To Run Again

...kind of. The dr was right about one thing...the symptoms of strep were doing quite the job at masking the symptoms of morning sickness. Sooo...here I sit back in the morning sickness boat again. There are some rather good days coming around but then there are the ones that any kind of movement at all is reason to puke. I've never in my life suffered from motion sickness...until now. It would be a good thing if I never suffered from it again. How can the act of sheer movement on dry, firm ground make one sick when you're supposed to be cooking, cleaning and carrying on with life???? How is possible to just merely walk and get sick??? But somehow I manage to.

So....in a heroic effort to make more of myself, get back into some routine of normalcy.....instead of feeling like the lethargic piece of nothingness I have become.....I took off running. And it actually felt pretty good. Though I think it is safe to say at this point that if I ever felt like an elephant prior to today my status of a thudding beast has been undeniably confirmed. To say it was rough going is putting it mildly. But, as always, once I got over the hump it did take on a familiar rhythm to some extent. To say it was ever effortless in the deal is laughable and the level of difficulty has skipped a few notches going straight from difficult to just plain miserable and hard. But...ever the reason I do it to begin with.....I live for the high that comes afterwards. And it is unrivaled. So I run and thud and breathe hard and stay miserable for awhile and then flop down in the yard amidst kids, dogs, cats and chickens and revel in what I can accomplish....and how much faster labor will go and how much better I will look, how much better I will feel. And I revel in the sheer euphoria of just having accomplished it, knowing that I am strong enough to overcome. And I can't help but think that despite the eventually largely rounded self that is sure to come I will be able to maintain some form of health, fitness, strength and toned physique in the deal...if that is possible when one's stomach is protruding 4 ft out from oneself. One can only hope. And if nothing else.....maybe it'll give mental strength for the mind games that come during labor....the "I quit", I can't" and "I'm done with this" moments....because just as I battle all of that in labor I, too, battle it when I run. Running is nothing but preparation and training for all of life. Personally I think it trains the mind to become a habitual overcomer. The transformation takes place within to one that never doubts the ability to overcome because it has been praticed so very many times before. All of the training and mental discipline finally takes shape and manifests during the deepest and most intense of warfare as the overcomer rises to victory.

I will do this...pregnant or not. Physical endurance, mental toughness, inner strength, determination to succeed with grace, dignity and some amount of poise still left....in running, in birth, in life in general. The way I figure it all...one has nothing to lose and everything to gain when it comes to running. So, I've taken the torch back up and will run.....run uphill, downhill and everything in between. I can't help but wonder just how long it's going to take to get back to where I left off at 2 miles. But I face defeat if I let the negativity take hold and grow so once again I begin one step at a time. My journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step...and another....and yet another. Three quarters of a mile....1 mile.....1 and 1/2 miles.....then back to 2. Then on to the 3 mile goal I have set. I may have been temporarily deterred but I will not quit and I refuse to give it all up. I've come too far to just quit. And I refuse to be that one sitting on the couch eating bon bons, cookies and indulging in every craving that takes root over the next few months.

Japanese Yoshino Cherry

But, mental bunny trails....back to running. Based on what I just experienced 2 miles may be awhile in coming. But I'll get there. And once baby comes and I miraculously drop 20 pds in 2 days from the miracle of birth I may just surprise myself and run 4 miles since I became so accustomed to running 2 or 3 with 25-30 lbs of pregnancy on board.

Azalea Formosa

Moving on.....this has absolutely nothing in the world to do with running but is just more of life in general. Somehow we have managed to acquire yet another very nice, well built chicken coop and 8 more hens and 3 more roosters...which brings our poultry count up to 80 something birds in which to expand our chicken love. The dear Baptist preacher neighbor living in the parsonage next door has accepted the offer for a Baptist church in Mason. In his move his chickens, that were actually hatched from our eggs, were to be sold. We took them in and now have chickens and their coops free ranging in 2 different pastures now. Our new 8 hens will become our family's laying chickens so that Grayson is free to sell the rest.

Sugar Maple

Among other news...we ordered 20 free trees from the Arbor Day Foundation. Mother gave a 10.00 donation to receive 10 "free" trees and we gave a 10.00 donation to receive 10 "free" trees. Among the collection we will receive 10 trees specifically for autumn color and 10 for spring color. Among those will be white dogwoods, eastern redbuds, sugar maples, Japanese red maples and on and on. We'll divide them all up so we each end up with 5 each of autumn and spring. Tree climbing boys of our's fell in love with the gigantic 70 to 100 ft Redwood Dawn so we ordered that along with an apple tree and a Japanese Yoshino cherry tree. And then some fuchsia Azaleas to line our front fence with. Supposedly they all do well in our blast furnace of a desert state so we shall see. I also ordered a Zephirine Drouhin thornless rose bush and some purple clematis from Jackson and Perkins. Excitement has overcome our merry little crew. With test studying husband ever absent these days the children I decided it would be a good endeavor to tackle while he remains away. It'll keep us active as we clean flowerbeds, dig holes and live outside in the wind. We would've been a little wiser to have begun this project about 6 weeks ago since the rattlesnakes have already begun to awaken from their hibernating state. But, as with anything when one goes digging around in bushes....exercise caution. Our little twigs of trees will arrive as just that...said from past experience. Years ago grand visions of what would arrive from Arbor Day disappointed as the box was gently opened and there sat 10 bare root sticks....as in...twigs. Those wonderful little miracles were to be our trees. We planted one of the 10 at our old house in the city and it grows to this day....towering above all houses in the area. The older children love driving by it to check on it, remembering the part they played in planting it.

Redwood Dawn

So it is that we set off to garden and I resume running. Trees, bushes and veggies should be among our successes this year. Along with the success of having reached a 3 mile goal.

Zephirine Drouhin climbing rose

I will run. I will dig holes. I will live out in the sun and let the wind blow through my hair. I will experience spring and summer and fall. And we will welcome winter with a new baby. And I will run through it all.