....to Nanny's and Pawpaw's we go. Why am I so deeply in love with this place, these beloved sweet people that have come into my life by marriage? There are no words for them. Maybe it is because they hold some of what I feel was lost when losing my own dear Grandpa at the tender age of only 11...my life, my world, my very being at the time. He was the reason I lived in those dark times as my own family fought through their struggles. There is something about beloved Nanny and Pawpaw that I grasp onto, embracing them in ways that I find hard to do with others. I am so often given to distancing myself from people, places and things but with these 2 I have come to love them in ways that I loved my own dear Grandpa. They are so much to Brad and I, the very heritage of our children, the living link to the past, the storytellers of life and happenings of a day and place in time we never saw and our children can only ever imagine. The love they have and that they show for our own children is unsurpassed. I love that our children will grow up knowing them and loving them, as my own great grandparents died before I was ever born. It is an opportunity and a love for them that I was never able to take part of.
I love the whole experience of going there. I love what they have become to us, the journey going and the days spent in their sweet company. The enthusiasm we are greeted with, the huge wrap around porches and breezy TX days as children ride and run around laughing and exploring all of life. Things that leave permanent imprints on the memory and heart. But always, there is a deep sadness and a sense of mourning when we leave. The uncertainty of knowing just how long they will be here to love and for our children to know. How many of our children will know them in ways to remember like Brad and I do? How many will grow up with the memories of their farm, their chickens, the big ole fishing tank, the 2 of them sitting in their recliners laughing at the chidren's antics and loving everything they do....every word, every move, every new accomplishment the little ones have mastered and marveling over how the older ones have grown? How many will remember the long, winding drive to their big old farm house and the hugs and kisses showered upon them upon arriving? I suppose it is a bit morbid to even ponder these things...missing them before they are ever gone. But I cannot help but think what life will be like once they are no longer here. I cannot help but fight off feelings of selfishness of longing for them to be with us infinitely, eternally here on earth, until we all can be welcomed into Heaven together, instead of knowing they await us when we get there. I cannot imagine life without them. I cannot imagine having to make the transition from having them here and knowing they are only a drive away to the seeming emptiness of life without them. What a joy they are to our family, to Brad, to me. What a legacy. I cannot imagine living through the stories that they tell. I cannot even begin to fathom the pain of losing not only 1 but 2 little girls, to live through the times they have seen, the hardships, leaving home at the age of only 12, enduring the financial issues they have had to overcome, the depression era their parents fought and what they fought so hard to not only change but make better. To have lived in a trailer moving from state to state, job to job, raising a baby, losing 2, and fighting to better your life and plow the way through. They are amazing to me. Words seem to fail so miserably when trying to convey the deep respect and the love that Brad and I both have for them. I am amazed at what they have given the generations that have come from them by standing strong and firm and forging ahead in their belief in a God that does deliver, no matter how staunch and formal their trust in Him was and, to some great extent, still very much is. I am grateful for the heritage they have given to us and to their many great grandchildren...even if I did come into the picture many years later than Brad entered into it. And once again I am filled with awe and such a deep love for them as they have brought me into the family, accepted me and loved me like I am one of their very own and embraced the many children that God has not only blessed Brad and I with but the great grandchildren He has blessed them with through us. I love that they know....really KNOW.....the blessings that they are and the heritage that they are to the family, the very blood and life of them being past on to a time and a place they will never see. God's plan for the family still continues to amaze me and this place that we are in life. We are in the very middle of having living links to to a past we never saw and can only be told about and having living links to a future that we will never see, as they continue to outlive us in the generations to come. What a marvelous thing it is to experience it all and be able to touch the past and the future all at one time in life. It is an amazing thing to me that through us God has given them the ability to see the part of them that will live on long after they are gone.
I love them so much and fight to not hold on so tightly that I forget what it is that God seeks to accomplish in our lives and the blessings bestowed upon us while they are here and the heritage the children will continue to be to them after they are gone. Maybe it is pregnancy that makes one ponder all the things that are deep and mortal and what is only temporarily here with us on earth. Maybe it's the just the ebb and tide of life as I realize the gifts that I have been given, and have come to treasure things that have been so freely given to me. Maybe it's just the female emotions as I love deeply and have known loss and have suffered through the many ups and downs that only come from living and experiencing life fully. Maybe its just the emotions that come from watching my own miraculous children play and walk and talk and develop into their very own persons...how different they each are, how funny each of them are with their own unique character and personalities, how much wonder and awe fill me...along with some occasional passing feelings of incompetency....that God has seen us trustworthy enough and capable enough through Him to raise all of these children. It inspires me that He is growing Brad and I into what He has every intention of us being in Him through this life He has given us. It is an incredible thing to know that we once again have been so freely given yet another life to welcome into our family...one that we have never met but that we already love so deeply. The fulfillment and contentment that we have in life right now is unsurpassed...knowing that we are exactly where the Lord wants us to be yet still growing more and more into the likeness of Him as we attempt to continue to live out the convictions He has placed upon on our hearts.....concerning faith, children, finances, relationships. There is a deep abiding inner fulfillment that comes from doing exactly what it is we have been called to do. For Brad that consists of staying here, continuing to work for a dept that he loves and the guys that he is so bonded with, being blessed enough to be the sole provider of our family and provide for all of our needs and when funds have fallen short watching God step in and intervene on our behalf, being the leader of our home and raising his children with a Godly heritage, teaching them to be all that they can be and to lean on our God who is everything they will ever need in life...their provision, their protection, their fulfillment, their purpose, their happiness, their healer, the very reason they are here. There is a deep abiding contentment that he has from being in this place in life that God has placed before him and doing the task at hand. And there are blessings that abound upon our little family due to following the principles and be willing to heed the Lord and walk where He has called us to walk..learning what He has had us learn these past many years and only growing because of it...despite our many setbacks and lapses back into our mortal selfish selves as we have screamed to be delivered, wallowed in pity, railed in anger over the "lot" we had been given in life and cried out through many many tears of despair and years of frustration. Both of us would do every bit of it all over again to be where we are now in life, to be at the very place we sit and continue to grow and be stretched in now new and different areas. I am so glad we were never abandoned and so blessed that God saw in us people that He could transform and make into something so beautiful....so much so that He continued to heat us in His furnace and painfully mold us into what we have become in Him....and yet still so far from what He desires us to be.
For me, the fulfillment comes from living out His calling placed on a woman's life by managing the home while Brad works and leads. I pray fervently that we can instill these same principles in our own sons and daughters in a world that so desperately flings around women's rights and compels women into the workforce. In a society that grows increasingly worse about demeaning men and their roles as the head of the home and being the sole provider for the family Brad and I seek to raise up the traditional values in our own children. It is our goal to teach them that what the world commands must be a 2 income family just by living standards alone that they can overcome this and they can live within their means so that they can live freely and contentedly in their roles the Lord has laid out for each of them. Our girls raising their own sons and daughters into the next God fearing generation that will carry on..staying home and tending to and nurturing their own sweet babies. And for our sons to go out and provide for their own brides and families, head up their home, and teach their children about Godly heritage and what God has been so faithful to do in our family. For me my contentment comes from teaching them to listen, heed the words of the Lord, and to tread carefully so that they never wander from where He wants them as I was so given to do.....to listen intently to what their purpose is in life whether it be missionaries, presidents, involved in government, or vessels God uses to heal the sick. I want to teach them about Him and how to be living, walking, breathing testimonies who live out their lives showing people how Gods mercy and grace is used to transform and save others by bringing them into His kingdom or establishing ministries to help those that are trying to desperately search out the heart of God and continue on in the journey they have already begun. My contentment and fulfillment comes from staying home raising them, figuring out that I can cloth diaper, make bread and sew and discovering the unexpected fulfillment that comes along with it. It is keeping house, managing our home, farming, gardening, kissing boo boo's, tending to needs, rocking sleepy babies and toddlers, being in awe of ugly bugs and geckos, being filled with laughter at the funny antics of a stupid dog, baby kittens, baby goats, marveling at growing seeds and the tiniest things that I have long sense forgotten to be in awe over. Teaching them about the world around them....the inventors and the missionaries that have gone before them, teaching them to make wise choices, and loving on them every minute knowing that God has given me the responsibility of teaching them and raising them to honor and fear Him.
I don't know why such deep thoughts today. Too much time on my hands, I suppose, as everyone is busy playing and napping. How his turned into adoration for Nanny and Pawpaw and ended up here I'm not really very sure. I read this in the comments of the blog "Joel's Journey" and it comes from one of the many books R.M. Ballantyne has written. It is my hope at some point to have our boys read all 70 of his great historical writings written for adventuresome boys, luring them into a part of history and real life historical heroes through action and adventure. It is quotes like these that inspire me to teach and raise them to their utmost potential and to see them grow to be great God fearing people, carrying on the legacy and heritage they have been given.
"Boys [should be] inured from childhood to trifling risks and slight dangers of every possible description, such as tumbling into ponds and off of trees, etc., in order to strengthen their nervous system... They ought to practice leaping off heights into deep water. They ought never to hesitate to cross a stream over a narrow unsafe plank for fear of a ducking. They ought never to decline to climb up a tree, to pull fruit merely because there is a possibility of their falling off and breaking their necks. I firmly believe that boys were intended to encounter all kinds of risks, in order to prepare them to meet and grapple with risks and dangers incident to man’s career with cool, cautious self-possession..." —R.M. Ballantyne, The Gorilla Hunters
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Home Again, Home Again
So........you know you've hit a turning point when you cannot wait to return home to get your sweet baby back into cloth diapers. That's a totally new one for me. The trip before this I kept him in cloth but with having to change him more frequently and being on the go as much as we were this time around I just bought some diapers for the 4 days we were there. And, my gosh...diapers cost a fortune!!! It's funny how fast you forget how much you were forking out only a few short months ago. Garrett goes much longer between changes so I don't notice it as much with him. But with Gavin going through disposables like he does it is like flushing money down the toilet. All I could think of was that it could be the poop and not the cash going down the toilet. I have gotten so used to our little routine of changing him, dumping his messes in the toilet and then washing that I have come to love it. Sounds strange and quite off I know...but it's true. And I love having him in cloth. I love the feeling that it gives me and I love how cozy and comfy and gentle they are on his little baby butt. Something came with cloth diapering that I never expected to. Now there's just a love for it and never going back. Not to mention being in awe of just how much we are saving. It really is phenominal in every aspect. It's safe to say I am in love.
And on the homegrown baby note....produce came in on Friday while we were gone. I was able to get sweet potatoes, pears, apples, bananas, a pineapple, nectarines, cherries, plums, a cantaloupe, strawberries and all sorts of other stuff. Garrett and the children have done nothing but eat fruit all day everyday. We cut out all the other snacks except for pretzels and have transitioned to fruit and veggies instead of even Nutrigrain bars. I'm working on our own homemade granola now, the next up in line to conquer. So far I've loved making the chewy granola bars but so far need to master the hard crunchy kind for their cereal in the mornings and to offer as snacks. I tried a new bread recipe today and had great success with it, after going through 4 other ones I didn't like and ended up throwing out midway through the process due to them not responding at all. The recipe tried today can be made into hamburger buns, hot dog buns and even pizza dough as well as traditional bread. I got it from one of the fellow homeschooling moms out here. THe loaf was still a little more dense than I would've liked but I think with work it'll shape up and do great. I'm eagerly wanting a Bosch and Vitamix for my birthday. I think the Bosch would greatly aid my bread efforts and the Vitamix has been a LONG time in coming. The Bosch will probably come off of Ebay but after really looking and studying for quite some time I think I want a new Vitamix and it is worth saving up for and asking for money for my birthday instead of anything else in order to aid the process and speed up the purchase of it. But despite the lack of the Vitamix we made a TON of baby food today. I boiled some of the pears from produce, some of the apples, and some of the nectarines and then pureed them in the mixer. They all did great. I did all kinds of concoctions with the apples and some pureed chicken, plums mixed with yogurt, nectarines mixed with bananas and oatmeal and anything else I could think of to come up with. I did pears and apples together and then just some pears by themselves to flavor his yogurt with. Oh...we got blueberries too so I did apples and blueberries and then just some diluted blueberries with their juice to flavor oatmeal and yogurt with. Oh...I also combined the nectarines with the plums. It made for some interesting combos but even the older ones were having fun taste testing and didn't have a problem trying out his foods when watching them being made with the real stuff and not mashed up old stuff bought in jars. They won't touch that stuff with a 10 foot pole. We even made pearsauce instead of applesauce for the little ones today. Of course, everyone ended up eating it. And...after it all, Gavin LOVED everything. We taste tested on him and after some strange and funny looks at some of the combos that differed greatly from the usual stuff I do he had a ton of fun with it all and ate everything we tried on him.
Evye and Grayson made more wet wipes today on their own. I've been hesitant to let them do it due to not wanting to put too much tea tree oil in it because of the cloth diapers. But after telling them only to add 3 drops they followed instructions well and did it all. And did you know that putting in a tsp of lemon juice in the fabric softener dispenser to be released in the rinse cycle will whiten your towels and make them smell lemony fresh??? I just figured that one out after reading some stuff on it. I was thoroughly impressed and now we are loving the lemon juice in our towels. And after cutting back our Snuggle use to 3 tsp per load instead of the cup full they recommend they still come out smelling wonderful and feeling soft but with 1/16 of the called for measurement. We have not bought Snuggle in months. Those are some of the many things we have done to not only improve life health wise but cut down drastically on our budget. I love figuring all of this stuff out and really implementing it all. I think my favorite still has to be the way the children are eating and having so much fun creating so many new baby food concoctions today. We have been making his food for a long while now but to have so many things to mash up, mix up and combine was just fun...not to mention feeling like I am giving him the world health wise.
We have even come so far in this journey that while the children and I were gone we stayed away from the fast food world of instant food that breaks down their immune systems. Knowing they would more than likely be in the nursery on Sunday night I was devoted to keeping them well. So, we ate Subway the few times we ate out..along with a trip to Rosa's thrown in there. In which all of that food may not be the best choice but is certainly healthier than the white breads and processed cheeses that are available at Sonic and such. Speaking of Mexican food and enchiladas...I made homemade corn tortilla enchiladas the other night before we left and they were sooo good. They were a bit bland so the children loved them but with some spice thrown in next time I think they should be incredible and still edible for the children. Brad loved them.
But we got to FW on Thurs and headed to Bible study that night. Friday was spent on the go doing my prenatal and then running errands of stuff I needed to get up there that can only be found up there for much cheaper prices. The boys broke their bedrail....they all took turns jumping off of it one too many times.....and new ones are just simply not worth paying full price for when used ones can be purchased for a fraction of the cost. So, we headed to Kid to Kid and Once Upon A Child and found one that suited the need perfectly. Friday night we were back over at Jackie and Curtis' for Curtis Wade's 13th birthday. Grayson, Evye and Aubrey all stayed for a slumber party that night. It was absolutely funny having only the 4 little boys all day Saturday. Mother and I spent the day out on the town and the comments were hysterical. Comments of "Poor you.....only boys, huh?" "They're so close in age!!!" and then the all time comment of the trip "Oh honey...why'd you keep going? Hoping for that girl, huh?" I was amazed that people so easily think that 4 is a large family now. But I was pleased by everyone's astounding stares while we ate and the comments that followed over how entirely well behaved 4 little boys can be. It's like when people see that many boys that age they just expect them to be an absolute walking demolition crew....not to say that they aren't at home. But when they all sat and ate and talked to each other good naturedly and then talked to everyone that addressed them people just stared. Gavin was all smiles and squeals to anyone and everyone that looked his way so he had his own fan club going, away from the attention they all drew together. I thought it was interesting too that some people now think that Garrison, Grant, Garrett and Gavin are 4, 3, 2 and 1 and some...most...still think the older 3 are triplets. It depends on how you look at them, I suppose.
So, Sat we all met back up at church to see Mercy baptised and I picked up the older 3 then. Sunday Thomas, Mother, the children and I all set out for church Sunday night at First Euless to hear Voddie Baucham. I was ecstatic he was there the very weekend we were. Talk about unplanned! Being as entirely formal as it is I went ahead and tried Garrett and Gavin out in the nursery, though I kept everybody else with us in the service. We met Jackie and Curtis and their crew there too and they kept their entire crew in with them. All of them did incredible...especially given the fact they had all of their dearly loved cousins by their sides that were ever so tempting to talk to and play with. They all sat and listened...as we have worked so hard at for a long while now. It was the first time Gavin had ever been left with anyone besides us. The nursery workers were in love and could not sing his praises enough. The 3 of them still could not believe he had never been left. I loved knowing that though our crew is so very close they are still as independent as ever and are secure enough to venture forth elsewhere. No one came home sick...which was a huge first for being in a nursery environment and not getting anything and the germies that go around. It was that reason alone I seriously contemplated keeping even the 2 of them in the service with me, as I always do here.
The service ended and we met up with Granny who happened to be there too. We all hung out at the ice cream social after it was over and then our entire clan of Granny, Mother and Thomas, Jackie and Curtis and their crew and the children and I all went to Rosa's for dinner. We closed them up at 11pm. It was so much fun just to sit and visit while the children played and ran around on the outside patio after the meal had ended. It was the perfect end to a fun trip. With plans to come back home on Monday morning I decided just to drive on back Sunday night. With the children fed and me loving the fact that we would not have to go through the breakfast routine and then do lunch on the road I packed everybody up and left the FW area at midnight. With full tummies and content little hearts having spent an entire weekend with cousins they slept all the way home. We got in about 3:15 in the morning. Brad was on the medic and was up all night anyway so we talked in between his calls the majority of the way home. And, of course, Evye cried her way to sleep over having to part with Milly and Mercy, which lasted at least 30 minutes into the beginning of the journey westward.
That pretty much sums up our weekend though. We returned home to find that 3 laminate floor installers wreak much more havoc on a bathroom that even 2 three years olds and a 2 year old. I think I seriously scrubbed laminate adhesive off of toilets for an hour per toilet. Then they went and freakin stood in one of the bathtubs! Who does that...and why???? There was a perfect dirty boot imprint in one of the tubs. I suppose if you have to get in there to maneuver around in the small space it might could be understood but at least clean up your mess. Good grief. To say that the house had been turned upside down is an understatement. I had gone so far as to scrub every bathroom squeaky clean before we left in order to give them fresh clean bathrooms to not only work in but use. Apparently it didn't really occur to them to return the favor. And I seriously think they were worse at hitting the commode then all of our boys combined. In fact...I think they were actually laying floors while they peed. At least that is what appeared to have happened based on what the commodes looked like. Sick, dude. I can manage cleaning up my own kids' pee and don't even think twice about it but cleaning up some strange foreign dudes' pee is just nasty in a whole new way. Ugh!
So, I came home and rearranged furniture back to restore order within and then cleaned and scrubbed and swept and mopped. Then wash took over. The children folded as the wash came out in an effort to get caught back up and back into our routine. I suppose nesting has kicked in earlier and earlier with each baby as I have moved from cleaning once we returned home to cooking today to dragging out all of the patterns and sewing projects I have to get to work on. I got my little sewing corner set up awhile back and all I lack is the fabric. I have pj's for the boys to make for their birthday and am making a matching full fitted sheet to go on their bed. Then I got some John Deere fleece to make them each a blanket out of. So, their pj's, sheets and blankets will all coordinate. Then I found an 1800's girls' gown pattern and still need some white cotton and lace to get started on those for the girls. I found some hot pink and green polka dot fabric for the girls to make pillow case dresses out of. One is hot pink dots on black with the reverse fabric for the capris of black dots on hot pink and then the other is neon green dots on black with the reverse for the capris of black dots on neon green. It is soo cute. I can hardly wait to get started on it. I need to make the pillowcases first before I can get started on the dresses. They're so entirely easy to do. But I still have to go get the fabric for that stuff. Not like I don't have anything else to do at this point.
And since arriving home we have added to our family greatly. Our 20 chicks are set to arrive on the 16th so we are almost prepared for them. And yesterday we were made aware that one of the other fellow council members have free kittens. The children were ecstatic and have been to their house more times than I can count since finding out this important piece of info. They finally were able to catch the owner's at home and asked if they might could buy 2. I had to laugh but thought it was great they didn't just go up to their door and say "Hey..may I have a free kitten?" They were each given a kitten and then told of the water guy and his wife that have even smaller kittens they are trying to find homes for. So...off they went in that direction. And of course, she and her grandkids rejoiced and made a huge deal over the fact that the last 2 had found a great home. So....somehow in 1 day we went from 1 cat to 5. We have our big black one we inherited with the house that is madly in love with our crew and now these 4 little kittens. Hopefully kittens and chicks get along. I guess we'll find out here in a few weeks. With Garrison and Grant well rehearsed on how to treat...or more importantly, how NOT to treat a kitten.....I think we are ready to attempt this feat once again. Upon being asked today if they will throw the kittens Garrison eagerly replied with a "No" with Grant grinning mischievously and saying in a heartfelt way the now well known fact that when he throws a kitten it goes to heaven. So, we shall see. Hopefully these kittens are given a chance to outlive the last one. The children pick up the bigger 2 tomorrow and the smaller ones will not be ready to retrieve until a week from Sat, given their still very young age. So far we have Cheeto, Poco (short for Pocahontas), Mercury and Zinc for names. We'll see if those are still their names tomorrow.
Alright...I think that gets me caught up on the latest. Our new camera now has battery issues since neither of us realized it only came with normal batteries and not a rechargeable one to put on the base. Kind of stupid. Anyway...now the batteries are more than dead and we have to get the dock friendly rechargeable kind tomorrow while in town.
Oh today...I caught Garrison killing the milled flour. While making bread and growing pretty frustrated with the failing recipes I looked over just in time to see him gleefully stabbing the bag with one of Brad's left out screw drivers. It was hard not to laugh. With each new forceful punch a wee bit of flour puffed through before just seeping out. I don't think I realized just how long he'd been at it. By the end of it I counted no less than 11 stab wounds to the flour bag. Needless to say, we had to find a new Ziploc for it. He thought it was quite the source of entertainment though. The sweet funny little grins just do me in. When I looked up he said enthusiastically with absolutely no remorse, "Mom! Watch this!" as he continued to pierce it as hard as humanly possible given a 3 year olds strength. He giggled everytime he retracted his weapon and a brown flour puff came through. And in the midst of my time spent in the kitchen Garrett managed to squirt out 1/4 of the Charlie's Soap concentrate surface cleaner on the very same floor Aubrey so expertly dumped the Pine Sol on not so terribly long ago. Why does soap make a floor sticky???? I still have to get to that. I just closed the door and saved that mess for tomorrow. But, he did get spanked for that one, as it is a well known fact that you do not mess with the cleaners.....no matter just how tempting the massive pump on the top of it is. But suffice it to say that the towels will be more than clean in the next towel load.
And on the homegrown baby note....produce came in on Friday while we were gone. I was able to get sweet potatoes, pears, apples, bananas, a pineapple, nectarines, cherries, plums, a cantaloupe, strawberries and all sorts of other stuff. Garrett and the children have done nothing but eat fruit all day everyday. We cut out all the other snacks except for pretzels and have transitioned to fruit and veggies instead of even Nutrigrain bars. I'm working on our own homemade granola now, the next up in line to conquer. So far I've loved making the chewy granola bars but so far need to master the hard crunchy kind for their cereal in the mornings and to offer as snacks. I tried a new bread recipe today and had great success with it, after going through 4 other ones I didn't like and ended up throwing out midway through the process due to them not responding at all. The recipe tried today can be made into hamburger buns, hot dog buns and even pizza dough as well as traditional bread. I got it from one of the fellow homeschooling moms out here. THe loaf was still a little more dense than I would've liked but I think with work it'll shape up and do great. I'm eagerly wanting a Bosch and Vitamix for my birthday. I think the Bosch would greatly aid my bread efforts and the Vitamix has been a LONG time in coming. The Bosch will probably come off of Ebay but after really looking and studying for quite some time I think I want a new Vitamix and it is worth saving up for and asking for money for my birthday instead of anything else in order to aid the process and speed up the purchase of it. But despite the lack of the Vitamix we made a TON of baby food today. I boiled some of the pears from produce, some of the apples, and some of the nectarines and then pureed them in the mixer. They all did great. I did all kinds of concoctions with the apples and some pureed chicken, plums mixed with yogurt, nectarines mixed with bananas and oatmeal and anything else I could think of to come up with. I did pears and apples together and then just some pears by themselves to flavor his yogurt with. Oh...we got blueberries too so I did apples and blueberries and then just some diluted blueberries with their juice to flavor oatmeal and yogurt with. Oh...I also combined the nectarines with the plums. It made for some interesting combos but even the older ones were having fun taste testing and didn't have a problem trying out his foods when watching them being made with the real stuff and not mashed up old stuff bought in jars. They won't touch that stuff with a 10 foot pole. We even made pearsauce instead of applesauce for the little ones today. Of course, everyone ended up eating it. And...after it all, Gavin LOVED everything. We taste tested on him and after some strange and funny looks at some of the combos that differed greatly from the usual stuff I do he had a ton of fun with it all and ate everything we tried on him.
Evye and Grayson made more wet wipes today on their own. I've been hesitant to let them do it due to not wanting to put too much tea tree oil in it because of the cloth diapers. But after telling them only to add 3 drops they followed instructions well and did it all. And did you know that putting in a tsp of lemon juice in the fabric softener dispenser to be released in the rinse cycle will whiten your towels and make them smell lemony fresh??? I just figured that one out after reading some stuff on it. I was thoroughly impressed and now we are loving the lemon juice in our towels. And after cutting back our Snuggle use to 3 tsp per load instead of the cup full they recommend they still come out smelling wonderful and feeling soft but with 1/16 of the called for measurement. We have not bought Snuggle in months. Those are some of the many things we have done to not only improve life health wise but cut down drastically on our budget. I love figuring all of this stuff out and really implementing it all. I think my favorite still has to be the way the children are eating and having so much fun creating so many new baby food concoctions today. We have been making his food for a long while now but to have so many things to mash up, mix up and combine was just fun...not to mention feeling like I am giving him the world health wise.
We have even come so far in this journey that while the children and I were gone we stayed away from the fast food world of instant food that breaks down their immune systems. Knowing they would more than likely be in the nursery on Sunday night I was devoted to keeping them well. So, we ate Subway the few times we ate out..along with a trip to Rosa's thrown in there. In which all of that food may not be the best choice but is certainly healthier than the white breads and processed cheeses that are available at Sonic and such. Speaking of Mexican food and enchiladas...I made homemade corn tortilla enchiladas the other night before we left and they were sooo good. They were a bit bland so the children loved them but with some spice thrown in next time I think they should be incredible and still edible for the children. Brad loved them.
But we got to FW on Thurs and headed to Bible study that night. Friday was spent on the go doing my prenatal and then running errands of stuff I needed to get up there that can only be found up there for much cheaper prices. The boys broke their bedrail....they all took turns jumping off of it one too many times.....and new ones are just simply not worth paying full price for when used ones can be purchased for a fraction of the cost. So, we headed to Kid to Kid and Once Upon A Child and found one that suited the need perfectly. Friday night we were back over at Jackie and Curtis' for Curtis Wade's 13th birthday. Grayson, Evye and Aubrey all stayed for a slumber party that night. It was absolutely funny having only the 4 little boys all day Saturday. Mother and I spent the day out on the town and the comments were hysterical. Comments of "Poor you.....only boys, huh?" "They're so close in age!!!" and then the all time comment of the trip "Oh honey...why'd you keep going? Hoping for that girl, huh?" I was amazed that people so easily think that 4 is a large family now. But I was pleased by everyone's astounding stares while we ate and the comments that followed over how entirely well behaved 4 little boys can be. It's like when people see that many boys that age they just expect them to be an absolute walking demolition crew....not to say that they aren't at home. But when they all sat and ate and talked to each other good naturedly and then talked to everyone that addressed them people just stared. Gavin was all smiles and squeals to anyone and everyone that looked his way so he had his own fan club going, away from the attention they all drew together. I thought it was interesting too that some people now think that Garrison, Grant, Garrett and Gavin are 4, 3, 2 and 1 and some...most...still think the older 3 are triplets. It depends on how you look at them, I suppose.
So, Sat we all met back up at church to see Mercy baptised and I picked up the older 3 then. Sunday Thomas, Mother, the children and I all set out for church Sunday night at First Euless to hear Voddie Baucham. I was ecstatic he was there the very weekend we were. Talk about unplanned! Being as entirely formal as it is I went ahead and tried Garrett and Gavin out in the nursery, though I kept everybody else with us in the service. We met Jackie and Curtis and their crew there too and they kept their entire crew in with them. All of them did incredible...especially given the fact they had all of their dearly loved cousins by their sides that were ever so tempting to talk to and play with. They all sat and listened...as we have worked so hard at for a long while now. It was the first time Gavin had ever been left with anyone besides us. The nursery workers were in love and could not sing his praises enough. The 3 of them still could not believe he had never been left. I loved knowing that though our crew is so very close they are still as independent as ever and are secure enough to venture forth elsewhere. No one came home sick...which was a huge first for being in a nursery environment and not getting anything and the germies that go around. It was that reason alone I seriously contemplated keeping even the 2 of them in the service with me, as I always do here.
The service ended and we met up with Granny who happened to be there too. We all hung out at the ice cream social after it was over and then our entire clan of Granny, Mother and Thomas, Jackie and Curtis and their crew and the children and I all went to Rosa's for dinner. We closed them up at 11pm. It was so much fun just to sit and visit while the children played and ran around on the outside patio after the meal had ended. It was the perfect end to a fun trip. With plans to come back home on Monday morning I decided just to drive on back Sunday night. With the children fed and me loving the fact that we would not have to go through the breakfast routine and then do lunch on the road I packed everybody up and left the FW area at midnight. With full tummies and content little hearts having spent an entire weekend with cousins they slept all the way home. We got in about 3:15 in the morning. Brad was on the medic and was up all night anyway so we talked in between his calls the majority of the way home. And, of course, Evye cried her way to sleep over having to part with Milly and Mercy, which lasted at least 30 minutes into the beginning of the journey westward.
That pretty much sums up our weekend though. We returned home to find that 3 laminate floor installers wreak much more havoc on a bathroom that even 2 three years olds and a 2 year old. I think I seriously scrubbed laminate adhesive off of toilets for an hour per toilet. Then they went and freakin stood in one of the bathtubs! Who does that...and why???? There was a perfect dirty boot imprint in one of the tubs. I suppose if you have to get in there to maneuver around in the small space it might could be understood but at least clean up your mess. Good grief. To say that the house had been turned upside down is an understatement. I had gone so far as to scrub every bathroom squeaky clean before we left in order to give them fresh clean bathrooms to not only work in but use. Apparently it didn't really occur to them to return the favor. And I seriously think they were worse at hitting the commode then all of our boys combined. In fact...I think they were actually laying floors while they peed. At least that is what appeared to have happened based on what the commodes looked like. Sick, dude. I can manage cleaning up my own kids' pee and don't even think twice about it but cleaning up some strange foreign dudes' pee is just nasty in a whole new way. Ugh!
So, I came home and rearranged furniture back to restore order within and then cleaned and scrubbed and swept and mopped. Then wash took over. The children folded as the wash came out in an effort to get caught back up and back into our routine. I suppose nesting has kicked in earlier and earlier with each baby as I have moved from cleaning once we returned home to cooking today to dragging out all of the patterns and sewing projects I have to get to work on. I got my little sewing corner set up awhile back and all I lack is the fabric. I have pj's for the boys to make for their birthday and am making a matching full fitted sheet to go on their bed. Then I got some John Deere fleece to make them each a blanket out of. So, their pj's, sheets and blankets will all coordinate. Then I found an 1800's girls' gown pattern and still need some white cotton and lace to get started on those for the girls. I found some hot pink and green polka dot fabric for the girls to make pillow case dresses out of. One is hot pink dots on black with the reverse fabric for the capris of black dots on hot pink and then the other is neon green dots on black with the reverse for the capris of black dots on neon green. It is soo cute. I can hardly wait to get started on it. I need to make the pillowcases first before I can get started on the dresses. They're so entirely easy to do. But I still have to go get the fabric for that stuff. Not like I don't have anything else to do at this point.
And since arriving home we have added to our family greatly. Our 20 chicks are set to arrive on the 16th so we are almost prepared for them. And yesterday we were made aware that one of the other fellow council members have free kittens. The children were ecstatic and have been to their house more times than I can count since finding out this important piece of info. They finally were able to catch the owner's at home and asked if they might could buy 2. I had to laugh but thought it was great they didn't just go up to their door and say "Hey..may I have a free kitten?" They were each given a kitten and then told of the water guy and his wife that have even smaller kittens they are trying to find homes for. So...off they went in that direction. And of course, she and her grandkids rejoiced and made a huge deal over the fact that the last 2 had found a great home. So....somehow in 1 day we went from 1 cat to 5. We have our big black one we inherited with the house that is madly in love with our crew and now these 4 little kittens. Hopefully kittens and chicks get along. I guess we'll find out here in a few weeks. With Garrison and Grant well rehearsed on how to treat...or more importantly, how NOT to treat a kitten.....I think we are ready to attempt this feat once again. Upon being asked today if they will throw the kittens Garrison eagerly replied with a "No" with Grant grinning mischievously and saying in a heartfelt way the now well known fact that when he throws a kitten it goes to heaven. So, we shall see. Hopefully these kittens are given a chance to outlive the last one. The children pick up the bigger 2 tomorrow and the smaller ones will not be ready to retrieve until a week from Sat, given their still very young age. So far we have Cheeto, Poco (short for Pocahontas), Mercury and Zinc for names. We'll see if those are still their names tomorrow.
Alright...I think that gets me caught up on the latest. Our new camera now has battery issues since neither of us realized it only came with normal batteries and not a rechargeable one to put on the base. Kind of stupid. Anyway...now the batteries are more than dead and we have to get the dock friendly rechargeable kind tomorrow while in town.
Oh today...I caught Garrison killing the milled flour. While making bread and growing pretty frustrated with the failing recipes I looked over just in time to see him gleefully stabbing the bag with one of Brad's left out screw drivers. It was hard not to laugh. With each new forceful punch a wee bit of flour puffed through before just seeping out. I don't think I realized just how long he'd been at it. By the end of it I counted no less than 11 stab wounds to the flour bag. Needless to say, we had to find a new Ziploc for it. He thought it was quite the source of entertainment though. The sweet funny little grins just do me in. When I looked up he said enthusiastically with absolutely no remorse, "Mom! Watch this!" as he continued to pierce it as hard as humanly possible given a 3 year olds strength. He giggled everytime he retracted his weapon and a brown flour puff came through. And in the midst of my time spent in the kitchen Garrett managed to squirt out 1/4 of the Charlie's Soap concentrate surface cleaner on the very same floor Aubrey so expertly dumped the Pine Sol on not so terribly long ago. Why does soap make a floor sticky???? I still have to get to that. I just closed the door and saved that mess for tomorrow. But, he did get spanked for that one, as it is a well known fact that you do not mess with the cleaners.....no matter just how tempting the massive pump on the top of it is. But suffice it to say that the towels will be more than clean in the next towel load.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Finding Peace...Finding Contentment
with where you are in life. Is that not what life is all about in the overall pursuit of it as you come to realize that you are after the heart of God and to follow the convictions He has given...not what makes sense, not what sounds good to everyone, not even the over spiritualization of what you think is taking place in your own life or anyone else's. Not fearing the world's or friends' opinions as your direction once again changes like the winds of spring. One of the many reasons I married Brad was because of his wander lusting ways. I was right there with him. I had the same dreams, the same pursuits in life, the same love of adventure and everything new, yet unseen, yet untouched, yet to be fulfilled. I still have it in my blood, though not as strongly as it once was, I suppose. This is, after all, the same girl who had been on 6 overseas mission trips by the time I had hit the age of 19. The same one who hitchhiked in the hills of Slovakia and wandered around leisurely until I found my way back on the streets of Poland. And still the same wander lusting girl that rode a train through Germany, Czeskoslovakia, Romania and Poland. It was this same love of adventure and never sitting still that I fell in love with in Brad. The adventures still waiting in the wings of time, the love of everything still unseen, the places that we had only dreamed of living. There are so many things to do, so many places to live in a lifetime. And it is this precise love that keeps Brad searching the world over for every fire dept that hires. And this same love that keeps him searching to live everywhere but wherever we happen to be. In the time that we have lived here we have yet to hang a picture on the walls due to his unending ways of finding other depts to work for, cities to live in, and places to see. And I must admit, I am usually right there with him. Thoughts of the high snow peaked mountains of Montana to the rocky shores of Maine to the high desert of New Mexico. It all is a possibility given his job and the easy transition that it is to test and then relocate to, no doubt, somewhere that pays more than San Angelo ever in a lifetime probably will. So, as he called me in many months ago to let me see that FW and Hurst were hiring the allure was there for him. It took me awhile to ever warm up to the idea of ever returning back home. After all, we had the entire world to see. But, as my family's wounds began to heal and we began to embrace each other and what has been torn away from all of us from so many years of lies and deceptions Brad and I both began to realize the invaluable thing that family provides. So, after being so overtly opposed to ever moving back to the city I began to get excited once again and the thought of family overtook me with what we now had in each other and what our little family had to return to in our bigger family. And, of course, we probably would not be running the possibility of ever having another baby born on our bathroom floor completely and entirely unassisted. Moving back meant we actually had the ability to welcome each new one into our arms in the warm and safe comfort of home with our beloved midwife by our side. So, there was lots to return to and I began to fall in love all over again. My own spirit of adventure returned as I began to search the world over in search of the perfect farm home. And we found more than a few options that were easy to fall in love with. And there was the part of both of us that loved the idea of moving on yet again and just change in general. We love change. I always thought Brad and Curtis had the moving bug pretty bad until I read the biography of Laura Ingalls Wilder. "Pa", aka Charles Ingalls, gives a whole new meaning to dragging his family all over the west side of the US from north to south back to north again. And as we read through Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone I realized that Brad is not alone at all in his love for change and living somewhere different every 12-18 months. In fact, compared to some of these men who left their wives for months on end, Brad has a very mild case of the Wild at Heart thing men seem to have going.
So, we planned and schemed together of all that we would do, all that we would take on and all of the family get togethers we were now free to embrace as we planned the move back to the northeast part of the state. And it humbles me to say, we both sincerely and honestly thought it was our hearts being turned toward home and the Lord compelling us that direction. I believed with everything within me it was the Lord asking us to be willing enough to take this on and leave our familiar territory here to move on and take on a new chapter in our lives. Little did we know that we would indeed be taking on a new chapter but that consisted of eventually realizing it probably meant be willing to stay right where we are. I feel as though through all of this God has just tested and asked both of us through this process if we are remaining unattached and willing to cling to Him, not material ideas and dreams. This may not consist so much of our location but where our heart is and how willing we are to be flexible......as in flexible enough to bend as the tree but not break. Are we wiling to leave here if He tells us to do so but are we willing to stay here also if He chooses not to do a thing at this point but fulfill us here. I tend to get so focused on one given thing that once the direction is set than that is where we are going...come hell or high water. Maybe this has just been to see if we remain willing to go but content to stay. Do I really need to think of everything I dislike here in order to let go and move on and do I really have to convince myself that city life is not all that bad. Or can I come to a point in life where I just accept it for what it is and move willingly to wherever it is we are supposed to be? How in the world can God ever use us freely if He is constantly having to chip away at a wall of pretenses or oppositions or preconceived ideas that withhold us from just saying "Yes" immediately? Have I gotten to that point? No. Like, really no. And it is evident as Brad once again has a change of heart and really realizes what we have been blessed with here and I go through the whole process of letting go just one more time in our married life. Letting go of everything I had to pump myself up for and everything I fully embraced finally, only to be turned around and headed the other direction. And it has not been without lots of consulting on his part with me before ever coming to a decision to reverse the plans in action. But as we sat and evaluated we were forced to look at how exceedingly and abundantly God has enriched our lives here and how very much we have been blessed financially. Not only would he suffer a paycut with a change of depts but he would lose rank and, after 10 yrs in the fire service, once again be reduced to a mere rookie. As it stands right now, he stands to make Lt in the spring and will probably make Cpt just a mere 3 yrs later. In 3 yrs he would probably not even be eligible for Lt on a new dept and, if he was, the chance of a position being available is slim. With those advances in rank come massive amounts of a salary increase. So, we sat down and evaluated our finances carefully. After nearly 10 yrs of marriage and many trail and errors within our budget and learning the hard way that debt is not an option we have finally reached complete and total financial freedom with the exception of our house. When we went Friday morning to refinance it the mouths of the bankers and loan officers alike dropped open as they pulled our credit and discovered that we have no "liabilities", no credit cards, no debts, no anything. The small amount we were refinancing was our entire debt in life. She once again, in shocked amazement, asked how many children we have and what Brad does for a living. She had all of his pay stubs before her and all of our entire financial status lay before her. She was astounded. Despite the mess that our previous house became 2 yrs ago and despite the way in which it was finally sold we qualified for refinancing without even any questions at all. It was immediate. The feeling of sitting in there with that much leverage was a phenomenal experience for both of us. We both felt the freedom that came with it. It was a very life changing thing to be a part of. For the first time in life we saw the power and the freedom before us of having absolutely no debt. Our interest rate was dropped by 2 points and though we had to escrow, which we have never done, it still dropped our payments by 200.00 a month. After talking it over and refiguring we knew beyond everything that not only it is a goal but it is a very real thing that we will have our house paid for in a mere 3 yrs. And the debate started on whether to stay or whether to go. "Should I stay or should I go?" was playing like a broken record throughout my mind.....and has been for these last 2 seemingly infinite weeks of indecisiveness on both of our parts. We both knew that moving would require us to triple what we owed in a mortgage unless we were going to be content with neighborhood suburb life again. And both of us knew we would not resort to that and not ever require that of any of us, having had the freedom we have had here. Brad had every intention of going to finance a tractor and celebrate after we refinanced. I had been in turmoil over this for 2 entire weeks by this point but had finally realized there was no changing his mind. So, instead of nagging I decided to make the best of it and get excited over what we would now be able to accomplish, be it here or wherever the new place is, as the tractor would obviously be going with us to accomplish what we desire as we begin to build our own homestead. But, after sitting in the bank and realizing the freedom we had just been given after the many years of hard work and being so dedicated to paying off debt, his heart began to change. Upon walking out of the bank he declared that we have worked too hard to get to this point and we would not be financing anything, but sticking to the deep convictions that God has worked so hard to instill in both of us. There would be no financing of a tractor. We have learned to overcome and make due with everything else as we have worked these years to pay off debt and so we could undoubtedly get creative and make it work without owning a tractor. I was so entirely ecstatically relieved but in some strange way it was yet another disappointment yet to be dealt with. The hopes of everything we had planned to do here. Everything we had begun to get excited about last week as we planned our own farm right here on our 3 acres, soon to be 6 as we purchase the gin land. We know what it is now to put money into savings, as we have never been able to even think about savings before. We know what it is to operate strictly in cash and both of us love knowing we can go hand Mr Gin owner cash and walk away with the land. So, we wait for the perfect time, when we know we are ready for it and when we both know the timing is right, and we will make our way over and do a cash transaction for the land. And both of us have great plans to farm and cultivate the little that we have been so blessed to grow and learn on here, as we do our trial and error farming endeavors before taking on the bigger things we long to aspire to. We both have fallen in love with farming and homesteading. And we see not only the benefits and the money saving ways,but the tremendous change to even healthier diets as we raise our own beef and chicken, gather on our homegrown eggs, milk our own goats and grow our own uncontaminated veggies. It is something that absolutely excites both of us.
But it is an ever changing journey. We are being brought to a point that we are realizing what is right before us without ever going anywhere. And despite the depression I have had to fight off as I come to terms with the fact that we are staying and nothing is really changing drastically, after pumping myself up for change in every way, there is a peace and contentment with coming to the realization that all we have been given is right here. Not only have is it been given freely and extravagantly to us, but that it is absolutely beyond us how blessed we are right where we are. We are surrounded by friends that are a wealth of info and knowledge as we take our first baby steps into homesteading. Despite the lack of instant gratification of owning a monstrous beast of a tractor that sits on our property at every whim we have, by the time we do have it it will also be debt free and paid for in cash. There will be no tractor payment, no large mortgage we had to take on in the name of moving, no being stretched so thin we can hardly breathe as we take a paycut and suffer the expenses of moving 300 miles. The Lord has been incredibly merciful in giving us the means to attain financial freedom when He saw that we were serious about heeding the convictions He was working on within our hearts. I see families still striving and dreaming of the day they can get to this point and here we sit and think of ruining it all, in the name of "if we paid it off once, we can do it again". One of the most important things to us is to instill these things within our children. And how can they ever learn the value of being debt free and never getting themselves into a mess unless they see us, as their parents and teachers, modeling it for them? How can they learn what it is to wait for something and to work for it if it is never seen in their young lives as they grow. Grayson was highly in tune with the whole tractor proceedings and when the call was finally made that we would not even head down that road or give it any more thought at all due to the debt factor he cheered and proclaimed that Brad had made the right decision. It kind of stumped Grayson this whole time as to why in the world we would ever take on debt after having seen us work so hard to get out of it. He has been the oldest, so therefore the most affected one, while watching our efforts of attaining financial freedom. So this status is as treasured by him as it is by us. He knows what a miracle it is to finally be at this place in life and already hearing him make business plans with Curtis Wade is worth it all and what we have been through as a couple. To see it manifested in the lives of our children is what it is all about. It is one of those things that is indescribable. Just when you feel you cannot breathe for all of the blessings that abound, to see it come alive in your children make you realize that life cannot get any better.
I have come to terms with it, after coming off my emotional roller coaster. We have the ability now to make monthly trips to visit everybody and we already have a child exchange plan in action in which all cousins will see each other regularly. And reality is, with as far out as we would've had to live to be able to afford any amount of land, our trips in to see family would have been severely limited for a long while. Mortgage goes up, commute time triples, distance to town grows therefore gas expense grows, salary goes down. As it is, we can come and go from FW dropping kids off and picking kids up as they spend a week at a time together. And when it comes time to do our garden harvest their crew will come camp out here and have a harvest party as we all bring in the garden. And as their garden gets up and going we will all go there and help them out. So, we walk away from this whole moving thing with the best of all worlds....more financial freedom than we have ever known, the ability to come and go from FW as we please despite rising gas prices, maybe not as much quantity time, but definitely more quality time spent with family and a house and property that we have been in love with since the day we first saw it.
So, as the plans change and evolve we have begun to plan for spending our lives here. I did make Brad promise through all of this that this is the last time and after definitely deciding to settle here that that will be the last of the talk, the last of the searching, the last of the wandering and toying with new places. Once this is it, we are here for a lifetime. No more Border Patrol thoughts, no more new depts, no more dream states. After this is over and he has made up his mind not to test in Nov for Fw that we lay it all down and embrace what we have been given here.......the guys that he works with that have become family to both of us, the whole dept that loves all of our children, the friends that have surrounded us here, the dream home of a doll house we are living in, the land that we have to work with. And if we do relocate it will only be to move to more land within this same area as we begin to grow our farm. But no more emotional roller coasters of the here, there and everywhere dept changes. But after the revelation of where we are financially here and what we have I think he was on the same page. We both see it and we both know it. So, unless God moves mountains within both of us we are here to stay. And he promised.
So it is that we are settling here. Our baby chicks are due to hatch on August 15th or so and will be ready to pick up on the 16th. We converted one of the old storage buildings into a chicken coop. Stumbling across that was a gold mind, as we discovered that it in its past life it used to be a very well built, expertly designed coop that had been converted to a mere shed. Once we cleaned it out we discovered it had roosts and a nesting shelf that boxes once sat on and as we pulled up the floor we were amazed to even find it 1/2 covered in droppings board and the other 1/2 in plywood, perfect for the pine shavings. We even found the old hanger that used to hang the feeder. So with some slight modifications it will once again be a small castle of a coop. So it is that our chickens arrive next month. The dairy goats will come after we have cleared the land and planted coastal, which may take a few months. But the goal is to have them by spring. Once we get both pastures planted we'll also take on our first cow that will hopefully supply us with a year's worth of beef. The goal is to have the 1/2 acre garden cultivated and ready to plant by spring also. That will take time, as the ground desperately needs to be rebuilt due to it depleted, hot, dry, west TX status. The ground is hard and dry and cracked so we will have to work on tilling it up, building the soil and getting some form of water to it. But with our soon to arrive chickens we are off to a good start!!
And among some of the biggest plans as we evaluate stay vs go, is the matter of adoption. For the last 2 years Brad and I have known that it's not a matter of if but just a matter of when. We both feel it and we are both open to it. Up to this point, finances and income have stood in our way at every turn. We seriously pursued it as we were in the midst of moving here but after finding out what financial requirements there are we laid it down for awhile and trusted that the Lord would make it known when the timing was right. We both knew He was working on us and maybe it was not for the here and now, but for the heart preparation for what is to come. It doesn't take away the longing once it really becomes part of your heart but it does make you treasure the profound events of what is still yet to come. As we have taken into consideration what staying here means it also brought up that adoption is a very real thing now. Our finances are swiftly coming into order and with some slight modifications we could easily turn the playroom into more bedrooms, as we know we will eventually be doing that anyway. The possibility to expand here is somewhat limitless, as we know we could make another 4 bedrooms out of the playroom and the attic above. So, as our savings account grows and we become more dependant on the land and less dependant on the grocery store and the Lord moves on our hearts that now is the time we have the ability to adopt. We both know it may be next month that the Lord moves on our hearts or 5 years from now but we are both prepared to take that on in every way when He says "Go!". I think if we have shown oursleves trustworthy in every way with willing and open hearts that God will be faithful to move and do whatever He needs to do with our finances in order to adopt. International adoption has a massive price tag that goes along with it and, despite the freedom we now live in, it is still a huge obstable to overcome...but not to the God we serve and whose reserves are limitless, who owns all of Heaven and earth and has every resource at His hand. He has been so good and so faithful to give us the ablility to get ourselves out of debt but I also know that it was our determination and stout heartendess to choose to go through with that. There were many other things the money could've easily been spent on. I know that He is establishing in us the trustworthiness that He has so longed to see for so many years. And when the day comes to go for it and start the adoption proceedings that He will supply every financial need that arises knowing that He can trust us with it in every way. He has done it once to enable us to get out of debt and He will do it again to bring His children home. I am learning that He waits with expectation and yearns for an opportunity for you to call out to Him and give Him the room to work miracles in your life. But for us, that came after many many years of painful learning experiences and lessons to get us to the point that He could work with us, for us and through us.
So, we stay here.....and we farm and he continues to work for the fire dept and eventually we will adopt. We find contentment with what it is we already have and not what we always see just ahead of us. We continue paying off our mortgage as quickly as we can and we remain free of all other debts and of acquiring anymore. What is that quote? "You travel the world over in search of yourself only to return home to find it." At this point I'm not sure where home is. I thought it was here, then I knew it was there, but now I am coming to discover it is wherever God really has in mind for us and where we can live according to the principles He had laid on our hearts. And for now, that place is here.
More of our farming beginnings will be posted later as I gather up pictures. First and foremost is the coop. The 1st tractor rental will consist of leveling out the backyard to get the swingset up, plowing up the land for the garden and then moving on to the pastures to clear them. We are hoping to wipe that out with the first rental. The 2nd should consist of tilling up pastures and trying to get the coastal going.
And for your comment Sue Ellen.....is it nearly impossible to make just one loaf of bread and not have everybody eat it. In fact, I got frustrated with it. It starts smelling good and everybody starts flocking to the kitchen. But I found a recipe that makes 5-6 loaves and I quit making mine in the bread machine that does just one loaf at a time. I'm starting to use the Kitchen Aid with the bread dough hook now until I can get the Bosch. That way we can eat one loaf and still have the others left for sandwiches. I still haven't transtioned over to making 100% of all of our bread needs but it is getting better. There for awhile I went through a phase where every loaf came out 3 inches high and weighed about 5 pds. I got frustrated with it. I finally figured out it was the old wheat I was using.....as I came to discover from Mother that she had had that wheat since I was in the 5th grade. Ugh! I can hardly wait until next time we put in an order with Montana Wheat!!! I plan on stocking up on fresh wheat berries and solving my bread issues! After coming to discover the old wheat issue I went and bought store bought whole wheat just to experiment and see if that really was my problem and the loaf came out perfect!
So, we planned and schemed together of all that we would do, all that we would take on and all of the family get togethers we were now free to embrace as we planned the move back to the northeast part of the state. And it humbles me to say, we both sincerely and honestly thought it was our hearts being turned toward home and the Lord compelling us that direction. I believed with everything within me it was the Lord asking us to be willing enough to take this on and leave our familiar territory here to move on and take on a new chapter in our lives. Little did we know that we would indeed be taking on a new chapter but that consisted of eventually realizing it probably meant be willing to stay right where we are. I feel as though through all of this God has just tested and asked both of us through this process if we are remaining unattached and willing to cling to Him, not material ideas and dreams. This may not consist so much of our location but where our heart is and how willing we are to be flexible......as in flexible enough to bend as the tree but not break. Are we wiling to leave here if He tells us to do so but are we willing to stay here also if He chooses not to do a thing at this point but fulfill us here. I tend to get so focused on one given thing that once the direction is set than that is where we are going...come hell or high water. Maybe this has just been to see if we remain willing to go but content to stay. Do I really need to think of everything I dislike here in order to let go and move on and do I really have to convince myself that city life is not all that bad. Or can I come to a point in life where I just accept it for what it is and move willingly to wherever it is we are supposed to be? How in the world can God ever use us freely if He is constantly having to chip away at a wall of pretenses or oppositions or preconceived ideas that withhold us from just saying "Yes" immediately? Have I gotten to that point? No. Like, really no. And it is evident as Brad once again has a change of heart and really realizes what we have been blessed with here and I go through the whole process of letting go just one more time in our married life. Letting go of everything I had to pump myself up for and everything I fully embraced finally, only to be turned around and headed the other direction. And it has not been without lots of consulting on his part with me before ever coming to a decision to reverse the plans in action. But as we sat and evaluated we were forced to look at how exceedingly and abundantly God has enriched our lives here and how very much we have been blessed financially. Not only would he suffer a paycut with a change of depts but he would lose rank and, after 10 yrs in the fire service, once again be reduced to a mere rookie. As it stands right now, he stands to make Lt in the spring and will probably make Cpt just a mere 3 yrs later. In 3 yrs he would probably not even be eligible for Lt on a new dept and, if he was, the chance of a position being available is slim. With those advances in rank come massive amounts of a salary increase. So, we sat down and evaluated our finances carefully. After nearly 10 yrs of marriage and many trail and errors within our budget and learning the hard way that debt is not an option we have finally reached complete and total financial freedom with the exception of our house. When we went Friday morning to refinance it the mouths of the bankers and loan officers alike dropped open as they pulled our credit and discovered that we have no "liabilities", no credit cards, no debts, no anything. The small amount we were refinancing was our entire debt in life. She once again, in shocked amazement, asked how many children we have and what Brad does for a living. She had all of his pay stubs before her and all of our entire financial status lay before her. She was astounded. Despite the mess that our previous house became 2 yrs ago and despite the way in which it was finally sold we qualified for refinancing without even any questions at all. It was immediate. The feeling of sitting in there with that much leverage was a phenomenal experience for both of us. We both felt the freedom that came with it. It was a very life changing thing to be a part of. For the first time in life we saw the power and the freedom before us of having absolutely no debt. Our interest rate was dropped by 2 points and though we had to escrow, which we have never done, it still dropped our payments by 200.00 a month. After talking it over and refiguring we knew beyond everything that not only it is a goal but it is a very real thing that we will have our house paid for in a mere 3 yrs. And the debate started on whether to stay or whether to go. "Should I stay or should I go?" was playing like a broken record throughout my mind.....and has been for these last 2 seemingly infinite weeks of indecisiveness on both of our parts. We both knew that moving would require us to triple what we owed in a mortgage unless we were going to be content with neighborhood suburb life again. And both of us knew we would not resort to that and not ever require that of any of us, having had the freedom we have had here. Brad had every intention of going to finance a tractor and celebrate after we refinanced. I had been in turmoil over this for 2 entire weeks by this point but had finally realized there was no changing his mind. So, instead of nagging I decided to make the best of it and get excited over what we would now be able to accomplish, be it here or wherever the new place is, as the tractor would obviously be going with us to accomplish what we desire as we begin to build our own homestead. But, after sitting in the bank and realizing the freedom we had just been given after the many years of hard work and being so dedicated to paying off debt, his heart began to change. Upon walking out of the bank he declared that we have worked too hard to get to this point and we would not be financing anything, but sticking to the deep convictions that God has worked so hard to instill in both of us. There would be no financing of a tractor. We have learned to overcome and make due with everything else as we have worked these years to pay off debt and so we could undoubtedly get creative and make it work without owning a tractor. I was so entirely ecstatically relieved but in some strange way it was yet another disappointment yet to be dealt with. The hopes of everything we had planned to do here. Everything we had begun to get excited about last week as we planned our own farm right here on our 3 acres, soon to be 6 as we purchase the gin land. We know what it is now to put money into savings, as we have never been able to even think about savings before. We know what it is to operate strictly in cash and both of us love knowing we can go hand Mr Gin owner cash and walk away with the land. So, we wait for the perfect time, when we know we are ready for it and when we both know the timing is right, and we will make our way over and do a cash transaction for the land. And both of us have great plans to farm and cultivate the little that we have been so blessed to grow and learn on here, as we do our trial and error farming endeavors before taking on the bigger things we long to aspire to. We both have fallen in love with farming and homesteading. And we see not only the benefits and the money saving ways,but the tremendous change to even healthier diets as we raise our own beef and chicken, gather on our homegrown eggs, milk our own goats and grow our own uncontaminated veggies. It is something that absolutely excites both of us.
But it is an ever changing journey. We are being brought to a point that we are realizing what is right before us without ever going anywhere. And despite the depression I have had to fight off as I come to terms with the fact that we are staying and nothing is really changing drastically, after pumping myself up for change in every way, there is a peace and contentment with coming to the realization that all we have been given is right here. Not only have is it been given freely and extravagantly to us, but that it is absolutely beyond us how blessed we are right where we are. We are surrounded by friends that are a wealth of info and knowledge as we take our first baby steps into homesteading. Despite the lack of instant gratification of owning a monstrous beast of a tractor that sits on our property at every whim we have, by the time we do have it it will also be debt free and paid for in cash. There will be no tractor payment, no large mortgage we had to take on in the name of moving, no being stretched so thin we can hardly breathe as we take a paycut and suffer the expenses of moving 300 miles. The Lord has been incredibly merciful in giving us the means to attain financial freedom when He saw that we were serious about heeding the convictions He was working on within our hearts. I see families still striving and dreaming of the day they can get to this point and here we sit and think of ruining it all, in the name of "if we paid it off once, we can do it again". One of the most important things to us is to instill these things within our children. And how can they ever learn the value of being debt free and never getting themselves into a mess unless they see us, as their parents and teachers, modeling it for them? How can they learn what it is to wait for something and to work for it if it is never seen in their young lives as they grow. Grayson was highly in tune with the whole tractor proceedings and when the call was finally made that we would not even head down that road or give it any more thought at all due to the debt factor he cheered and proclaimed that Brad had made the right decision. It kind of stumped Grayson this whole time as to why in the world we would ever take on debt after having seen us work so hard to get out of it. He has been the oldest, so therefore the most affected one, while watching our efforts of attaining financial freedom. So this status is as treasured by him as it is by us. He knows what a miracle it is to finally be at this place in life and already hearing him make business plans with Curtis Wade is worth it all and what we have been through as a couple. To see it manifested in the lives of our children is what it is all about. It is one of those things that is indescribable. Just when you feel you cannot breathe for all of the blessings that abound, to see it come alive in your children make you realize that life cannot get any better.
I have come to terms with it, after coming off my emotional roller coaster. We have the ability now to make monthly trips to visit everybody and we already have a child exchange plan in action in which all cousins will see each other regularly. And reality is, with as far out as we would've had to live to be able to afford any amount of land, our trips in to see family would have been severely limited for a long while. Mortgage goes up, commute time triples, distance to town grows therefore gas expense grows, salary goes down. As it is, we can come and go from FW dropping kids off and picking kids up as they spend a week at a time together. And when it comes time to do our garden harvest their crew will come camp out here and have a harvest party as we all bring in the garden. And as their garden gets up and going we will all go there and help them out. So, we walk away from this whole moving thing with the best of all worlds....more financial freedom than we have ever known, the ability to come and go from FW as we please despite rising gas prices, maybe not as much quantity time, but definitely more quality time spent with family and a house and property that we have been in love with since the day we first saw it.
So, as the plans change and evolve we have begun to plan for spending our lives here. I did make Brad promise through all of this that this is the last time and after definitely deciding to settle here that that will be the last of the talk, the last of the searching, the last of the wandering and toying with new places. Once this is it, we are here for a lifetime. No more Border Patrol thoughts, no more new depts, no more dream states. After this is over and he has made up his mind not to test in Nov for Fw that we lay it all down and embrace what we have been given here.......the guys that he works with that have become family to both of us, the whole dept that loves all of our children, the friends that have surrounded us here, the dream home of a doll house we are living in, the land that we have to work with. And if we do relocate it will only be to move to more land within this same area as we begin to grow our farm. But no more emotional roller coasters of the here, there and everywhere dept changes. But after the revelation of where we are financially here and what we have I think he was on the same page. We both see it and we both know it. So, unless God moves mountains within both of us we are here to stay. And he promised.
So it is that we are settling here. Our baby chicks are due to hatch on August 15th or so and will be ready to pick up on the 16th. We converted one of the old storage buildings into a chicken coop. Stumbling across that was a gold mind, as we discovered that it in its past life it used to be a very well built, expertly designed coop that had been converted to a mere shed. Once we cleaned it out we discovered it had roosts and a nesting shelf that boxes once sat on and as we pulled up the floor we were amazed to even find it 1/2 covered in droppings board and the other 1/2 in plywood, perfect for the pine shavings. We even found the old hanger that used to hang the feeder. So with some slight modifications it will once again be a small castle of a coop. So it is that our chickens arrive next month. The dairy goats will come after we have cleared the land and planted coastal, which may take a few months. But the goal is to have them by spring. Once we get both pastures planted we'll also take on our first cow that will hopefully supply us with a year's worth of beef. The goal is to have the 1/2 acre garden cultivated and ready to plant by spring also. That will take time, as the ground desperately needs to be rebuilt due to it depleted, hot, dry, west TX status. The ground is hard and dry and cracked so we will have to work on tilling it up, building the soil and getting some form of water to it. But with our soon to arrive chickens we are off to a good start!!
And among some of the biggest plans as we evaluate stay vs go, is the matter of adoption. For the last 2 years Brad and I have known that it's not a matter of if but just a matter of when. We both feel it and we are both open to it. Up to this point, finances and income have stood in our way at every turn. We seriously pursued it as we were in the midst of moving here but after finding out what financial requirements there are we laid it down for awhile and trusted that the Lord would make it known when the timing was right. We both knew He was working on us and maybe it was not for the here and now, but for the heart preparation for what is to come. It doesn't take away the longing once it really becomes part of your heart but it does make you treasure the profound events of what is still yet to come. As we have taken into consideration what staying here means it also brought up that adoption is a very real thing now. Our finances are swiftly coming into order and with some slight modifications we could easily turn the playroom into more bedrooms, as we know we will eventually be doing that anyway. The possibility to expand here is somewhat limitless, as we know we could make another 4 bedrooms out of the playroom and the attic above. So, as our savings account grows and we become more dependant on the land and less dependant on the grocery store and the Lord moves on our hearts that now is the time we have the ability to adopt. We both know it may be next month that the Lord moves on our hearts or 5 years from now but we are both prepared to take that on in every way when He says "Go!". I think if we have shown oursleves trustworthy in every way with willing and open hearts that God will be faithful to move and do whatever He needs to do with our finances in order to adopt. International adoption has a massive price tag that goes along with it and, despite the freedom we now live in, it is still a huge obstable to overcome...but not to the God we serve and whose reserves are limitless, who owns all of Heaven and earth and has every resource at His hand. He has been so good and so faithful to give us the ablility to get ourselves out of debt but I also know that it was our determination and stout heartendess to choose to go through with that. There were many other things the money could've easily been spent on. I know that He is establishing in us the trustworthiness that He has so longed to see for so many years. And when the day comes to go for it and start the adoption proceedings that He will supply every financial need that arises knowing that He can trust us with it in every way. He has done it once to enable us to get out of debt and He will do it again to bring His children home. I am learning that He waits with expectation and yearns for an opportunity for you to call out to Him and give Him the room to work miracles in your life. But for us, that came after many many years of painful learning experiences and lessons to get us to the point that He could work with us, for us and through us.
So, we stay here.....and we farm and he continues to work for the fire dept and eventually we will adopt. We find contentment with what it is we already have and not what we always see just ahead of us. We continue paying off our mortgage as quickly as we can and we remain free of all other debts and of acquiring anymore. What is that quote? "You travel the world over in search of yourself only to return home to find it." At this point I'm not sure where home is. I thought it was here, then I knew it was there, but now I am coming to discover it is wherever God really has in mind for us and where we can live according to the principles He had laid on our hearts. And for now, that place is here.
More of our farming beginnings will be posted later as I gather up pictures. First and foremost is the coop. The 1st tractor rental will consist of leveling out the backyard to get the swingset up, plowing up the land for the garden and then moving on to the pastures to clear them. We are hoping to wipe that out with the first rental. The 2nd should consist of tilling up pastures and trying to get the coastal going.
And for your comment Sue Ellen.....is it nearly impossible to make just one loaf of bread and not have everybody eat it. In fact, I got frustrated with it. It starts smelling good and everybody starts flocking to the kitchen. But I found a recipe that makes 5-6 loaves and I quit making mine in the bread machine that does just one loaf at a time. I'm starting to use the Kitchen Aid with the bread dough hook now until I can get the Bosch. That way we can eat one loaf and still have the others left for sandwiches. I still haven't transtioned over to making 100% of all of our bread needs but it is getting better. There for awhile I went through a phase where every loaf came out 3 inches high and weighed about 5 pds. I got frustrated with it. I finally figured out it was the old wheat I was using.....as I came to discover from Mother that she had had that wheat since I was in the 5th grade. Ugh! I can hardly wait until next time we put in an order with Montana Wheat!!! I plan on stocking up on fresh wheat berries and solving my bread issues! After coming to discover the old wheat issue I went and bought store bought whole wheat just to experiment and see if that really was my problem and the loaf came out perfect!
Happy 1st Birthday Baby Gavin
It's hard to believe a year ago yesterday Brad was delivering this little boy in the bathroom floor...of all places. It's still hard to believe his labor and and how just how blessed we were in his delivery. Once again I look at him on his 1 year birthday and again am absolutely amazed at all that transpired within a year and how much not only life changes but how much children grow in just 12 short months, especially their very 1st initial year. To go
from this
to this
to this
..........is still just a miracle to me of how God works and life takes shape. It's incredible to both Brad and I to see how different they all are and see how much the younger ones now are all influenced by the older ones. Their personalities are so incredibly individually different, unique to only them, yet they all share sibling similarities and you can't help but notice one in another. I am amazed that he has turned out to be our 2nd redhead, though I don't think he can quite compete with the fiery orange glow Grant has going. I love how driven and intense he is even at the ripe old age of 12 months yet one of the most content and happiest among our crew. He goes from sunup to sundown on town days and only utters a whimper when the day starts to interfere with his 7 pm bedtime. All day long he smiles and is loved on and draws the attention of the world by his contagious little grins and silly and LOUD antics while we shop, eat, run errands and visit with whoever we happen to run into that day. He is amazing to me. To watch the bond that he and Garrett have is amusing to say the least. To have them be the 14 months apart that they are and to watch that bond have grown like it has over the past year is just amazing to me. Though Gavin can crawl and make his way through the house at lightening speeds he has yet to make it to his feet to try them out at all. The most that he does with his feet at this point is walk his way around the coffe table. He is quite good....and quite quick!!!.....on his feet with that. I think he just prefers making it anywhere else in the house much faster by crawling rather than ever trying to get to his feet and the trial and error falls that are unavoidable. So.....he crawls through the house in his rather successful efforts to keep up with the rest of everybody's busyness.
So, we celebrated by going to the SAFD vs SAPD baseball game Friday night. Brad ended up with a bunch of the chest stuff due to allergies so he called in Th...one of the reasons for my absence on here.....but by Friday was feeling good enough to play. The boys are still in awe that Daddy plays "real" baseball and have loved going to practices and LOVE going to the big field to watch the guys in action. They let Grayson down in the dugout during the game and Garrison and Grant have done nothing but hit balls with their bats and try heroically to catch what each other throws in their little gloves. Garrison was absolutely devastated over the fact that he was being required to come with me and sit in the stands while they practiced. So, amongst his wails Brad and the guys told him he was welcome to hang out and so it was that he got down on the big field with everybody and practiced throwing and catching with the best of them.
You can see Grayson and Garrison out on the field at the bottom of the bleachers as Garrison gets ready to catch Grayson's throw.
In this one Garrison little tiny body is over to the right walking around with all of the fire guys. Brad's on the front row, farthest on the left with his back facing the camera.
We left the house at 9:30am and arrived at the bank at 10, spending 2 hrs there attending to business, then rewarded the children for their incredible behaviour and patience by doing a nice sit down lunch, then headed on to Sam's, Wal Mart, picking up the cake, running by to pick up a few new Praise Baby DVD's at the bookstore for Gavin's birthday presents and continued on in our errand running ways until it was time to show up at the field at 3 for practice. The game was over at 6 and after visiting with everybody and then stopping for water we returned home at 8. This is what the van looked like while waiting on Brad, Grayson and Evye to return with the waters. It was VERY quiet. Nothing like a 10 1/2 hr day on the town.
We picked up Gavin's cake while in town for the game and came home to celebrate on Sat. Of course the cake didn't survive completely undisturbed until it's allotted time. In the midst of unloading the van Garrett went unattended and expertly helped himself an entire 24 hrs before it was to be eaten. You can kind of see in the pics where Brad attempted to patch it back up.
OH...I can't forget that we somehow managed, for the 1st time in history, to forget to load the stroller after the game was over. We realized it wasn't in the van...along with my phone that was still in it....as we stopped for water. We headed back to the field to see if it was still there only to find that someone....probably us!!!.....ran over it! How in the world do you manage to run over a DuoGlider and not know it???? Still pondering that one. As it was, we...or whoever it was....only managed to run completely over the left front wheel of it. Seeing as how that is about the only way we ever get out with all of them in tow it is a very critical piece of going anywhere. Any shopping is done using the stroller. Lunch and errands are managed without it. So, I now have to see whether I can switch out one of the tires from our older back up DuoGlider to see if that will meet the need and fix it. We are leaving for FW on Wednesday so we have to have something figured out by then. If not, we'll be hitting Kid to Kid and Once Upon A Child in search of a gently used double stroller. As sickening as the feeling was once we discovered it, it was still kind of funny. We drove up, back to the place we had been parked, only to find a group of firemen standing around babysitting it and each taking turns calling Brad's cell, which he didn't have on him - a once in a lifetime occurrence. You've got to be thankful for friends!
Nothing like summer, baseball games and birthdays! I will say being 22 wks pregnant kind of puts a damper on the 95 degree baseball games. Though I am immensely grateful for the dry, west TX winds that keep it tolerable and even go as far as to make it enjoyable....even if we all did end up sunburned!
Our Birthday Boy
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Planning
Alright...so Brad and I have been so busy over the past few days that I have had very little time other than to be completely and totally absorbed by planning, excitement and a million mile an hour thoughts. So it's left very little room to write.....though I have had to make a list of stuff to remember when I finally do get on here.
But it made me feel a little better to post something on here. And the NEW camera dock got water spilled on it so any pictures are again in holding mode...stuck for days on end in the camera. I finally went tonight and got yet another new one while I was in town with the children. Our last new one had something wrong with it anyway since the little power light would never light up. So, Brad will set the new one all up tomorrow so we are back in the picture business again. And I will try and find some time tomorrow or Th, as he is back on shift then, to get on here and spill the latest happenings. So far, my hours have been spent list making, reading and educating all of us on the care and upkeep of the endeavors we are about to take on.
So, more to come.
But it made me feel a little better to post something on here. And the NEW camera dock got water spilled on it so any pictures are again in holding mode...stuck for days on end in the camera. I finally went tonight and got yet another new one while I was in town with the children. Our last new one had something wrong with it anyway since the little power light would never light up. So, Brad will set the new one all up tomorrow so we are back in the picture business again. And I will try and find some time tomorrow or Th, as he is back on shift then, to get on here and spill the latest happenings. So far, my hours have been spent list making, reading and educating all of us on the care and upkeep of the endeavors we are about to take on.
So, more to come.
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Voddie Baucham
With great thanks to Sue Ellen, a dear friend, for introducing us to him. I am forever changed by the stuff that this man says. I have only recently begun to listen to his stuff and it has me in complete and total awe. Once at his site click on the Podcast button on the top right. Multigenerational Promise, Biblical Headship and The Centrality of the Home has made an impact on us that only a few other things have. The book "Daring to Live on the Edge" and Robert Morris' "The Blessed Life" are about the only other ones that have spoken so deeply to Brad's and my heart. Voddie's stuff speaks as deeply to us in parenting as the other 2 have spoken to us where our finances are concerned. Both Mother and Jackie and Curtis have been moved just as deeply. It is life changing in every way. Take the time to sit and listen when your day is quiet for a half hour or so. It will have you mesmerized, bring out truths and allow you to discover things within that possibly would've gone untouched infinitely.
I can listen to the Multigenerational Promise over and over. He speaks on Jer 29:11, a well known verse I often quote on here. The subject of his teaching caught my attention immediately but the text of what he says blows me away. It took many unexpected turns and shed a light on this verse I have never known before....things I have never in a lifetime thought about. It changed our perspective on so many things and the way the light in which we look at this verse.
Fun in the Water Hose........or Not
As I have stated before as I continue to be in awe of this fact.....we haven't been to the dr for quite some time. I have loved the bliss of staying away for so long. After having the entire staff know the children by name through the fall and spring of '06/'07 I was weary, depressed and desperate. Ear infections, sinus infections, and all sorts of woes seemed to keep us there weekly. Our life changing journey began as we sat out to live in the fullness of the way God intended His children to eat and live. I have been forever changed and so has the entire family. I have mentioned it before but I am just always amazed by the work God has done as we have been blessed as we attempt to live out the way He has called His children to eat and live. There is a very definite purpose for the way He instructs His children in the Bible as far as health is concerned. I suppose I just always dismissed it as "old testament" and "irrelevant". After reading "The Maker's Diet", being so entirely blessed to be surrounded by the health oriented families that God has put us in the midst of and supplying us with the ability to participate in the co-ops and bulk orders that are done I have learned a wealth of info that I have never been exposed to before....and our lives and health have been changed. The congestion, near ear infections and all out sinus infections that have occurred within the last year have been entirely dealt with here on our own by the natural things that God has already blessed us with and that help not only keep infections at bay but promote healthy bodies. I think I'm just still amazed that this stuff actually works and is not a crock of earth minded, green oriented, save the world BS. I have never really considered myself to ever be a tree hugger....and still fall from that category. But the resources God has given us to treat stuff with things He has naturally provided is amazing to me. All of that to say, there is a definite time and place for modern medicine and antibiotics, used wisely, and we hit that point after a year of being able to survive gloriously without it.
Stuff still occurs from time to time though we have been able to waylay any and all medical treatments and antibiotics throughout this past year. The children swam as usual at the end of last week and Brad and I even laughed at the absurdity of some of what Aubrey was doing as she played. She held the water hose up to her mouth and let it run full speed into and back out of her mouth...pretty much doing a jet powered mouth wash. It looked ridiculous and completely and totally like something only a kid would do.
BUT..........all of those things I have read about the water hose...yep, they're not just myths. I shrugged all of the stuff off I have ever gotten from babycenter.com and PW and such websites as they have warned of letting your children drink from a water hose. Afterall, I lived in the water hose and I'm sure I drank 1/2 of Grapevine's water supply when I was little and spending the summer days submerged in the little blow up pool at Granny's. And I never had a problem. So.....just exactly how much harm can it cause............apparently alot. By last Friday Aubrey was complaining constantly of headaches. I didn't know whether to believe her since she has a tendency to love Tylenol and since they hardly ever get any she comes up with ways to get some. But by the 2nd day of non stop complaining and obvious discomfort I began to give her some for headaches. By Sun she had a fever that wasn't alarmingly high and I chalked it up to a viral thing. But by early in the wee hours of Mon morning she was crying of an ear ache and sobbing that her throat hurt. Her voice sounded funny and her tonsils were obviously swollen enough to alter her breathing and her voice. Brad and I began to wonder about strep. By Tues morning Brad called and got her in that day. I couldn't get her fever to break even with the help of Tylenol and Motrin and she had a strange rash all over her body. Brad was on shift so I loaded everybody up and we took off for her appt, as she dozed off and on and was obviously pretty sick. We got in and it was confirmed that it was indeed strep. She was put on antibiotics, the 1st round we have had in over a year. Knowing as much as I know about them now I was desperately wanting to replenish her body of everything the meds strip from it but also entirely grateful for the fact we have modern medicine to use when the need truly arises. I learned that strep is actually a form of scarlett fever and the rash is called scarletina and is common with strep. And I learned even more as I researched and asked the ones that God has surrounded us with that have become an invaluable source of info. We are keeping her good intestinal bacteria up with tons of yogurt and supplements such as acidopholus and probiotics. And it still never ceases to amaze me that her recovery time has been cut in half, less than 1/2, and she is back to complete wellness despite the fact she still has a day of antibiotic left.
But..........all of the info you read about not letting your children drink out of the water hose. Yep, it's true. It is a breeding ground for the worst of the worst in the bacteria world. Brad and I were a bit stumped as to how in the world she managed to get strep in the middle of summer while all of the other children showed no signs of even being anywhere near sick. The dr was full of gloom and doom predictions about how the other 6 would surely come down with it and that she was highly contagious, had to be segregated from them all and basically go into quarantine until she had been on the meds for 24 hrs. We prayed against it and stood against what was spoken over the family and began to brainstorm about where in the world she could've been exposed to it. Obviously, when you are out in public the opportunities for exposure to anything are infinite. But with none of the others ever getting sick, even being as close to her as they were, seemed odd. Quarantine around here is next to impossible, and they all nurse and care for the "puny one". To even come close to keeping them away is torture not only for Aubrey but for the well ones that wish to love on her and care for her as well. Brad finally realized in a brainstorm he had that she was the only one to have played and drunk the water hose water. None of the others ever even messed with it. When Brad was explaining this to the nurse on the phone it was pretty much confirmed that this was indeed the ugly culprit that sent her body into overdrive. We pretty much laughed that swimming day as we watched her fill her body up with some seriously bad toxins that eventually backfired in every way. I felt so bad...but then who would've ever guessed.
So...the moral to that story. No more water hose drinking..at least not in water tank quantities. Preferably not at all, in any quantities.
Stuff still occurs from time to time though we have been able to waylay any and all medical treatments and antibiotics throughout this past year. The children swam as usual at the end of last week and Brad and I even laughed at the absurdity of some of what Aubrey was doing as she played. She held the water hose up to her mouth and let it run full speed into and back out of her mouth...pretty much doing a jet powered mouth wash. It looked ridiculous and completely and totally like something only a kid would do.
BUT..........all of those things I have read about the water hose...yep, they're not just myths. I shrugged all of the stuff off I have ever gotten from babycenter.com and PW and such websites as they have warned of letting your children drink from a water hose. Afterall, I lived in the water hose and I'm sure I drank 1/2 of Grapevine's water supply when I was little and spending the summer days submerged in the little blow up pool at Granny's. And I never had a problem. So.....just exactly how much harm can it cause............apparently alot. By last Friday Aubrey was complaining constantly of headaches. I didn't know whether to believe her since she has a tendency to love Tylenol and since they hardly ever get any she comes up with ways to get some. But by the 2nd day of non stop complaining and obvious discomfort I began to give her some for headaches. By Sun she had a fever that wasn't alarmingly high and I chalked it up to a viral thing. But by early in the wee hours of Mon morning she was crying of an ear ache and sobbing that her throat hurt. Her voice sounded funny and her tonsils were obviously swollen enough to alter her breathing and her voice. Brad and I began to wonder about strep. By Tues morning Brad called and got her in that day. I couldn't get her fever to break even with the help of Tylenol and Motrin and she had a strange rash all over her body. Brad was on shift so I loaded everybody up and we took off for her appt, as she dozed off and on and was obviously pretty sick. We got in and it was confirmed that it was indeed strep. She was put on antibiotics, the 1st round we have had in over a year. Knowing as much as I know about them now I was desperately wanting to replenish her body of everything the meds strip from it but also entirely grateful for the fact we have modern medicine to use when the need truly arises. I learned that strep is actually a form of scarlett fever and the rash is called scarletina and is common with strep. And I learned even more as I researched and asked the ones that God has surrounded us with that have become an invaluable source of info. We are keeping her good intestinal bacteria up with tons of yogurt and supplements such as acidopholus and probiotics. And it still never ceases to amaze me that her recovery time has been cut in half, less than 1/2, and she is back to complete wellness despite the fact she still has a day of antibiotic left.
But..........all of the info you read about not letting your children drink out of the water hose. Yep, it's true. It is a breeding ground for the worst of the worst in the bacteria world. Brad and I were a bit stumped as to how in the world she managed to get strep in the middle of summer while all of the other children showed no signs of even being anywhere near sick. The dr was full of gloom and doom predictions about how the other 6 would surely come down with it and that she was highly contagious, had to be segregated from them all and basically go into quarantine until she had been on the meds for 24 hrs. We prayed against it and stood against what was spoken over the family and began to brainstorm about where in the world she could've been exposed to it. Obviously, when you are out in public the opportunities for exposure to anything are infinite. But with none of the others ever getting sick, even being as close to her as they were, seemed odd. Quarantine around here is next to impossible, and they all nurse and care for the "puny one". To even come close to keeping them away is torture not only for Aubrey but for the well ones that wish to love on her and care for her as well. Brad finally realized in a brainstorm he had that she was the only one to have played and drunk the water hose water. None of the others ever even messed with it. When Brad was explaining this to the nurse on the phone it was pretty much confirmed that this was indeed the ugly culprit that sent her body into overdrive. We pretty much laughed that swimming day as we watched her fill her body up with some seriously bad toxins that eventually backfired in every way. I felt so bad...but then who would've ever guessed.
So...the moral to that story. No more water hose drinking..at least not in water tank quantities. Preferably not at all, in any quantities.
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