Oceans of Love

I will make this quick, as we are going to attempt church tomorrow, despite the week I've had. But last night as Grant woke up disoriented and crying I finally fumbled my way down the dark hall and to him in his room. I was met at the children's bedroom door by a sleepy eyed, crying Grant who stood with his blue puppy in one hand, his brown mama and baby lion in the other and a football tucked up under his arm. He stood crying looking so little. I knelt down to hug him and asked him what he needed. The sweetest answer in all of the world followed in whispered tones by a gruff, groggy little voice, "I need you, mama. I jus' need you."

And Gavin has been laughing for about a week now. There is no sweeter sound than to hear each baby's 1st laugh. As I sit and nurse now he will smile and coo up to me. As I conversed back with him apparently something struck him as funny and he went into fits of uncoordinated baby chuckles. He hasn't quit since. And our sweet Gavin's hair is finally long enough to swirl in mesmerizing patterns on his perfect little head. Swirling hairs of red. Though it is still not Grant's red we do have yet another red head in the family.....at least for now. It may fall out and come in to be yet another blond but, for now, we have another more-strawberry-than blond head of baby hair. He is so perfect in every way. How can I fall so in love all over again? How is it that after 7 children you can be so entrenched in love that you feel as though you will drown in your contentment and absolute oceans of it? How is it possible to fall so deeply in love with yet another human being so much?

Healing Words

Here I sit just wanting to write.....to say something, but with nothing really on my heart or really humorous that is worthy of any note. I think it must be the melancholy of the numerous pounds of Tylenol and Advil now in my system, now with Keflex and Benadryl added to that combination of meds. Lovely. That can't be healthy. But it kept me functioning when I had to keep functioning. Sometimes in the war I wage with my own health and body I can get somewhat down and a little disheartened when I think back on what my medical background has "predicted". The words of my doctors and allergists still haunt me and ring in my ears at times when I get so insanely sick, as I have been this past week. We finally resorted to an IV last night. The predictions of dr's and allergists proclaiming that my allergies, being so severe, would force me to carry an epi pen at all times and that by the age of 26 when my immunity level hit it's height of protection I would then begin the fall downhill. Eventually by the age of 30, predictions stated, I would be hospitalized 6 months out of the year. My life would supposedly consists of ongoing trips in and out of hospital doors. At the time I cried. I cried for days after the initial "prediction". And then, somewhere in there, after feeling so powerless I finally had a change of heart, mind and soul. I have been created by the Almighty Healer and the Great Physician. I was not called to live a life succumbing to sickness and fear...or giving in to the fear that my sickness created. I firmly believe in the power of words and praying the Bible.....not just praying for the "I wants" and "pleases". There are too many Scriptures directly related to God's Almighty Power and His perfect ability to heal. To ignore and succumb to a life ravaged by sickness, fatigue and spoken words of ill health and defeat would be to deny His miraculous ability to work within me. After devouring Charles Capps' writings over the last few months I have come to understand what I have felt for so very long and been proclaiming in my life but that I could never really shape into words. If you have not ever read his little tiny, tiny books you have truly missed out on some of the very best, most empowering, most moving knowledge written by a Christian. Years ago I began to speak what I believed to be the truth for me.......just as I began to speak what I believed the truth and will to be after Garrison's "diagnosis" of asthma. In Charles Capps' very first book of God's Creative Power he says,

"Faith filled words will put you over. Fear filled words will defeat you. Words are the most powerful thing in the universe. Spoken words program your spirit (heart) either to success or defeat. Words are containers. They carry faith, or fear, and they produce after their kind."

"Confess victory in the face of defeat. Confess abundance in the face of apparent lack."

And the most convicting and that held the most revelation for me was what God revealed to him and the message He wanted Charles to proclaim in his teachings,

"I have told my people they can HAVE WHAT THEY SAY, but they are SAYING WHAT THEY HAVE."



He speaks of the importance of actually praying the Bible. A point that many books on prayer make. He then goes into how to pray the Bible and what a faith filled life truly looks like and how it is modeled. There are so many people, so very many Christians, that I personally know that walk around muttering exactly this and only confirming this last point to be very true. People speak so very much crap on themselves. After I read and began taking note it was almost an instant awareness of what people are speaking both on themselves and others. But what one continues to repeat over and again comes to pass because this is what they have come to believe in their heart. And as my awareness grew I came to notice this point very directly applies to money and health. There is a sickness and poverty mentality that seems to hold the world in a death grip. And Satan could not be happier since He has God's people exactly where He wants them......incapable of completely living in God's wholeness and truly functioning 100% in HIS Spirit........in issues of finances, health, childbirth, job situations, in a ton of stuff. I've noticed greatly that some people even take pride in these issues. There is a pride that goes along with having a sickness.....it becomes an escape route, another way to have attention focused on themselves or even a way to avoid what they fear the most...whatever that might be. Possibly the fear of responsibility that having money brings, the fear of the responsibility of getting weight off, the fear of pain, the fear of failure, fearing the lack of attention if they are totally well with no special needs. Sometimes it's even a fear of facing the true innerself, I believe. Health, a poverty mentality and so many other issues become a way to hide away from what one fears or just has no desire to deal with.

Along this road I have noticed that once that mentality grabs hold of someone it is very hard to let go. A habit has been imparted of speaking defeat upon themselves and making excuses for what they never in a lifetime will probably ever accomplish....just due to the sheer fact of not taking the power they have in the very name of Jesus Christ, the Christ they proclaim to know, to accomplish it. They stop short of all the wholeness He gave when He gave His very own life on the cross so that we could be saved and perfected in Him......so that we could be continually refined to mirror His image as a testimony for others here in our time on earth.

So, I found that when I continually am telling myself how sick I am and believing what mortal dr's have "diagnosed" I am choosing to continue on in my average Christian life...forsaking the incomprehensible power that I have been given as a Spirit filled, believing Christian to speak out and take hold of my healing through the blood of Jesus Christ. So does that mean I will never get sick another day in my life? Obviously, no. But it does mean that when it does occur I have the faith filled power to speak out against it and take control over it with the power I have been given in the name of Jesus. And if one day I just spontaneously die due to an allergic reaction so severe that my throat does close up too soon, then that is the day I was supposed to be welcomed into heaven.....but all the days before that were lived in the wholeness of a faith filled life. Each day before that was at least enjoyed and not living out the defeat of a sickness that never let me experience life. I lived and spoke out to it and broke the chains of the potentially crippling capacities it could've forced upon my mind and body had I let it.

So, as much as I believe these deep heart truths I still find it hard sometimes to fight the inner struggle as dr's predictions toss about like tumultuous waves in my mind. So, I speak out to the storm and say, "Peace, be still." I refuse to speak or even live like I am sick. Is it denial? No, I don't think so. I believe it is living in the very faith that my healing has already taken place in the blood that dripped from the cross where He gave His life so that I could live in the fullness of Him, both in heaven and on earth. Do I get sick alot? Yep, I do. But do I have the faith to overcome and the faith to take control of it. Yep, I do. I speak to my sickness in the name of Jesus. I speak to my overall health in the name of Jesus. I speak because I have the power to take control of it in the name of Jesus.

And, you know, as stupid as this sounds it made an incredible lasting impression of a lesson for me. But oneday a few days after Flop was brutally killed by Tigger I grew weary of waiting for Brad to switch the animals' pastures. I stayed a nervous wreck. So, being one to take the bull by the horns and get the job done I rounded up the children and set to work. I don't think I ever got around to blogging this. It would've been worth it all though. But, I dewormed the 3 remaining goats and then Grayson and I spent a good hour roping them and beginning the pasture switching process. Visions of Fletch running though town floated fearfully through my head. If the thought hadn't been so scary it would've been funny. Brad was on shift so I hadn't quite come up with a "round up" plan if he were to take off once again, running wildly around visiting every neighbor and eluding all attempts of capture. So, after setting him loose into the ungated middle pasture we worked on getting him into his original pasture up by the dogs. Yes, I know. Where is this going and how in the world did I even end up on this bound-for-nowhere story? I'm still getting there.

So, being quite the smart donkey that he is, he knew exactly that he was free and started bucking wildly. That wild, cantankerous, evil eyed donkey look filled his eyes. The look that says he is free and is taking off. At that point my heart and head began to pound at different intervals and it began to feel as if I was out of control of both my own body and this stupid huge animal. To say he was rowdy is not even beginning to come close to what he was portraying himself to be out there in that pasture. And to know that it is was just me up against a stubborn donkey that possesses a mind already made up.........a mind that knew he was headed east to greener grass..........was alarmingly frightful. So, suddenly the Lord began to speak and He made me painfully aware of the fear that held me captive and bound me from even taking control of the situation. The words rang through my ears that I have indeed been given dominion over all the animals of God's creation and I have the power to speak to them. If God can speak out His perfected faith and give us the power to use His creative power and He directly tells us we have dominion over the animals than surely I have the ability to take control over the situation that presented itself before me. So, I yelled at Fletch laughing stupidly and trembling nervously in my incapacitating fear, "Fletch, in the name of Jesus you get in that pasture!!!!!!! YOU are a mere animal and I am a child of God Almighty and in Genesis the Bible states clearly that I have dominion over you. So, Fletch in the name of Jesus Christ get your butt into that pasture!!!!! I proclaim it. I speak it. I believe it. I walk in faith. I walk in faith. I do not walk in fear for fear hinders and inhibits me from becoming everything I can be as a child of God. In Him there is no fear. In Him there is victory. Fletch, I am greater than you through the power that God has given me as belonging to Him. So, go now!!!! Go into that pasture that is your home! In the name of Jesus I speak to you, Fletch, GO!"

The more I spoke it the more my faith began to take hold and the more courage I had. By the end of it I was quite loud and proclaiming with far more certainty than with which I began with in my newfound, growing faith. But the more I spoke the more faith I had and the louder I became in my passion and excitement. And..............

To my utter delight and amazement he began to trot and then he began to run and he ran directly into the pasture and the gate was closed. The same pasture we had been standing out there trying to get him in for an entire hour and a half. When I first started speaking to him Grayson looked at me like I had completely gone insane and should probably be admitted to an asylum as soon as this ordeal was over. But as he watched he was able to see and he stood in awe after it was over. It was a turning point for both of us in the power of our words and the power that we are given in our words. By being children of a loving God that still very much is alive we have power given through the name of Jesus.....and by a living breathing God that still cares so deeply for us that He gives us permission to use His name. A name that still brings about results, a name that brings about victories.

But I have taken that lesson with me and He has since used it to apply it to so very many different areas of my life. He has made me painfully aware of my words. My words concerning our finances, my body, the children, my health, our future. Having never been one to focus on ill health and think it is too often used as a crutch for some I just refrained from ever speaking of it at all. But since then I have realized that to not ever acknowledge it does no good either and is a mere source of living in denial. So, I began to speak to it. To not only acknowledge it but to take dominion over it as well. Because I do believe.

And where do things like Copeland's death, cancer, leukemia and every other fatal and nonfatal disease fit into this? I'm not sure. I'm still learning. I do know that His will comes before all else. And the Bible states clearly that there is a season, a time, for everything. "A time to die." And I do know that in order to accomplish His purpose and His work people...and children.....do perish in their unhealed sickness. But if it accomplishes His greater purpose in the Kingdom than they have accomplished their purpose. I think He created them as ambassadors and modern day missionaries.....even though the packages may be some of the tiniest ones.

As always, I'm still traveling down this road trying to mud my way through it and make sense of it. It always seems to come out so muddled and twisted up that I probably would be better off not to attempt deep thoughts. I figure deep thoughts need to stay with the theologians. But, how can I refrain from something so life changing? Something that has been so deeply so revealed to me in these last few years?

So, I sit. I do not sit in fear but in utter childlike faith that this will all someday make sense to me. I sit with the faith that I will come to embrace an even greater walk of faith and one that stretches even the limits of a mortal man's boundaries. A faith so strong that I could build an ark when I've never seen rain. A faith that if God told us to give away every earthly possession, including our house, that we could walk in obedience knowing He would provide for every need we would have...not only provide but exceedingly, abundantly provide because we have walked in obedience to His word.

Small Town Conflict

(Once again, since we have no new pictures available to put on here, I decided to go back about a year ago and put in some of my favorite pics. I figured it'd be fun to do a black and white theme of some of my favorite ones. How children grow in just 1 year!)

I suppose it is inevitable. Sad but inevitable. And I suppose too I've never in my life been good with conflict, not to even mention coming close to being good at confrontation. And my, how we have already had our fair share of it in the short 14 months that we have been here. This whole living in a small town thing is still rather new to me. It's such a romantic idea but there is a huge dose of reality that is served up when you actually go through with such a romantic notion. Brad says he loves the romantic dreamy side of me. I just laugh and tell him I didn't know one existed. But at times like these I am convinced that side of me exists somewhere within myself when having to deal with the realities of small town life. For the most part I dearly love it. It is days like yesterday as I just laid on the couch...still sick.....gazing out the open windows and feeling the perfect gentle breeze kiss my skin. Watching the tall pasture grasses dance gracefully in rhythm to the swaying trees and floating clouds, all like an expertly choreographed dance in perfect motion. Migrating birds graced the autumn sky and the far off tinkle of children's laughter jumping happily together on the trampoline sung in harmony with each other. Fletch's bray and the goats' cries eagerly called for the children while dogs played and barked and jumped on the trampoline too......they all painted a very real live picture of perfection. A picture of utter contentment in my soul. It is this that I love. It is this part of our lives that I do not ever want to change.

But, the other side of small town, dusty life, is having to live with the people that have such major offenses with you. And thinking of dusty.....Brad and I watched a show the other night on the human body and did you know that 80% of the dust in your house is made up of human skin cells????? Can I puke yet? So, since we have 250% more children than the average household has, does that mean we have 250% more dust....250% more dead skin cells? And I came by the whole 250% thing by figuring if the average home has 2 children and we have 7 than 3 children is already 50% more and 4 is 100% more and so on. So, I have a feeling that is really not quite right and way too simple for me to have figured out, so obviously math is not a strong point of mine. So, just skip that part if it proves to be too irritating for you. It sounds better just to say we have 87% more kids than the normal family. And that number was just picked randomly but it already sounds better and more mathematically inclined. So, anyway, whether it be 250% or 87% we still have that much more "dust" in our house. That's just way nasty.

Anyway, so back to the main point of life in a dusty little town. Gives a whole new meaning to "dusty" town though. We've already had several issues with people having issues with us. The whole school thing. To this day no one understands why we do things the way we do or why we chose to take them out of school, a place that is considered before church and God around here. This town lives and breathes the school. It's what keeps this town motivated. The church is dead, the county is dead, the people are dead...until you talk about the school. And then everyone is into it for the children. It is their passion....to a detriment. And even their passion they are ruining due to the inability to run it without conflict or keep it a place worthy of continuing attendance. So, the school doesn't understand us in the least and we are the farthest thing from anything they have ever seen before. They've never seen a large family and never even remotely seen one that would willingly homeschool all 7 and actually love every minute of it...........well, most minutes of it.

And then the church. The little poor church has major issues. And then they have issues with us due to the fact that I longed to go where there is life and life abundantly. I want my children to have what Brad and I had growing up. Freedom to praise, worship, dance, raise your hands in worship, thanks and awe. The girls, upon hearing that when I was little I danced in church, begged us to move back so that they could go to that church and dance for God too. It made my heart so sad over what they are missing in our efforts of trying to people please in this town. So, I began to pray and we were led to a completely wonderfully Spirit filled little church 50 miles from here. And, of all things.....we dance, we sing, we praise, we worship. We no longer sit on a hard wooden pew and drone out in monotone lethargy "I Love To Tell The Story". Granted, I love that old hymn but I was beginning to have some issues with it by the end of my church going days across the street in our little town church. But, now they have issues with us. And they by no means understand or are even capable of comprehending why we left. When I finally quit trying to hide it and quit trying to not hurt their feelings but was growing increasingly tired of the scrutiny and stabbing comments I finally just came out and told them we left to go to a church that dances. I just began to tell them that Brad and I were raised in a place that worships and praises differently and we wanted our children to have that. And when I began to tell them the truth they looked at me like I'd told them we were now attending church at the local bar. But I love watching my girls in their summery white dresses and barefeet twirl and turn and laugh and glide across the floor as they praise, completely lost in abandonment to a God they are completely in love with....a Lord that they are allowed to know on a much deeper level than sitting on a church pew coughing out in whispered hushes a long ago hymn. I truly hold hymns closely and dearly to my heart and I find it so very important for the children to know them as well. When hearing Selah sing them it brings them more to life than any church I have ever heard. And if we were to sing with that same passion it might be different. But as it is, it is quite morbid and depressing in it's half dead...or all dead....state. I love watching Grayson jump and bounce and showing Garrison and Grant how to enter the gates of heaven with praise. I love what we have been given in our little tiny church that we now attend. But, as all things go, upon leaving our little town church feelings were hurt, tongues wagged and rumors were spread.

So, in all of the accusations and rumors that have gone around about our "strange" habits we have also had issues with the kind of friends the children keep. So, more boundaries were established on our part. After Grayson taking up with the PE teacher's 8 year old boy it didn't take long to find that his behavior was far from ideal..to put it incredibly mildly. We had to deal with issues of the little boy looking up Evye's skirts, spying on her while dressing, torturing she and Aubrey to near death, picking on Garrison and Grant and just sheerly antagonizing them and then, of all things, which seemed to be the mother of all wrong doings, he called Evye to him one afternoon and told her to look as closely at the ground as she could. With eyes almost touching the ground in an effort to see the nothingness he pointed at he fired Grayson's gun, minus the bullets but with all of the air from the cartridge, and it quickly blew dirt and rocks into her eyes. After that incident we decided to take a break from him for awhile and maybe see if he'd change over time.

So, his second chance rolled around and we were at it again. Still lots of little issues here and there but nothing really blatant enough to justify saying he could never come over again. He even spent a night and Grayson a night with him and they became quite close. During this time Grayson's behavior was not optimal, to say the least. And finally, this last time, we were all in the Suburban together and he outrageously farted and proudly boasted to Grayson about his achievements. When everyone was suffocating and quite ready to puke he suddenly figured out it wasn't nearly the funny prank he thought it was going to be and refused to tell the truth and fess up that he had done it and willingly let Grayson take the blame. And I knew going into it it wasn't Grayson's doings. (Here's another "you know you're a parent when" moment....... And this is not one I am even remotely proud nor did I ever really plan on ever having this invaluable knowledge as a parent. But when you actually know the smell of your own kids' farts and can tell the difference between one of your own kids' and one of their friends'. Completely and totally useless, disgusting information...but true.) Later that same trip and after many more rowdy unwilling-to-mind episodes I caught him telling Evye and Aubrey to kiss each other. When they refused to follow him he then proceeded to try and talk Evye into it and then tried even harder to coerce her into "kissing her long". That did it for me. That was the end.

So, we dropped his butt back off at his house. After that Grayson was banned from playing with him. I honestly thought we wouldn't have much to worry about since they are in SA 6 days out of the week after school for sports. He's only come once to ask to play and then recently he saw Grayson going to play with another friend. He asked Grayson why he was able to play with the other but not himself. Grayson didn't know quite what to say so he just said he wasn't allowed...which was fine. So, last night his PE teaching mother stopped Grayson on his bike as he was on his way home and actually lit into him. She told him that he never takes the blame for anything and upon asking Grayson why he was no longer able to play with him and Grayson answering about the whole looking up skirts issues she laughed and said he in no way does that and in effect called Grayson a liar to his face. Grayson didn't have a clue what to say since he has been taught the utmost respect for authority and to never talk back. She then proceeded to tell Grayson he is not a good friend and continued on for awhile in her endeavors of taking action on a child that is far from her's. Obviously she now issues with us and the way we choose to deal with things in our family. But, we have house rules and those that do not abide do not play here.

It outraged me at first. Then it scared me that she might actually come pay us a visit. Then it just saddened me that we have to live with these people and see them everyday when there are such major offenses with us. I thought of talking to them in an effort to live peaceably with our neighbors but, based on the fact she would accept nothing Grayson said and when being told that we had set the rules no longer allowing him to play with her son and the fact she would hear nothing of it, tells me that we are setting ourselves up for a huge attack of our moral values and an onslaught of awful defense attacks on their part. So, after discussing it with Brad, we decided it is much better to raise our children with values and a love for each other where they are taught to defend their siblings and stand up for them rather than to sacrifice our children in an effort to make the people in this town happy with us. And so here we sit yet again with people in this place filled with disdain for us and no ability to even remotely understand what we are doing in our family or the boundaries we have set.

Here we are struggling to raise our children exceptionally in an unexceptional, way too average world. The warfare against one's integrity when trying to walking out the calling God has placed on your life is sometimes overwhelming. But I can truly say at this point after going through this numerous times now that God is using it to strengthen my skills and ability to deal with less than ideal situations. Maybe due to my past.....maybe due to just being way too sensitive...maybe just due to being the type of person I am....but I have never received criticism well or any type of situation where people think badly of me. I am certain that God, in all of His perfect infinite wisdom, so completely created Brad and I for each other. We truly are each other's halves. I am his strength in his weaknesses and he is the vessel God pours through as I muddle through my weaknesses. He is my absolute strength. In the 8 years we have been married I have grown in so many ways. I have grown confidence that I have forever lacked. I have become less self focused and strayed away from my self centered shyness. He has shown me what it is to address people and confront them....from family members all the way to removed friends that do not respect boundaries. And in doing so I have been given vast amounts of grace and mercy to endure the criticism and attacks that follow. I have been given the kindness to continue living with those people in my world and a grace to refrain from becoming bitter and overcome by what some would think after having been "chewed up and spit out" by the world. There is so much bitterness and so many hard hearts in my family. And somehow through Brad and through these life lessons I was mercifully given a tenderness and heart to continue loving the person but abhorring what they do. And I feel an overwhelming tenderness for what it is they fail to see. Sometimes I just think, if only they could just see the bigger picture. And I have been given a new understanding for who exactly I am as a person in Jesus Christ that represents Him in every way. I have been given a confidence that I have forever lacked in my need for approval. In all of my neediness in dealing with my low self esteem the Lord gave me the gift of Brad. A gift He has used over and again to teach me His ways and show me what I am to Him and how to deal with situations I would never in my life have ever taken on had it not been for what I have in Brad.

So, even in dealing with all of our small town conflict and people's opinions I can honestly say I am truly growing through it all. It's still very hard to know that the entire town has hushed, whispered issues with us but as I sit, holed up in my homey little house with my crew of beautiful children, I get excited about who we are raising in them and what kind of adults they will be. It just makes it all worth it in the end. It makes any sort of disdain and all rumors seem so worthwhile. I don't want to be average like what I see in this town. I don't want any of my children.....my sweet, beautiful, impressionistic children....to be just average....half-hearted in everything they do. I want them to powerpacked and full of passion and whatever it is they do in life to do it with their entire heart.....despite what they see in the average unruly kids that surround them. And maybe our convictions, despite the criticism received due to them, will set the example they need in life to put their uttermost heart and soul into what it is they do and to ignore the voice of the world in pursuit of God's greatest calling on their lives.

Raising Boys....a bunch of them!!!

So I know I used this picture awhile back when it was 1st taken but it's the only one I have right now of all 5 boys together. Never mind the unhappy one.....he just wanted down. And we're pleased to say that in the time that has elapsed since this picture was taken little Yoda Baby is now resembling more of his parents and less of his Star Wars ancestry.

So, I concluded today that one knows you are raising a ton of boys when you are dog sick and cannot get out of bed and when you finally do it is only to go to the bathroom. BUT......when you get back in bed you lay down miserably and flip and flop around in your half frozen, feverish state and it is only then that you discover the 14 inch snake skin you are laying on. After you squeal appropriately and flick it out with the least amount of fingers possible it is then that you hear the outrageous torrent of giggles out in the hallway. After the laughter dies down the culprit pops his head in, not being able to withhold anything that involves his expertise of being able to locate living reptiles.......the same canny ability that extends to finding reptile leftovers......and asks, "Mom!!! Did that scare you???!!! Wasn't that so funny???!! You screamed!" Garrison and Grant trailing behind him still laughing, "Mom, scare you? Mom, mom. It's a snake! It's dead. DON'T touch the snake! But it's a dead snake." And Garrett, trailing behind them, mimicking my scream just loving the excuse to be able to make obnoxiously loud noises and have everyone think it's even remotely funny. Boys are indeed, by God's wonderful and sometimes perplexing design, just wired very differently than girls. How in the world did I end up with these 5 reptile loving miracles when having the reptilian phobia thing going on that I do???? Although I still think I'd fair better parenting 2 dozen boys rather than 2 girls. Have I mentioned lately that I'm ready to shave Aubrey's head? Oh....and Evye later proudly announced the snake skin was found in the freakin playroom. Ugh. Yes.....that would be the same playroom that I let my children play in....the same playroom the coachwhips are now hibernating in. That's just plain sick. And the snake skin in its 3 pieces, even had the entire head completely whole and undisturbed. It even had the freakin eyeball scales still attached. It was just nasty. But, the boys got a good laugh out of it. And Brad, at times not being much older than his 5 boys, loved it just as much and had a good laugh.....one the boys thought was entirely well deserved for their efforts. Brad was even poking around on it showing me the eyeball covers and crap on it. Yuck. Yuck, yuck, yuck!

And since I don't have any new pics since the camera is still out of commission I just figured to keep it entertaining I'd put a pic in of a very live, fiesty coachwhip/bullwhip/ratsnake/whatever it is snake that we discovered not long after we moved. And yes.......it was discovered in the playroom. Maybe it just had babies or something. Ewwww. We actually heard of a dude that said he rather live with the snakes anyday than deal with rats. So, he'd start having a rat problem in his attic and he'd just take a tub full of coachwhips and dump them in his attic with the rats!!!! Oh my freakin gosh! I've got an original genius idea. Why don't you just bug bomb the whole thing and get rid of them all???!!!!

Just call me Martha Stewart

Well, I did it! In my efforts of making our own bread I finally attempted something new and different and strayed away from the traditional loaf and made croissant rolls. I even took pics of the finished product.......but as any family with way too many kids, our camera got set in water and now won't download anything. Brad said we might can get a cable and use the port from camera to computer or possibly just get a new dock for it. So, I'm still taking tons of pictures.....they're just all stuck in the camera at this point. I suppose it's a good thing that the memory card holds 150 pics....since seeing as how by the time we do get to download them all 150 pictures will probably be taken and ready to go.

Anyway, so I even went the entire distance this time around and ground up the whole wheat flour from the wheat berries. That was done only out of sheer necessity though and was most definitely unplanned since I just kind of ran out of freakin flour while making the rolls. I've done good so far but haven't really been ready to experiment with the whole grinding of the wheat thing. But, since afterall, necessity is the mother of all invention, I dug out the flour mill and set to work on the grinding of the wheat berries. There has never been a prouder moment in my entire cooking career either, I might add. I felt like a pretty version of Martha Stewart. There I was in my own kitchen with makeup on and my hair coiffed just so and all I really pretty much lacked was an apron to complete the look. I had my little rolling pin out and my little pizza cutter to cut out the triangles before they headed into their predestined croissant shapes. I put in my yeast and let the bread rise and did all of the necessary stuff. It was much more fun than just making plain bread.......though I think the plain bread tastes better than the whole roll thing did. I felt like quite the accomplished wife/mother/cook/health food guru. So, it was quite a step in my making of the bread endeavors. I have become quite the cook these days.

I also received the book "Once a Month Cooking" by Mimi Wilson and Mary Beth Lagerborg from Pam, Brad's mom, for my birthday. I have devoured that book in an attempt to get my whole 30 day cooking plan down better. I did pretty well the 1st little while but then I hit the roadbumps. Roadbumps such as not nearly enough dishes and pans to store and freeze all the food in and needing the money to go out and by all the needed grocery items beforehand all at one time. We tend to grocery shop as God provides the money....kind of like the manna plan God had the Israelites on. We definitely don't storehouse food at this point in our lives.....though just as it was a season in the Israelites sojourn so I am sure this is only for a season in our lives. Perhaps maybe a lifelong season????? I am excited to see what other twists and turns there are in our healthier, homemade lifestyle change as we see what all we can grow and raise as part of our food source. Anyway, the croissant endeavor was definitely a step in the right direction.

On a different note, the latest happenings are the cruddy stuff going around. As typical for TX we had no fall. It went from highs of 90 degrees to highs of 30 degrees in 2 days with no in between. Grant has a probable ear infection and Aubrey started telling me this morning that her "ear is broken" and that "it doesn't work anymore". So far no pain complaints but I figure there is fluid of some sort sitting back there clogging up her hearing and we need to get it out before the infection sets in. Grant is now up at night with his ear issues at least 20 times screaming and crying and I am quite certain that even the kindest, most patient, merciful, loving parent would find it hard not to pinch his wailing head off at 2 am and then 3 am and then again at 4 am and then again at 4:30 am and then again at 5 and 6 am. It will definitely try a parent's soul. Last night he started up again and all I could do was look at Brad in exasperation. After more Motrin, ear drops, water and some time in our bed he went back to his bed.....only to start it all up again. So, with as much patience as I could muster, I went back in and got him again. He went straight to the bathroom and got 1/4 of a square of toilet paper and attempted to wipe his butt through his pajamas. Being quite the rainman that he is he got all frustrated with that and sheer exasperation on his part reigned. I went to pull his little pj's down to see if I could wipe him and make him feel better, seeing as how something was obviously not quite right where his butt was concerned, and suddenly I realized he was soaking wet. He's only wet the bed once since he's been sleeping in underwear so it was a surprise. Suddenly overcome with remorse and mercy for him I stripped him down in the 30 below house...as Brad has not quite seen the need to make use of the heater yet.....and cleaned him up. With Grant's side of the bed now all wet I went in and got his pillow, blanket and puppy and made a little bed for him on our floor with the chair/fold out bed. Now dressed in clean dry underwear and warm flannel pj's he fell asleep quickly and I was filled with shame as I thought about all of the medication I had just dumped down him thinking it was yet, once again, his ear.

In my never ending, round the clock care of being Dr Mom, waging war with the runny noses, congestion, watery eyes, ear aches and so on, I too succumbed to some form of feelings of ill health. Ugh. Knowing it definitely was not my allergies responsible for yet another sinus infection I began to feel like quite the bedridden sickling. Sure enough another round of mastitis kicked in. The fever started along with the overall feelings of absolute crap and imminent hours of wanting to be confined to the bed yet having to carry on while Brad works. My entire body began to ache and the all too flu like symptoms carried a certain specific torture with it. So, I began the hot showers and nursing through it all in an effort to try and get through it without meds. Somewhere in Brad's overheated body he found life quite comfy with not turning on the heater and so, as my fever began to rise, the already 3o degrees in the house began to feel like 30 below. After he arrived home I curled up under the comforter, and 2 more massive extra blankets and shivered while my hands, nose and toes all began to go quite numb in my Antarctic state. For 2 days I didn't feel like doing anything except the absolute necessities and finally for the first time last night I actually felt half way normal again. We curled up together in bed after the children were all down for the night and finally turned out the lights. Then the night shift came with Grant's wetting of the bed and then Gavin, who has been sleeping through the night for a little over 2 months now, waking twice. In our 40 below house it didn't take long to come to the realization that he too was quite an ice baby. So, I brought him to bed with us and snuggled his little tiny body up against me as he nursed. He fell asleep all warm and toasty up against me and so we slept the rest of the night quite peacefully.....Gavin and I under no less than 3 blankets. We woke up to the house thermostat reading 64 degrees....which translates to 64 below when fever is accompanied with it.

So, here I sit still running fever as Grayson and Evye gripe about the fact they unwisely chose to watch Cars in the middle of the day instead of responsibly doing the remainder of their school work and chores. After giving 3 well deserved spankings (2 to Grayson and 1 to Evye) and being told that Brad is a kinder parent than I am they are now back chiseling away at their lists that were supposed to be accomplished hours ago. I wish I felt good enough to go to the park and let them run.....but, as it is, I am perfectly at peace with camping out right here and letting them work their little butts off and then releasing them out to their freedom. With the chill autumn wind blowing from the north and already feeling crapped out I'm kind of in the mood just to curl up under some big covers sipping down hot Chicken Noodle soup while watching old reruns of Little House on the Prairie. Pathetic, I know.

Oh.....and here's an odd bit of info. In my feelings of utter crapiness I was tired of feeling bad. So, seeing them all completely wonderfully happy on the trampoline yesterday and having the absolute time of their little lives I went out to take pics of them. They all danced and jumped around it and Grayson and Evye took turns teaching the little ones to do flips. Finally, tired of seeing their vain attempts going nowhere, I got on there with them in an effort to show them how to get the most out of their jumps in order to complete the entire flip. And so, fever and all, I jumped and did flips with them in the afternoon sun. Grayson, ever so lovingly, told me afterwards that while I was doing it he was scared to death that I was going to kill myself. Thank you, Grayson. While my 32 year old 5 foot 7 inch frame may no longer weigh 130 pds and be in quite the bootcamp shape that it was in years gone by I am not quite the walking....or jumping.....hazard that that statement made me out to be. Oh....and I saw Jay Johnson, from our days of bootcamp while living in FW, on TV the other night. He did all the familiar routines with the cheerleaders and it made me miss him so much. I think I might go back and live in FW if for no other reason than just to be a part of bootcamp again. I miss him. Anyway, but yes, I successfully got on there and showed my children, all of whom thought it exceedingly hysterically funny, how to do flips on the trampoline.

Alright, on to take more Tylenol and get down some more hot tea in an effort to warm my continually frozen body up.

30 Days of Thanksgiving

I found this also at Without Fear's blog and she came by it via Two Little Vikings blog. I was completely excited about what a great idea it is. So, I too am participating. I already have many names swirling through my mind as I think through it.





Here's Beth's of Two Little Vikings take on the background of the 30 Days of Thanksgiving:





Early last October, I made a list of 30 people in my life that I felt needed to know that my world is a little better because they are in it. I thought a list like that would be hard to create...and, actually, it was not. I also made a little card in MS Publisher using Kari's button graphic explaining what I was doing and why. Then, starting October 24th, every day for thirty days I "snail mailed" or emailed someone on that list. My online buddies. My pastors. My parents. My in-laws. The folks at my local Walgreen's pharmacy who put up with my wacky-weird questions when one of the Vikings is sick. The Vikings' pediatrician. My favorite lunch spot's staff. My mail carrier and newspaper delivery person. My favorite cashier at the grocery store whose line I always wait in no matter how long because she's so nice to the Vikings.Who around you do you appreciate? Who makes a tough day a little easier to get through? Who silently takes care of small (or big) tasks around you? Who makes you smile and thankful they are part of your life? Wouldn't it be nice if they knew how you felt?





Leave a comment here if you'd like to participate. And, consider posting at your bloggy home about what you think you might do and/or who you might honor starting next Wednesday. Then, perhaps do a follow-up post after your Thanksgiving food coma subsides and tell the bloggy world how it went. And, may the glory be His alone.

I love this. I love how the Lord is teaching me to treasure and hold dear everything I have been given and the people that surround me that I am so entirely grateful for. I can hardly wait to get started on this. Let me know too if you plan on participating!!

Thursday Thanks Tank

I found this on Without Fear's blog and I was so taken with it. You can read her Thursday Thanks Tank and other's on her blog. What better way in the world is there than to devote an entire day to nothing but thanks to our incredibly wonderful Saviour and what He has so freely given me and my family...and then of, course, devote the rest of it to whatever mess happened to be made that day too!!! I am quite sure there is a way to give thanks and still bemoan all of the crap that surely had to be cleaned up that day too....all while loving and appreciating the fact I have my sweet children to create the messes.

Since it is now 2 am and I am just now beginning to write this I will make it short and sweet....but no less meaningful. Since I have backslidden in my efforts of rising at 5am I have seen the difference in my days of those that are spent quietly in the morning hours and those where I have awakened to children already up and digging into crap.......and lots of it!!! This morning as I stayed nestled lazily under the thick warm heavy comforter and lay on my squishy, cloud-like down pillows I nursed my sweet baby. The cold, morning, autumn air blew through the open windows and I had absolutely no desire to actually face the cold house but rather stayed cozied up with my new sleeping tiny baby. But, as wonderfully dreamy as that sounds and as incredibly wonderful as it felt they, unknowingly to me, got into the frig and ate every single cup of pudding we had gotten as a treat at the grocery store on Monday. Usually I make our pudding and just divide it up into little Dixie cups and rubberband Saran Wrap on top........and after tasting the stuff at the store in pudding cups I know why I do that!!! We got the cheap Wal Mart stuff and to say that it was nasty is putting it painfully mildly.......but, on a side note to pudding cups, the Tapioca Jello brand is incredible despite the fact I haven't had it in years. Anyway, instead we bought a fun pudding treat already in cups. So, with a total of 12 cups they successfully devoured every one of them in one morning. Even Garrett got in on the action and, of course, thoroughly enjoyed it while successfully smearing it in his hair and all over his face and pj's.......and then lovingly fingerpainting me a wall mural with it. It was chocolate flavor, I might add.

So, all of that to say, I am now back to my routine of rising at 5:30 am and making it work....with a nap. And seeing as how it's now 2 am I really need to sleep so I'll actually be kind to my children come morning.

So, my top 10 greatest things to be thankful for this week are......

10. My bed......seriously. I think my love affair with it is a little too excessive at times but I truly love my bed. I love the quiet little afternoon moments when I can sneak off to sleep in the quiet of the day. I love looking forward to cuddling up in it at night after the day is done, the children have been tucked in.........the fun of just enjoying time spent with Brad in the quiet of the day buried within it. Or when he's on shift, the quiet peace of a sleeping house just sunggled in reading a good book. I wait for the day I have a wireless laptop and can write to my heart's content all buried within its comfort. The big huge king size that it is, the big heavy comforter, my allergy free Primaloft down pillows and the baby soft cotton sheets. And I'm thankful for the guy who invented the Primaloft down pillows. He is surely a blessed individual.

9. Our goats, donkey and dogs. As ridiculous as this sounds and as much responsibility that they are I love that we have been so entirely blessed to have been given the home and land in which we can have large living things with room to roam such as this. It is something we always dreamed of and I'm not sure I ever really expected it to ever come to fruition. I longed for these days and here we are living them, loving on lovable goats that have been spoiled into pets, and loving on dear Fletch that will lay his head on our shoulders in an effort to get as close as entirely possible. I love listening to him bray. It just never gets old.

8. My sewing machine. I finally took it out of the box and just look at it in admiration every day. It sits on my dresser waiting to be put in it's perfect spot....which I'm still working on....and used. It sits all shiny and new and just begs to be put to good use. I'm already envisioning blankets, fleece pj's for the boys, Christmas dresses for the girls and spring fabrics for church dresses. I never dreamed I would receive it for my birthday. I only asked for a gift card in an effort to aid in my sewing machine fund. Little did I know and how extremely blessed I was to receive the entire thing. I just love looking at it sitting over there so regally in it's new shiny state beckoning to create something from my imagination.

7. My love of organizing and keeping a clean house. I look at my still somewhat newly organized closet and it just makes me feel good everytime I have to go in there. Instead of the drudgery that it was I just feel a sense of total relief, purpose and functionality when I enter. There's not really any one moment I ever go in there that I'm not grateful for the fact that the Lord has blessed me with a gift to organize and a love of doing it. And when I enter some people's homes I wonder how in the world they cope. I love that I treasure a clean house. Now....clean is used loosely and relatively here since you can ask Mother on any given day and she will more than likely refute my clean house statement. But she knows I love her more than life itself and we are completely ok with each other's definition of "clean". But I feel blessed that I have been given all of these children and that the Lord also created in me before I was even born a love of organizing. Knowing ever turn my life would take and each and every baby He would give me He formed me from the womb with an insatiable desire to run a household effectively and efficiently. He knew 32 years ago when He created me that I would need to make our cozy little 3 bdrm home work with 7 children and 2 adults. And I am forever grateful that He has extended His grace and mercy to make it work.

6. My dear sweet family. A Dad that calls to check up when it's been too long, Jackie and Curtis and the way God has completely turned their life upside down in order to glorify Him and bring every bit of praise and honor to His name and their incredible 8 children and what a blessing they are to my kids. How wonderful it is for my children to have such sweet friends in their cousins. And Scott........how incredibly wonderful he is and how dearly much I love him and treasure his friendship....even though I still have to get past the girls falling all over him. It's still just gross to me to watch them drool. But seeing as how we look so very much alike I do reserve the right to say he's entirely good looking. And my dear old Granny. I'm entirely thankful she's still here. After having lived through the diagnosis of her cancer right after we moved and then watching Mother take care of her during her treatment has made me that much more aware of how incredibly blessed we are to still have her in our lives. And what a blessing it is for the children to be able to know their Great Granny. I never knew any of mine.

5. Mother. I don't know how in the world I would've made it through as much of life as I have without her. She is a daily inspiration to me. I love what God has given me and provided for me in her sweet friendship. I'm not sure many others are given the gift of being able to be best friends with their mom. I am so grateful that the children are able to have the relationship that they do with her. I love that the children have in her what Grandpa was to me. I love the fact that we have the same sense of humor and can laugh for hours at the same thing. And something I find hysterically funny and am in funny tears over she's finds just as amusing and funny. I love that she cries with me, prays with me, agrees with me, is content to agree to disagree on some things and loves me so very unconditionally. I hope I can be half of the mother to my children that she is to me.

4. My children. Of course, this would seem a given but it certainly holds no less value or meaning. I am so incredibly blessed to know of and personally know some moms that have tried for many years for children of their own and still their arms longingly wait and their rocking chairs sit empty, their houses all too quiet from the lack of any little voices laughing and playing or little feet pattering down the hall. Not only were we blessed not to ever have to endure any fertility issues but we have been given 7 children.......so much more than even just 1. I look at them and just stand in complete awe.........even as I sit thinking I might go crazy listening to them fight and argue or irritate each other to death. the honor bestowed upon me to raise these little lives and the fact that God felt like He could trust me to do this insane job and give me the responsibility of his crew is just mind blowing. It exceeds any task I have ever taken on in my entire life. But I know that He has empowered me to do this and to raise them up to do great and mighty things in His Kingdom and on behalf of Him. It just amazes me to think of who I am raising and what he will call them to do and what He has purposed for each one of their lives.

3. Brad. There are no words. I am just in awe over what I have been given in a husband. The Lord truly knew what I needed in every way. If it had been left up to me I surely would have screwed it all up. I had my sights set on someone else and Brad and I barely knew each other. We knew of each other and I had gone several places with him as a group of us carpooled. But that was about the extent of it. I had my sights set on someone else that I thought was the perfect husband and surely was who God had chosen...but in stepped Brad.....my sweet, loving rough around the edges Brad who just swept in unexpectedly and it all just happened without even much time to think. In fact, had I had time to think, our relationship would have never been. I was so obstinate and so set on not bringing a man back into my life, unless it was one specific one that I had in mind at the time, that I had purposed I would not even consider anyone. I refused to expose what I had at stake to any man. But here he came and it was not love at 1st sight.....but had it been I would've turned tail and ran. It was slow and he was everything I never knew I needed or wanted. He is truly God's most precious gift to me. I have learned to see in him the unconditional love the Lord has always had for me.....but that I never saw or could receive.

2. God's Provision for us. I have written so much about this lately that I don't feel any need to go into any detail about it. but suffice it to say, I am truly overwhelmed by His love and provision for our family when we walk in obedience to what He has called us to do. Seeing Him provide in such tangible, physical ways never ever in a lifetime grows old. Everytime He steps in, which is on a daily basis in our lives with Brad's income and our 7 little mouths to feed, is simply beyond comprehension to me. It is kind of like living out your dream every day of your life. I aspire to have the faith and utter trust of George Mueller and to be at a place where we watch Him work in such miraculous everyday ways. He has not let us down and He is only showing us more as we enter into the Holy Wild of complete and passionate abandonment to Him and the calling He has placed on our lives.

1. Freedom. Words can never express the gratefulness that is in my heart for the freedom that I have. Freedom from worrying about what others think of me anymore, freedom from the prison of myself, freedom from self centeredness and self focus and the ability to see the bigger picture. But most of all freedom to teach my children about the Love of Jesus Christ and the fact He painfully died on the cross in order to free us from ourselves. I love the fact that just this morning Grayson and Evye were talking and Grayson spoke of how painful it was for Him to be nailed up there and what He must have endured. And then Evye spoke up and said that He died to save us and had He not died then we would not have the hope that we do and the relationship that His Holy Spirit gives us. I love that my children can so freely be taught these things and we will not be imprisoned for it. I love that I can homeschool my children freely and not have to worry about my children being taken away from us, as a mother in Germany is having to live through. I love that I can look at them around my table everyday and teach them whatever the Lord lays on my heart and any Scripture that pertains to whatever character trait we need to work on at that time in their lives. I am forever thankful for the freedom I have been so incredibly given. Freedom.....it says it all in every way. There is no sweeter word.

Deer vs. Truck

.............or truck vs. deer. I've been sitting her contemplating that for a shamefully embarrassing amount of time now. Since I have no clue which one it should be I'm finally tired of trying to figure it out and just ready to write. So, whichever one it should be......when the deer actually hits the truck instead of the truck hitting the deer........that's what it should be called.



At any rate.....I suppose it was inevitable. When one passes no less than anywhere from 15-30 dead deer on the side of the highways in any one given week the thought does tend to cross your mind that you haven't hit one yet. I find myself mentally wondering what that truck now looks like after the collision with a rather large sturdy animal that now lay rotting on the side of the road. Good lot of good the larger than life deer guard did on the front of the truck. So, Brad had to go do some political sucking up on behalf of the city council and so he made his way out to Millersview to kiss some butt so the city water could be turned back on. On his way home in the darkening dusk a skitzed out deer ran back and forth in paranoia, running into a fence instead of jumping the freakin thing and then headed the opposite direction. In one swift split second she turned with no time for him to react and ran full speed head first into the driver's door. She hit so hard her body swung around and her butt hit the passenger door. So, both doors are caved in officially making it look like he got broadsided by a car. Oh well. Just part of life in this part of TX, I suppose. Definitely nothing that can't be fixed.



And on Monday, after days of having not seen Brad or spent any time with him and then having to do the whole Sunday church routine while he worked an OT shift, he took the entire day off and we made a very desperately needed grocery trip. Since he usually grabs groceries on his way home and then I run in for the needed 2 or 3 things in the middle of the week the 2 of us haven't shopped with the whole crew in months. So, we piled everybody up and took off. Feeling a little like splurging and celebrating, since we rarely eat out anymore, we headed for Cici's...the children's favorite. The children were perfectly enjoyable and Brad, being exceedingly glad to have the day off with us, was laid back and just fun to hang out with....despite the fact we were having to grocery shop, as that has never been known to be a favorite task of his. Our entry was noticed by everyone in the whole restaurant, as usual, with heads turning, fingers pointing and whispered counting reaching the grand number of 7. I've finally learned in all of my growing with the growing number of children that instead of wishing to hide and seek shelter over being the center of everyone's attention to smile lovingly and kindly and answer the hundred questions directed our way. I'd dressed everybody in similar outfits and colors so that they could easily be spotted and Garrison, Grant and Garrett were all matching in their red t-shirts and blue overalls. So, we walked in and made quite the seen with Grayson pushing Garrison''s highchair, Evye pushing Grant's highchair, Aubrey pushing Garrett's highchair and me carrying Gavin in his carrier as we sat to work finding tables and pushing them together while Brad payed. In highchairs I suppose, in some far fetched world, the 3 highchaired boys could pass for triplets........but when I look at sweet Garrett I still see huge rosy cherub baby cheeks and a baby face that screams out he can be absolutely no older than 2. His face still says he is every bit the 18 month old baby that he is but his solid 30 pd little body that holds even with Garrison's and Grant's 3 yr old weight I guess can give the illusion that he might be as old as 2....but still definitely no older. But, despite that fact, the triplet questions began pouring in. It seemed a bit odd to me that upon hearing that the boys were twins and he was 18 months younger people looked a bit disappointed. I never in my life thought that twins would not be a novelty to anyone. We had two incredibly wonderful girls sitting at a table nearby that just gushed over the whole crew. They couldn't believe how the older ones helped, the younger ones were so happy and content and how absolutely beautiful each and every one of them all were. I never tire of hearing it....obviously.....but I was so excited since Brad rarely ever is around to ever hear any of the compliments. Since he works as much as he does when he is home he just likes staying home. So, we never really all go out anywhere together as an entire family. I tell him of the praise and admiration we get on a certain day and then he is my vent source for all of the rude and just down right mean things people can say and do too....but rarely does he ever get to see it all for himself. We had at least 3 different people come and praise the children, comment on their exceptional behavior and their beauty. And I have come to see along this walk too that even in children beauty radiates from the inner self. So, though they may be pretty children I think people see so much more because they see their character and how each interact within the group of them. Because it really is unusual how very many compliments they get on their physical appearance and after watching for some time now I think it truly is the children's countenance they are seeing.....not that they aren't a good looking bunch though!



After Cici's we worked our way through Sam's and, except for the occasional scream of protest from one of the younger boys, all went incredibly well and everyone had some fun. Our Wal Mart excursion was a little less fun and a bit more harried as we tried to speed things up to get home for the city council butt kissing ceremony.......all while trying to wind our train of an entourage through an insane amount of slow moving geriatrics. All the little ASU students were out buying crap for their newly acquired dorms and apts and most stood by as, far from nonchalant, onlookers counting children's heads as we passed. Why people whisper when they do that I'll never know. It's kind of obvious what they're standing there doing. And not to mention they count OUT LOUD. Hello stupid people.....you can just ask and save yourself some elementary finger counting...you're not invisible, you know. That'd take some of the fun out of onlookers though, I think. It's much more fun to stand there and watch them try to figure it out and count and then recount....and then whisperingly wonder if they're twins or triplets and if they're all our's. Usually regarding the whispered, "I wonder if they're all her/their's?" to their companion I just turn around smiling and say, "Yep, they are." People are so funny. It usually embarrasses them...like they've been caught or something.


The result of younger ones being lovingly supervised by older ones





Anyway, the day was so much fun. It's days such as those that make me feel like I'm flying. It's the simple things. I love shopping with Brad and not having to do it by myself.....or as by myself as you can be with 7 little pairs of feet trailing behind you.





And on the topic of "flying" days today is one of those perfectly perfect days. I should be doing so much more......but I'm not. I'm sitting her in contentment as I listen to the quiet of naptime. Earlier I listened to children....tons of them.......laughing and cackling hysterically together as they played, conspiracies being plotted as they all gathered in their newly set up tent the older ones worked on all morning, and dogs trailing behind barking obnoxiously desperately trying to get in on the action. Fletch watched from his pasture braying longingly to come play too. No doubt he would've camped out in the tent had he fit. Laughing, screaming kids jumped on the trampoline until their legs gave way in the heaven like weather. Sooner or later one would get bulldozed over by some of the others and one of the older ones would kiss wounds or bruises as the guilty one stood by begging not to be tattled on. All took place as I listened from inside the house working on the to do list. I sat at the computer for awhile drinking my Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice coffee and life was so serene and almost surreal. You know, I should just change the name of my blog to Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Days. It's been given some thought. Not nearly as meaningful though....at least to anyone else. But, the soft, cool, continual breeze blows and caresses the skin almost like liquid velvet. Wind chimes sing in harmony and leaves rustle in the autumn wind. It hums a sad sweet melody around the eaves of the house singing a goodbye song to summer days. It rushes through the windows blowing bedskirt ruffles and curtains up as if calling them out to dance flirtatiously in rhythm to the rustling leaves. Bird feeders swing in the breeze and butterflies migrate to wherever it is they go. They flutter and gently land on every surface creating an earthbound rainbow as children marvel at the colors surrounding them. How could this be my life? Why have I been given so much? A husband that I am desperately in love with and that desperately loves me just as much in return, 7 beautiful children, a creaky old house in the middle of a dirt town, dogs, goats, donkeys, a paid off Suburban, a breathtaking part of the world to live in, and a God who personally provides for me and my family and loves me more than I will ever be able to conceive. A living breathing God full of creative power and so much mercy, love and grace for me that He pours out His creative power and gives me the inheritance and blessing to use it.

Vermont Rain

Brad and I have been talking lately about what it would be to just pick up and move to any part of the US. To do something spontaneous and lifechanging and just go to wherever it is we want to be. We both have come to realize that the desire to embrace life is all consuming both individually and as a couple. We also have come to see what it is to live life to its fullest. No one has bound us here and after having looked through an article on the most scenic fall drives I wondered what it would be like just to take off and do something extreme. Go somewhere that Brad is completely fulfilled and has the ability to enjoy every part of life....somewhere where he doesn't have to work 110 hours a week to provide. A place that is truly beautiful that has 4 full seasons. A place where everyday is like today. Somewhere that you can grow a garden without everything wilting 2 days after it bloomed, where Thanksgivings and Christmases are white with snow, summers are mild enough to go venture out into the unknown world to hike every inch of earth we can find. A place where we are nestled securely in the mountains and whitetail deer are replaced by moose. What would it be like? Is it even remotely possible? And would I honestly leave the family that God has surrounded us with here? The relationship Brad, the children and I all have with Mother, the fact that Daddy would do anything for us at any given time, the gift of Curtis and Jackie and what the children are to each other and how close I am to Scott and the true friend that he is. Would we leave that to do something so completely drastic to change our life and the quality of it? In order to live in a Garden of Eden, in the land of milk and honey? I know, know, know that God has something so large in store for our little family, for Mother too. I feel as though He has walked us down so many different roads and at some point we will walk into His awaited glory, the river of utter contentment that Brad so longs to reach. A true place of rest for the entire family. So, with pictures and dreams of Vermont we began to look at farms in the Adirondack's. As one place leads to another we searched through farms from the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee and North Carolina all the way to the northern regions of Vermont and New Hampshire and then moved on to the ranches of Colorado and Montana. All places we would consider living happily. None of the other states really felt or sounded like home. We both know this is not our forever, grow old home. We both feel this is just an interim time in our lives....but one we truly embrace and love dearly....one that we are content with as we live through this season in our lives. In all honestly living with the rattlesnakes and 110 degree summer heat is not my dream though. We both decided testing for FW in January is not the answer either. Neither of us ever desire to go back there and live.......not even on the outskirts of it. And who is to say that we do not have the entire US at our fingertips? So, we have set a fun 5 year goal to see what we can accomplish financially in those 5 years and the freedom we gain in order to go live our dream, wherever that may be. A freedom to pursue life at it very fullest and not feel bound to one place on earth due to finances. A dream to see fulfilled before we are 80. We are young and want to live all of the life we can before letting our lives slip by and regretting not doing something drastic when we were younger. Life is good and I can hardly wait to see where we end up.....what incredible chapters of our story are still unwritten.

Life with the snakes. This one was shot by a neighbor in front of our house Friday night.And on a side note.....this picture says it all. They're on the move for the approaching winter. Sunday night I went out at midnight to bring the dogs in for the night and I heard the unmistakable sounds of a lone snake rattling eerily. Since was Brad was on OT and not home I kind of freaked and called him. The snake was undoubtedly in the backyard but my courage wavered a little and I didn't have the heart to go hunt him down....me vs. the snake in the cloudy darkness without even the moonlight to aid my efforts. So, after making sure both dogs were unharmed I stood in the quiet dark without even the crickets' chirping listening to the rattle. It buzzed and sung like a stuck bug zapper. There is no other sound like it in the world. A reminder of the ever present danger looming but the all consuming protection of a loving God.

Brotherly Love

As I was getting the older two into bed last night at midnight, since they went to the home game and then went to 5th quarter afterwards, I quietly slipped into the bedroom to tuck them in and I found Garrison and Grant once again sleeping as close as humanly possible. It hit me all over again how entirely much I love having twins and how much fun this whole experience always is. I love the relationship that they have. They are perfectly content mixing with everybody and playing their little hearts out but when bedtime comes there's just nothing in the world like you're very best friend....there's nothing like a sleeping buddy. Since we have sooooo many pics of ways they've ended up finding each other in their sleep I figured I'd compile all of the pictures that I've taken of them having found each other.....even while sleeping. I know at some point as they grow sharing a bed with your brother won't be so cool anymore so I cherish these days while they're little. I hope their bond with each other continues to grow through the years as it has in the 3 years I've watched them grow.

My all time favorite still can't be topped!!!!