Bringing Up Boys

Alright.....some basic rudimentary facts are just taken for granted, I have learned. They have just been assumed that they are well known. And I suppose some of this stems from raising lots of little boys. Brad and I have marveled at times that, though we have a ton of boys and they do some really boy stuff, we haven't quite had any of the experiences that stand out...besides the funny episodes of peeing freely in the front yard with their "water hoses", stepping quite freely and barefooted on any small moving insect kind of creature and getting complete joy out of it, digging for worms, making the world's largest backyard mud puddle and then proceeding to"swim" in it and all of those sorts of things. But, I must add, that Aubrey has eagerly participated in any and all of this behaviour.....well, except for the small fact that she didn't quite have a "water hose" but still joined in the pee-naked-and-laugh-your-butt-off-in-the-front-yard fun. Sooooo.....the defining boy factor of these things was a bit limited since Aubrey had the time of her life doing it all too.



So, we arrive at yesterday. We had..."had" being a very keyword here...... a 3 1/2 wk old baby kitten, which we lovingly nurtured for a mere 4 days or so. I must back up by saying there was something dreadfully wrong with this cat. And it has been discussed and debated on whether he was mentally deficit.....or sick.....or a little of both. In fact, we had even contemplated taking it back to it's owner not 5 minutes before his untimely death occurred, greatly aided....or rather caused, by two 3 year olds. We had nursed him back to, what we thought at the time, was health since we received him with a horrific eye infection in both eyes. In fact, the fact that Grayson and Evye had caught this kitten was indicative of ill health since the others darted at lightening speed in every direction away from them and this particular cat stayed nestled beneath the stairs and did not budge when they approached. We just figured it was because it's little eyes were glued shut with yellow gunked up infection and it couldn't see to get away. But, this poor cat never played the entire time we had it. It wouldn't chase a ball, a string or even really pursue much of anything. It just went from one room to the other and would lay down. It did manage to take up with Gavin on his little floor playmat....and you can only imagine the fate of a 3 1/2 wk old kitten at the hands of a 10 1/2 month old baby. So it was that he got picked up by his neck, his legs, his tail and ear.

Lest I forget...the cat had also suffered at the hands....or paws....of Athena after having lived through Gavin on multiples occasions. We knew that would definitely be the end of the kitten if Athena ever got ahold of it. She is a cat chasing stupid dog and loves to kill birds. We haven't yet quite had the joy of experiencing her getting ahold of a cat yet. But, much to everyone's delight, when the two finally did inevitably meet up she manhandled it and mouthed it relentlessly in her attempts to explore this new living thing and then licked it to death like a puppy. It royally perturbed the kitten and every since that delightful episode he snarled and hissed and made awful howling noises whenever Athena came near. That's about the most life we saw out of him and the most energy exerted in the few days we had him. Seeing as how Gavin and Athena failed to kill off the kitten I guess the Lord just resorted to a fail proof method using, no other than, something that could do the job justice.

Grayson, Evye and Aubrey were devoted to removing this cat from harm's way but the stupid thing would turn right back around and go back to Gavin and curl up between his chubby little legs and go right back outside where Athena could easily access him. You know...we did have a little house for him. So, the kitten and his home were moved outside for daytime hours due to Gavin but his own little house thing failed to please him and instead he laid out in the flowerbed, which left him at the mercy of Athena and her powerful love everytime she got out of the gate. Even outside kitty failed to chase bugs and then resorted to a spot in the playroom and laid there all day when it got too hot or too sick of Athena. Despite the fact it was being bottle fed it still wasn't faring too well so we offered some water soaked cat food, to soften it up a little, mixed with tuna. And then the kitten started puking. Everytime it ate it puked. It wasn't holding anything down and was only eating a tsp at a time, if that. Now, one of Grayson's close friends, mind you, has a kitten from this same litter who is drinking tons of milk, water and eating some small amounts of kitty food. Thus how we came to the conversation of maybe taking it back and exchanging it since it appeared to be "lonely for its family".



So, yesterday morning I stood helping Grayson in the kitchen when Garrison came laughing hysterically through the door cackling between words, "Grant frow da kitty waaaaay up high!!!" and then go into more fits of hysterical laughter. Grayson, Evye and I all looked at each other in horror as I told Grayson to go check it out. They walked upon the scene just in time to see the kitten hit the concrete carport with a giant thud after falling from the heights of the rafters of the carport. Grayson yelled at Grant and in Grant's surprise at being caught He hurriedly picked the kitten up and chunked its limp body and nailed Grayson in the stomach with it. Evye burst into hysterics and lifted the kitten into her hands. She carried its very floppy lifeless body inside and told me they had killed it. Grant was still rolling in laughter with Garrison over the kitty "going way up high". I was shocked. Ok..........this was the most basic of all lessons. We have covered animal cruelty and animal care so many times in life that these should be ingrained right about now. I took one look at poor kitty and knew he was indeed quite dead as his tongue hung out of his mouth and its eyes stared lifelessly at nothing. I was appalled. It looked like the stuffed animal they had put in the cage with him to keep him company. I confirmed the fact he was very dead and went to get Brad, who was just now laying down from being on the medic all night. I told him to confirm it, in the event that it wasn't quite all the way dead. He took it from Evye's hands and I marched in to have the talk of a lifetime with Garrison and Grant.

With Grayson yelling at Grant out of absolute anger and Evye and Aubrey sobbing I called the boys into their room and shut the door. Their smiles still remained but the laughter had quieted. I was at a loss of what to say. Did my kids really just KILL a kitten??? How in the world did they ever think they could ever even do this without any remorse or thought to this innocent victim of their fun loving ways??? How in the world had I managed to RAISE two children that thought this was OK??????? That they could play ball with a kitty???? So, with careful words I asked them why they threw the kitty. Of course, it was like talking to a device that just repeats back every last 3 words that I have said.

"Grant! Why did you kill the kitty???!!!"

"Kill the kitty?"

"Why did you throw him?"

"Throw him?"

You broke the kitty! Why did you break him?"

"Break the kitty?"

"Did you throw it?"

"I throw it?"

Alright....something's gotta give and we need to make some progress on making a point here. Finally after many words on my part and a long conversation with them that was geared to 3 year olds I instructed them they had to LOVE the kitty and they could not THROW the kitty and that they were both getting spanked...since they did eventually fess up to the fact they were both throwing the kitty to each other before they sent it to its sky high heights. And Garrison did in fact "frow da kitty" too. So it was that they got the spankin of a lifetime. It's probably a good thing that CPS will not be doing a homestudy anytime soon. I wanted it to make a lasting impression since I was still in shock over the fact that my children felt the freedom to kill a kitty. After their spankings they then had to sit on their bed for 2 hrs. I had no clue what else to do or how in the world to get across how atrocious and appalling their actions were. While they sat I went in and tried to do damage control with the other 3.

I reminded them that not 5 minutes before that we had actually contemplated taking the kitten back and that we all knew there was something not quite right. I carefully chose my words as I explained that this may just well have been God's mercy on this poor kitty. It was sick and we all knew it. And instead of letting it suffer and watching it slowly die in a painful manner as it starved or whatever to death God did it quickly because He knew our hearts and the fact that we wanted the best for this kitten. I reminded them of how we watched Patty die over the period of a week and how pathetically sad it was to watch her grow weaker and weaker until she could not walk and then finally just woke up to her dead. They then remembered watching Flop, the goat, die after having been so brutally attacked by Tigger. We heard her cries up until the very end, as we tried our best to save her. So, we went through how we have come to learn that death is a part of life and that we have seen MANY animals come and go since living here. The fact that Garrison and Grant helped God along in speeding up the death process was still wrong but maybe He just used them as the vessel to put poor kitty out of his misery....maybe? This was the best I could come up with.

Brad took poor kitty Scout and "buried" him in the gin pasture. That woud be Brad's version of tossing him over the fence into the high grass. When I went in 2 hrs later to retrieve the boys I went back over everything to make sure they really understood what it was they had done...since it all seemed like a pretty fun game. Grant, in all of his mischievous ways, couldn't help but grinning contagiously again as he said, "Mama! Da kitty wanna do somersaults! Kitty do somersaults way up high!" At this point Garrison started laughing again. I went back over how the somersault had killed poor kitty and it was now up in heaven with Tigger and all the goats. Garrison, ever resilient, just stated matter of factly that we could go get another kitty at Wal Mart. Um..........no. They're not getting it here. Kittens, or any other small animal for that matter, are not disposable. I again reminded them that they had "broken" the kitty. They seemed to get that a little better than the whole death thing. No sooner had I spoken than they were asking for a new one. I asked them if they were going to throw the new kitty and both said "noooooooo" shaking their heads back and forth determinedly. I also laid down some rules that they were not to throw the kitty, run over the kitty with their bikes, give the kitty a bath in the water, somersault the kitty, step on the kitty or use it as a stool to reach anything they needed. Then I feared I had given them way too many ideas that had not occurred to them before. Ugh. Oh well.

They were told to go apologize to Grayson, Evye and Aubrey and hug them. Grant obediently went to them, hugged them and said he was sorry for "breaking the kitty". Today, the big black cat appeared. I told Grant he was absolutely not to throw the cat....since I had horrifically learned through all of this that he has indeed thrown our big black cat on a regular basis, unknowingly to me. Then I asked what happens if he throws it. He looked up at me in seriousness and said, "Da kitty breaks."

Point learned....I think. Why is it that they are still grinning in memory???? After discussing it through our own horrified but humorous thought process Brad and I finally came to the conclusion that THAT incident indeed was a totally boy thing to do and one that would make the books. Not that it is ever permitted but it is something in the life of raising boys that will forever stick out. I don't think I ever quite really understood the fact that you have to instruct little boys not to use kittens as footballs and no mater just how badly the kitten wants to do somersaults way up high that they had to be instructed not to give in to the kitty's longings. It is far removed from the porcelain tea sets, necklaces, bracelets, dress-up, and family I'm-the-mama, you're-the-daddy, she's-the-baby play that takes place in the house.

It couldn't help but remind me of the ever loved and cherished book by James Dobson "Bringing Up Boys". It inspired me to once again open it up and reread it, comforting me to some small extent that I am not a bad parent that has failed to teach their children kindness and animal care but just a mom of boys that do very strange but normal boy things. And as a mom it is my job to teach and instruct them in these areas that they are prone to living gleefully out.

A True Home

"A roof to keep out the rain. Four walls to keep out the wind. Floors to keep out the cold. Yes, but home is more than that. It is the laugh of a baby, the song of a mother, the strength of a father. Warmth of loving hearts, light from happy eyes, kindness, loyalty, comradeship. Home is first school.....for the children where they learn what is right, what is good, and what is kind. Where they go for comfort when they are hurt or sick. Where joy is shared and sorrow eased. Where fathers and mothers are respected and loved. Where children are wanted. Where the simplest food is good enough for kings because it is earned. Where money is not so important as loving-kindness. Where even the teakettle sings from happiness. That is home."
Ernestine Schumann-Heink

The Arrival of John Wayne

We did it!!!! We finally successfully added something to our growing menegarie without managing to kill it off! I still stand in some state of amazement and sheer excitement over what this means. I am growing more and more excited about the ever evolving plans that are soon to become reality of our large organic garden, our own milk goats, our chickens for both eggs and meat as our farming endeavors take on a whole new side of life. As we have played and learned it has provided us the teaching aid we needed to really get up and going and turn this into a reality. The birth of John Wayne was huge in that aspect.

We figured out about 5 or 6 wks ago that our female Boar goat was probably pregnant. Since we are down to only the 2 left and they are male and female we were all hoping this would happen at some point. Since goats gestate for around 90 days I figured we had some time before we ever saw a baby, if indeed she was pregnant. But as Grayson mowed the middle pasture this past Tues he came running in excitedly. Usually that means something bad....as in, Fletch got out, one of the goats is dying, if not already dead, or a dog killed something off. But as he crashed through the door he reported to Brad that he thought she had the baby. We all flocked out the door to go see the new arrival. And there he was as newborn as ever....probably not more than 30 minutes old. He wiggled and wobbled and fell all over the place as he struggled to nurse. It was so much fun. Though we missed the birth the children were out there to see the afterbirth.....in which they all got entirely grossed out about. But it was a great lesson in how God created it all and how the baby survived from within. It was amazing. After waiting awhile and finally picking him up we figured out he is indeed a boy. It took all of 30 seconds for everyone to agree on his name. Their attention is now raptly held by the very 1st movies John Wayne ever made and the long ago episodes of The Lone Ranger. I found a DVD at Wal Mart for 5.00 of 30 of John Wayne's 1st films. I bought it thinking it might hold Grayson's attention and be some good old fashioned "shoot 'em out" movies for the long, hot days or inside rainy days. It took all of a few days for them all to fall in love with the old black and white films. It surprised even me. I suppose since we so entirely limit what is viewed in our home it was fun to them to see something other than Little House, Tom and Jerry and Bugs Bunny. After thay fell so in love with those movies I found 32 episodes of The Lone Ranger on Ebay for 3.00. They loved those just as much. And it didn't take long to name the new kitten, that followed a few days later, Scout....that would be Tonto's horse's name. Grayson is holding on dearly to the name Tonto for his horse. So, Scout for the kitten was the next runner up.

But John Wayne, I am proud to say, is doing incredibly well. Instead of intervening we have figured out that the best way to do things is just to let nature takes its course. Instead of bringing him in at night for fear of predators we have left him with his mama, who happens to never leave his side. I awoke Wed morning hoping to discover him still alive and nursing but kind of haf way expecting him to be dead. Pessimisstic, I know. But each morning we go out and he grows stronger by the day. By the 3rd day he was out of the goat shed and following his mama around the front of the pasture. As the week has progressed he has gotten rowdier and is now jumping, hopping and playing good naturedly with all of the children. Typical of any baby goat, he is quite the source of entertainment. It is fun watching him and afternoons are spent out playing with him and watching him jump sideways, kick and figure out his body parts are indeed connected to him and he does indeed have control over them. If this is anything even close to what it will be to have new farm animals every spring and summer I can hardly wait to broaden the spectrum and watch the baby chicks hatch, baby kittens come and whatever else we manage to add to the ever growing farm. I kind of have the Charlotte's Web dream ingrained in the head but I know that's a little far fetched.....as that had to have taken place somewhere farther north and not in dry, arid, hot, desert-like west TX with colleche dust blowing and ragweed standing taller than the babies themselves. Maybe once we get moved it'll be a little greener. As we all know, the grass is always greener on the other side.

So, it is that we have added John Wayne and Scout to our family farm. It is exciting indeed!

Pictures are to follow since we have yet to hook up the memory card reader to the new computer.

Bug Boy

You Know It's Been Too Long

....since you've had a girl when you resort to this. His hair was all messy and after it looking like he'd just awakened all day long I grew tired of looking at him in his orphan like state. Remembering the days of girly-ness when their hair would be that messy and I'd just whip it up into cute little ponytails I decided it certainly wouldn't harm him any if I just experimented for the afternoon. So....here's our little bug boy with his antennas. And I have to fess up.....he was soooo cute!

He's even got the "what are you doing to me????" look going on to top it off.

And here he is after having grown a little more used to it. Grayson said he looked like the newest Jedi to join the force. May the force be with you.

You Know You're a Large Family When.....

I got this awhile back from one of the very dear large family boards I frequent. I loved it and thought it was entirely funny in every way.

- People count the number of your children out loud when you're in public

- you start counting your children when you're out in public

- people ask, "Are they all your's?"

- you have at least three bunk beds set up in your home

- almost everyone you know has less children than you do

- people say,"Wow! How do you manage?"

- people ask you, out of the blue, if you are Mormon or Catholic

- You buy your pots and pans in the restaurant supply store

- supposed "family size" portions seem awfully small

- you complain,"doesn't anyone make large dining tables anymore

- you've heard "don't you know what causes that?" more times than you'd care to remember

- you've forgotten what it's like to be alone anywhere but in the bathroom

- your children never run out of playmates among their siblings

- everything you buy is in bulk

- people ask, "Don't you get overwhelmed?"

- you and your husband can no longer hold each child's hand while crossing the street

- it takes a wonderfully long time to hug and kiss everybody good night

- one of your children looks wistfully at the newborn and asks you, "Can't you have another baby really soon? I hardly get to hold this one because everybody else is taking turns."

- you realize that few houses are designed with your family in mind

- people ask you if you've ever accidentally left any of your children behind

- life around your family never seems boring or dull

- your tent is the largest one on the campground

- you feel sorry for people with only two children

- you sometimes wonder what on earth mothers with only two children do with their spare time

- whenever you set your dining table, it looks like it used to look when you were expecting a lot of company

- you read a cookbook and joke "They call these meals? Sounds like a snack to me."

- your gratitude at the abundance of God's blessing moves you to tears unexpectedly

- you start thinking yourself as "rich in children"

- you secretly think that life in your family might possibly hold much more adventure than life in smaller families

- you are vastly amused at much modern parenting advice, realizing that it is unnecessary, impossible, impractical, or simply silly to try to apply it in a large family setting

- it seems as if you pack more stuff going on a short trip than some people pack when moving their entire household

- you and your husband laugh,"And to think that when we got married, we wanted only four children!"

- your husband sighs happily, "I've finally got my dream cars"--and it's these 2 vehicles

I checked off everyone on the list for us!!! How is that possible??? There was not one that we haven't heard, done or seen. We have 2 bunkbeds...going on 3 after we move, we count kids, we get counted ALL the time..in fact, out of amusement Grayson and Evye have started counting who counts us, we get asked the Mormon/Catholic thing more times than we can count, we've marveled over how small all dining tables are...as we have recently been shopping for a much needed one, Brad teases about our van and school bus....calling them the lead rockets, I've wondered so many times what my friend does all day with just her one baby and what one of the other fire wives does with just her 2 young children, it takes us at least 20 minutes to make the bedtime rounds, my kids are begging for at least twins and hoping for triplets so they have enough babies to hold, we get asked if we've ever left any kids behind...and we have to answer yes, and whoever said you get alone time in the bathroom????, absolutely everything is bought in bulk, and we actually bought our last set of pots and pans from the restaurant supply isle - Brad was so proud...I could go on with all of them! I think the question of a lifetime had to be when my sister and I were out with all of our kids eating lunch oneday a few years ago. At the time she was pregnant with her 8th and I had just had Garrison and Grant. This old bitter hag came up and asked if we were part of that religion where we were married to the same man!!!!!!! I guess 2 women with 72 kids out in public brought to mind visions of polygamy. We still laugh over that one.

And my sister in law just informed me today that with the birth of Baby 8 that we will now be considered a "mega" family. She pointed me in the direction of this website and this was one of their answers on the FAQ page. It's an incredible website. I haven't been there in a very long while and the improvements they have made are great. Their FAQ page, along with their "Advantages of Having a Large Family" page are very well said in every way. But here's their definition of a mega family. I have to say that I can agree that by their terms given that we are now considered a mega family if that is what qualifies. I have always thought mega families were 12 or more children. But we have now encountered all of these deciding factors so I guess we're in that category now. Here is their definition.

"A mega family is considered "larger than large". In some respects these families have what would be equivalent to 2 large families. Classically the term "mega" describes families with 10 or more children. On Lotsofkids.com we have loosened the definition a bit, classifying those with 8 or more children as mega, since that is when the family dynamic changes dramatically for most people (driving a 12-15 passenger van everywhere...or bus!, needing 3 hotel rooms on vacation, etc)

Just some humor for the day.

A Man of the Cloth

I have done it! I am successfully cloth diapering a baby. I feel as if I have attained the frugal and most gentle mother of the year award. It is so much easier and so much better than what I had expected. It took a few days of trail and error to get the hang of it and I suffered through a few leaks on just some pee diapers but that was about the worst of it. I did learn that you need to change the diapers a little more frequently throughout the day and that with overnight insert soakers you have to place the soaker up higher than what I had been doing. I was growing frustrated with it since he would wake up and be soaked along with the bed. So, for a few nights I would cloth diaper during the day and normal diaper at night. But I was determined to figure it out so I just played around with it and asked some questions to fellow friends and experienced cloth diapering moms and they told me to simply move the soaker up so that it begins at his tummy and not down where you would think it does. It has worked wonders and I haven't had a problem since. I wasn't sure how washing would go either but each night I just stick a load in. It's been so easy that even Evye is now washing them. I just toss the cloth bag in too that holds them all throughout the day as they get used. The cloth diapering bag even holds in the smells perfectly and you can't tell a diaper "pail" is even in the room. I'm still just amazed. And I have yet to use all 18 diapers that I ordered....which insured that I will definitely have more than enough to have Gavin remain in cloth while I also cloth diaper the new baby. I haven't put Garrett in any since I figured it was much easier mentally grow with the poop instead of just blasting my way into 25 month old poop. Besides he is very near being potty trained so we don't have too much longer left of his diapering days.

But here we are. I ordered the diapers from a fellow homeschooling mom and this is she and her husband's family business. These are the ones I ended up getting due to massive amounts of recommendations from many different experienced cloth diaperers. They are just 1 size gits all which was of critical importance to me since I have no desire to have 3 or 4 different sizes stashed everywhere for the in-between stages and especially worrying that I would have to order a different size when they start outgrowing the ones they were in. I did experiment a little and the one size truly does fit both Gavin and Garrett. And then I tired them on a life size newborn baby doll and they fit perfectly on it too. I was surprised by how soft they are despite the fact that you cannot use fabric softener with cloth. Here's a few of the up close and personal pics of the diaper itself.

This is what it looks like all laid out before I diaper him up

This is the small little soaker that can be unsnapped for washing.

This is both soaker flaps laid open. The large one is sewn to the diaper to allow it to flap open in the wash to make for excellent washing and fast drying.

And this is it folded up and how I store them. It is velcroed to the wide strip that allow it to fit older babies but the little 2 square velcro tabs are the secret that allows it to fit the newborns.

I still can't believe I'm doing this......not to mention actually liking it. I would even go so far as to say I am thoroughly enjoying it. Brad still refuses to even touch the area of changing him while he's in cloth so he's mandated that if I leave Gavin with him he has to be in normal diapers. I figured I"ll keep working on him and by the end of this and 7 more kids he'll be good to go and quite the cloth diapering expert himself.

OH.........lest I forget!!!! The poop that so scared the crap out of me in every sense of the word......it just falls right off into the commode! It does! You just take it and turn the diaper over above the commode and it just falls right into it and you just flush away! It still leaves a few hash marks but it's NOT like just hanging baby over and taking a poop in the washing machine....as Thomas so lovingly teased about and we are still laughing over. There has only been one diaper that left a little more than I would've liked to have seen go in the washer but it came out just fine and as white as snow...with no damaging effects to the washer. All I do is put 1 1/2 tsp of Charlie's Soap in (it calls for 1 T in a regular washer but with the front loaders you only have to use 1/2 of the recommended amount, which comes out to 1 1/2 tsp. I use the powder in order to save more money and found that I love it and it works just as well as any liquid. Cutting the 1 T in 1/2 also extended the number of loads per small 2. 64 pound bag from 80 loads to 160 loads). Then I put 1 1/2 tsp of straight vinegar in the fabric softener cup for the rinse cycle (this disinfects and kills all bacteria, though the sanitary cycle does any and all germ killing - I just put the vinegar in for good measure). Then, if needed, I do a pre wash cycle or if none is needed I just hit the sanitary or baby wash cycle and we have perfectly laundered diapers in a little over an hour and a half's time. I dry them on high heat and they are done about 20 minutes after they are started.

I thought these were too funny. He was trying to get around me and the camera to see Baby Einstein. After having never taken even the slightest interest in it before suddenly, within the past week or so since we've been home, he is mesmerized by it. I didn't think he'd ever like it. He's just way too interested in sibling ongoings rather than what's on a stationary screen. But he's loving it now.

I just love the feelings of wholeness and fulfillment as a mother that it brings as I gradually transition to wholeness in parenting in every way. I love the homemade baby food, the homemade bread, raw milk, whole foods and The Maker's Diet life changes and now moving on to cloth diapering. There is an indescribable sense of wholeness about it that I never imagined. And there is an extraordinary health that we have experienced because of it. I cannot help but think that it is directly due to some of these major changes in our life. Not that cloth diapers are going to make healthier children but in all it will save us tons within the budget and just seem a gentler way of doing things....and I suppose makes for a healthier environment if you're one of those that take the environment into consideration.

Mother's Day Pictures and Some Inner Ramblings

Well, in the midst of such change going on around here I was having a seemingly endless torrent of mixed emotions about a bunch of stuff. There is a peace in our lives that never has been but with this same peace comes expected and unexpected change, as always. Through His mighty and powerful mercies that extend far beyond anything I ever imagined in life possible also comes the overwhelming task of staying close to a Heavenly Father that requires the utmost of precision obedience. But, oh...I'd hate to get to Heaven and then find out what we missed out on due to being stuck in our comfort zone and being drawn into apathy because we got too comfortable at a certain place in life and didn't trust...or just just chose to forget....that He does indeed have our best interest at heart. Jer 29:11-14 has become the verse that I live on in these days of not knowing what exactly the future holds for us.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with ALL of your heart. And I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all of the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile."

I know that walking in such obedience we will be blessed because He is faithful to promise it over and again in His own word when his children are faithful to obey. I found it interesting that it even said in Jer that He would bring one back to the place from where He sent them into exile. Of course, this could be translated into many things but, for us, it has become quite literal. The way Brad lost his job and the way we left that area was traumatic and we were sent into a form of "exile". It was a very long road to haul and one we thought at times would never end. It was a place though in which we learned some of our most valuable lessons. Lessons I feel so blessed now to have been taught....because I know there are some who will never know and experience in life what we already have. It is a place I feel blessed to be. Thus the utmost importance of staying tuned in and so sensitive to where we feel He is calling us. How sad it would be to halt now the awesome work He has begun in us and the lessons He is teaching. I do not want to become so comfortable that I forsake the real goal and the real reason for why it is we follow Him. I think that what we went through though has a ton to do with how attached I am to certain ideals and things in life and why it is I feel so pasted to things I find so hard to let go of. But I do not want to hold on so tightly that I miss out on what else He seeks to teach us, do in us and bless us with.

I have pondered on these things the last few days and wrote this portion above to some very dear friends. But it portrays in detail my mixed feelings, my love for what God has done and my still hesitant trust in Him that remains an ever growing, ever evolving process. I know He was faithful to provide for us so many times before and we have never been left by Him....though at times I screamed out at Him that He had forsaken us in every way. I know what it is to feel the pain of a seemingly absent God. But through my years of growing up and having to overcome the problems I did and then having been led through what Brad and I have had to deal with and the forced separation in our marriage just in order to make ends meet and survive I was taught some of the most extreme and valuable lessons some people truly never do know in life. There are some that will never have a depth or understanding for what we have been so blessed to have been taught and what we have come to value in our relationship, marriage and family life...not to mention the personal life lessons that were taught to each of us as we matured and grew through it all. In fact, we both actually feel very very blessed to have been chosen to have walked the path we are walking and I am somewhat saddened that some people...most people....will never in a lifetime understand what it is to truly come to a place in life that you truly abandon everything that the world has spoken against you, every expectation that has ever been placed upon your life, every negative judgement that rendered you incapable of fulfilling your life purpose, every person that doubted your sanity when it looked as if the path you chose was the road of insanity and then completely embrace with wild abandon what God has created you to do and called out in you for your very life's purpose. Most people in life never break free. And we have broken free from so many things and still remain in the ever widening process of continuing to break free from what it is God's reveal to us that we are hanging on to too dearly. When He speaks and when He guides we have learned to go....to lay it all down, our expectations of life, our feelings of what we feel we "deserve", any and all attachments that keep us from completely throwing our own selves to the wind for the sake of His calling and what He desires to do in us and through our lives.

I thought these were too funny...way too many things to look at

Alright...just wild ramblings of the inner self. But on that note I felt an aloneness that we needed. There is a huge difference between loneliness and aloneness. And I just wanted to be alone for awhile and process through what it is we walk through, where we have been, where we are going and what it is God is seeking to do in our family.

Since Brad was on shift on Mother's Day he brought home our date night and we celebrated Sat night. I fixed the children pizzas and then put them all to bed and then the 2 of us stayed up and grilled steaks, had baked sweet potatoes, salad and french bread and then, of course, the chocolate mint mousse pie. Steak seems to be the most expensive craving I have these days so he's humored and indulged me and we've made special little home dates out of it....which beats any date out on the town. I love staying home. I love being home. And when you can just chill out by sunset light at your own table and then go snuggle up under warm covers with open windows and west TX winds while we eat pie and watch our movie there is just not really much in the world that can compare. I love being being married to him and I love staying at home and just living our own little life together.

He woke early Sunday and was off for work. I slept as late as is humanly possible when you have a 25 month old that wakes at 6:50 every morning. So, I suppose the definition of late is relative these days. I did manage to get him to go back to sleep with me in my bed for one hour longer. But as the 74 degree beautiful day progressed there was a sort of lonliness that I felt as I thought of my own sweet family celebrating together as Scott hung out and did lunch with Mother and Thomas and Jackie and Curtis sat around enjoying their day as a family. Then I got on a little mini pity party as I sat staring at my own beautiful children but no husband around to help us celebrate the gorgeous day. Even after 10 years of being married and him having missed, at some point or another, every birthday and/or holiday imaginable it still feels a little lonely every once in awhile. And it was just one of those days where it really would've been so much better to have him home with us. In an effort to shake off the blues the children and I all got dressed and headed off for town. It was a beautiful day for pictures and it'd been awhile. The camera happened to be working so I figured we'd use it while we could. Grayson's Mother's Day present was a real genuine Starbuck's frappachino so I, of course, felt obligated to go by there so he could buy it for me and I could indulge for the day. I finally decided a fun place to go without having to wage war with the entire onslaught of the town and their children at local parks.

Well....we're missing one of them but it's still a great pic

After taking the pics and playing for a couple of hours we set off to get snacks and have a picnic/ snack dinner at the station. Brad had not gotten one call all day long but as we loaded up to head his way he got kicked out. And then hit another run immediately after that. So, the children and I just camped out in the bed of his truck and head a picnic. A little fenced in church park lays in the next field over so they ran and played on the very vacant playground while I just hung out and played with Gavin as we watched the sun set. Brad eventually did return and the end of our day was spent in his company.

Did I mention that once again it becomes painfully obvious that you have a bunch of kids when you leave the house and actually get to your destination 30 miles away and realize one of your children has no shoes on.....and there were none in the van to suffice. This has actually occurred before but in previous times we found a pair that was near the size needed that would do the job. But, with the van being newly and freshly cleaned out there was nothing. So it was that he ran barefooted all day and in all pictures he is conveniently missing his shoes. I suppose the large family status becomes apparent when these things come up and you can just carry on without really blinking. But then I suppose it would've been a little different had it been Garrison or Grant and they were one of the ones needing to walk in our group. But, as it is, Garrett still retains his position in the stroller until baby 8 boots him out so the problem wasn't quite the ordeal it might could've been with one of the older ones. But, then again, based on what we did I probably just would've let the older ones go barefooted since all they did was run through grass, climb boulders and run through the prairie side to reach the playground. Who needs shoes for that....if the stickers aren't taken into account.

I'm not really sure we're really going to be able to fit one more on there next year..and had we tried birth order the last 2 wouldn't have stood much chance at staying on

It was nearly impossible.....no, it was impossible......to get Gavin to look at the camera. He was waaaay too interested in outdoor life and all of the little gravel, rocks, twigs, and leaves that were around him. So, most of everything I got of him are just great shots of the top of his head or of his profile. His eyes were red rimmed anyway due to allergies so it ended up that the good ones we got of him were taken later on Monday.

Dangling perfectly.....he did make it up whithout any help, by the way

Best Buddies....I don't think I've ever seen the extreme closeness of a relationship that these two have at such young ages. Garrett LOVES Gavin and Gavin thinks Garrett is about the funniest thing in the world. This is just one of their many sweet endearing love moments.

Aubrey in all of her Aubrey ways rock climbing in a flowy chiffon dress and flip flops

Everybody checking out the joggers...how's that for an audience?

Another funny sheep pic.....I love Grant's arm on Garrison in this one

Picnic-ing in Daddy's truck, waiting for him to get back

He's got 4 teethe that peer through that smile in all of their cuteness. They all 4 finally broke through while we were on our trip.

Really able to see the teeth

And a close up of another group shot...we voted we still liked the other one better (pictured at top of page) even though Gavin has a pleasant little look in this one.

7 Kids, 14 Days, 10 wks Pregnant and 2,810 Miles Behind Us

We are home!!!! Though it is hard to know where home is these days. There is a joy and contented peace that comes with returning to the solace of quiet streets, a green transformed world and winds that whisper gently through the treetops. Back home to wide open spaces for children to run, be free, jump, ride and roam like they never have before. I am convinced more so now than ever that children were created to be outside creatures exploring, discovering and learning about all the world and God's incredible creation has to offer. Neighborhoods were never meant to raise children in......at least not our children. I don't think they have ever been more grateful for the outside and the freedom to run in wide open places and soar in swings that hang from high, lofty tree branches whose many leaves of green shade them from sunny days and sunburns. We returned home to the forever beloved blooms of bright daylilies, pink roses and soft sweet smelling lavender. Though sometimes I begin to wonder if "home" is where my heart stays with these enchanting blooms and gusty, beloved, spring storms and winds or with the strings that still remain firmly attached to sweet beloved family members back home.....300 miles away from where we are. My heart longs to stay but yearns to return home to all that was lost.


But, oh the stories I have to tell!! I suppose when you pair up just half of the parent equation, coupled with early, 1st trimester pregnancy and then 7 young children on a road trip one is bound to come home with more than a fair share of interesting, very entertaining stories. Stories of kids imprisoned within a vehicle for 17 hrs straight, trying to attempt Wal Mart after 10 hours of being confined in carseats, losing children in hotels, carsick kids, tales of 19 children in a mountaintop cabin, winding our way...in a 15 passenger van....up and down small mountain roads that boast curvy, cliffside dropoffs, picnics with 19 kids by rushing mountain rivers, vehicle problems and overheating catastrophes, spilled Koolaid on other people's comforters, camera failure, a few days of sworn insanity and a ton of long lasting memories that will forever be held dear to the ones who are old enough to remember it all. Yes, all of that and much more.
Departure day arrived and the back passenger door on the van promptly and without notice quit working yet again. Yes, this would be one of the few remaining items that the mechanics did not have time to get to before we left. And, yes, this would be the very door that happens to open to the 3 back rows where every kid enters and is buckled into their seats. So....I was a little put out at that one but quite determined not to let it phase the journey that still lay before us. So, the beginning of many days began of loading every kid through the front and back doors. By the end of it we had a perfect routine of Garrison, Grant, Garrett and Grayson all loading through the very back doors and a small pathway carved out of the luggage so each could reach their appointed seats. Evye and Aubrey entered from the front seat and I would hand off Gavin to Evye in which she would then buckle him in. As much of a pain in the butt as it was we soon all reached a point that we no longer took any note of it. It's just what we did. Although I will say it's a little like having a one mile long house and only having an entry point from the front and back door. The absurdity of not having a middle door is quite laughable. And I had my fair share of going between cussing it out and just laughing out of sheer insanity at it.


So, the long road trip had begun in earnest. But in all of it's wonder the van also does not sport a CD player or any sort of entertainment options. So, we were at the mercy of whatever radio station was within range. The 1st 300 miles were easy, as I have all of the stations between here and Dallas memorized. Once we passed the DFW stop music became interesting. At one point we even resorted to one of the 50 Spanish stations we came across. I was hoping the children might be able to translate given their Rosetta Stone Spanish courses. That was not happening but we were all able to figure out the general gist of the song between the 3 of us trying to comprehend.

So, bound for FW we were. We met Mother, Scott and Ashley for lunch...a not so quick one....before we continued on. Lunch was so incredibly great and I found myself not really wanting to leave. It felt a little weird to be blowing through and then leaving everybody behind to continue on into the great unknown. But, leave we did.


The children were all mesmerized by Dallas. Having grown up there I suppose I just kind of always fail to see the grandeur of it. But the buildings were awe inspiring to them so they talked in excited ways as we made our way through the towering buildings, connecting freeways and many cars. All went somewhat well if you do not consider into the equation the 50 million bathroom trips that took place between Dallas and Texarkana. Oh my gosh....their bladders have to be the size of a kidney bean. And letting them have unlimited refills at lunch wasn't exactly an ingenious plan on my part. So....I know the mind's eye is imagining....wondering. Did I take them all in everytime we made a stop. Not just no....but, crap no! We had a routine down of me taking in from Evye on down to the boys while Grayson stayed with Garrett and Gavin in the locked van. Then I came out and waited while Grayson went in and had his turn. Garrett did eventually have his fill of that one though so by the end of that day he was also making bathroom trips with us. Gavin never did get out of his seat the whole entire 10 hrs we drove...slowly making our way to Little Rock. Yes, we managed to turn that day into a 12 hr one in the van...if not a 13 hr one. It was loooooong. The plan was to arrive before dark but that was blown so far out of the water that we were doing good to make it there by 11 pm.

Dare I mention that we stopped at a Wal Mart in Hope, Ark....yes, the birthplace of Bill Clinton himself...and no, we didn't opt for the detour by his birth house. By this time we had been cooped up for hours.....way too many hours. I shall sum up that trip that, if 1st impressions are everything, the town of Hope is probably writing an amendment right now that having more than 1 kid is no longer an option. They'll probably just go straight to the Supreme Court with the plea to have large families outlawed. We all had to pee, of course, so we hit the bathrooms before trying to gather the few needed things I was too impatient to stop for early on in our journey. Declaring to Brad "No, we'll get it later." "No, honey, I'll stop tonight once we get to Ark." He was adamant that I get a calling card in the event that cell phones did not work at the cabin. So, stop we did. I finally just started passing people and saying, "Scuse me. I'm sorry. They've been in the car for 12 hrs." "So sorry! They're a little desperate to be out of the car. They've been in it way too long." Oh, ma'am. I'm sorry. They're just ready to run. We've come from Dallas." Grayson was having NASCAR races with the grocery cart, Evye was hanging on the cart and continually being dumped off and staying mad about it, Aubrey was an absolute chaotic whirlwind that was in and out of the cart and in between every clothes rack there was and Garrison and Grant were fighting in the basket of the cart where they were contained. Garrett was screaching at injustices...who knows which ones....and Gavin was fussy in the backpack I wore. At that point I was close to pleading insanity and turning around to go home. The only thing that kept me from it was reasoning out that I had only 2 hrs until Little Rock whereas home was now no less than 10 hrs behind us.

Once loaded back up I was a little frustrated at this point of our journey and was feeding them all of our snacks to keep from stopping yet again for a meal. No, the Wal Mart McDonald's wasn't happening. After knowing what I know I just can't bring myself to do McDonald's anymore. I have come to love deeply feeding them whole foods and keeping them healthy. We have come too far and we have not seen a dr in over a year now. The road was not the place to jeopardize their heath now. Healthy foods, healthy body. And we have proven that over and again in all of them now. And then something about sitting on your butt for 12 hrs doesn't do much for the appetite. So, they dined on granola bars and some forbidden snack cookies that are never allowed at home. We had trail mix and all sorts of other healthy options along with 118 apples in tow so they had a somewhat healthy balanced snack of a meal. We finally pulled into Little Rock at 11pm and entered into the hotel lobby somewhat quietly and without much ado. Though it did turn a ton of heads.....the heads that happened to be getting in when we did. I had packed an overnight case with everyone's needed clothes and toiletries to eliminate bringing in 1,500 suitcases. It worked well and I had only the one thing that Grayson towed and then the travel crib. We did end up bringing in the food that we reserved for the cabin meals. I ended up feeding them all PB and honey sandwiches, Wheat Thins and pretzels, apples, pudding and applesauce for a very late dinner served up in our 2 adjoining rooms.


The boys were in love with the hotel....at first. It was the 1st time they had ever truly experienced a hotel. They could not get over the fact that "the building has beds!!!! Lots of beds and a bathtub!!!" I longed for Brad to see them see it all for the 1st time. It is so much fun watching children discover life and find new things they had no knowledge of before. They were all overjoyed and filled with delight at arriving and having tons of beds and a place to roam. They camped out on the beds and watched a late night matinee of Blue's Clue's and Spy Kids while they ate and I sat up Gavin's bed. But as bedtime drew near the boys didn't think the beds were nearly the novelty they had before. Suddenly the nightmare occurred that THEY had to sleep in them. 2 hours, many tears and many minutes later spent on the phone with Brad they still seemed no closer to just giving it up and sleeping. Grant seemed to be the worst, in which he then instilled his fear of whatever in Garrison. And, of course, then Garrett followed suit. Good freakin grief. Would the night just ever come to an end???? I was exasperated and far from sympathetic at this point. After yet another phone call to Brad and many words of comfort on his part they finally drifted off to sleep one by one.......at 1am.


Alright..if I keep going like this, this entry will make a book. So, I'll try to hurry it up a bit.

We woke bright and early and I went through the mental great debate on whether to bring the complimentary breakfast up to them all, to just scrap it and get something on the road or to actually attempt taking them all down and sitting for a formal breakfast in the hotel's dining area. I finally arrived at the fact that I have worked way too hard to instill behaviour and character qualities in them and how will they ever live up to them if I never present them with opportunities to do so? So, with everyone dressed and hair fixed we all made our way down. We were quite the entertainment for all travelers that happened to also be staying with us. The children were incredible and we all ate in peace and enjoyable conversation between us all. They had highchairs so Garrett occupied one while Gavin sat contentedly in his backpack. We only had 1 spill, Aubrey's doing, and it was quickly cleaned up by Grayson. I was pleased and it gave me the needed boost of confidence to keep going and that everything Brad and I work so hard to instill in them does pay off. They all ate a ton and I was able to relax and enjoy their company and funny antics.


We headed back up to the room to gather what little there was to load up. At some point in there the hotel phone rang. NO ONE had our hotel room or number and Brad had been using the cell phone. We all looked at each other a little perplexed as Grayson pointed out the obvious with "Hey, Mom. The phone's ringing." I shrugged my shoulders and just said, "Well, answer it I guess." He answered as I continued working. He lowered the phone and said, "Hey, Mom. They want to know if we're missing a kid." My immediate answer was "No! Of course not." But I counted to be sure. Grant was climbing on one of the bathroom cabinets and everybody else was sitting on the bed watching early morning cartoons. But I counted anyway. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. What????? So, I counted again. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. It didn't make much sense to me. I couldn't figure out why I was only coming up with 6. And then I couldn't figure out who in the world was missing. Grayson had already told them that we weren't missing anybody and they had hung up. Once he put the phone down he said, "Well, they just said that if we are he's on the 3rd floor." I hurriedly told him to open the door and see who it was since I was still clueless at this point as to who exactly wasn't in the room. Sure enough........a very long way down the hallway at the opposite end of the hotel was Garrett's short little stocky body being held by some kind woman talking to him. The escapade was completed as 5 of his siblings stood peering out the door and, upon discovering him, all rushed to his aid saying his name as they raced down the hallway towards him. I was too embarrassed at that point to actually accompany them. So, I let the herd bombard the lady that held him as she handed him over to a ton of his concerned siblings. Evye, trying not to kill or injure herself in the process, carried his 30 pd self back to our room. So, with that interesting little turn of events and my feelings of complete and total inadequacy to even figure out which kid was actually missing we headed towards the van and loaded up. I have to admit I did have quite the laugh once I realized that we have so many we can actually miss one and not even know it...and then upon finding out be a little stumped as to who the missing one might be. The whole thing was so absurd that Brad and I laughed over it for a long while afterwards. In an effort to wear their butts out before getting in for another 9 hr day belted in place I found a grassy little area and had them run laps, do jumping jacks, push-ups, sit-ups and run races. They laughed and squealed and wore themselves out for about 10 minutes. We then started another long day in the van. Anyone who has never seen a 25 month old do "sits ups" and "push-ups" has been deprived of a good, deep laugh.


All went surprisingly well except for the passengers in the front that had to listen to Garrett whine, cry and scream for hours on end. By this point he was missing Brad and was not about to let it die. He is attached to Brad in every way and both of us had wondered what effects the trip would have on him and how 14 days away from Brad would go over. Apparently, it wasn't looking too promising. By about 3 hrs into the trip I swore that the trip home would consist of him on the very back row away from the snack box, water and everything up front...including me. And so it was that, true to my word, he occupied the back row on our way home days later and we all rode in much more peace. He was away from all of the temptations and when he did grow irritated he was very far removed from the driver. Even the person pathetically stuck on the backseat with him could move up a row to put some distance between his outrageous temper and their ears.


We finally crossed over into Memphis and the massively overfilled and flooded Mississippi River and made our way to Nashville, crossing over the time zone. We all rejoiced. Knoxville was within a tolerable distance. Somewhere between Nashville and Knoxville Gavin needed a bottle and I decided to change him. Upon unsnapping him in the front seat I quickly came to see that this would be no ordinary diaper change, as he had exploded every elastic boundary it held. I moved him to a picnic table and dug out the needed supplies of wet wipes, baby wash, new diaper and new outfit. We were in for the long haul on this one and there was no quick way out. So, there somewhere on some road side rest stop, the children ran freely through the very green grass and plentiful blooming white dogwoods and purple crepe myrtles while I was up to my eyeballs in poop. With that finally over and 15 bathroom trips later on behalf of everyone that had discovered the novelty of running free and being out of the van we once again loaded back up and started on our way. Delay #104 of the day.


That was the last major detour until we arrived in Pigeon Forge, in which Brad and my communication skills were not at their peak and he promptly, in his effort to help, got us lost. So, at 7 pm we ended up winding our way through the massive mountains of the Smokey Mountain National Park, having missed our turn to the cabin. It was a beautiful drive and had I not been so entirely irritated I might would have actually enjoyed the abounding beauty. A rushing mountain river ran down the land that separated the different directions of traffic. It was breathtaking. The children were in awe. We drove through a long mountain tunnel and crossed bridges and saw things they have never in a lifetime seen. Had I not been so irritated I might could've enjoyed it as much as they did. But, alas...we enjoyed it later in the trip so all was not lost on my irrational, moody behalf.


We did manage to somehow finally arrive and were greeted with hugs from everyone and a plethora of other children. My kids were in heaven. Oh yeah...in our journey up the mountain to reach the cabin we drove around edges of steep, cliffs that dropped off and seemed to deposit any vehicle that dare stray from the narrow path off into the inner bowels of the earth. It had Grayson crying and Evye praying quietly. The others were a bit quiet except for Garrett who kept proclaiming loudly in a rhetorical voice, "Don't fall off, Mom. Don't fall off." Yes, thank you, Garrett.


So, we reached the cabin and were shocked at its luxuriousness. 4 bedrooms with an entirely unexpected loft area, accessible by a ladder, that also housed a bed and dresser. This became a favorite with the children. It had a massive media room with stadium seating and huge recliners for the chairs. The upstairs game room contained a pool table, air hockey table and foosball table along with a pull out sofa. The children spent most of their time up there playing pool and air hockey. Downstairs there was a great kitchen fit for any chef and a huge living area with a huge rock fireplace. 2 of the bedrooms were located off of the living area and had large garden tubs. The other 2 bedrooms were located upstairs off of the gameroom area. It had a large deck in which many chairs sat, along with a picnic table and hot tub. The entire deck overlooked the surrounding mountains. It was like being in a dream. It was a little surreal that we were actually there. So many years of talking of doing this and here we finally were with each friend we had so dearly longed to see. We settled in well and had a long awaited visit with everyone there. It was like coming home to sweet dear friends that I had longed for years to see. It was quite the reunion. Days were spent visiting a petting zoo and picnic-ing high up in the mountains of the National park. Each of us took one dinner so each night's meal was covered. I have to fess up that mine was the sucky one and turned out horrible, but when plagued by morning sickness I have found that not much at all turns out good these days. I mean...like, doesn't turn out good to anyone. I think I just lose heart in fixing any of it since it all looks and smells disgusting. I can't imagine that it was decent to any of the other adults but due to the fact it was a simple bland chicken spaghetti dish, usually a favorite of mine, filled with too much Velveeta it became a huge hit with the children. Oh well. I'll try again next year.


I have to say though that despite the morning sickness the lasagna MN friend cooked and the chicken and rice NC friend cooked were abosolutely incredible. Probably because I had absolutely nothing to do with the preparations of it and didn't have to smell the beginnings of it.
The 1st night we were there everybody set to unloading, in which all van doors...well, those that would work......were opened numerous times. Somehow, not surprisingly, the driver door got left open over night. Grayson discovered it the next morning. It wasn't too much of a shock..as it tends to happen somewhat regularly. What was a shock was the smell that seeped out of it when I went to go get some needed items out of it later that morning. We had yet to take the case of apples out and it smelled a bit as if they were rotting. Way too fresh to rot I questioned it but couldn't come up with a better answer to the perplexing nastiness. In the floor of the driver's seat was a puddle of water and an overturned styromfoam cup. I thought maybe it had spilled resulting in the offensive smell. An unopened Nilla wafer package lay in the puddle which I didn't think much of. It had some of the liquid on it so I picked it up and smelled again. It seemed to be the source of the odor. So, I carried it in and asked the others what they thought of it. Immediately it was deemed "cat pee". Oh............can I puke now?????? Ugh!!!!!!!! It was sooooo nasty. And to think we had to live with the nastiness until it aired out...if it ever aired out. And then to think that I had touched it!!!! So, I went to work on it with what I had on hand...which happened to be a small bottle of Palmolive or something of that sort. It's pretty safe to say it didn't phase it. So, next stop was the cat pee odor elimanator magic...which proved to have no magic at all. So now I had some wild cat pee permanently embedded into the carpeting of our van. It reaked for days. We left windows down when we could but, due to the fear it would return or bring its friends, I was forced to roll the windows up at night and trap in the putridity of it all. To say that morning sickness, despite the fact it seems to be lessening as time goes by, and cat pee smell do not get along is drastically understating the situation.

But, I loved the time we had there.....despite feral, mountain cats peeing freely in our van. I hope that from here on out we find a way to make it happen every year.....meeting up with each other, that is.....not having wild cats pee in our van. Though I think it'd be a blast to try and find a new destination each year since we had so much fun seeing new things and discovering new places. I deeply love and cherish the friends we rendeveuxed with and am already missing them dearly. Oh, what it would be to all live closer! Of the 4 of us that stay in touch one lives in Alabama, one in NC and the other in Wisconsin......and then there is, of course, me in west TX. The children have lifelong friends in their children and they still ask now when we will see them again.
So, after what seemed like too short of a time with each other but, now very ready to get closer to home and back to some routine of normalcy, the day dawned in which it was time for us to leave. As we reloaded all food items, suitcases, sleeping bags, blankets, pillows and travel crib from the front and back doors someone tried the middle door yet again and it blessedly opened. So........we had access to the middle of the van for a few days!!!! I had no clue how glad I would be for that until a few hours down the road.


After taking pics with everybody our journey home began. I had decided to drive it straight through instead of staying in a hotel again. Check out from the cabin was at 10 am and we actually did really good on time and had said our goodbyes and were on the road right at 10. Since I was only going to Fort Worth the drive had been whittled down to 14 hrs instead of the 17 it is if we were to go all the way home. I figured if we left at 10am that would put us there about 11pm since we were switching back into Central time. It seemed reasonable...but then what in the world was I thinking that a 14 hr trip would be a mere 14 trip with just me and all of them in tow?????? They did well, and true to my word, Garrett occupied the farthest back seat. This arrangement worked nicely for everyone and we rode in peace and some fun conversation that ranged from meaningful to just downright funny. Peeing began to take place in earnest about 5 hrs into it so the stops began. I had come up with a plan to simplify and make the trip back home much easier than the one we had going. So, I made a rule for everyone that we stop only every 5 hrs. It would help us make better time and eliminate the work of getting everyone in and out 1,500 times in one day. I figured this would be about when we would need gas so each time we stopped for gas we could all pee. And, amazingly...it worked well! But soon enougt the 5 hr rule was broken due to one not going when all the others went on the 5 hr mark. So, after a little bit of anger on my part, since it had been unbeknownst to me that she had skipped out on her 5 hr opportunity, we made a special stop. So, then another special stop which really had me mad by then since when one goes they all have to go....and I refused to let anyone out on the 1st special stop. We crossed over all of our now familiar landmarks and were soon crusing into the flooded areas of TN and Ark. We had actually thought these areas were supposed to be filled with water until we saw a house sitting in water and then the top of a fence peaking out from under the currents and then a street lamp in which the water was up to its light. After observing all of this we put it together that this was indeed a massive flood in this area. Of course, one I had no clue about it until we were driving through it. I'm sure it had been on the news at some point. But since we have no news here and it never made MSN's front page I stayed quite ignorant about it. So, again we crossed over the swollen Mississippi and into the flooded ag lands. It didn't seem very long before we were stopping to pee yet again at the Ark visitor's travel center. We went in to gather some info for some friends and pee, as long as we were there. Little did I know that once given tourist info that the lady had to take down our personal travel info.....where we were from, where we had been, where we were headed, if we stayed overnight in Ark and how many were in our party. Since I only had Grant and Aubrey with me she asked if it was just the 3 of us. Having no clue she needed the specific info and not really thinking it mattered much who I was with I just said, "Oh, no. I've got a few more in the car waiting on me." She asked how many there were total in our traveling group and I said, still not quite understanding her need for info, "Well, it's just me and my other 5 children." Her mouth dropped. Then she went into totaling them all up since I had failed to proclaim the number 7. Then Aubrey, having learned from the pros, chirped up with, "And she's got a baby in her tummy. She's pregnant. It's a girl baby. (hopeful thinking on her part since we still have no clue what this baby is)" So, then the woman starts a 10 minute conversation about me traveling alone with 7 children, wanting to know their ages, where my husband was and why I was going it alone. She then went on to say how she just couldn't even tell. I figured she was just talking about being able to tell that I am pregnant. So, I just said, "Oh....I'm only 11 wks." She said..."Oh, no, honey . I never would've dreamed you have 7 children. You're too skinny and look like a little stick!" Well......I definitely would never place myself in the stick category and show no signs of going there anytime soon. In fact...in my current state of pregnancy I think I am running at marathon speeds in the other direction of stickidity state. But, I found it was worth the entire trip in there and worth the 10 minute delay just to have obtained that boost for the day.

So, with lighter spirits and everyone glad to have stretched their legs for a minute we were back on the road. Little Rock was not far. It was our stopping destination for dinner, in which we would all pee again and get out. But somewhere between the travel center and Little Rock Evye, who occupied the backseat with Garrett, started becoming increasingly carsick. In an effort to relieve it without stopping, in my tyranical ways, I had her come up front to see if that would ease it. Ummmm...........no. Instead she just puked right beside me into the travel center sack instead of doing it in the backseat where I would have been spared the smell. Little did we know how useful the Ark bag would become or what purpose it was to serve. I finally found the exit that was comprised of our little hotel, some other hotel and a McDonald's. Though it was located on the very outskirts of east Little Rock I was desperate to get out, as was she, and we were at least somewhat familiar with the area. Gavin had become a little fussy, very unusual for him, so I figured he needed out and some food.

Upon getting out of the van we all noticed a screeching, hissing, awful sound coming from within the van's inner regions. I quickly went to check the temperature gauge and all seemed well. It pointed towards being a little warm but not hot. So, we stood at the front of the van and listened to it hiss, screech and moan. We looked at it and were perplexed but I had no clue what to do. I decided then that there was nothing to do. Brad was hundred of miles away and we were miles from any civilization that could actually help us out on the vehicle end of things. And it would inevitably mean spending the night...maybe many...while we tried to remedy the situation. I decided not to call Brad and tell him of the strange noises coming from our van. I figured it would only serve to unnerve him and afterall, what was he going to do........drive 1,200 miles to come get all of us in his quad cab Dodge????? And if I told him he would undoubtedly go insane with worry. So......no....it would do no good to reveal this bit of info I had. So it was that we continued on with him living in complete ignoranance and bliss as to what was taking place. Eventually the hissing and moaning stopped and I was soon to forget about the whole ordeal.


I stretched Gavin out and then put him back in to feed him. He showed no enthusiasm at all over the food and about 1/2 way through the 2nd jar I learned that babies apparently can get carsick too. I found this unbelievable since no one has ever mentioned anything about very young children suffering from this awful condition. So, now there was puke to clean up all the way down him, into the carseat and into the straps and the harness clips. I took a deep breath and just reconciled myself to the fact that the trip home was going to take much onger than I had anticipated. But, what else was new? And the world was very much still ok. Everyone was in good spirits and we were happy. I made up my mind I would rely on a huge Starbucks if the need arose so that I could finish the trip home. We would not be forced to stay in a hotel again...though it was tempting at this point........especially with our familiar hotel within walking distance of where we stood at the moment.


With Gavin cleaned up and in new clothes I reached for Garrett so that we could make the trip in to the McDonald's bathroom. Given the fact that I had brought nothing but healthy fruit like grapes, apples and bananas to snack on for the trip home and, apparently detoxifying, granola and given the fact they had not been able to move all day I quickly deduced that Garrett was not just wet. In fact...what was all in his carseat, filled his shorts and ran down his legs was far from just mere pee. Taking yet another huge deep breath I set to work on him. Once again on our trip I found a picnic table...this time a McDonald's one (lovely).....and had my array of wet wipes, baby wash, good smelling lotion, new diaper and new clothes. That change was not nearly as quick as the one I had been able to do on Gavin a few days before, if you could even consider Gavin's a "short" episode. At this point I was feeling a little overwhelmed and a little desperate knowing we still needed to stop for dinner. On any normal day I would never in my life eat at McDonald's. In fact, I loathe the place. I think it is disgusting. As stated before, I know way too much about food now and I treasure way too dearly what goes into the children's bodies. Plus the fact the food is just nasty to begin with. But, this was no normal day and it has been years since we've eaten at the place. What harm could one meal do? They will not die over 1 meal and, despite the lack of nutritional anything, it will feed them and fill tummies so that we can hurry this thing up. Did I mention it happened to be the only option available within miles????? Thus part of my decision making process. So.....we ate McDonald's. Oh my freakin gosh. I had no clue how used to healthy foods you get until you fill your stomach with a lead bomb like that. It reaked havoc and by the time we reached Mother's house at 1am and all the next day everyone of the children had diarrhea. It was awful. I knew it was no virus since they all complained of stomach cramps after the meal and there was no vomiting associated with any of it. So, out came the Bentonite Clay to begin the internal soaking up of the awful stuff I had willingly fed them. That was enough to cure me of McDonald's for a lifetime. Not only did I now have 2 carsick kids but now I had inadvertantly given them all diarrhea.


As night time fell across the many miles we drove, one by one the children started drifting off. We finally reached Texarkana and drove into one of the biggest storms of the year. There was a huge debate between Brad and I on whether to push onward or just call it quits due to the severity of the storm. It seemed tolerable at the moment and I promised if it got too bad we'd just go ahead and stop or seek shelter under an awning. We barely missed the worst of it and found out later that tornadoes reacked havoc on the nearby areas just hours after we drove through them. It passed a few miles to the east of us so we never knew the extent of how bad the storms really were except for the toerrential rains and blinding pierces of lightening that seemed to strike only mere feet away from the road we drove and electrified the sky, lighting up the world every few seconds.


After a stop for yet another Starbucks, now totaling 2, we finally started getting into familiar east TX territory. And finally we were weaving our way through the brightly lit, belovedly familiar freeways of Dallas. It seemed that the van knew the way to Mother's from here and went on autopilot. The freeways were nothing and the glowing of the buildings in the dark night sky seemed enchanting...if only for a time.

We pulled into Mother's and Thomas' driveway right at 1am so the trip had not been totally blown and it was not too desperately late. The 3 of us gently unloaded a ton of sleepy kids that had been awakened by the storm we drove through a couple of hours before. At last we found our places and laid down and slept for the 1st time in what seemed like a very long while.

The week at Mother and Thomas' was filled with fun. Though the 1st day there I was exhausted to the brink of total insanity. When Grant spilled the only remaning bottle of red Crystal Light on their comforter I broke down. Mother is absolutely anal about the cleanliness and state of her house and is much more rigid in in her ways....thus the reason her stuff lives a much longer life than our's ever does. But I feared her wrath and I couldn't believe it happened to begin with. I tearfully stripped the bed and called home crying telling Brad I couldn't do this anymore and we were coming home. He convinced me to stay long enough so that the children could have their playday with all of Jackie's children, for the visit with Scott on Sunday and for my sonogram on Monday morning. He said I would deeply regret it if I bailed out now.....which I would've. After our 10 years of marriage he knows me well. He gave me the needed strength to continue on and promised that if I would just sleep some I would feel much better. I put the exhausted children down for naps, had Grayson and Evye fold the 15 loads of laundry I had done that morning and then I succombed to sleep with the little ones. I didn't feel too much better when I got up, still dreading the comforter incident and awaiting the time I could take it to the cleaners.


All was not lost, and it ended up that the comforter came completely clean...though it took a week from the time it was given to them until the time we got it back. So, Thomas and Mother were continually and lovingly reminded every night that we were indeed very there in their house and using every square foot of it........even while they were gone during the day hours working.


We did love our time there and thankfully the 1st day was the absolute most taxing due to sleep deprivation and utter exhaustion. This trip was certainly not for the faint of heart. But it was about one of the most rewarding things I have ever accomplished too. Sunday was spent in the company of Scott....in which I loved since it has been so long since we have had time just to sit and enjoy each other's company. The last few times it has been over run in a very fun way with tons of family. I miss being able to talk to him and have only a few others around. It seems the last few times have been huge family gatherings like Thanksgiving, in which all of the extended family is there as well.


We did go to Jackie's and it brought back every reason in the world I miss them so very much. The children played and played like they would never see each other again and embraced their best friends' company for hours. They left with promises of spending a night with them later on during our stay. And so they did and so it was that Evye cried and cried when it was time to return to Mother's so that we could ready for our trip home. Similiar to what she went through last summer when Jackie's crew left here after visiting, she sobbed uncontrollably for hours and there was no comforting her and no solace I could offer. I finally figured this out and she ended up just crying herself to sleep. She cried for Milly and Mercy and for the many years it would be before she would ever see them again. Meladramatic as she is, it still broke my heart to see her so broken and so very hopeless over having to leave them yet again. I think it is just any parent's desire to see their children thrive and when parents see a truly dynamic relationship in which there is a bosom friend born they are driven to nurture it and let it grow. Everytime she goes through this I feel as if I am destroying it yet again. She has other close friends but she has yet to feel for anyone the way she does about Milly and Mercy and all of Jackie's girls. She loves them more than life itself. Grayson, Curtis and Pearce spent the day shooting bullfrogs and were in their own heaven. Grant and Charles hit it off, though they had no clue what each other's names even were. It was hysterically funny but so sad to me at the same time. I want our children to KNOW each other and to have the relationships that I dreamed of them having while we grew up. And they have the desire to have that, though the miles tear them away from each other and make it impossible at this point. Grant has aked everyday to go back to Aunt Jackie's house and play with "the boy". And there is not a day that goes by that Evye does not check the calendar and count the days until Milly's birthday in June, in which she has been promised a trip back up there to celebrate with her.


After our very 1st day spent there we readied everyone to leave and Grayson started the van to get the a/c going. Not very long after that Madison came in reporting that our van was smoking. Hmmmm........not good. I went out and indeed gray smoke seemed to billow from beneath the hood. With everyone having already been buckled in I gave the order to unload everybody...in the event that it blew up. I turned it off and again it made the eery hissing, moaning, screeching sounds that had occured in Little Rock. In my highly skilled, experienced mechanic ingeniousness I came to the conclusion that it had something to do with the radiator fluid...or something of that sort. The cap was off and whatever neon green fluid had filled the container had splashed up onto the battery and corroded it and the container was now emtpy. It seemed to be an important component that needed liquid so I figured this had to be the source of the problem. I called Brad and based on what helpful info I could give him he reached the same conclusion. Curtis returned home from work about that time so he took over........ever so thankfully on my part. This time the temperature gauge did read that it was so hot that it couldn't even go any farther into the red. Each time I turned it on and then off it was faithful to moan, hiss and bellow. It was so loud, in fact, that Brad could hear it from his cell phone status. So, Curtis filled the empty container, that was desperatly needing liquid, with water so that we had enough to get it to help. The mechanics that worked on it before we left, assuring our safety and that everything within was perfectly capable of making a 2,800 mile trip, had said that if anything dare go wrong in our journey that we could take it to the nearest chain of their's and they would fix it since it was all under warranty and they would even tow it for free. Seeing the water Curtis was filling it with pour out from under the hood certainly indicated this was going nowhere good. We all thought it bought us enough time to make the short drive there....but, alas....only 2 short minutes later it was smoking again and making awful demonic noises. After talk ran between all of the men it was decided it had to be towed.....or I would need to be stopping every few quarter miles to put water into it. No good. Despite the fact that Mother was now there on scene also to follow me to the car garage it seemed driving it there was going to do more harm than good. So, it was decided that it needed to be towed. I collected everything from within and after waiting awhile we left it in Jackie and Curtis' driveway to be towed and the children and I all piled into Mother's quad cab Dodge and made the trip back to her house. Yes......that would be 9 people in one Dodge. And it would remain that way for 2 entire days. They told Brad Sat afternoon that it would be ready at 5:30 and that the children and I needed to be there promptly, as they closed at 6. Fair enough. We planned our day around that and all 9 of us made our way back to Flower Mound and where the van sat. But we arrived only to find it far from ready. We told them we'd go grab a bite to eat and they assured us that it would be ready when we returned. We returned an hour later and still it sat high up on the car rise in the garage. So, our wait began. If you have never waited 3 hrs with young 7 children in a busy parking lot that happenes to be the main thoroughfare for a grocery store you have never truly experienced life. By about 30 minutes into it I had them all piled out of the truck...as we were all growing quite claustrophobic. By an hour into it they were running around in the parking lot. By 2 hrs into it they were growing quite feral and I resorted to a mini bootcamp for kids, similiar to what I had done at the hotel the morning before we loaded up...though this bootcamp lasted for a good 45 minutes, not the mere 10 that the hotel one had...... in which I had them all doing jumping jacks, one legged races, sit-ups, push-ups, balancing on yellow parking lines and doing heel/toe touches. That seemed to wear them out somewhat. We then continued on with duck, duck goose, I spy, the quiet game and any other thing my exhasperated mind could think of. By 3 hrs into it I was really mad. It was now 9 pm, we had planned to attend church the next day and it was an hour past their bedtime....but they still were not even close to being ready for bed. In fact...they were now quite black from rolling around all over the parking lot.


With all of the dignity and diplomacy I could muster I went in and kindly told them that we were leaving. Again they said, this time a little defensively......"We are done!! Just one more thing. It'll take about 5 minutes. We can't let this vehicle go until it passes the whatever test. It is in your best interest and we are protecting you." I said with a surprising kindess and in an understanding of their own predicament that I knew it was no fault of their own and I had no doubt that it was probably posing a problem passing the test. And then I thanked them for their tireless and continuing effort.....but I had 7 children that had been waiting for 4 hrs now and it was now an hour and a half past their bedtime. We would be back tomorrow to pick it up. So, again we all crammed in like little sardines into Mother's truck , due to no other option at this point, and we made our way back to her house. On Sunday Thomas was home so while we awaited Scott's arrival we left the napping little ones with him and just Mother, Grayson, Evye and I spread out within the truck and went to pick the van up. So, now 2 days later we had transportation again....maybe. It was indeed ready and waiting when we got there.....though it still smelled like cat pee. I forgot to forewarn the mechanics about that one. It was so bad I was embarrassed that anyone would be forced to get into it and think we allowed that or were so trashed out that our animals just pee freely all over everything. I felt embarrassed that we had left a large family impression of stink, filth and disorganization since that pretty much summed the van up.


So, 2 days later and a very pretty, shiny penny later I was back to having transportation again. We found out later that all that went wrong was not worked on the 1st time since it had been inspected and deemed "good" and no one thought it needed any work on those areas. Apparently they were terribly misled by what they saw....or never looked at. But the little overheating incident blew something like the alternator, radiator and timing chain. All had to be replaced....which now happen to be under warranty along with the vast majority of everything else now under the hood. They started to charge us the towing fee since "the broken parts were not associated with any of the work that had been done before." But I threw a fit so they did manage to take that off of our bill. It still was far from cheap. But even as I was tempted to get a little disheartened about it and the vast amount of money that had to be unexpectedly forked up I thought back on our episode in Little Rock and became overwhelmingly grateful that it had not ended like it had in Jackie's driveway and that we were not stranded in a McDonald's parking lot or on the side of some interstate hundreds of miles away from home. It could've been sooooo much worse. Though everybody was in a state of disbelief when I coughed up what had occured in Little Rock and the fact that I had never mentioned any of it to Brad. I had no clue the severity of what was happening under the hood. And I think we were incredibly spared what could've gone really really wrong so very many miles away from familiar homeland.

So, we celebrated Madison's 14th birthday while we were there again on Th night for their Bible study and then left for home Sat morning...exactly 14 days since we had pulled out of the driveway in anticipation of the many adventures that lay ahead.

The trip home was a short one. No one wanted to stop and they were all anxious to get back to their trampoline and bikes. So, we made it in a record 3 hrs straight. And a joyous reunion it was. Brad had cleaned the house and done the remaining wash I had not been able to get to. He had fixed the children's favorite, spaghetti, for their dinner and then fixed a huge welcome home dinner of steak, baked sweet potatoes and salad for the 2 of us. Yes...it was good to be home. Grant, on emotional overload went from laughing excitedly to a torrent of tears upon seeing Brad. Garrett fell right in by his side saying "Daddy!!!!!" non stop. I didn't think he was ever going to let go of him and once put back down on the ground so everyone could unload I didn't think he'd ever let go of his leg. He stayed firmly attached to him. Even Gavin squealed with excitement and fell into his arms once he saw him. He had PLENTY of people waiting to be held by him. His arms were occupied for hours that night.

So......that about sums up our days on the road. I'm sure I'll think of things I left out as they come to mind but I'm quite sure that covered the major stuff. Oh.......besides the fact the camera died the day before we left TN. So, I'll load what pictures we were able to get but the rest of our trip was, sadly, not captured on camera. It got some of the really good parts of TN though. I think we've messed with it enough that we have brought it back to life until we can get another. So, hopefully I'll get some Mother's Day pics tomorrow.

Oh.....did I ever mention that the van door, after having it work for about 4 amazing days, succombed and reverted back to its state of refusing to serve the backseat passengers well. So, by the middle of the week at Mother's we were once again loading everyone from the front and very back doors. We even managed to vacuum out the entire van like this!

Alright, forgive any and all misspellings, as spell check only went half of the way through this. I think it's too long for Blogger spell check to comphrehend. I'll proof read tomorrow when it's not 2 am.