This homey little place truly is like moving back into our little dusty home out on the prairie...and every heart's desire....relocated 1700 miles northeast in a sundrenched, rainy, 4 season state. It's not so huge it's obnoxious but not so small we're tripping over each other. And it's just homey. It's not permanent...nothing ever is anymore....but in an act of abounding grace, we are coming into a resting point in this state where we can settle for awhile and just rest.....just enjoy life and our passions for a quiet season. No mold, no mold induced ongoing sicknesses, no mice, no ticks, no flooding basements and pervading stink. We're just hidden for awhile. A private address where we can rest, come up for air, tucked away from the world at large. It's a house of light and windows and sun and rain, gardens, and flowers, woods and pastures. Oldest can return to taxidermy in a state where he can also pursue his crazy insane athletic abilities and gifts. A return to all he left yet now in addition to Scouts, rock climbing, white water rafting, mountain camping, friends, and an upcoming year of football. Children can return to hunting, we can return to venison and no longer having to purchase meat, horses, goats, chickens and our new addition of ducks and a cow. We have no carpet, no subfloors, no peeling linoleum. We have 24 sunny windows to throw open wide in this mild(er) climate state. Hot water that never runs empty and doesn't cost us our life savings just paying the monthly bill. And I just cry every time I think about it. Because, as hard as it's been...I feel so....undeserving. My attitude about this journey....it hasn't exactly won any Mother Teresa awards. And somedays...when I worked my way through basement and mold and sickness....elbow deep in puke and fever, mice crap and mold....I just found myself resisting the urge to blow up this whole portion of the eastern seaboard.....as deputy landlord sat watching comfortably on his porch, smoking his cigarette and drinking his Cheerwine. And then I'd cuss a long string of words that would send a sailor running to confession, stifle the urge to build an atomic bomb...and hope that just maybe he saw the love and maybe he'd feel something in life he's never felt before.
And really....despite it all...I would've stayed here contentedly. We truly had reached a point of total contentment in this place. The love for him...for his family....even for our little dungeon down in the forest....it runs deep. But I see what God has done, all that He has restored, all that He has given, all of His mercy for all the things with which I have struggled, soul searching questions of kids, the happy hearts that continually work on house projects despite our weariness at times. And I look at what we have been given, this time we are entering. Everyone piled on couches once again...reading on rainy days, sprawled out on blankets underneath huge towering trees, dogs flopped everywhere, huge family fire pit, tents once again erected under huge starry skies while daddy camps with a bunch of excited, eager, tent hungry little people. Porch swing where husband and I once again go to unwind and just sit in the quiet of evening watching sky above slowly rotate....a return to a slower simpler life....but changed in a million ways. Changed. We've learned humility, we've known betrayal, we've learned to live out forgiveness and kindness. We're living reconciliation to deeply missed family....4 1/2 yrs of silence all washed away. I've known and risen above temptation in ways I never imagined, I've learned to choose integrity over temptation and all the destruction that my actions could cause. But mostly...I've just learned the height and breadth and depth of grace and mercy and forgiveness. Because my weaknesses and shortcomings...they span the width and depth of the Grand Canyon. Life...it just changes you. But it's not all bad.
The "front" door.
Entering into the sunroom, which will be our new dining room.
Tons and tons of windows..for a grand total of 24 in 1700 sq ft. My heart is happy.
Looking down into sunroom/dining room.
Our functional little kitchen. The kitchen is the smallest we have ever had but it'll definitely work.
Flowery master bedroom door in background
Gettin' comfy.
To the right.....an official laundry room again!
Window looks down into sunroom
Living area....all the windows in the world.
Trading out a fireplace for a wood stove. Kinda sad and kinda cool all at the same time.
More windows!
Lots and lots of walls to paint to hide the few thousand fingerprints it will experience in its near future. Smallest of 3 bedrooms is visible at end of hallway. Larger one on right, bathroom on left.
Master closet! Plenty of room to house the everybody/family closet...out of sight again! The shelving is not built in and we've been given permission to repurpose this shelving in other bedroom closets in order to accommodate our basket friendly shelving.
Master bedroom. Bathroom visible on left.
Master bath...with a huge deep tub I fully intend to utilize. It's only been 10 years since we've had a tub in our own bathroom.
Kids bathroom. Clawfoot tub will eventually be switched out for a large wall to wall tub with built in shower, as I'm pretty sure the clawfoot shower curtain enclosure won't stand up to 12 kids use. Tub finish is chipping in bottom of tub anyway so landlord was happy to fulfill this request also. It will come in time. I'm not too worried about it.
In ground basketball goal, soon to be revived....waiting patiently for the use of a thousand kids.
Chicken pasture to the left, abandoned greenhouse garden to the right. Supposedly in spring it blooms a thousand different things....all planted for an interim time but never quite made it to their intended location. Lying between pasture and garden...the quiet little footpath to barn and stairs that lead to children's playhouse above.
The back porch.
The 10 acres of woods and a running creek beyond
The circle drive.
From the porch looking towards driveway
View from the future porch swing.
Lots and lots of bike-able creeks and trails.
The new driveway
In conclusion.....words that were given to us, spoken over us, almost 2 years ago on Feb 6, 2012, as we struggled so much in this place. Jobless, sick, treading through ankle deep basement water, naming mice, treating mold, drying a million homesick tears, confused, desperately yearning to return home, and completely ignorant to all that still lie ahead to conquer. This is a testament to a faithful God that does give hope when all seems hopeless, to a God that is faithful beyond all measure and who does come fulfilling promises He gives. This is not the end. This is only the beginning...or really the middle....of all that God seeks to do within our life. And perhaps this is just a resting time before more hard work lies ahead. But we're here and promises are being fulfilled in ways unimaginable. I anticipate all that lies ahead. Because for all that we've been through, overcome, and walked over the course of our lifetime....it pales in comparison to the blessings that lie ahead and what He has planned for our lives. It's not about our comfort....it never was and never is. It's about the fact that He is faithful, he sees, and He cares enough to instill within us that which will accomplish His purpose. Let the world see that He is a living, breathing, moving God...and when in some of the darkest places of life...He gives hope. He does fulfill promises and that which He speaks.
I know everyone and their grandmother is sending you this scripture right now... But bear with me. Jeremiah 29:10 "...I will visit you and fulfill my good word to you, to bring you back to this place......" then, vs 11...read each word carefully my friend,
"for I know the plans ( 11 other translations say THOUGHTS TOWARD YOU... Which is a whole other email of stuff god is showing me!) I have for you, DECLARES the Lord, plans (thoughts) to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future! ( exclamation mine;)
... The rest of the verse should thrill you too. "then....THEN( once you know my intention for you) you will call upon me, and come and pray to me, and I WILL LISTEN TO YOU! You will seek me and FIND me when you seek me with ALL your heart. I will gather you from all the nations and places I have banished you( does it not feel like you've been banished a little?) declares the lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."
Now my sweet friend, I do not presume to know the mind of god for your family... I know that our mind is not his, our thoughts are not his, and our ways are not his. But the more that you lose yourself in him, in HIS thoughts... They start to become ours! We begin to think and manifest in our lives HIS PLANS for us. I want you to know today that he sees your heart, he is not threatened by your anger, he has allowed it for what he is about to bring about in you. He wants you to know that he does not consider your tears or your anger sinful in any way at all.... But rather necessary and ordained by him for the work he is doing even now in you, in your husband and in the individual hearts of your children. He created you to feel deeply, and it is altogether ok that you feel this shift and movement of him on an emotional level. It is a necessary earthquake and shifting, but know this... It is. It is not haphazard even though it feels like it! He has known far before you ever even had children that he would bring these changes, struggles and shiftings into your lives... Into their lives. He very much knows the thoughts and plans he has for each if your children, for their hearts, for their desires and dreams, and for their future spouses and lives. In his Sovereignty has allowed this move, these struggles, these shiftings, this on again off again existence and although it hadn't fit YOUR plan or view of how it will play out.... It PERFECTLY fits his. He is preparing you and your man for greatness, for prosperity and for blessing... He refuses to put new wine in old wine skins and he is pouring out every last drop of old so that he can open the floodgates if new, fresh, delicious wine. The new wine will be unlike anything you have ever imagined... It will flow freely and continually. Don't try to contain it, don't try to even understand it... Just bask in it, Soak it in like a sponge, bathe in it like a free flowing waterfall. It will come in a thousand different ways, everyday.... Watch for it! Taste of it, and see that the lord is GOOD! Fear not, release your fear for your children.... You are on a wild adventure, the nourishing wine of blessing will flow over and through their lives as well ... All will drink and be satisfied. God would have you know that he is not a god of lack.... Until now you have eaten from the plate of want and scarcity, and he has ordained and allowed that season. Prepare for a new season. New wine being poured forth onto the Bettis family... And just like when Jesus performed his first miracle of turning the water into wine at the wedding.... The hosts couldn't possibly afford the quality of wine that came pouring forth from his hand. When the mediocre wine had run out... They were fearful and nervous... Yet what HE brought forth was more than they could have even hoped for It was the highest quality... And there was more leftover!!! ! Let him do what he desires to do. Your job is to prepare the hearts of your family to see him as he is.... To turn their faces up, put their hope in the wine giver and to prepare to drink deeply. The lord will have you know that he is fashioning Grayson into a mighty man of god, that this journey both up until now and from this point on are exactly on target for the heart and life he us fashioning in your precious son! Fear not... For his future, fear not for his dreams, fear not for his hunting, his taxidermy or his future wife. God would have you know that Grayson's future is secure, that his wife is lovely beyond anything you can imagine and is being prepared for him even as we speak. Do not worry how they will meet their spouses, says the lord, I am the director of all paths and it only requires a simple thought of mine to have her path meet with his, and it will be more perfect than you could have ever orchestrated yourself... So cease striving and know that I am god! This yoke is not yours to carry my precious girl, which is why it is rubbing you raw and jerking you around. My yoke is easy and my burden is light.... There will be provision for horses, riding, swing sets, ju jitsu and all the multitudes of other desires that haven't even been uncovered yet. Trust me.... Trust my heart... Trust my nature ... And where you have a skewed picture of my nature... I am about to shatter it and show you TRUTH. The birth of your little one is in my hands, your closet situation has not escaped my awareness.... Your septic, your boxes..... Your dirty basement and even your a/c are being allowed by me. Let gratitude fill your heart, release your fear, let me fill you with all that I am... Let my thoughts become your thoughts and soon... Very soon.... You will ask anything in my name ( translated NATURE btw;) and it will be done. Stay hidden in me... Let me do all that I desire in you, and in your family.... And I promise it will blow your mind.
The testimony of these months, will be used by me to minister far beyond any boundary you could lay for me ... They seem long, they seem scary but that is all part and parcel of what I desire to accomplish. Now you shall go out with joy .... And be led forth with peace.... The mountains and the hills shall break forth before you! There will be shouts of joy and all the trees of the fields shall clap their hands. My dear daughter.... Weeping has endured for the night, but morning is dawning... And JOY has come! Drink deeply!
I love you my friend..... I count it joy to journey with you... Now, to him who is able ( and willing) to do abundantly, exceedingly more than we can ask, think or imagine... Be glory and honor FOREVER! AMEN ( so be it)!
He lives. We. are blessed beyond comprehension...and our children....they are living these things out. They see it. They know it intimately. It is evident within each of their lives. They are joyful, happy, laughing, loved by everyone kids. They know things I never knew at their age. They are seeing things I never saw. I have no greater joy than to know that my children walk in truth. "All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children."
