Happy Birthday to Our Water Babies

One year ago

12 month pics to come! The journey's pretty amazing. How much they change in just 12 short months.

11 months. In the chaos of the move I didn't ever get around to doing pics of them together.

Gatlin...our content, white blond, playful, Baby B

Graham...sweet clown man, fuzzy redhead Baby A






9 & 10 months. The months flew by and when I looked up they were already another month older so this worked for both.






8 months. And yep....they're still boys. But they happened to be sitting in a rocking chair with a pink blanket covering it. Sweet pink boys.

7 months

6 months

5 months

4 months

3 months ....This was before I thought to do a month to month journey of them together.

2 months

1 month

Birth Day

October 30th.

How amazed I still am over their lives. How in awe that I have these two boys in my life. Just by being here they are testimony of God's goodness, the fact He hears and answers the voice of His people, the fact that through the pain one can overcome and the Lord is standing on the other side of it all still there. We were not abandoned or forsaken. We were not left to wage war with one of the darkest sides of life for it to go unnoticed by the Lord. How merciful is the God we serve, how faithful and how deep His loves....depths unfathomable to me even still. I don't know that the details about Aubrey's ordeal will ever surface or be told, even now two years later it turns the stomach to even begin to attempt to recount details, and the loss of our baby boy...the long arduous journey that it became....all so much hurt...too much for the heart to bear somedays....most days of life during that time. How thankful I am to be here now, where we are, to be holding two babies dr's said would probably never be. To watch them run and jabber and be a part of this family overflows the heart in ways only some will ever know...only ones that know that kind of pain before the joy that comes after it's over. The ones that know pain so deep they cannot ever conceive of being able to live normally again.

How in love I am with my two sweet boys. What a miracle they are in every way. We have no twins in the family yet our two sets are here....blessing our lives in every way, bringing joy unsurpassed. How amazing it is to have the gift of twins again in our lives...unexpected in every way. My sweet fuzzy redhead and bald blond boy...what gifts they are to our family. My life and our family would not be the same without them. How desperately in love we are with our sweet little duo.

I continue to live from the high that they're birth brought with it. So much peace and joy that have encompassed their lives from the very beginning. What a drastic change from the 1st time we welcomed twins in our family. How amazing and what a story our 1st set of twins have. Their pregnancy went 40 weeks and I did succeed in delivering completely naturally in a hospital with A vertex and B breech but the battle waged to get there was long and hard in every way. Pregnancy could not even be enjoyed due to doctors' fear of multiples. How drastically different the 2nd time around has been. Completely peaceful pregnancy with midwife's care. And their birth...such a blessing and so much healing in every way. 40 weeks 2 days, 54 cm in fundal height...kinda huge, 2 hours, relatively painless, so peaceful, only husband, oldest daughter, and dearest friend in attendance as both babies were born into water only 12 minutes apart. Their birth story here.

I am so desperately in love. These two little guys have blessed our lives in ways nothing in the world ever could. Happy Birthday my sweet Baby A and Baby B. I love you more than words will ever in a lifetime convey.

And We Have a Bed!

This is an entirely unromantic, pointless post in every way. But, if you've ever lived without a bed for an entire month you'd know why this is quite the reason for celebration. I'll get on to more worthwhile topics soon enough.


After an entire month to the exact day of doing away with our old bed...we finally have another one. Our old furniture was given to us as a wedding gift by parents that it had been passed down to somewhere along the way in their marriage. It was a little dated......estimated around 30 years old. The mattress was given to us as a Christmas present when it was already 3+ years old. Husband's parents bought a new one so 10 years ago it became our Christmas gift...making the mattress 13 years old. Think it was time for a new one.



With temps falling into the 30's and a month spent in separate beds some celebration is definitely in order. It's a good night to watch a movie, do some snuggling and celebrate!



And let the decorating begin! On a decorating note....I find it a bit humorous that the darker, cozy, romantic, autumn color scheme we have chosen is encompassed in an Ace hardware paint pamphlet that is titled "Worldly". It definitely got a laugh.

Who needs toys? A good box will last them for weeks.

Afternoon pause. The whole world stands still for naptime.

Preoccupied with Life

I haven't given up on blogging, nor have I forsaken it. I will eventually get to a closet post on the how-to's. Life still feels a little like we're living on vacation. With jobless husband home all day for the current moment I do nothing but love on him all day, feed kids, and try to establish some sense of normalcy here despite beautiful weather that beckons body, mind, heart and soul to live outside beyond the walls of the house. So, for now we spend our days gathering acorns, pinecones, twigs and colored leaves and stand in awe of the changing seasons and color. Everything remains a bit surreal.....to be here now. Wind blows through trees and leaves fall like rain in slow motion. Rainbows of red, orange, yellow and brown rest in child hair shimmering in sunlight. Leaves fall outside open windows and it feels as though this must be life in a snowglobe. I know it won't always be this surreal but, for now, it's time to just pause all of life and enjoy...soak up the moment of now. There is a time for everything, a season for everything under heaven. And we both recognize that this is very much just a time to be still and know what we have been given and to revel in these weeks we have been given with each other uninterrupted. Life is still far from perfect but it is indeed a gift. Even now imperfections abound with last two days having been robbed due to migraine, long lasting sinus infection and jaw pain that refuses to be conquered no matter the meds. So I sleep off the headache, the nausea that accompanies migraines, resist the urge to puke and I know life is still good, because it's pretty beautiful. Imperfection of carpet that now boasts hot chocolate stains, ground up, stepped on Nutrigrain bar, smashed pumpkin muffin, mud, dirt, paw prints, shoe prints, spaghetti sauce, chocolate milk, and everything life has to offer where people live on carpet. Imperfection of brilliant landlord painting the entire house...entire...like every wall and cabinet....in flat. white. paint. Imperfections of children that smear without inhibition all sorts of foreign and disgusting substances onto flat white painted walls and the disbelief of the discovery that flat white paint offers no wipeable surface....only smears it into a nice new shade of color far from white...or just takes it off so that the layer of paint 30 years ago is now visible. Imperfections such as the face of the thermostat falling completely off so that the temperature of the house is unknown....until someone braves the arctic and runs from bed to thermostat to hold it on for extended periods of time until it stops vibrating and reveals frigid, toe numbing, indoor night temps of 63 degrees. Imperfections that have become laughable because none of it is forever, it all adds to the memories of this adventure, and life is still pretty beautiful. It's definitely far from perfect....but it's pretty amazing. The leaves.... they fall and all of life pauses. The valley echoes our children's laughter...really truly echoes....leaves spiraling down, dancing noisily, playing among feet, and we stand there in the morning light, buried in the hills, coffee in hand and just smile at each other. Ground blanketed in storybook hues of gold, red, orange and brown. This is us. Our life.

Other preoccupations in life include decorating the house. Nesting instinct has crept in way too many weeks early and I have grown tired of life being so entirely functional and practical that it's ugly. In all of my minimalality I tend to pass up everything that is pretty and serves no practical purpose due to it being completely unnecessary and a dust collector. But I'm ready for homey, cozy, romantic, and comfort....somewhere husband and I can escape and have it be just our's. Somewhere beautiful for us to get lost. Somewhere to birth a baby that is secluded and tucked away. So, I have decided to make our bedroom the haven and escape that a hotel stay proves to be. But better....cause it's our's. It's where we know each other intimately in ways only a married couple will ever know and where our baby will take it's very first breath. So, I busy my nights with quietly planning the transformation of unromantically practical to as pretty as it can get when one has no natural sense of interior decoration. Date night sent us searching for the birthday splurge of new bedding for our new frame and mattress due to arrive this week. I managed to score two free old doors off of the free page of craigslist. One will be painted and used as our new headboard, the other made into a table for the basement. I think I've found an old farm house window for free that will be made into a picture frame. Excitement overtakes the heart as I think about the end result....as long as it proves as good in reality as it is in my head. Therein lies the real test. It'll be interesting and a little entertaining, if nothing else. And anything beats two air mattresses with sleeping bags and white walls...FLAT painted white walls. I'll post pics as I make progress on it.

The humorous side of life seen through a veil of colored leaves and blanketed autumn ground...with every amazing experience comes the unamazing experience. Valley echoes our children's laughter...but so it also echoes the incessant barking of everyone else's dogs. That stuff children smear on flat white painted walls....yeah...it's not all hygienic. The carpet...let's not even go there. Pinecones...they're brutal when stepped on in the middle of the night. Acorns....we've already pulled one from a kid's nose. Trees=bugs. Enough said on that one. We wont even get into that phobia. Just know that when the bugs are big enough to have a conversation with you and sit at your dinner table it's probably not a good thing to smash them with a shoe. So, we corral them out one of the doors in no effort whatsoever to remain humane...but more to preserve the carpet and to keep from hearing the pop. Yuck. Yuck! Makes me want to puke just thinking about it. So, life stays lighthearted as we take the good with the inevitably not so good.

We're preparing to hit the massive 30,000 sq ft farmer's market Thursday morning before the cold weather comes. Supposedly, not only is it a farmer's market but a large flea market along with tons of resources for children to learn agriculture. We'll stock up on stuff for hot soups, stews and chili as the rain settles in and the high hits only 50 on Friday. I really love this.

NC State Fair Day!

State fair loathing husband was coerced into going and found that he is quite in love with state fair days. We moved just in time to be here for pumpkin patches, corn mazes, changing of the leaves, and the fair. In years past we have made an annual tradition to attend the TX state fair, which I can safely say is vastly, substantially larger than North Carolina's. It takes two entire days to cover the grounds of TX but even with slow moving children in tow we were able to cover yesterday's in about 6 hours. The only time we were able to move away from the crowds long enough for a picture was usually to stop and eat. There was tons of fun stuff that they absolutely loved but it was a little impossible to try and take pics between talking to people and doing continuous head counts.





Despite being a cold 59 degrees with winds of 30 mph we had a ton of fun.






How surprised we have been and how overwhelmingly grateful I am for the kindness we have experienced from people here. I went into this move half way expecting the masses here to be a little like dealing with what we encounter in the DFW area when we traveled. We have been met with nothing but kindness and admiration so far. We were stopped continuously by people wanting to talk, ask questions and take pictures. Admittedly, the picture taking has been a little odd and hard to get used to no matter where we are, but it's to the point of being entertaining and more than a little bit comical so we just go with it. Now we laugh and keep going, stopping to talk to those who speak.






It's odd to be here at this place in life. How much neither of us ever expected to be here where we are. Sometimes I look up in life...alot of the time....and it's all just a bit surreal. I really truly love my life. Why some people find that so hard to believe is sad to me....really entirely pathetic, actually. It reveals how unhappy most people are with their life and how true joy is seen as unachievable by most...or even false...that some actually believe it doesn't actually exist. I absolutely love my life. I am head over heels in love with my children and am in awe that we have the ability to take 10 children out in a public place and have people think they are beautiful enough and well behaved enough to have a desire to meet and want to know....that the Lord has done enough of a work in me for others to see me as approachable after years and years of introversion, hiding from people and not having a remote clue what to do with myself in the presence of others....that Brad's walls with life have been torn down and he has the freedom and desire to easily converse with others in kindness instead of being so bothered by the intrusion that it always seemed to be in the past. The Lord has moved mountains within our lives and I continue to stand in awe of this place we occupy now. How faithful He is and how far in every way He has brought our little family...from wanting only 2-4 children to being here now....wholly, totally in love with each other, almost 11 children, 1500 miles away from the only home either of us have ever known. It's sad to me how many people think our lives are fake, this is a fairy tale blog written with rose colored glasses shading all of life, or that joy to this extent is completely unrealistic. This life of mine....it's a gift.....and I am absolutely in awe of it. Our children are loved more than life itself. And our marriage...it's one that few people in life will ever experience. I have been given something in life so amazing that if I take it for granted or waste it away pining after what I don't have or what could be I will have missed the gift in front of me. And the gift I have been given is so much larger than my little tiny limited life...so much bigger than me. We have our fair share of difficult and challenging days....this blog is living proof of that fact....but how exceedingly much I have been given. I love my children. I am desperately in love with my husband who knows absolutely everything about me and continues to love me despite my faults and idiosyncrasies. He is mine and I am blessed. How sad it is to me that so much of the world cannot conceive of the ability to experience this in life.


I am so happy....so grateful to be where I am in life....to be where we are as a family. Total contentment to be where we are but fearful enough of mediocrity that I look forward and embrace the unknown of the future. Oh that we would know life and never allow it to grow dull or old or mundane. I serve a God of change, of life, of newness that continues to change us and mold us into His image. He keeps us moving physically in location from one place in life to another, moving physically... challenging body and mind to go farther, to push beyond the limits where others call it quits...to run, workout, break barriers that hold one back in life in every aspect. He keeps the dynamics of the family changing with the addition of new children, teaching me to look so far beyond my own limited world of self absorption, teaching me the daily task of looking beyond self to see the joy that is to be found lying beyond the flesh that cries "me". He is a God of life, newness, change. The absolute tragedy in life is the apathy that overtakes the majority of the general population. What a loss it is. How much is missed. Mediocrity...one of the saddest things in life to me....that people come to accept it...view themselves as a victim of their own life or circumstances. How grateful I am to be where I am.


Reading back through this post many hours after it was written I realize just how drastically it jumps and skips around....thoughts so difficult for reader to process when attempting to follow jumbled randomness of writer. I have no time left to edit or go back through and try to convey thoughts any clearer. Hopefully as life here grows more routine and slows a little thoughts will once again be clearer both in head and heart.

Movie night after a cold, fun day spent outside. And the new bed finally did get ordered. Since we do not own or operate with any credit cards we had to establish a bank acct here and then continue to wait some more for the debit card to arrive. It only took an extra 10 days for that. Sleepless husband ordered our new bed at 3:30 am this morning. Smashing of the air mattresses together can only do so much. When you're sleeping under two different covers it just kinda feels like you're worlds apart.

Fire and winter pj's on cold autumn nights. Grayson was in the shower so he missed out on this one.

Daybook: Random Things I Have Learned

Outside my window.....

North Carolina acorns that fall in clumps completely randomly and rather shockingly at any given moment thumping you forcefully in the head and making you look absolutely ridiculous as you duck and run for cover

I am thinking.....

that roaches here regularly grow to the size of 11 month old babies

I am thankful for....

the 2nd trimester.

I am wearing......

a magenta colored maternity shirt in which I sorely overestimated cuppage size due to pregnancy enhanced boobs. Instead I have disappointingly surmised that I can stick an entire newborns head in there to nurse and only then would it even begin to come close to filling out nicely enough that it does not woefully sag off of my body in need of bustiness.

I am hearing.....

falling acorns that make me fear for my life

I am remembering.......

that when you have moved from a house with an endless supply of hot water and moved to a house boasting a small hot water tank that you will quickly learn you only have time to wash your body, wash your hair and shave one of two legs before you run out of hot water....and the other leg will have to wait until your next shower.

I am going......

to not think about the dead tree in the front yard that the landlord's wife refuses to let him cut down. Her reason???? ....because it's a tree. Apparently the fact it's more than a little bit dead has eluded her.

I am reading.....

how not to die due to falling acorns.

I am hoping....

that the 10 mandatory laps the children are making around the property line right now will return them to me with a little less energy and alot less complaints of boredom....and that the dude with the trampoline will hurry up and call me back.

On my mind.....

that heating and cooling vents that blow from the floor instead of the ceiling give a whole new meaning to breeziness in unexpected places

Noticing that......

when you are just one person in a shower so big that it comfortably accomodates 2 grown adults the air is so cold in the vast empty space that it no longer matters how hot the water is....it's just going to be a really cold shower.

Pondering.....

that when you are in need of a sanity saving, Calgon shower children will pick the bathroom lock and talk incessantly in the echoey bathroom until you are done. However, when you are stuck in the shower and yelling for any kid within the near vicinity to return the stolen shampoo bottle there is not one child to be found within hearing distance......stranding you in the dwindling hot water, dripping wet.... leaving you no choice but to use your dry towel that no longer covers a growing stomach and run through the house naked and wet to retrieve the missing goods.

Around the house.....

toddler size roaches that have introduced themselves as Bonnie and Clyde, Bert and Ernie, and Julio and Gomaz.

One of my favorite things.....

little boys that have absolutely no fear of roaches larger than they are and will gleefully beat them into oblivion as I stand across the room and wait

Life in pictures.....

19 Weeks!

Just a short update since computer's down for a few days. We heard baby today. All is perfect and I'm feeling sweet baby on a regular basis, usually at night before sleep overcomes. Bonding with this pregnancy and baby has been slow...as it was with Graham and Gatlin's pregnancy. Daily overcoming fears and giving them back to the Lord seems to have become the new norm for pregnancy. The fear never really dissipates once you have experienced the depth of loss we have. I honestly thought it'd be different this time after carrying our sweet duo so uneventfully....but it's not. So, I take it one day at a time and my heart leaps each and every time at the sound of a baby's galloping tiny heart. Measuring the usual 1-2 cm behind gestational weeks and all looks good!

I think we've finally decided on names, but, as of now, they're still subject to change. For the 1st time we've decided to wait for baby's birth day to make any name announcement. Since we don't know gender this time anyway it's not like we can call this baby by name yet. So we've decided to enjoy the element of suspense and save a name announcement for birth day.

To answer the very popular question...we have decided to stick with the G's for a boy....despite great consideration given to straying from it.

For a girl...we will be straying from a name beginning with a vowel but it will end in "ye" like the others, except for Aubrey-girl's which ends in "ey".

Very few people in our lives know that at 30 weeks while pregnant with Graham and Gatlin the Lord heavily impressed upon Brad's and my heart to give them a traditional Hebrew 3rd name. Just as the Israelites did as they built an alter in faith of what God was going to do or to honor a miracle He had performed on their behalf so we felt convicted to give them Hebrew names with great meaning of what He has done for us and what we are believing in faith. So, just as we did with the two of them so we feel led to name this baby as well. After much consideration and prayer we're pretty certain that we have a definite name for a boy or girl. Pretty excited.

I'll try to do another growing baby pic next Sat or so. 20 wks....the 1/2 way point!

Random Meaningless Phone Pics - Updated

So..... I can't see which pic is which when they upload from the phone so I can't really offer any story or description with them for now. So, you're on your own concerning the story behind them all. Since our main computer is down for awhile and no camera pics can be uploaded or any lengthy posts made from phone I figured this is a good filler for now. Life beyond the house!!! I'll edit them and give a narrative when I can.

Amazing beautiful days to discover life beyond the house. Highs here are consistently in the mid 70's while at home they are still reaching into the very high 80's and low 90's, with the last few days being 92 there. I really love it here. We live with the windows open during the day and at night bundle up under mounds of covers as it dips into the low 40's.

His and her's. Wondering why his looks so entirely girly and I get the masucline one. It offered some entertainment around here.

My early morning bed buddy two days ago. Sweet, sweet girl.

And I have no clue why this picture is so huge compared to the others...but.....my early morning bed buddy yesterday. The 1st one was sweeter but I guess the dog works too.

The deck when it's all cleaned up and has no clothes drying on it!

And they say they're in a drought here.

The street on which we live. I love this place.

Graves found in the forest down the street from our home. Pretty amazing. It's become our new research project. Story so far is that baby boy Leon died at the age of 14 months in 1908. They were never able to have anymore children and Daddy Charlie was never able to overcome the grief. He went crazy, killing his wife Lillian in 1920. 2 days later he committed suicide. We still have yet to prove any of that is true but story from all the locals concerning it remains consistent. Pretty sad but entirely interesting as far as history goes.

Checking out the roads around us and mapping out my new running course. Running these roads guarantees some worthwhile hills! And it's paved!

Paths to nowhere that are just fun to walk. The trees are starting to change on these paths and it offers some amazing morning solace just to walk them. It beckons the feet to go running. Slowly working back up to it. I think one of the biggest advantages that made for such an easy birth with Graham and Gatlin was being in shape and having stayed in shape the entire pregnancy....running up until 21 weeks and continuing to work out up until they came at 40 wks 2 days.

Two front teeth are out! No more black teeth! In come the new pearly white ones. We waited a long time for those two teeth to get loose.