Bringing Up Boys

Alright.....some basic rudimentary facts are just taken for granted, I have learned. They have just been assumed that they are well known. And I suppose some of this stems from raising lots of little boys. Brad and I have marveled at times that, though we have a ton of boys and they do some really boy stuff, we haven't quite had any of the experiences that stand out...besides the funny episodes of peeing freely in the front yard with their "water hoses", stepping quite freely and barefooted on any small moving insect kind of creature and getting complete joy out of it, digging for worms, making the world's largest backyard mud puddle and then proceeding to"swim" in it and all of those sorts of things. But, I must add, that Aubrey has eagerly participated in any and all of this behaviour.....well, except for the small fact that she didn't quite have a "water hose" but still joined in the pee-naked-and-laugh-your-butt-off-in-the-front-yard fun. Sooooo.....the defining boy factor of these things was a bit limited since Aubrey had the time of her life doing it all too.



So, we arrive at yesterday. We had..."had" being a very keyword here...... a 3 1/2 wk old baby kitten, which we lovingly nurtured for a mere 4 days or so. I must back up by saying there was something dreadfully wrong with this cat. And it has been discussed and debated on whether he was mentally deficit.....or sick.....or a little of both. In fact, we had even contemplated taking it back to it's owner not 5 minutes before his untimely death occurred, greatly aided....or rather caused, by two 3 year olds. We had nursed him back to, what we thought at the time, was health since we received him with a horrific eye infection in both eyes. In fact, the fact that Grayson and Evye had caught this kitten was indicative of ill health since the others darted at lightening speed in every direction away from them and this particular cat stayed nestled beneath the stairs and did not budge when they approached. We just figured it was because it's little eyes were glued shut with yellow gunked up infection and it couldn't see to get away. But, this poor cat never played the entire time we had it. It wouldn't chase a ball, a string or even really pursue much of anything. It just went from one room to the other and would lay down. It did manage to take up with Gavin on his little floor playmat....and you can only imagine the fate of a 3 1/2 wk old kitten at the hands of a 10 1/2 month old baby. So it was that he got picked up by his neck, his legs, his tail and ear.

Lest I forget...the cat had also suffered at the hands....or paws....of Athena after having lived through Gavin on multiples occasions. We knew that would definitely be the end of the kitten if Athena ever got ahold of it. She is a cat chasing stupid dog and loves to kill birds. We haven't yet quite had the joy of experiencing her getting ahold of a cat yet. But, much to everyone's delight, when the two finally did inevitably meet up she manhandled it and mouthed it relentlessly in her attempts to explore this new living thing and then licked it to death like a puppy. It royally perturbed the kitten and every since that delightful episode he snarled and hissed and made awful howling noises whenever Athena came near. That's about the most life we saw out of him and the most energy exerted in the few days we had him. Seeing as how Gavin and Athena failed to kill off the kitten I guess the Lord just resorted to a fail proof method using, no other than, something that could do the job justice.

Grayson, Evye and Aubrey were devoted to removing this cat from harm's way but the stupid thing would turn right back around and go back to Gavin and curl up between his chubby little legs and go right back outside where Athena could easily access him. You know...we did have a little house for him. So, the kitten and his home were moved outside for daytime hours due to Gavin but his own little house thing failed to please him and instead he laid out in the flowerbed, which left him at the mercy of Athena and her powerful love everytime she got out of the gate. Even outside kitty failed to chase bugs and then resorted to a spot in the playroom and laid there all day when it got too hot or too sick of Athena. Despite the fact it was being bottle fed it still wasn't faring too well so we offered some water soaked cat food, to soften it up a little, mixed with tuna. And then the kitten started puking. Everytime it ate it puked. It wasn't holding anything down and was only eating a tsp at a time, if that. Now, one of Grayson's close friends, mind you, has a kitten from this same litter who is drinking tons of milk, water and eating some small amounts of kitty food. Thus how we came to the conversation of maybe taking it back and exchanging it since it appeared to be "lonely for its family".



So, yesterday morning I stood helping Grayson in the kitchen when Garrison came laughing hysterically through the door cackling between words, "Grant frow da kitty waaaaay up high!!!" and then go into more fits of hysterical laughter. Grayson, Evye and I all looked at each other in horror as I told Grayson to go check it out. They walked upon the scene just in time to see the kitten hit the concrete carport with a giant thud after falling from the heights of the rafters of the carport. Grayson yelled at Grant and in Grant's surprise at being caught He hurriedly picked the kitten up and chunked its limp body and nailed Grayson in the stomach with it. Evye burst into hysterics and lifted the kitten into her hands. She carried its very floppy lifeless body inside and told me they had killed it. Grant was still rolling in laughter with Garrison over the kitty "going way up high". I was shocked. Ok..........this was the most basic of all lessons. We have covered animal cruelty and animal care so many times in life that these should be ingrained right about now. I took one look at poor kitty and knew he was indeed quite dead as his tongue hung out of his mouth and its eyes stared lifelessly at nothing. I was appalled. It looked like the stuffed animal they had put in the cage with him to keep him company. I confirmed the fact he was very dead and went to get Brad, who was just now laying down from being on the medic all night. I told him to confirm it, in the event that it wasn't quite all the way dead. He took it from Evye's hands and I marched in to have the talk of a lifetime with Garrison and Grant.

With Grayson yelling at Grant out of absolute anger and Evye and Aubrey sobbing I called the boys into their room and shut the door. Their smiles still remained but the laughter had quieted. I was at a loss of what to say. Did my kids really just KILL a kitten??? How in the world did they ever think they could ever even do this without any remorse or thought to this innocent victim of their fun loving ways??? How in the world had I managed to RAISE two children that thought this was OK??????? That they could play ball with a kitty???? So, with careful words I asked them why they threw the kitty. Of course, it was like talking to a device that just repeats back every last 3 words that I have said.

"Grant! Why did you kill the kitty???!!!"

"Kill the kitty?"

"Why did you throw him?"

"Throw him?"

You broke the kitty! Why did you break him?"

"Break the kitty?"

"Did you throw it?"

"I throw it?"

Alright....something's gotta give and we need to make some progress on making a point here. Finally after many words on my part and a long conversation with them that was geared to 3 year olds I instructed them they had to LOVE the kitty and they could not THROW the kitty and that they were both getting spanked...since they did eventually fess up to the fact they were both throwing the kitty to each other before they sent it to its sky high heights. And Garrison did in fact "frow da kitty" too. So it was that they got the spankin of a lifetime. It's probably a good thing that CPS will not be doing a homestudy anytime soon. I wanted it to make a lasting impression since I was still in shock over the fact that my children felt the freedom to kill a kitty. After their spankings they then had to sit on their bed for 2 hrs. I had no clue what else to do or how in the world to get across how atrocious and appalling their actions were. While they sat I went in and tried to do damage control with the other 3.

I reminded them that not 5 minutes before that we had actually contemplated taking the kitten back and that we all knew there was something not quite right. I carefully chose my words as I explained that this may just well have been God's mercy on this poor kitty. It was sick and we all knew it. And instead of letting it suffer and watching it slowly die in a painful manner as it starved or whatever to death God did it quickly because He knew our hearts and the fact that we wanted the best for this kitten. I reminded them of how we watched Patty die over the period of a week and how pathetically sad it was to watch her grow weaker and weaker until she could not walk and then finally just woke up to her dead. They then remembered watching Flop, the goat, die after having been so brutally attacked by Tigger. We heard her cries up until the very end, as we tried our best to save her. So, we went through how we have come to learn that death is a part of life and that we have seen MANY animals come and go since living here. The fact that Garrison and Grant helped God along in speeding up the death process was still wrong but maybe He just used them as the vessel to put poor kitty out of his misery....maybe? This was the best I could come up with.

Brad took poor kitty Scout and "buried" him in the gin pasture. That woud be Brad's version of tossing him over the fence into the high grass. When I went in 2 hrs later to retrieve the boys I went back over everything to make sure they really understood what it was they had done...since it all seemed like a pretty fun game. Grant, in all of his mischievous ways, couldn't help but grinning contagiously again as he said, "Mama! Da kitty wanna do somersaults! Kitty do somersaults way up high!" At this point Garrison started laughing again. I went back over how the somersault had killed poor kitty and it was now up in heaven with Tigger and all the goats. Garrison, ever resilient, just stated matter of factly that we could go get another kitty at Wal Mart. Um..........no. They're not getting it here. Kittens, or any other small animal for that matter, are not disposable. I again reminded them that they had "broken" the kitty. They seemed to get that a little better than the whole death thing. No sooner had I spoken than they were asking for a new one. I asked them if they were going to throw the new kitty and both said "noooooooo" shaking their heads back and forth determinedly. I also laid down some rules that they were not to throw the kitty, run over the kitty with their bikes, give the kitty a bath in the water, somersault the kitty, step on the kitty or use it as a stool to reach anything they needed. Then I feared I had given them way too many ideas that had not occurred to them before. Ugh. Oh well.

They were told to go apologize to Grayson, Evye and Aubrey and hug them. Grant obediently went to them, hugged them and said he was sorry for "breaking the kitty". Today, the big black cat appeared. I told Grant he was absolutely not to throw the cat....since I had horrifically learned through all of this that he has indeed thrown our big black cat on a regular basis, unknowingly to me. Then I asked what happens if he throws it. He looked up at me in seriousness and said, "Da kitty breaks."

Point learned....I think. Why is it that they are still grinning in memory???? After discussing it through our own horrified but humorous thought process Brad and I finally came to the conclusion that THAT incident indeed was a totally boy thing to do and one that would make the books. Not that it is ever permitted but it is something in the life of raising boys that will forever stick out. I don't think I ever quite really understood the fact that you have to instruct little boys not to use kittens as footballs and no mater just how badly the kitten wants to do somersaults way up high that they had to be instructed not to give in to the kitty's longings. It is far removed from the porcelain tea sets, necklaces, bracelets, dress-up, and family I'm-the-mama, you're-the-daddy, she's-the-baby play that takes place in the house.

It couldn't help but remind me of the ever loved and cherished book by James Dobson "Bringing Up Boys". It inspired me to once again open it up and reread it, comforting me to some small extent that I am not a bad parent that has failed to teach their children kindness and animal care but just a mom of boys that do very strange but normal boy things. And as a mom it is my job to teach and instruct them in these areas that they are prone to living gleefully out.