Tuesday, December 30, 2008

"Houston, we have an egg!"



Actually, more like, not just one but 2 and then 3 (#3 came this morning). Grayson went out yesterday morning and came running back in proclaiming that he can successfully start his business now....entrepreneur that he is. In my ignorance I just thought he'd been out raiding a bird's nest when he proudly displayed the treasure gently cradled in his hands. I gently chided, "Grayson, don't go getting eggs out of birds' nests!" He then retorted with, "Mom!!! These are chicken eggs...finally!!!!" The plan is for him to care for and be completely responsible for the chickens and as his "pay" for their upkeep he can sell the extras the family doesn't need. Seeing as how Nanny and Pawpaw have a mere 17 hens and they have 1 1/2 fridges stocked with nothing but eggs I figure we'll have more than a few left once the other 26 chicks get here and grow big enough to start laying. It works for everybody since it is a great way for Grayson to earn some money and he has total responsibility for them....cleaning the coop (ugh!), feeding and watering, letting them out in the morning, putting them up at sundown, gathering eggs and all of the like. I had to break the news to him though that 3 eggs wasn't going to be enough to cut it on the business end. He had a hard time swallowing the fact that he has to wait yet another however many months for his goldmine to cash in since we don't even have the other 26 chickens yet. So, I guess we can officially be considered farmers with the arrival of our very 1st homegrown, farm fresh eggs. Something tells me we still have a long way to go before we ever reach farmer status. But, hey....it's a start!

Our Christmas


So, Christmas was really different this year. A bit of the chaotic mixed in with the incredibly unplanned and spontaneous that we seem to be so great at dealing with. We headed up to Fort Worth Sunday the 21st to celebrate Granny's and my cousin Kristi's birthday and have a huge family Christmas bash with everybody...aunts, uncles, cousins and their families included. This is usually a Thanksgiving affair but due to Ivye's arrival and it being so far of a drive that it mandates an overnight trip we opted out of it this year. But in addition to the Thanksgiving party we missed everyone came to Granny's to celebrate Christmas and the birthdays. It was a huge lively party as usual and the family only continues to grow every year. I am quite sure the small children outnumbered the adults this year. Jackie's crew showed up with their 9 and then one of my cousin's with her little girl that is Gavin's age and then my other cousin with her 4 yr old boy and twin girls that are 2. Then we, of course, had our little brood there. It was indeed quite the celebration of life and joy and the whole season. Everyday up until that point had been in the upper 70's but that day proved true and did not disappoint as it ushered in all of winter....well, at least for 2 whole days. So it is that we bundled up in coats and children ran and played outside playing football with all of the guys, playing chase and knocking each other out by foul balls and the women stayed inside drinking coffee and holding babies. Brad and I gathered the children up about 9 that night and set off for a late trip back home. We pulled in around 12:30am and tucked everybody into their warm beds. It had been decided that Grayson would stay with Mother for some quality time since it had become a little evident over the past few weeks Grayson and Evye needed a little vacation from each other. She and Thomas would bring him back home on Christmas Eve and we would all do Christmas here. Evye came back home with us to cook and ready everything for Christmas Eve and Day. As it was, Monday afternoon Mother's discomfort that she had experienced on Sunday while we were there escalated into a full fledged chest pain with her left arm eventually going numb. It was enough to scare both she and I and send Brad into his serious mode of mandating she go to the ER immediately. I made arrangements from our long 4 hr distance away for Grayson to be picked up by Jackie and wait it out over there. Her older ones were with Daddy so Curtis ended up picking Grayson up, praying over Mother and transporting Grayson to Daddy's house so he could join in on the Christmas party with the older crew of cousins. He slumber partied over there. Mother called about midnight to say she was being admitted for an undetermined amount of time, which Brad was already quite certain would happen. We waited it out to see what would transpire but when she was not released by Tues night it became pretty apparent that she would not be any condition to do Christmas, not to mention do any kind of traveling. We then had to figure out what to do about Grayson. The call was made for him to stay with Jackie and Curtis and then have Daddy and Scott bring him home on the 26th when they were planned to come out and spend the day out here with us. It tugged at my heartstrings though knowing we would be missing Grayson on Christmas Day. Undoubtedly Christmas Day was going to prove to be a very regular day not much different than any other day of the year. Brad would be on shift, Grayson would be gone and dishes and laundry sat glaring menacingly at me. By Christmas Eve I was so depressed that I wanted to cry. Brad was turning in early due to having to wake before the sun to make it to the station. No Christmas movie bundled up under the covers, no coffee and hot chocolate, no wrapping presents together, no unwrapping the presents the children were supposed to be discovering on this winter night. Mother and Thomas were far away instead of sitting merrily on our couch and celebrating with us like we had planned on. Brad's only solution to my growing pity party was to get out and run. After a fair amount of sympathy and encouragement he finally coaxed me off of the couch and continued on until I had running shoes on. He then shoved me out the door and off we went. But, to his credit, I managed to run an entire 2 miles only stopping at the 1 mile point for a VERY short breather. Granted, it was a mere 12.76 minute mile but I figure it can only improve from there since it can't exactly get much worse. And true to that theory, I managed to do a 12.06 minute mile last night. Now just shooting for the 8 minute mile he runs daily. He freakin rode 20 miles in 2 hrs on his bike last night...that included the monstrous beast of a hill that the Kickapoo is. But I figure I'll keep working at it, plodding onward and eventually I too will be there. He's dropped quite a few inches and I continue to watch them fall off of him. I am loving his new shape. The scale has finally started moving in the downward position for me and the inches are starting to drop for me too. So, despite his bootcamp instructor mentality when I get out there and run it is paying off in every way.
Growing Girl

So...back to Christmas. I did indeed feel better after running if all off. I fed the children eggs and homemade muffins for dinner...I bet that is quite different from what the rest of the world was eating on this Christmas Eve....and I bed them all down. In agreeing to keep Grayson over Christmas Jackie and Curtis had decided to go out and bless him with gifts since they had no desire for him to sit there feeling lonely and misplaced. I was overcome with gratitude and blessed beyond belief for their love and complete and total generosity. I was comforted to know he was having the time of his life with their crew so Christmas Day Evye and I loaded the little ones up and we took off for the station to spend some of the day with Brad. He had been stationed at the airport instead of his normal station 7 due to a shortage of guys out there. WE all love the airport and its huge sprawling station. It was in the upper 60's so we all hung out in the bay watching the airplanes coming and going. The children played hide and go seek and chase between all of the ARF trucks and the engine, played on the exercise equipment and, in general, had the time of their lives as they wore themselves out. As the sun began to set it was time to head back home before the deer got too thick on the roads. Brad actually plowed one over about a month ago. But since his truck has about the equivalent of a train engine on the front of it it didn't even put a dent in it. Can't exactly say as much for the deer. It was more than a little dead so he just got out and pulled it off to the side of the road to spare any other drivers from coming across it.
Playing on the trucks on Christmas Day
Sunset at the airport

Evye and I put everyone to bed and then stayed up, popped popcorn, made hot chocolate, ate Christmas cookies and watched Saving Sarah Cain. Not exactly a Christmas movie but a good one nonetheless. Brad returned home the morning of the 26th and Daddy, Scott and Grayson arrived around 2 that afternoon. We did our little family Christmas with them here. Scott spent the day playing with Grayson's radios and keeping the children more than a little entertained. It was a ton of fun and full of laughter. As always, I hated to see Daddy and Scott go. It seems that the time with family is always too short these days. I was exceedingly glad to finally have Grayson home again though. The day seemed to have made up for everything the past 2 days had kind of lacked. After they left we all tried to get the house in some semblance of order and then the children went to bed early. We woke the next morning at 6 am to be on the road yet again by 8 to make it to Brad's parents house by 11....in which I think we finally arrived around 12:30. We spent the day there doing Christmas with them and left about 7 that night to return home. It was a good day and it felt good to just sit and hang out for a little while. The more changes the Lord works within and as He molds my heart with the passing of time the more I realize what a treasure family is. I loved the day spent with his family and the time we were given just to be together. The guys headed off to Midland that afternoon to do some business, Abby spent the afternoon napping while the little children slept so his mom and I had some time to just sit and talk while the older ones played. It was bittersweet heading back home that night.
My movie buddies

Brad went back on shift the next day so the children and I have spent the remaining time puling the house back together so that we fully celebrate the New Year without having housework needing to be done. Mother and Thomas are coming down to bring in the New Year with us. Hey, if we missed Christmas we'll get in New Year's.

Watching the planes

You know...out of the many Christmas' we have experienced now as parents this one had to be one of the best and most enlightening ones as far as gifts are concerned. With little to no overtime at all the past few months money has been stretched as far as it can go...and then some. Finally having accomplished our goal this past year of working towards complete and total financial freedom, except for the house which is very close to being paid off, we no longer struggle every month. Things still get very tight and when there is no overtime there is never any extra. I will say in our learning journey, we should've put back Christmas money each month but we were too focused on paying debt off. It was still well worth it. Freedom is absolutely the best Christmas present ever and we have explained that in detail to each of the children since we believe in teaching them very early on the life principles they will very much need as they grow. Due to that though the Christmas budget was small. It was agreed between Brad and I that the children would each receive one present each from us. In the end we were able to do 2 each but it was still a far cry from the American standard and what I was raised with. Every Christmas when I was young it seemed that Toys R Us had landed on our doorstep. Out of all of those years I only remember my Strawberry Shortcake dolls and all of the twin doll sets and their accessories that I continually longed for. But there is something to be said for refusing to let the commercialism and greed of the season overcome myself. It was not so much greed for my own self but I find that what I wanted to do for the children and what we were able to do differed greatly.....like, as in....desire stood on one side of the Grand Canyon and reality stood on the other. As it in in every parent's heart I longed to go over the top. We have never been able to do that but there have been years when we were able to have some fun and a little more room to work with money. But this year I discovered that the fun does not lie in what we are able to do for them. It was a blessing to me to be able to watch them discover the gift that family is. The time and fun was spent celebrating with them and not greedily focused on the unwrapping of a ton of stuff. And I myself discovered that you can certainly have, not only, a fulfilling Christmas but one that exceeds most others when there is so "little". Each and every thing was appreciated and our home is not strung out with discarded stuff that was just given in excess. I think this year each of us, including the children, saw it as being blessed instead of a time for just acquiring more stuff that will eventually clutter the house and have to be rummaged through. Each gift was picked with what would mean the very most to that specific child. Our budget was a mere 50.00-60.00 for the older ones, 35.00 for the younger ones and only 10.00 for the little 2. I say this only to remind myself in years to come and to give hope to those curious onlookers that it indeed can be done. In fact, in all honesty I think every family should do it at least once. Though it may not be optimal it unraveled everything I ever thought about Christmas and gave it meaning, hosting it in a light that has never before illuminated it. Brad and I liked it so much that we have talked about keeping up the 2 gifts per child with one large family gift each year. We discovered along the way that it also allows us to spend more and really focus gift wise on each child on their birthday and it takes the greed away from Christmas. So, it has been a winning situation all the way around. And my hope is that by next Christmas I will be good enough at sewing that I can make them each a pair of pj's and some matching sheets.....you know, the ones I never got around to this year.
Christmas fun


I got a popcorn popper from Daddy so no more microwave popcorn!!!
Christmas Day smiles and attire....sundresses and short sleeves and shorts


Brad swept me off my feet and surprised me when he handed over a small little package. We had agreed not to buy for each other this year. But somehow in some way he snuck in and was able to get me an IPOD....something I have longed for now for months. I think we both look at our marriage and friendship as as all of the gift each of us will ever need. We are still so totally wrapped up and in love with each other that each day with him just amazes me. I know now what people mean when they say they are more in love now than they were on the day that they married. I look around at others' marriages and am just continually amazed by what we have been given in our relationship with each other. I do not deserve what I have been blessed with in him. He continues to amaze me by the kind of daddy he has become and the man that he is. The depth of what we have with each other knows no words. It is a bonding that only comes from a marriage that is being delicately woven into a growing masterpiece and created by the hands of our Saviour....who has saved both of us from ourselves and blessed us beyond what we ever thought possible by bringing us together. To try and find words for it seems to do it such an injustice and almost seems to cheapen it in some strange way.

At the station...Garrett's actually carrying Gavin around and very happy about it

Overall, it was a somewhat strange unplanned Christmas...but then most of our life is. And it ended up being one of the best spent in the arms of family.



Happy Girl...still trying to get her smiles on camera

Friday, December 19, 2008

Perfection...it's all a perspective


Pictures....ever in search of the perfect shot. A journey that is ever evolving. I have learned that as I have grown frustrated in the past trying for the ever elusive perfect shot.....one that always seems to be just out of arms' reach......that it is not the faces forward, smiling and posed perfectly, that I cherish but the ones that live in the moment.....the ones that capture what it is in each of them that I see everyday. The mischievousness in Garrison's eyes, the absolute comedy ridden spontaneity of Grant, never knowing what you're going to end up with when a toddler is involved and the smiling sparkling eyes of older ones ever patiently waiting to be done with the seemingly endless barrage of shots being taken due to the many younger ones making it last quite infinitely. Brad and I drove out to the lake to take pictures because I have come to love living in the moment and just seeing what we end up with on our own. The day beckoned, beautiful and breezy, with its balmy Florida like December temperatures in the mild 70's. I dressed them all and off we went in search of the unknown. And out of all of the perfect pictures we ended up with...faces forward, little mouths smiling, I realized that these were not the ones I was in love with. Granted, there weren't many of those to file away in our photographic pages but enough to choose from for perfect Christmas cards. Instead I found myself laughing and loving the ones filled with absolute personality. The ones that seem to say it all at a glance. So, it is that we ended up choosing the ones that best suited our life and not seeking the perfection that does not really ever exist around our place. But the more I mulled over this amusing thought as we received a multitude of seemingly picture perfect cards I began to realize more now than ever that perfect is all in the eyes of the beholder.....it is undoubtedly a perspective. This one innocent thought led from one thing to another as it always does when my analytical self is involved and I realized just how many areas of my life this applies to. The perplexing...and somewhat disturbing......realization that came from it though is my own need to live up to everyone else's standards of perfection. I found it interesting that I was somewhat compelled to still send out pictures that were picture perfect by the world's standards due to what the world expects. Was this a need to show off how "perfectly behaved" and "well controlled" our children are or was it to gain the approval of everyone and hear the praises of how wonderfully we do at getting our children's pictures......or was it perhaps just an inner need to know that we are normal? I got news.....we left normal about 5 kids, 2 donkeys, 5 chickens and a bunch of goats ago....if we were ever there to begin with. As I contemplated this strange new thought I realized my need to continue to people please in certain areas. I have waged war with this area of my life for many many years. It dates back to my childhood. And sometimes the things we have thought we have laid to rest and are many years behind us are just buried, only to be reborn at a later date and just uncovered in new and different areas. I have said for years that it does not matter what people think of us. I could care less because I love my life...I absolutely love where we are and who we have become....are still becoming.



Ever the introvert I have learned to fit into society's mold of the extrovert to survive as I walk through adulthood. Granted, I am still odd and say some extremely strange and off things when put on the spot. And, as I have for as many years as I can remember, I beat myself up over it for days and continually think of all of the "right" things I could've said instead of the foolish and somewhat stupid things that so easily seem to roll off my tongue when socializing. It seems to me at times that I never seem to quite fit in just perfectly. Maybe why I love Brad all the more. He loves me despite my strange and introverted ways...my somewhat hermit like existence away from the prying eyes of the world, happy and in love with my life here in our tiny town raising our children away from the harsh views of the world and the opinions of large families. All of my life I have only ever had 2 really close friends at a time. Maybe because I am just not so great at managing more than that. Many more times than once I have gotten myself....or the two of us..... in a hole due to speaking out of sheer and total ineptness that any given 30 year old should have. That is indeed why I love writing. I can bare my soul without being sized up, criticized or thought of in any other way than just "normal" or intruiging at best. Thus bringing me to my point. What is normal? What is perfect? Faces forward, obligatory smiles, what the world expects? Or is normal...perfect.....in the eyes of the beholder? Is the shape my house is in perfect? According to more than a few...yes....according to Mother and some others it is miles away from ever reaching the ever elusive standard of cleanliness perfection. Is my favorite picture this year perfect? In my eyes it is priceless perfection but to others it may seem a bit off that we chose something that revealed wiggly children in which not all were entirely looking even in the general direction of the camera. I realized through many more contemplations of this sort that my journey of social perfection does not exist. It is not me and, more likely than not....never will be. I have indeed made a fool out of myself on more than one occasion and said what is probably perceived as weird and strange things. I know that I talk too fast when I get nervous or excited and I know that I may seem completely immature when spoken to given my age and the number of children we have. But I also know how exceedingly far I have come from the little girl who would not even look a person in the eye or speak loudly enough to be heard. I fall incredibly short of the world's idea of perfection but there again, what is perfection? Is it living up to what you think you should be according to the world's standards or is it just being who you are and letting your guard down to finally be loved for who you are...oddities and all?
Perfection. Is it a number on a scale dictated by a height/weight ratio? Or is it just overcoming lazy, working your butt off and eating sensibly to get down to where you yourself are comfortable and knowing that is where you are supposed to be.......knowing that your husband loves you more now than he ever has and completely excepts the changes your body has inevitably made after 10 years of marriage and 8 children later? Is it striving for what the world dictates on magazine covers with waifly girls scantily clad, picture perfect Christmas cards that arrive in the mail daily, houses that would pass the white glove test on any given day, having the right words at every turn posed on my tongue waiting to charismatically and playfully rebut any statement that is thrown my way? I have never been known for a perfect body, an exceedingly clean house and certainly never been known for any level of charisma yet ever I seek after it and continually feel as though I have failed as I fall short over and again. Somewhere buried deep within me in my innocent wanderings and ponderings of pictures I turned to self evaluation and realized how far I still have yet to go in laying down my continual struggle of perfection as I strive to live up to what I think the world expects of me. When I am around other large families I find myself constantly weighing my own self out and sizing up our lives to those of their's. Over the last year or so I have realized in this journey that every family is very different. Most others I have come across that have as many as we do have much older children in their teens that changes their family dynamics and abilities dramatically. We still are very much in the phase of needing babysitters if we want to go anywhere alone. Therefore we go absolutely everywhere together on most days. I love it though. I love this time in life and I cherish these days before our family is going ten thousand different directions due to different obligations older children are involved in. I love these days of having so many young ones and being surrounded by them altogether and I don't wish them to hurry along. Of the many many other large families we have met there is one that has just as many as we do the same ages as our's and we have grown very close...forming a friendship across the miles. Despite the distance we know what it is to walk this road...the joys, the struggles, the fun and the obstacles. And I have let down my guard and found what my normal is.....my perfect in our little world. It is not being super mom. It is fighting to maintain patience and sanity on some days and it is having the ability to laugh at yourself in a maniacal way at the end of other days, it is the day in and day out life of raising many little souls all still very young in age. It is carving out time to go run and lift weights everyday so that I feel better about not only myself but about all of life in general. There is no super mom living here. Because I am quite sure super mom would have the perfect bod with all of the right words at any given moment with the spic and span house and with all kids looking in the same direction smiling perfectly. No.....perfection is indeed a perspective. Perfection is looking at a picture and knowing that is each and every one of my children being who they are. It is living in an orderly and organized house that is very much lived in and loved by many people. It is not always having the right words and, at times, making an absolute fool out of myself because that is who I am and always have been. It is being able to laugh about it and know that I will either be accepted out of understanding or thought of as odd and be shunned due to lack of understanding. Perfection is the snapshots of life. It is indeed in the eyes of the beholder.







































Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Of Santa, Puke, Trees and Health

Well...here we are again long overdue for any kind of entry on here. What happened to the days of posting every day...or even every other day???I suppose those were back in the days of spare time. Although, I can't really say I have no spare time.....just the spare time that I do have lately has been spent sleeping. And I can't really say that's a bad thing. But then I went and added other stuff to the daily routine and that just cramped it up even more...in a good way, of course.

And along the lines of the subject title...this would be what my last week has consisted of. Maybe the reason for my lack of spare time? I had decided that when Ivye hit her 3 wk birthday that I would begin my whoop-it-back-into-shape routine, assuming everything was a go, which it was. So, I started Weight Watchers back up in earnest, donned my workout shoes and hit the streets. Let's just say that I had no idea...or conveniently forgot....just how jiggly my butt had become. To say that I had a minor state of backside whiplash is stating it mildly, to say the least. I have never in my life felt so much jiggle and bounce and wiggle around on my body in my entire life. That just served to make me entirely mad and so instead of giving up and wimping out I just got mad enough to step it up into high gear. That had some repercussions that went along with it though. After starting on Mon by the time Wed rolled around I could hardly move. I popped some Motrin and went right back out the door and hit the trails, determined to make my body come back under submission and get over my lazy day ways. The children are loving it since they run and bike alongside me as I go. Alright....so that's a little reflective of my speed, I suppose. But to my credit on that end, I leave the little ones behind napping while the older 5 all participate. Despite the amount of cussing I have done within the last week while I have attempted to whittle the size of my read end down I rediscovered what it is to get back outside and be active.

So, in my excitement of being completely unhindered by a larger than life, whale like pregnant body I set out on my exercise endeavors. Pumped with over exuberant enthusiasm I insanely couldn't wait to start this toning journey. By the 3rd day, as every muscle in my body screamed and whispered cuss words in my ear all throughout the day, I was not so secretly wondering why in the world I was ever so happy about starting this crapped out, time consuming project. That 1st day as I set out, my goals set high and my eyes starry eyed with great aspirations and visions of a skinnier butt, I was quickly shot back down to reality of just how many months it has been since I have attempted to be physically active. As my butt jiggled so violently I thought I might take flight at any moment I was quickly shot back down to reality in every way. And given the speed at which my thighs were rubbing together I was quite sure I was capable of igniting a fire so large it might just be responsible for my spontaneous combustion. As I sucked in and heaved out air I am quite certain I inhaled at least 50% of the colleche that covers our roads. Every time I rounded a corner I felt a little more and more like Charlie Brown's little dirt friend that has the dust cloud around him every where he goes. But sheer undeterred determination kicked in and with my mind made up I pressed onward...not about to let my body have the best of me....and not about to be seen in public with the post baby body for too much longer. I may be a mother of 8 now but I'm not going to be the one that says you have to let your body go because of it. And I'm not about to make Brad live with somebody who just gave up and just, over time, went motivationless and got lazy. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would love me no matter what, despite my appearance, but in return I love him deeply enough to get over myself and stay attractive and active for him. Maybe that is what kept me plodding onward as I ran, or maybe it was the tons of children that were not even breathless running effortlessly beside me. But despite the JAS (jiggly ass syndrome), the highly flammable thighs or the hips that flapped and threatened to take me airborne...no, I stand corrected - not much could get me airborne at this point.....I pushed forward. And the farther I went the more exhilarated I felt. Suddenly the freedom of being outdoors, feeling the cold wind bite my face and smelling the autumn leaves that crunched underfoot mixed with the smell of the cold wintry air was rejuvenating every sense within me. It felt good to push myself again and know that I could indeed overcome yet again. It's just a mind thing. Perhaps that is how I've made it through as many natural drug free labors as I have. You just make up your mind to do it and you do it. It certainly hasn't seemed to serve me very well in getting back a post baby body but I've got to start somewhere so why not start after baby #8 after giving it a rest for the last few babies?

So it is that I have gotten out every day and run my 2 mile course and then surprised myself by going on to bike another 2 miles each day. The muscles scream in protest but as the days tick by I'm not so sure anymore if it really is protest or just excited agony of all they can accomplish that they are reveling in. I love the adrenaline dump and the surreal high that the after workout hours give. Somewhere along the way I forgot that feeling of total rejuvenation that a workout gives. I have rediscovered what it is to be outside and have some alone time....to hear nothing but the crunch of gravel made by own feet. Quiet. One night I didn't go out for my run until late sunset. As I rounded one of the corners at dusk I realized I was out running with the deer. They stood eating the acorns from one of the gigantic 100 yr old oaks in town. One took off running in front of me while the others stood and stared...probably wondering who the dying woman was gasping for air making an attempt at actually getting somewhere. Finally, a few others took off jumping fences into nearby goat pastures. Rabbits scurried into the approaching darkness as they heard me coming. Horses whinnied and donkeys honked....primarily OUR donkeys honked everytime I passed by our driveway....and goats made a general overall racket as the animal kingdom settled in for the night. Chickens were all pretty much in their coops for the night and only one rooster could be heard. That would also be our rooster who seems to have no internal body clock whatsoever. As I ran and soaked in what I could of it all before inhaling yet another lung full of cold colleche laden air I realized how blessed I am to have 2 legs that run, a healthy body that has birthed 8 children and can run only 3 wks after giving birth to a perfect baby girl, and how much of a dream it is to be able to not only get out and experience all of this life but what it is to be here in this world, this dream that we have had for so long that we now live in, surrounded by gardens, dry and dusty though they may be, and animals. Children running and biking freely beside me, spilling out into the middle of the road with no sign of a vehicle anywhere to be seen and no worry of busy streets or oncoming cars, no dangers of having to stay on sidewalks. Freedom in every way. What a precious gift so often taken for granted. So I continue to run and push myself forward to see what new goals I can reach and what new things I can accomplish as each day I make new progress and see new changes within my own body, mind and spirit.

As Sunday came so did the day to make our annual trip to the station and meet good ole Santa. Little did we know that our family had been long awaited by the crew up there and even Santa had discussed our whereabouts with everybody up there, all of them wondering if we would indeed show again this year. I suppose we didn't disappoint as the Bettis crew all filed in...some of the Bettis crew a little more thrilled about it than others. Garrison seems to have Santaphobia so, yet again, this year our pictures of him are of a sullen smileless little boy....who is usually the one smiling so big that he outsmiles everybody else in the pic. Everyone else seemed to fair pretty well except for Evye who had picked the prime moment to inform us of a severe stomach ache right before walking through the doors. Since she is the one that always seems to have an ache or a pain I didn't give it much thought. With her stomach ache allegedly so severe that it required tears I hurriedly told her before walking in that there was no blood and she wasn't dying so just to please smile for the picture. She was more than welcome to take a Tylenol or something when we were done. Of course this didn't seem to cut it for her but being the prim and proper one and not about to let any stranger see her cry she bucked up and forged ahead to hand her list over to the big man and do the family pic. Looking back at her smiling is now more than a bit comical now knowing what was about to be unleashed on everyone there. Garrison wouldn't even begin to cooperate and wouldn't even have anything to do with looking in the general direction of the camera so I ended up holding him just to get his head aimed the right way. After the pics were finally done the Santa friendly kids got to hang out and talk with him while the others that seem to have issues were free to be go eat cookies and drink juice. Evye chose this time to come hunt me down with the sickest look ever and inform me that she was about to puke. It only took a glance at her to know that maybe I should've heeded the whole stomach ache thing. The bay was filled with union wives that help orchestrate Santa day every year and on duty guys all visiting with the ones off duty who had brought their families. With this new bit of info she had just handed me I quickly pulled her to the doors and the hallways that led to the bathrooms beyond. Let's just say they failed miserably at leading to the bathrooms quickly enough. Having just cleared the doors and reached the tile floors of the station she unleashed the fury. I didn't really have a clue what to do so I just stuck my head back out the door and summoned Brad. We traded and I stayed with the others while he dealt with her and fetched the mop. It would have been a lot more advantageous to have headed for the grass only a few steps outside of the bay doors. Would've made for a much easier clean up. With that mess finally cleaned up she got to feeling better and we reappeared to chat with everybody and have some fun. We gathered everybody up and, with her feeling so much better, we continued on in our day on the town by heading to Wal Mart, getting dinner and bringing in the season by doing the River Lights. We honestly thought nothing more of her little episode. She had already puked earlier in the week from overdoing it while she and Grayson made up treadmill games. Somehow they thought it would be exceedingly fun to make up games and see how much they could outrun each other. Grayson managed to run a mile doing 8.5 and then run another 2 minutes at a level 10....that would be the treadmill maxed out. Evye, in an effort to compete, managed to run an entire mile doing 6.5. Ok, people.....I run with my long adult legs a 4.8 mile right now. So her much shorter legs running a 6.5 gave her the workout of a lifetime. Needless to say, her legs were a bit sore the next day. She is also the one that is not so heat tolerant and seems to be the most sensitive to physical exertion. So given the huge potassium dump of overworked muscles she had puked 3 times one night earlier in the week right after that marathon event she and Grayson brought upon themselves. So Brad and I just figured the whole puking thing at the station was attributed to the waning effects of that episode. If only I knew what lay ahead.

The downside of being married to a paramedic is that you are now lovingly exposed to whatever was picked up in the back of the medic. Therefore if someone insanely called 911 cause of a stomach virus then we as a family will sometimes reap those benefits. I can't help but think that we have an immunity made of steel sometimes. But when it fails it really fails. We haven't had a stomach virus run through the family in years. We have lived here 2 yrs and have never had one in this house before so it's been at least that long. Brad came home with a touch of it but it was mild and none of us gave it much thought. Even when Evye puked it never occurred to me that it might go somewhere and bring the whole family down. But by Sunday night Garrett woke up crying and proceeded to puke the night away. We moved him out of their room and into our bedroom in order to be able to tend to him and hear him. His bout with it started at 10 and continued on until 2:30am. Many messes, dirty sheets and pajama changes later he finally fell asleep exhausted. At 4 am Ivye woke to be fed and just as I laid her down at 4:30 Gavin woke up crying and his turn had come. I went in to discover it everywhere. With Brad already deeply asleep I just sat to work on Gavin as I peeled pj's off of him and stripped his bed. There in the quiet darkness and dimly lit house at 4:30 am I bathed his little body, disinfected and cleaned everything up. Only to be awakened again an hour later at 6am and required to do the same thing yet again and then yet again at 7:30. By this time Brad was up and I was physically exhausted and living on only 1 1/2 hrs of sleep. The house was awake and buzzing by this time....not to mention stinking. At 9 Brad finally took over and I headed back to bed and was able to sleep for awhile. It hit Aubrey next but she has got to be the greatest sick kid ever. She is the trooper of them all and just deals with it. With barely any complaining at all she made her way to the toilet and was able to not ever even make a mess during her ordeal. I did have to bathe her and get her all cleaned up but overall it was rather painless. Next were Garrison and Grant. They seemed to have a little less degree of it than everybody else had but it still generated many many sheets and clothes to be washed. And then next up was Grayson. Through all of this I have discovered that stomach viruses are a little like labor.....they usually occur at night in the wee hours of the morning. And so it was that Grayson's hit as everyone was going to bed, just as Garrett's and Aubrey's had hit. Fun. By the end of it it really hadn't seemed that bad and actually somewhat mild compared to what it could've been.......all up until I got it. Mine hit the next night just as we headed to bed and continued on all throughout the night. Anyone who has never nursed a newborn baby while trying to survive a stomach virus has not missed out on much. It takes a will made of steel to get through that and pull yourself far enough above it all to focus and go feed your baby in between trips to the nearest bathroom. I"d be good if I never experienced that one again. I didn't fall asleep until 5 that next morning. We woke to Gavin's already sensitive stomach finally refusing any and all cow's milk. He had seemed to be completely over the virus and completely healed but when we finally got him back on his bottle his stomach finally revolted against all dairy. He has been having some major issues with it now for a few weeks. This seemed to have sent him over the edge. I was a bit weak, exhausted and dehydrated by this point so Brad was left to deal with the mounds and mounds and mounds of poo that had filled up his bed and everything else. Since Brad has never been known for his ability to deal with poop related issues this obviously kind of sent him over the edge. He wasn't faring too well on his end in having to wade through the mess and nursing home funk. I helped him deal with it as much as I could and then I was able to sleep for the rest of the morning. Gavin continued to have severe stomach issues and work it out of his system up until yesterday. Yesterday pretty much consisted of him waking in yet another massive mess that was spread everywhere, stripping his bed, bathing him while he cried and cried and cried, to redressing him in yet another pair of clean pj's, lotioning him up, rocking him, laying him down and then starting all over again. This morning we finally seemed to have hit the turning point where everything had worked through his system and there was no milk left for his body to reject. After surviving both the stomach virus and then his body's absolute rejection of the milk he had lost about 2 pds and was again growing thin and becoming feathery light. It seems we had just been through this with him only 5 mere weeks ago when he had begun puking all week that week due to his ear infection. So to see him lose weight so quickly yet again only 5 wks later was depressing to say the least. But this morning he woke with a hearty appetite and a thirst that could seemingly not be quenched. He has eaten non stop all day today and since all dairy has now been cut out of his diet his day was substantially better. Both ends held in everything and his appetite was insatiable. So, things are looking up.

In the midst of all of this holiday chaos we somehow put the tree up somewhere in there. It has yet to be decorated but the gentle twinkle of the colored lights reflected in the glass door at night is enough to welcome in Christmas and the season. Our goal tomorrow is to see if we can get it decorated....that is, if nobody sees fit to puke on it.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Getting Caught Back Up


Attempting a spontaneous group shot after a long day spent in outside play

Well...here it is. It's been 2 wks, I think almost 3, since I last put anything on here. It's not like I've had anything else to do, I suppose. It's funny how the days after a baby's arrival seem to be swept up in a whirlwind of activity and a blurry haze of active days and sleepless nights that seem to all run together at times. And here I sit now on this 1st day of December watching the cold wind bend the trees low outside the window. I sit trying to motivate myself to accomplish the tasks at hand yet wanting nothing more than to be here in the quiet of the day with a hot cup of tea steaming beside me as I write. Down the hallway I hear a certain little 16 month old boy calling for "Mama" but still quite content to play in his crib for awhile longer, so I savor the moment. Dishes clang in the kitchen as an 8 yr old chips away at what remains of lunch duties but, other than those sweet noises, the house is serenely quiet as children sleep on this cold, wind swept day.

It's Ivye's 3 wk birthday today. Again it is just astonishing to me to look up and realize she is already this old. It seems as though she should be but just 3 days old. I welcome this part of it though as her nights grow longer and longer and feedings grow fewer and fewer in those dark wee hours of the morning. I can't say that I have ever been one of those mothers that cherishes those sinfully early morning hour feedings. I'm sure at some point in life I'll look back and wonder why I didn't cherish them more and realize how quiet and still the night was and how sweet those mother/baby alone times were. But as of now, in the days of my youth and mothering many children, I have come to rate sleep high on the priority list. Feeding newborn infants in the wicked hours of the morning is a joy but it is always one that I am glad to see come to an end as they eventually taper off to one feeding during those dark hours instead of the 6 or 8 or 10 that they start out with.

Discussing the new object in the swing

So, exactly one week after her arrival Brad and I took Grayson, Evye and Ivye with us to grocery shop before the others returned. I can honestly say that this is by far the earliest we have ever gotten a baby out before but I was ready to get out and walk around. Brad is still amazed after each and every birth over the difference of the recoup time between the hospital births vs the home births. He has been stunned over how it would seem to take 2-3 wks for me to get somewhat back to normal after a hospital birth but with each homebirth I am back to my old self after only a few days......usually only 2 in bed, which I know should be a little longer but I'm just not a bed type of person. So, we hit the road to town and had lunch out and then shopped with her securely tucked in her wrap, away from the world's curious eyes and roaming hands that seem to just assume they can just so freely touch a newborn baby. Though the one sweet little granny at Sam's that is always in awe of the children everytime we go in was allowed a peek....and somehow I just didn't mind when she softly caressed Ivye's velvety soft skin and this look of long ago days passed across her face.


Big baby....little baby

So, Mother returned the children and stayed with us for almost an entire week. She spent her time just helping around with what she could and keeping the house in order as it returned to some state of normalcy and routine. Everything had run really smoothly since we had Grayson and Evye here so there wasn't really much to be done. She kept up the wash to give Evye a break and helped them with the dishes, but more than anything, I just enjoyed having her company here. 2 days shy of Ivye's 2 wk birthday we all headed to Nanny and Pawpaw's to spend the day there and let them get their 1st glimpses of the newest tiny addition. Since Mother was still here she went with us. She took the children and spent most of the day out combing the grounds for autumn treasures. Eventually Brad and I made our way outside and spent much of the afternoon leisurely walking all over the land with the little ones in tow. We returned home late that night and when Monday rolled around Thanksgiving week was already upon us. We spent that week cooking and getting everything in order, so though I had every intention of doing school that week it somehow got lost in all of the preparation for the upcoming holiday. Mother and Thomas spent Thanksgiving day with us and left late that night to return home. All of Brad's family came in on Friday and we had Thanksgiving all over again with them...which the children all loved. Nothing like gorging yourself 2 entire days in a row. Brad's 1st shift back since Ivye's arrival was Saturday so after family made their way back home on Friday he found his way back to work on Sat. The children and I spent the weekend pulling the house back together and were back to the hitting the school books today, which brings us up to date and to the present tense.

Loving on Ivye (after this shot he lovingly and unceremoniously dumped her off)





Having fun at Nanny and Pawpaw's

On the road





Going to explore...Ivye was inside sleeping and Grayson and Evye were at the pond with Mother so we ended up with this crew of 5









Jumping the hay bales





Heading towards the barns
A far off view of the VERY friendly mules


Headed towards the river...I love this pic


Just a few of the mules

Trying for a few pics

And another one wants to say "cheese"

And what you inevitably get with 3 constantly moving boys...these are just 2 of the many funny ones we ended up with




Still chipping away at the swingset





Out shooting on Thanksgiving



Loving on Granny



So it's a little blurry as I experimented with the camera but you get the general idea

Thomas and much loved Granny (my mom)



Sweet Beautiful Babies

Our litte Ivye girl

Garrett with his huge blue eyes

Sweet Garrison

Grant - our little red head



Still the best bed buddies



The "triplets"......or the inseparable pair and the spare
No....this was not Benadryl induced! This is what happens when everybody helps Daddy in his building of the swingset endeavors




And more join the early evening movie while they wait on dinner....doesn't seem to bother Garrett too much though


Aubrey and I



Her REALLY big baby - Evye and Gavin



A moment in time






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