Finding a Rhythm

Ivye and I.....how we spend our slow afternoons before the others return

As we welcome each and every new little addition it is always a matter of finding a new routine..figuring out who exactly this new little person is and trying to adjust in those first few days. Having not really ever had any alone time for recouping it is a great change having some time without the little ones here to accomplish this bonding and discover sweet Ivye....who she is and what she is like, though I have known her now for 40 wks. It is amazing to me to see her move now and be able to identify the parts I felt moving within me. As she squirms in her sleep I see her knee, the same little tiny knee, that would protrude in an alien type of fashion pushing and extending my stomach in all sorts of strange contortions. I see her stretch and lift her arm above her head and extend one little leg and know which parts of her were pushing, prodding and poking me all these months. Brad and I sit and marvel at her at night.......her perfectly rounded head covered in dark hair, her chubby rosy little cheeks and her lips so sweetly puckered, her tiny wrinkled little fingers, her pinky toe nail shorter than even a grain of rice, her wrist that is as big around as Brad's entire thumb.....and we stand in awe that this tiny perfectly formed being was inside only days ago and could still so easily be inside right now, still fitting within perfectly. As we gazed at her last night Brad said that it is absolutely amazing that this perfect tiny person could be so fully formed in just 9 short months To think that only 9 months ago she was smaller than a grain of sand is overwhelming to me.....something I see with my very own eyes but that I know I will never completely understand. To think that a horse and a donkey are pregnant for 12 months and that just a horse or just a donkey emerge and then to know that in only 9 months this perfect human being goes from something the human eye cannot even see, from seeming nothingness, to this baby I now cradle in my arms creates, no.......commands, an awe and respect for the Lord that nothing in life can ever rival.

I stare at her and cannot help but wonder who she is and who she will become. I lay in the quiet bed and my mind floats effortlessly over each of our other children, who they have become and are still becoming, who they are as individuals. I think of holding newborn Gavin only 16 short months ago and how he has grown. I think of what Ivye will be just 12 months from the day she was born. This time to smell her newborn skin and feel its velvety softness, hear her newborn cries and sounds, to watch her sleep bundled up peacefully while she nurses is so fleeting, so small a window in time...in all of our lives. It is a mere blink in time, in the overall span of our days here. Oh, how I treasure these days....these sweet fleeting hours spent holding the sweet innocence of her newborn body. I marvel as I think of our other children at their different stages in life. Grayson's boyishness changing as he grows in maturity, as his responsibilities change from those of a boy to those of an older child...not quite a man but not quite the little boy he always has been to me. I see Evye at her 8 years desiring to live out this dream she sees me living in her eyes. I see her innate desire to cuddle and mother tiny Ivye as she hovers over her and carries her everywhere with her...sitting and holding her patiently taking in her every detail, marveling over it as Brad and I have. I think of Aubrey and her funny little self. How big and independent she is, yet just as little as Ivye only 5 short years ago. I see her talk and reason, run and play and it only reminds me how fast time ticks by. I think of the little boys and am reminded how exceedingly blessed we are as a family to once again be experiencing a newborn. How they have all grown and how funny they all are at their different stages and ages, knowing that Ivye follows not so very far behind them all.






To watch Grayson, this stout hearted, zealous, rough and tumble, rowdy 10 year old, who was crushed and near tears at the sonogram that revealed Ivye's gender now melt into a puddle of gentleness as he holds her is part of this amazing journey. To see him caress her little tiny fingers as they wrap around his much larger, rough, calloused one is an amazing thing for my mother's heart. His face softens as he gently and quietly says over her sleeping body, "Mom, do you see how tiny her fingernails are? Have you felt her skin?" as he then kisses her forehead so gently that I'm not even sure his lips ever make contact with her head. "Did you see how dark her eyes are, Mom? I think they might end up being brown like Aubrey's. Did you see that, Mom?! I think she smiled at me." I look down into his arms to see a newborn grin parting her lips in her sleep. I smile, "I think she did." I love how God uses a newborn to soften the rough edges and bring a gentleness to the home that didn't seem to exist before. I love how God renews the love for other siblings through the birth of a tiny new one.





Though Grayson and Evye have been busy keeping the house up and helping Brad with his labor of love for them all they still have discovered the hole in their hearts when the little ones are not here. It was only the 2nd day into their absence when both were proclaiming, "Mom, I know I gripe alot about all of the work but I really really miss everybody. And I'm kinda really bored." By this morning Grayson was laughingly talking about the funny antics of Garrison and Grant and began listing out everything he misses about them all. He talked of how he misses Garrison following him around wanting to do everything just like him and Grant coming and asking for his help or wanting his company while they ride or jump and Garrett's funny little sentences or listening to him holler Grayson's name as he looks for him. They are definitely missed by all of us. It's now a countdown of the days until their return on Tuesday.




In this quiet time I have had without the little ones I have had time to focus on just Ivye and establishing a routine. And slowly but surely we are indeed finding our own little rhythm. The 1st night after returning home from our FW travels was rough going, as it seems to always be with a newborn as they adjust to life outside and their little stomachs learn what it is to digest milk. But as the days and nights have worn on we have found our own little routine. It helped tremendously and relaxed me quiet a bit to know that a few long nights would not be a big deal since there would be no young children waking at 7:30 am needing anything. So, I have nursed her at night when needed and worked during the day to establish a good relaxed 3 hr eating pattern. Last night we were greatly rewarded by the fact that she slept from 2:30 am until 6:45 this morning. A small milestone since she had been nursing every 2 hrs during the first few nights. Slowly, life is returning back to normal, or as normal as is possible with a newborn baby. She loves being close....the same kind of cuddle bug that adores touch like both Garrett and Gavin. Yesterday as Brad and the children worked on the swingset I finally tried out the sleepywrap with her and it was immediate love. I am forever grateful to my cousin who introduced me to that thing. My 1st thought was wishing I had had one for all of the other babies we have had. I couldn't stand staying in the house one more day so as the wind speeds picked up and the winds changed from the south to the north I bundled her up against me, wrapped her up in the wrap and headed outside to hang out for a little while with her warm and cozy as she slept against me. It was better than any sling I have tried. So, there she stayed the rest of the day sleeping peacefully and securely against me.


"Daddy's Labor of Love"



I think it is a bit ironic how the more we have the harder I find it to put them down. You would think after 7 before her that at some point this would become old hat and the desire to have her with me everywhere would fade. But I have found it quite the opposite and discovered that with each one the love of being with them, holding them, caring for them and having them right there with me only deepens. The joy of holding them close and being able to wrap them onto me has only been intensified. Do I fear them being spoiled and having separation anxiety issues? No. I have had the joy of seeing how our older are turning out and the fact that they are entirely well behaved polite children with manners that are not inhibited at all as they interact in life. We can take them anywhere.....well, on most days.......and trust that they will indeed behave and not be an embarrassment to us......like I said, on good days that is. In fact, we know now that not only are they not embarrassments to us but blessings to us that bring glory to the Lord when we go out. They are children that are being taught a deep honor and respect for authority and manners....not the mama's boy, shy and introverted child or fit throwing, tantrum oriented kid that people fear will come from keeping your children close to you from infancy on up until they are as old as Grayson and older. I love all of them being close, from Ivye in her little wrap snuggled warmly against my chest to Grayson and using every minute as a training ground for his entire life before him. Using each and everything...whether he ever realizes it or not.....as training for what he will be as a man, shaping his behaviours and attitudes, both positive and negative, all the way down to his sharing in his day to day interests and hobbies, using this window in time to build life skills and work on projects that he and Brad are free to work on together.

Building together




I don't think I've ever been more in love with life and truly aware of how blessed we are. I cradle her in my arms and lay my cheek on her soft downy little head, breathe in the smell of her newborn skin and I know there is no better place to be in life than right where I am at this very moment in time. I lay down at night and sleep next to the man I am desperately in love with, the one I never want to live without, the one who still takes my breath away by his absolute love and adoration for me. The same man that makes my heart skip a beat every time I see him. And I have been given for some unknown reason 8 absolutely beautiful children...one of which sleeps sweetly behind me, tiny and perfect in every way.

The part still remaining

Our Little Early Bird Arrived!!!!!

Welcome to the family sweet Ivye Elise!!!!

She shocked us all by coming a full 5 days early with a head full of very dark hair!!! Our very 1st dark headed baby. I wasn't planning on a baby until around the 20th but the Lord definitely had other plans and gave her a birthday of November 10th.

I noticed some changes lending themselves toward imminent labor sometime Saturday afternoon. Even with the changes taking place I knew I still could very well go, at the very least, until Friday and maybe even make it into next week. Contractions were hard but VERY far apart so we continued on with the day. Brad and the children worked on the swingset while I sat in the lawn chair watching all of the activity on this gorgeous fall day. We eventually got all of the children into bed and Brad and I settled in for the night. Contractions continued throughout the night but continued to remain entirely inconsistent and spread apart. Nothing worthy of note.......just uncomfortable. It was a rather sleepless night and by Sunday morning there was nothing much of anything going on. They continued working on the swingset and I napped. The contractions were getting harder but still an hour apart. We finally decided that I should just take the children with me and head to Fort Worth since this was obviously not going away.....though it definitely wasn't going anywhere fast either. But by the time we got finished loading and finishing up details........I needed a shower and wanted makeup on, the laundry needed to be tended to, all of the animals needed to be topped off before we left, a few dishes had been used since lunch that needed to be done, etc.........contractions were very hard but still very far apart. Though when I did have them they were enough to need to stand still for and I didn't exactly feel like having a conversation through them. With that Brad asked me if I wanted him to go with us.........and I did. I hate leaving him behind and I hate doing this on my own without him. So, he hurriedly threw his stuff together, showered and and had to run into town for bank stuff. The children and I went ahead and hit the road with him falling in about an hour later somewhere on the dark road behind us. We pulled into FW about 11pm and dropped the sleeping children off at Mother's. I climbed in with him and we made our way the rest of the way to Denton, arriving there around midnight. Evaluation was that I was definitely in early labor but instead of trying to get things stirred up as long as they were still spread apart to go ahead and try to get a night's worth of sleep. Disappointing but welcome news since I was desperately tired by this point. We slept and everything all but went away. The next morning's evaluation was that I had made little to no progress and this could go on for days. True labor? Maybe. Early labor? Ummm.........possible. And I could be in early labor like this for as long as a week. So, over a long breakfast and the drive back to Mother's the debate began on whether for Brad to return home and work the last 1/2 of his shift or just stay and wait it out with me. With there not being an overly large amount of room for the entire family to camp at Mother's and with contractions still every hour or so we both felt at peace with him returning home. Neither of us wanted to spend a fortune on hotel nights waiting for this to go somewhere and the animals needed to be tended to. So, it was that he dropped me off at Mother's and loved the children and set off on his journey to return home........with the promise of returning to us in only a matter of days for the arrival of Ivye. It was a bit depressing saying goodbye to him and I was already overly emotional and tired. I took Aubrey, Garrett and Gavin and laid down with them for a long afternoon nap while Mother took the other's and did some grocery shopping and errands. After a long 3 hr nap I woke up to some more hard but inconsistent contractions. A lot more of the same. I finally decided a shower would work and probably help them to die off since it usually relaxed everything and was enough to change the pace of everything to get my body to settle down. By 5 pm and several really hard contractions in the shower I guess I finally began to realize this was really going somewhere and that they were growing closer together. I called Brad and after we both debated on it for a long while I told him I really felt like he shouldn't go in........but that to turn right back around and come back was absolutely insane. He'd JUST gotten home! I had a contraction while we were on the phone and it was enough to convince him to turn around yet again and head back to FW. The absurdity of it was growing a little more ridiculous, not to mention humorous, as this story unfolded. All I could obsess on was the gas money now involved, all of the money we had spent on the road and on the hotel the night before and the fact he got home just long enough to throw a bail of hay out in the pasture and feed the dog and the growing collection of cats we have going now. Flying by the seat of our pants and spontaneous doesn't even begin to come close to describing this little scenario. And I was feeling horribly guilty for not being able to know what was going on with my body and feeling like we had just spent a ton of money. Given the fact that I am a planner.....though I do fairly well with some forms of spontaneity......this was not going according to plan at all, and I was growing increasingly irritated with that fact.

By the time I was out of the shower and dressed I told Mother we indeed needed to head over to the midwife's pretty quick. By this time the worst torrential downpour in probably 4 months had hit the FW area. Hard rain hammered the windows like bullets while lightening and thunder rocketed through the skies. Grayson and Evye got everybody loaded and Mother and I with all of the children set off bound for the the little birthing home. During the drive there weaving our way through a wreck and the Amazon downpour contractions once again spread way apart. I guess the deterrence was enough to get my mind off of everything and once again postpone labor. They waited to see if I'd made any progress and I was grateful to hear the report of now being 7 cm. Now just to get Brad there in time. Mother left to return back to her house with the children and I was left at the little birthing home to wait for Brad to arrive. Contractions at this point were now back to being 30 minutes to an hour apart. I was fine with that since I knew it would give him time to arrive and that this was making labor actually very pleasant and rather painless. To hurt for only 45 seconds and then have an hour break was pretty surreal and somewhat enjoyable. AS time passed though I began to get a little more mad....mad at the fact that all of this whole labor and delivery plan was as far as we could possibly get from everything I had envisioned and dreamed of for it. The huge glamorous birthing suite was taken by another laboring mom which meant the birthing tub was yet again out of my reach for this delivery. There the wicked hussy lay in her dreamy little watery birth world while I lay on the same bed I delivered Garrett on....dry as a bone and no water in site.....away from the sheer flowing chiffon canopy that was supposed to make every dream in life come true. And not only did I lay on the bed minus the oceanic epidural that I was promised but Brad was hundreds of miles away. I couldn't even go sit on the porch swing while I waited for him due to the artic front blowing through dipping down into the 50's and Hurricane Ike that seemed to be accompanying the swirling thunderstorm that was electrifying the world outside. I had dreamed of a beautiful fall day surrounded by orange, red and yellow trees as we sat on the swing on the breezy day working through labor together. And then I had envisioned climbing into the huge birthing tub when things got hard and finishing it out there in peace and serenity with only minor pain. But here I was now stuck on a bed in a rainstorm without him and the tub as far away a possibility as one could get.....not to mention that the wicked devil woman laying serenely in the dreamy birth bed hogging the tub managed to peacefully and quietly deliver her baby after only an hour after she arrived at the birthing home. The far away cry of a newborn rung through the home as I lay there in my growing self pity. So......I just got madder. And everytime I talked to Brad he was fighting the same storm system I was listening to outside and he was always farther away than what I imagined when he would give a progress report as to his location. After 2 hrs of laying there and only 3 contractions things started to pick up without warning and suddenly I was in the throws of labor without him. I called him to tell him I didn't think he was going to make it and just to hurry...which was a bit repetitive at this point and really very fruitless since he was doing 90 and 95 to get there......through the torrential rain. He finally arrived when things were starting to get really really hard and all anger dissipated at just having him finally beside me. We found out at that point I was an 8. A whole centimeter in 2 hrs. It was disturbing to say the least....but then again I think my body just held on and wouldn't ever let go until he arrived. After surviving sheer torture through 4 or so contractions I finally gave in and let her break my water. Almost immediately everything kicked into high gear and we were ready to have a baby. I never make labor look glamorous by any stretch of the imagination and it was, as always.......really tough, hard work. But I couldn't imagine ever doing it without Brad there and I held onto him for dear life. After a seemingly infinite amount of time spent in misery, when in reality it was only about 3-5 minutes and 2 pushes later, we held our newest little member to the family.

She weighed in at 8'2 and is 20 inches long....and a full 5 days early. The 1st baby that has ever spontaneously arrived before her due date. It was a fun, albeit very unplanned for, surprise. Since I had never rehearsed this scenario in my mind it still managed to catch me off guard and wreak havoc on the plans we had made. It seemed a bit empty when we left for home since it felt like nothing had really happened the way it should have. Kind of funny now looking back on it all. She arrived at about 10:30 or so and after staying and recouping and then getting cleaned up Brad and I left the little birthing home for a very peaceful much needed night's sleep at the same hotel we had slept in the very night before. We both slept late, had a huge incredible breakfast and headed back to have her "24" hr assessment done...which was really more like 15 hr assessment. Once everybody was given a perfect bill of health we headed back to Mother's to pick up Grayson and Evye and show everyone their Baby Ivye.....or according to Garrett, his "Baby I-thee". They all got to take turns holding her before Brad and I set off into the sunset with Grayson, Evye and now our sweet Ivye in tow. For Brad this was making the trip down this same stretch of highway for the 4th time in less than 24 hrs. I think that beats every commuting record he had going. But this was by far the most fulfilling, rewarding, gratifying trip he had made yet.

So, he we are at home with the younger 5 camped out with Mother until the end of the week. She'll drive them back home and stay for a few days sometime this weekend while I try and focus on staying in bed and NOT doing anything else. It will hopefully enable me to hit the routine and get back into a schedule when they return. So, here we sit still 3 days before my due date holding a sweet new baby girl. What a welcome surprise!

The Sweet Slow Days of Autumn

I used to be overly partial to the sweet smelling days of spring.....the smells of tiny new blades of grass emerging under the carpet of brown, dormant, dead ground cover. The cool spring breezes, the colors that start to abound and come alive after a season of long dry nothingness. But as I grow older, and I suppose a little more sentimental with age and the passing of time, I have come to discover that each year as fall approaches I am once again enchanted with this amazing change in life. The smells of spicy apples cooked in all sorts of autumn concoctions, nutmeg, cinnamon, pumpkin, sweet potatoes, fires burning within neighboring fireplaces, bright yellow falling leaves, the sounds of them crunching underfoot, the trampoline blanketed in the oranges, browns and yellows of leaves that have been collected by many small hands, piled into mountains of jumping fun and bliss. The sight of tons of children in a downpour of fall colors as they jump and laugh, their choruses happily ringing through the open windows. Pieces of leaves and tiny brown twigs fall haphazardly in their hair like angelic autumn halos, seeming to complete the scene that encompasses everything about this season. I love this time of year. I love the crisp days after the long hot dry summers. I love what it is to wake up in the early morning and fix a steaming cup of coffee and listen to our now crowing rooster.....the one and only rooster still remaining from the 4 we started with. I love what it is to see the children emerge from their room one by one in their warm, fuzzy pajamas, sleepy squinted eyes and sleepy little grins as they come out to greet a new day and be held for a few minutes before the dump of energy and adrenaline set in over the joy of a new day dawning. Reminders of the season sit all around me as they unintentionally and very simply decorate our counter tops, dressers and even walls. I suddenly see the world through the eyes of my children, the eyes that stand in constant seasonal wonder at the creations of their Creator. Little glass jars that stand filled with colorful chicken feathers, the beautiful black and white shed feathers of a bird on its way south, crispy yellow, orange and brown leaves, brown acorns, rough and jagged rocks that stand in contrast against the smooth and shiny ones by their side, as they somehow in some way mesmerized children and filled them with enough wonder to be found worthy of note. Even an old pocket watch top that must be no less than 80 years old that was unearthed in their digging expeditions as they search for beauty and wonder in every crack and crevice of the earth on these beautiful days. And once again I realize how good life is. I look out and see children scaling gates and fences running freely, a red bucket hung from a high tree branch hanging in stark contrast to the colorful leaves that surround it, cats cradled in the laps of loving little caregivers perched on our front porch, swings gliding freely high within the air as older ones push younger ones......despite the fact that more than a few have come in with whelps, bruises and bumps from slamming into the towering, unmoving object from which the swings dangle!

And on that note........this week has been full of bumps and bruises. It started with Garrett getting in the way of the flying rock expertly pitched by Grant. He now has a bruised black and purple eye. Only one day later Garrison and Grant were wrestling in the bed while they were supposed to be napping and hit heads. Grant has a perfectly round purple knot on his forehead. For Garrison the force was enough to reinjure the incompletely healed spot on his head. It once again started gushing blood...this time worse than any of the times before. After 30 minutes of continuous bleeding and no signs of stopping, soaking through 2 layered paper towels and not even nearing a stopping point even with the aid of an ice pack we were forced to make a trip to the station...which then ended in a trip to the ER. Brad drove the medic and we followed him up there. He went in with Garrison while I waited outside and talked with the guy he was riding with, enabling me to see the van but still be near in the event they caught a call. Once again Garrison's head was nitrated to see yet again if this one might take. Though it contained quite a bit more pain for sweet Garrison he still refrained from shedding even one tear and sat bravely up there enduring this for a 2nd time. This time around he did fess up after the fact, once safely back in the van, that it "hurt his head really bad when the Dr burned it with fire"........... not exactly fire but a silver nitrate stick. I'm sure to him it was feeling like an open flame. Having awakened Aubrey, Garrett and Gavin to go they had been hurriedly thrown into the van so that we could make the 30 mile trip into town as his head continued to bleed. So, once the ER trip was over we loaded back up and headed right back home. As we loaded and Brad loved everybody bye I went to shut the van door not realizing Aubrey's head was still sticking out of the corner of it. So, in the midst of our bumps and bruises her head got shut in the door not once but twice...since I had no clue what the obstruction happened to be and ingeniously tried to slam it again. So, at this point now Garrison has a HUGE bandage on his head from his ER trip, Garrett has a black eye, Grant is sporting a round purple knot on his forehead and Aubrey now has a black and purple bruise on each temple of her head. Ugh! Then somehow today just as Grant's knot is disappearing and Garrett's eye is a nice shade of yellow/green Evye and Aubrey managed to collide while swinging. Aubrey stood in front of the swing despite the millions of times they have been told not to stand in front of a moving swing. In the force of the collision Evye hit her hard enough to reinjure her temple and now it is REALLY black and blue. The force sent Evye flying sideways straight into the tree and gave her a purple swollen eye and a scratched up, scraped up arm. My gosh, people. I didn't know a week like this was really possible.......in which almost every kid looks as though they have survived a tornado. So...here we are sporting all sorts of bright colors around here.

In the midst of all of this taking place Gavin had his 1st MAJOR ear infection. Brad and I both assumed it was the fact he was cutting 4 molars at once so chalked the low grade fever up to teeth since there was no congestion, runny nose or anything else that even remotely spoke of being sick. After 4 days of low grade fever he began to puke and was obviously growing sicker by the day. By the 4th day into it he refused to eat, was dropping weight rapidly and now had stomach issues in which both diarrhea and puking were involved everytime he did attempt to eat....which was rare. We pulled the ear scope out, now realizing this was much more than a few teeth coming through. He had a raging ear infection in his right ear and his left ear housed some swelling and pinkyness to it. We had never caught an ear infection this late in the game since we always start all of the preventative stuff very early on as soon as any complaints come. I didn't hold out much hope of curing this on our own with stuff we have done in the past since he was so sick by this point. So, Brad called and made an appt for him to be seen the very next day. By this time he just laid in his highchair pathetically and stared at everybody with sunken, red rimmed eyes. He suddenly looked sick. He wouldn't walk and barely uttered any noise, just wanting to be held close for hours on end or left alone to sleep. I immediately started the Colloidal Silver and instead of just spraying it into his ears began dropping it in with a dropper and filling it his little ear canal up. It only took a few hours of sleep to notice a difference. When I went in to check on him before going to bed he was fever free for the 1st time since this had all started and without the aid of fever reducers. AND he was desperately wanting a bottle. He took it and actually held it down. When he awoke the next morning with an insatiable appetite I began mixing generous amounts of coconut oil in with a banana and some ground up oatmeal. He remained fever free on his own. Again, a small step of success in the now 5 day battle. It only took the night after that 1st round of Colloidal Silver for the turning point to hit and for him to fall back into his old rowdy and loud self. By the end of the next morning and 2 more rounds of Colloidal Silver in his ears he was running, hollering and interacting with everybody, chasing Garrett around and playing cars with his buddy. We canceled the appt and he is back to pretty much perfect, except for sleeping the last part of this off. He's eaten his amount in weight I am quite sure, making up for everything he hasn't eaten over the last week. The sunken, red rimmed eyes are gone and his gaunt little body is filling back out rapidly. I still stand amazed. Through a bunch of continual prayer on everybody's part and a little Colloidal Silver and coconut oil we actually watched a raging ear infection be cured without the use of antibiotics or any trips to the Dr. To have him go from not doing anything for 4 days to running around and playing happily with everybody is amazing to me. Although, I have to fess up that I kinda OD'd him on the coconut oil.....and beware.....when taken in high doses that one's body is not used to it can cause stomach upset. So.....as he began to get over all of this and I continued on with the high doses of coconut oil he managed to puke it all back up after having gone a full 24 hrs without puking at all. I think it's safe to say he's got plenty in his system now and it is definitely doing the job without needing anymore. In the midst of it all I just continued to pray for complete healing and that the Lord would stop this before it went around to everybody....both ear infection and potential stomach bug, if that's what it proved to be. Sick babies around due date time make it a bit hard to rest easy. But alas...no one else has gotten any of what he has had. Aubrey complained of double ear aches but they were easily fixed with a few rounds of the Colloidal Silver.......since we can catch her's way before they ever turn into anything major.

And so we spend our days living out life in this incredible autumn season.......bumps, bruises, fevers and all.....waiting for sweet Ivye's arrival, some days a little more patiently than others. I am quite content with her in there right now. It makes it much easier to take care of a sick puking baby when there are no sleepless nights due to a newborn on top of it all. So it is that I am happily content still being very largely pregnant..........though there are the days that come when I get a little ready to hurry things up a bit and just want the whole labor and delivery to be over with. But somehow I am still managing to wait pretty quietly. Now it's just the unknown of "when". I'd dearly love for it to be any night. Just the surprise of waking up to labor and knowing today is the day. The joy of being with Brad when it happens and not having to call him to FW and wait for him to arrive. But on the other side of it is that I am not severely uncomfortable and could easily carry this baby another 2 weeks and still be fine.

So we wait........as the children turn back into their normal skin shades and sick babies feel better and better with each passing day........as I embrace the season of smells and color. As I wake up in the early morning to drink my cup of pumpkin or peppermint coffee, eating pumpkin pancakes, seeking to hold onto everything that is dear and close to my heart as we make our way through another season of wonderment.

On a funny little side note..........we bought a little oil plug in air freshener for the children's room. It contained the scent of apple spice, which is pretty much just like apple pie. Each morning as the children awake and I kiss their little heads their tussled hair and pajamas smell amazingly like autumn apple pie. Makes for some sweet morning sugar.

With Heavy Heart

(Excerpt taken from Vision Forum and brings some comfort, solace and sense out of the change that has taken place with this new election)

Five Things Which Are No Different About This Election from All Other Presidential Elections in Our History..........



God is still on the throne.



The Scriptures are still the only rule of action for Christians.



The duty of believers at the ballot box is the same today as it has always been. We may only select leaders who meet the Scriptural requirements for civil magistrate. Leaders need not be perfect, but they must be qualified.



The obedient response of the elect of God to the Lord Jesus Christ and His law-word, not Muslim extremists, political activists, or the results of presidential elections, is the key to national blessing.



The results of the presidential election, regardless of who wins, will work together for the good of the elect of God




My heart is heavy and burdened, as I'm sure much of America's is..............or what is left of America that still desires to see the Biblical foundations and principles implemented with which it was founded on. If this has done nothing else it has proven once again how far America has fallen and proven that a nation that once drew close to the heart of God and depended on Him for everything has strayed from the God that used to be called upon by its forefathers in every decision and thought process. I do not live in fear but there is true concern for where we are now. Pray without ceasing. I'm still having a very hard time processing all of this. I have visions for my children and what God has laid on our hearts in order to raise them and it is safe to say that these freedoms are no longer shared by the US leaders. I do believe it is time for the intercessors to step up and pray diligently for where our country is headed. My hope is that maybe the change will be enough needed to rock America backs to its feet and pull it out of its apathetic state of handing over such major issues to the government. Even the church has grown increasingly apathetic and worry over being "politically correct" has overcome the tenaciousness of fighting for a Godly standard based on the beliefs that we all stand for. There is so much more than the economy at stake. It is the lives of my children...where they school, how we choose to handle their medical well being, the lives of millions of unborn babies that are perfectly capable of being adopted but instead have scissors stuck into the back of their heads before fully emerging at birth. It grieves me in every sense of the word that the US people have become so consumed with immediate and instant gratification and the "rights" of what we "deserve".......early abortions, partial birth abortions, gay marriages......after all, we are humans with rights to "choose". It is likened to me about like Sodom and Gomorrah. To see that he won with such an overwhelming vote is eye opening to say the least. America now reminds me of a spoiled rotten little child that has become ungrateful and forgetful of everything of its past. Accustomed to convenience, selfishness, self centeredness and rightful wayward wills that demand what they want when they want it at the expense of all else.

Of course, I am not opposed to a black man as president. In fact, I really wish Bootcamp Jay would run for president. It is awe inspiring to watch a man after God's own heart with the ability to get the job done and take control of a situation. I love that man. And it certainly was a historical moment made in all of history as we watched the 1st black president win by such a landslide. But oh how far we have fallen from the values that are held so dear and close to my heart............to every homeschooling, conservative, parenting heart out there that wishes to keep these traditional values and freedoms within the home.

My consolation, as it is every Christians out there at this point I am sure, is that God is indeed still on His throne and none of this has taken Him by surprise. During all of the evil rulership during Biblical times He still sat and governed and ruled His people and held them in the shadow of His wings..........protecting them. I pray that this will unite the church and bring them together to pray things into existence for this country that have never been seen before. I pray that the heart of Barak Obama would be changed by the authority he now holds and he would have an awakening by the Holy Spirit in which he would make changes unlike any other melancholy Christian president ever would. But that if his heart if hardened and God can work no change within him due to the human will and resistance, that the church would unite to bring change and rock the world unlike any other time in history....that they would once again stand up and fight for what is right and pure and good and true.

I do not fear man. I do not fear the loss of my homeschooling freedom. I do not fear what this man is capable of trying to pass as law onto our family, values and beliefs. I grieve the loss of little tiny souls that will never know life due to what people now consider our "rightful" choice....but I do not fear. For I belong to my God, a God that still sits on His throne, that still rules and reigns, that still cares for the people that seek Him with their whole heart. He cares for the next generation and seeks to create living stones for the heritage of His people to continue to live on until His return.

"And Christ will be ruling over his people with perfect supremacy no matter who is elected and no matter what government stands or falls. So we vote as though not voting."--John Piper

I John 2:17 "And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."

"And My people who are called by My Name will humble themselves, pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sins and will heal their land." II Chronicles 7:14 (NASB)

I read this on one of my homeschooling loops and it brought great peace, comfort and strength to my inner turmoil at the moment. I'm not sure who the author is but I thought it extremely well written and so close to my inner thought processes........those that so often tend to spin out of control at times.

Romans 13:11 - "Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God." (King James)

Romans 13:11 - "LET EVERY person be loyally subject to the governing (civil) authorities. For there is no authority except from God [by His permission, His sanction], and those that exist do so by God's appointment." (A) (Amplified)

Has every power that 'hath ever been' truly been ordained by God? That is a hard pill to swallow. I struggle with this verse. Yet somehow it brings me great peace at a time like this.If this means what it seems to mean, and the Bible usually does.....then we truly can have the 'Peace that surpasses all understanding' and rest knowing that God is taking care of this country.

I know that God will provide for and protect my family no matter what comes and no matter who our president is. I don't think that God is going to punish our country because of all the 'sinners'. I think he is going to bless it because of all the believers. And there are LOTS of us!

It just bothers me a bit to see Christians in fear and all freaked out and angry over this election. I don't think that either McCain nor Obama will save or ruin our country. If God be for us than who can be against us? Who? Not Obama...Not McCain...Not the devil himself! I think that as true Christian families- God has our backs! I know it is easy to get emotional with this election. But I have an election winning formula....pray, vote, pray more, and have peace and joy!

Also I wonder how does one 'strongly oppose and dislike a presidential candidate one day, and then be subject to him the next? And I know plenty of Christians who are "Set up against Obama"- If he wins...then what?

Romans 13:2 - "Therefore he who resists and sets himself up against the authorities resists what God has appointed and arranged [in divine order]. And those who resist will bring down judgment upon themselves [receiving the penalty due them]."

Am I concerned for the future of this country? Sometimes. Am I concerned for the future of my family? No. "Well aren't they related? You do live in this country don't you? How can that be? Well I am glad you asked! I happen to be a citizen of heaven (I am just here on a visa)...I know where my help comes from!

So be encouraged! In GOD we trust, whether it says it on our dollar bill or not, right? Find the peace and the joy and the victory that is yours in Christ Jesus- not in Bush, or McCain, or Baldwin, or Obama.

We fear NO MAN!
We fear NO GOVERNMENT!
We fear NO POLICIES!
We fear GOD ALONE!!!

May America be rocked back to its feet and closer to the heart of the God they have fallen so far away from.

The Lights of Home

November. It seems crazy that we are here....that the days are already growing chilly and the nights are already dark and cold. Despite the 80 degree days the past week has held we have had more than a few days that require jackets and have had children running in and out with cold rosy cheeks and wind chapped lips, red tipped noses and icy hands that, I am quite sure, are capable of freezing even Baby Ivye out of her warm home as they go to "hug" her. I find it hard to believe that Thanksgiving looms up on us once more, Christmas waits just around the corner and, even more incredibly, that I am here......already due......or well, mostly due. Now that the last FW trip is out of the way the next time we go will be to stay until we bring a sweet baby girl home with us. It seems a bit surreal. I finally feel settled and at peace with everything. This was by far one of the most enjoyable, peaceful trips we have had. I was able to round up and tie up the little things needing to be bought or tended to in order to be fully ready for her to arrive. I feel ready and at complete peace. The children call her by name and talk as though she is already here. Their excitement grows by the day and even Garrison and Grant are now cooing over everything pink, fluffy and even the slightest bit girly, proclaiming that it is for Baby Ivye. We were even able to spurge a bit and, in our searching the frugal world over and buying what we needed at Kid to Kid and Once Upon A Child, we got her some tiny little Christmas outfits that the children all begged to see her in. She is, after all, our very first tiny holiday baby. So far the closest we have gotten have been Garrison and Grant born in Sept, making them 3 months old by Christmas.

What I feel at this point is a supernatural peace only the Lord is capable of giving and one that I came to recognize fully during Gavin's labor and birth. It is something that transcends just being "ready". We LOVED this trip up there and the time we spent with Mother and Thomas and it creates a joy and excitement of returning to await her arrival. We all wait with excitement to days spent out in the great weather field tripping and nights spent in front of the warm fire with Grayson and Evye after the little ones are all asleep watching movies and popping popcorn. They look forward to it as much as I do. And it's always fun to spend time with Jackie and their crew and we parted on this trip with excitement over the week we will have together in only a matter of days, really.

I love this time in life. I love waiting for Ivye and the trips that we have gotten to take and the time spent with family that it has provided. I love the anticipation that it brings for everything to come. We are so blessed and I feel it in every fiber of my being. I see it and it is confirmed when we go out and are inundated with compliments on the behaviour and beauty of the children. I know it as we all sit down at a table out somewhere to eat and the children all sit, talk, eat and converse happily. I feel it when Mother and I go out shopping and I know we CAN shop with them and enjoy it all with them with us. I feel blessed that God has given us the finances to even be able to feed this many children at a restaurant. I see the gratitude in their eyes in which each of them are absolutely amazing about thanking both the Lord and the vessel that God poured through in order to buy them the meal. I KNOW how blessed we are and it brings me to my knees. I am in awe that we are where we are in life, that we have been given so much and that our children truly have become our greatest joy in life.

As I drove home today with all of them in tow and heard their happy chatter....happy for the most part, that is......tears streamed down my face that we can do what most people can't. I have the ability to travel with all of them alone because I trust them and I know that all of these years of training and diligence are finally being reaped. Happy, happy children, siblings that have friends within each other, that are flexible enough to do whatever is asked or required of them. With tears still within I saw the setting sun casting it's orange red hues on the Texas interstate that stretched for miles and miles beyond us. I watched it melt behind the looming hills, dissipating into every crack and crevice and filling the dimming world with colors that only God alone is capable of creating. Beside me and behind me sat the children as they talked and played, and we drove through the moment in time that encapsulated both heaven and earth. I knew what it was to be able to leave the big city behind and be going home to our own little corner of the world, to be driving home with 7 beautiful children to a place that I love and to a husband that I love more than anything else on earth...more than I ever imagined loving anybody at all, to one who desperately missed us and begged us to return home a day early and admits that he is nothing without us, to someone who loves me unfailingly and unconditionally. As we wound our way through the purples, pinks, reds, oranges, blues and yellows of the fading day it was like driving through a sheer colored curtain back into our tiny part of the world where the blessings abound. Suddenly it did not matter that overtime has not come in over a month and that the last paycheck was only barely able to tide us over until the next one. It did not matter that getting insurance for this birth has maxed out my stress limit to its utmost capacity. It did not matter that the playroom that frustrates me everytime I even let my thoughts turned towards it is still looking like a tornado blew through and could probably be declared as a disaster area by government standards. In these moments caught between heaven and earth I know that overtime does not provide for us but that every food item we have in our home, every light that is turned on and every ounce of water that is run is given by the grace and mercy of a Provider that far exceeds anything overtime will ever give. And because I know that the birth of this baby has been planned since the beginning of time and insurance problems do not catch God off guard but only give Him the ability to show Himself even greater through it. I know that He does provide for every aspect of these children that He gives us and for Brad and I who are faithful to trust Him for His provisions....despite how hard it may be at times to let go and just trust. And even the playroom, as trivial as it may be, does not matter because we are just blessed to have a playroom to go home to. 500 full square feet of space that is not even being utilized right now because, technically, we have no need for it at this point. To be in a place that we have been so overwhelmingly blessed that we do not even use all of what we have and to see that we indeed can grow and flourish right here in our little 3 bdrm 3 bathroom house....with obvious room to continue to spread out as needed. It's a blessing.

I love coming home. I love coming home to my own little piece of heaven. I love coming home to Brad and what we have in each other. I love the joy of the children as we travel and they shop, see and experience the city but the overwhelming joy that it brings them when we return home. The laughter and excitement as we pull into the driveway and the squeals as they bound out and go to greet all of the animals. I watched them pounce all over their beds tonight in their clean sweet smelling pajamas and heard their contagious laughter and there is nothing that even comes close to conveying my gratefulness for where we are....for where I am. To have come from where I have come from and to be where I am now is an amazing thing. To even be blessed enough to feel yet another tiny life move and stretch and kick within me is amazing. To see how many people struggle to have just one and to personally know so many that would love to have another but for whatever reason cannot or just haven't been able to is humbling. Here we are experiencing it all over again. There is an unsurpassed joy that comes from just watching the children alone anticipate this baby's arrival and to watch their ability to love grow that much more.

We are so blessed.