've done in awhile. How can she be so very smart and be soooooo clueless????? We did finally manage to get through that with some degree of success. The true test will be if she can still do it tomorrow!

I don't know. Maybe it is just being pregnant. Who knows. There are days during pregnancy that I am on top of the world and have it made in every way. My little brood is good looking, clean and well dressed and we have it made. I feel like I am quite the woman being able to hold it all together and maintain some physical form of being in good shape and continuing to maintain some sort of physical attractiveness despite the changes a body goes through. But then there are the days where I just can't help feeling like a beached whale and like I am 200 pds. The makeup never seems to make it on and I am barefooted and in the kitchen in jogging suit pants and one of Brad's t-shirts. Most days I wonder how in the world I'll ever lose it all...despite the fact I always do. I seem to always battle these huge obsessive thoughts towards the end of every pregnancy. I fear with each and every one that I will turn into a person that I despise in the mirror. And I just so never want to go back there again. I've been down that road and, to a degree, I really never leave it. I fear getting stuck even though I always overcome. And when I get down I tend to really become focused on those thoughts. For whatever reason when any kind of a down day hits that seems to come up at some point during the course of it.

So, there was really no point in saying all of that except just to say that some days are just hard I suppose. One of the most common comments we get from strangers and onlookers is the "You have soooooo much more patience than I do!!!!". Well, I have just about as much patience as anyone else on this earth.....probably less! I think one of the true blessings of children is that I, as a mortal sinning human, am forced to overcome myself the majority of the time and focus on something beyond my needs and desires. It is like constantly being in training and, like a dog, most days are huge accomplishments in the training endeavor but every once in awhile they have those "backwards" days where everything taught to them seems to elude them. Only.......when I have such days my children are the ones suffering. Oh....the guilt of a parent that never seems to really fix itself. I do love the fact that children seem to be God's way of putting the world and it's mortality and self-focused ways into perspective. When everyone around us is stuck on their problems and seems to be so wrapped up in nothing but themselves I have the children and their needs to put before my own. So, though I may wait infinitely for my desires to be fulfilled I can only imagine the treasures I am storing up as I am taught the hard lessons of patience and the blessings I have the ability to give away by meeting the needs of my children first and foremost. And throughout it all I hope it sets an example for my children to value the needs of others and teaches them to put others before themselves in a healthy way.

Though as I sit here writing I find it quite contradictory that I write all of this crap on one of the worst days. I sit here saying that I want to teach them character and what it is to lay themselves down for the benefit of others in order to serve the Lord, yet here I go confessing how awful I have been the entire day and how entirely irritable and moody I find myself to be.

Whatever. I think the thoughts run too deep to try and really convey them all in this tortured state I find myself wallowing around in. What a day.

Yet another Wal Mart experience????!!!!

So I've decided that I truly have this love/hate relationship with Wal Mart going. I think I may just boycott by the end of it. But I'd only make it 2 or 3 days before embarking on yet another expedition into the blessed store only to be reminded what I did it for to begin with! Ugh! I knew very well what I was in for taking all 6 of them in on a Sun afternoon right during lunch and naptime. They had not been fed and the little 4 were in need of upcoming naps. I could've made my life a lot easier and just headed to Ballinger where they could've all been left in the Suburban while I ran in.......but, no. I was feeling up for the task at hand and since Brad got called in for overtime we were all restlessly and impatiently waiting to see him. So, with everyone in tow we loaded up and were bound for the station. We hung out there for awhile while he loved on the children and I kissed and loved on him and then we were off to Wal Mart. Only needing 2 gallons of milk and a thing of bananas, due to waiting for his next paycheck to come in before we do any amount of real grocery shopping, I figured it'd be a very short trip in and out.....which it was. We ran into several friends we know and stopped to chat with them, in which all kids did great. Aubrey and Evye had a little under the current fighting match going but other than that all went well. But then it hit. Grant got tired of being squished in the cart with Garrison so he started pulling hair. I made a quick trip to the cookie isle and subdued them both and just held Garrison the rest of the way through the store since we were done anyway. Then it happened. We got to the register and I swear the oldest old lady in all of Tom Green county was checking everyone out. And, of course, the woman in front of us was Japanese and couldn't speak a word of English. So, it starts taking forever. And by now Grant is impatiently waiting to get the cookies open. Grayson got mad about not getting a coke and Aubrey was kind of hanging on everything, as always. And then in the midst of it all Garrett, of course, wiggles out of the seat belt of the cart and stands up in it. Still holding Garrison I sat Garrett back down and remained happy. I gave Aubrey a job so she was all too happy to help set stuff up on the counter. Everything was still running fairly smoothly....except for the old hag's growing irritation with us. Aubrey pushed the 20 oz coke I had up on the counter and it accidentally fell. The old woman harshly pushed Aubrey's hand off the cabinet and sat the coke up so hard that it made it all fizzy. I missed that part of it though or I would've said something. Grayson caught it though and immediately took up an offense for Aubrey. It was finally our turn and the unhappy woman sighed in disgust and she checked us out. I deposited Garrison back into the cart with Grant and knew I would have to pry the cookies out of Grant's hand to be rung up. So, I did. And so he screamed outrageously like I expected he would. I couldn't very well deal with his behavior right then and there so I just asked her politely to ring them up and then handed them back to Grant, in which his screams were quieted. I know.......the so not wonderful parent thing to do but the only way to help the situation at hand out at the moment. I knew there would be more to deal with from him once out to the Suburban so I chose to wait until then to deal with his little demand issues. BUT, the woman grabbed the cookie package out of my hand and roughly ran it over the scanner and tossed it back to me. After Grant hushed she said in the most unkind manner ever, "You have your hands full....and another one coming??!!!" wagging her head back and forth and looking with contempt at them all. I smiled graciously....although inwardly I really was wanting to pinch Grant's head off at that point, not to mention the mental thoughts that were coursing through my head about what I could do to the old lady.......and said in a purposefully joyful and calm manner, "I couldn't ask to be more blessed than I have been by the handful that I have been given" stooping to kiss Garrett's big round head of blond hair. He grabbed my shirt and laughed and not even phasing her she responded with "Ugh. Good luck." I smiled again and said happily "You have a great day". She responded with some sort of grunting sound.

I called Brad and vented on the way home. His medic was the next one up so I told him I had a good mind to take our crew back in there and make her deal with them again so she'd just go ahead and have a heart attack. I also went on to say he could make her labor in her breathing for awhile before saving her life, if he chose to do so, and as he did tell her those were his 6 kids she was just so mean to. You just never know when your actions will come back to bite you in the butt.

Oh well. That is just not the purest thought to have after the incident but it made me feel better in some small form and fashion. Instead of thinking of how to finish off a 95 year old woman I could've actually stopped to think of how sad and lonely her life must be without knowing the joy of children. Grayson kept asking on the way out to the Suburban why she was so mad at them and why she treated Aubrey the way she did and then threw the cookies back at us. I told him that she was probably very lonely and having a really bad day. She could go home to her empty and quiet house with no one to think about but herself and her misery but that we had the joy and blessing of going home and being surrounded by others to love and to think about and to put before our own selfish thoughts. She had no one to think of but herself and we had each other to think about and love. How blessed we truly are. And, of course, sweet Grayson, ever bringing me back to reality and convicting me, asked if we might could give her our cookies or go back in and give her some flowers to cheer her up so that she wouldn't be so lonely and so that she'd know how great kids are. Oh the conviction that pains the parenting heart! As I'm standing there thinking of ways to level a 95 year old woman they are there thinking of how we could minister to her in some way to make her life a little better.

Alright, on to more day to day things.

Evye lost one of her front teeth. Being the parent ever on top of things I forgot about it that night and the tooth fairy went mysteriously missing, much to her utter dismay. She got up crying about it the next morning. I felt horrible. So, I made up this incredibly great and creative story....or so I thought in my own pride.......and told her that the tooth fairy had been in China due to a little girl over there that lost one of her teeth. Seeing that China's on the other side of the world the fairy couldn't very well make it back to TX in time to get to our house too. So, I knew the fairy was back in town and she'd be leaving her contribution that next night. Having studied China in one of our geography and cultural lessons, and it's horrid state of what they are doing to families by killing off baby girls and keeping the boys, Grayson was well informed. He spoke up saying that my story couldn't be true since China doesn't have any little girls! Ugh! So, then that went off on yet another lesson about China and what exactly they are doing and that , yes, they do have little girls but yes, they are also killing them too. So, my creative state backfired and turned into a 30 minute dissertation about the legal, inhumane and cultural issues of China. Then after it was all over Evye spoke up and said "Well, I know the whole tooth fairy thing isn't true too, Mom. And that she wasn't in China." I asked "Oh, well, how?" She said "Cause you are the tooth fairy and you've never even been to China!!!". LOL!!! It's true that we don't lie to them and none of the children believe in Santa Claus or any other fictional holiday character and that we just use them as a fun thing to joke about and make up stories.....but it was certainly funny hearing it put in those terms by a 6 year old. To make it even worse I forgot about it again the next night! Again I made up a funny story about the tooth fairy's missing status and Evye just bluntly said after the whole long story, "Mom, may I please just go get it out of your purse?" I wouldn't give in to that so I made her wait it out. Finally last night Evye's 2.00 found its way under her pillow as she slept.

And Grayson had dish duty this week and expertly did them all. Evye and Aubrey emptied while he washed and then reloaded the dishwasher. Evye wiped down cabinets and the table since the sink was more than a little full for Grayson's share of the responsibility, so by the end of it we had a spotless kitchen done very well. I've shown Grayson how to start the dishwasher and washing machine numerous times so after finishing the dishes he started it up and all was done. I didn't double check everything since I knew he's done it before many times. An hour later I walked in to a very sudsy kitchen and floor.....to put it mildly. I asked Grayson immediately what he used. With huge honest green eyes staring at me he said he couldn't find the dishwasher soap so he held up in his hands the dishwashing liquid and said "So, I used this." It took 3 rounds with no soap in the dishwasher before it finally rinsed that load all off and rid the dishes of the bubbles. But Garrison and Grant sure thought it was funny!





And just a few misc pics.

Why each and everyday is worth it all. I walked outside the other afternoon before we headed for Eden and found this written in rocks in front of the Suburban. I had to step over it to get to my seat so it was sure not to be missed. It says "I Love You Mom!!!" Grayson did it all himself and said it took him a very long time to get it laid out. Just when schooling takes absolutely everything within me and I think he'll never be able to spell in his dyslexic ways and when attitudes start to plummet there is always something like this that reminds me of what we really are in this for. And I am continually reminded how very blessed I am to be the mother of so many children with such moldable hearts.






Garrison getting some much needed "Daddy time".







The 1st big swim of the season!!! Neither Brad nor I felt like setting up the honker pool yet so for now they're all more than happy in the little one.