Journey to the 5K: Progress Report

"It is not enough to take steps that may someday lead to a goal; each step must itself be a goal and a step likewise."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.

Since the response was so great to the running post through both comments and emails I've decided to inspire us all and post progress reports, quotes and anything I come across that might help motivate us all on this journey of reaching our goal. If you'd like you can post your own progress report on your own blog and state in the comments that you they are now up on your blog....until I figure out a more technical and appealing way to link to your progress or you may just leave your accomplishments in the comments of each Friday's report on here.

My goal each week is to run 3-4 days and on my off running days do some sort of strength and endurance training to increase my cardiovascular ability....since it seems to be lacking more than a little. I have begun learning jui jitsu with strong, tank like husband which serves many purposes for me. The only real fear I have left that I can find within myself at this point is being caught by surprise by a man with intentions that are far from honorable. This fear never once was entertained in my life until this past summer. I do trust wholly in the Lord and know that we are protected and covered in His blood but just as I rely on God to provide for us I also take the steps to balance our accounts and make sure our money is in order. So just as I rely on the Lord for my total protection and know that His ways are indeed so much higher than my ways so do I take care of what he has given me and seek to be wise in protecting the life and healthy body He has given me. Big loyal 70, 80 and 100 lb dogs by my side help divert but in the event the dogs are ever shot and I am left alone I have every intention of putting up a pretty good fight both armed and unarmed. The jui jitsu factor for me covers self defense, endurance and strength. Fighting against patient, instructional husband is perfect practice for anything the world may throw this way. So I figure it is a multi functional thing for me to do and at this point in my life if it doesn't serve many purposes than it is not worth my time, energy or effort. After processing through it for weeks this was one of those few things that finally made the cut.

We were also given a Wii a few Christmases ago so the goal is to incorporate a workout through that avenue on my off days. I've come to have a love/hate relationship going with Mia, my fitness coach. You have to love her ability to never get out of breath for hours upon hours when you lay half dead in the middle of your living room floor. She's become my new best friend and even makes me aware of the days I don't "show up"...which, of course, does nothing for the irritation factor. So it is that my off days of running consist of other things such as meeting up with Mia and entertaining my children in various absurd ways. At the moment Ivye thinks it's entirely funny for the children to put on happy music and watch me go into a squatting position and then shoot straight up into the air over and again so I do that at least 15 times a day through 2 and 3 minute songs. I figure that HAS to count for something....at least my quads, calves and hamstrings are saying it does. And Gavin thinks it's the best activity of the day to hang on like a monkey while I do push-ups so I figure I've got an extra 24 lbs of resistance clinging to my back as I work on arm and shoulder strength.

Do a little more each day than you think you possibly can.

This week's work:

Mon: nothing...lovely, huh?

Tues: Run day: 5 minute warmup, 8 minutes of running w/ 2 minute breaks for 30 minutes, 5 minute cool down

Wed: Wii My Fitness Coach upper body

Thurs: Run Day w/ Mother: 10 minute warmup, 6 minute running, 4 minute break, 4 minute running with 2 minute breaks for 30 minutes, 5 minute cooldown - conquered my first major hill and didn't die!!

Friday: Wii My Fitness Coach lower body, jui jitsu

Sat: (proposed plan) Run Day: 5 minue warmup, 8 minute running 2 minute break for 30 minutes, 5 minute cooldown

Sunday: Rest Day




Inspiration and motivation that spoke to me this week.


"People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing." Dale Carnegie

"You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind."


"They can because they think they can." Virgil


"Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier

"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will." Vince Lombardi

"Success isn't how far you got, but the distance you traveled from where you started."

Some Belated Christmas Pics

Daddy's Christmas visit......and the children have been on me to change the picture to the right since the last one was 2 years old. So, this would be the pic I just cropped and stuck over there since I couldn't really come up with any recent acceptable ones that I could think of.
Grant was way too busy messing with his gun and Gavin's mouth is entirely dirty but you get the general idea

Christmas at Nanny and Pawpaw's...you gotta love group pics..nose picking and all. KNeeling little boy in red shirt and black pants is Milo, Brad's sister's little boy


Sweet happy Ivye playing with much loved Granny



...and just loving

Hard at play winning the world's wars

Life's always better in 2's

.......or 4's. Filthy dirty boys ready for a much needed bath. So Grant was a bit mad that he was being forced to stand by Garrett who had just, prior to this picture, taken him to the floor. Therefore, Grant's loooking a little less than thrilled.

This would be before they tackled each other

So We Forgot a Kid

The unbelievable part? It's not exactly the first time. Though I can safely say it's the first time we managed to get 30 miles before realizing it. The even more ridiculous part? I went room to room checking and double checking to make sure we had all of our crap packed up and didn't leave anything behind at Mother's house. Yep....we sure had it all....the stuff, that is. Not one toy left out, not one article of clothing misplaced, not one piece of personal property forgotten. Except perhaps maybe a tiny little sleeping girl. Mother was with the children and I so it took 2 adults and 7 other children to forget one. So....does this mean we can now safely say we have a large family? I think we might have just made the cut. We pretty much do roll call on most days but apparently we need to do it a little more often than we do....like maybe actually make a habit out of it? We came to realize this little fact after stopping for lunch and I glanced at her sippy cup. Thinking I needed to grab it and wondering why she hadn't fussed for it while on the road. I turned to discover her seat went unoccupied. Suddenly...like being struck by lightening.....I tried to perceive that I might have actually not really loaded her into the van. Running to Grayson and Evye who sat occupying Mother's truck beside me I hysterically asked them if either of them had loaded her. Both replied with blank looks..."You said not to cause she was sleeping. You'd wake her up when we were ready to leave." Soooo...maybe I kinda forgot to wake her up.



On a little different note....Garrett's aforementioned booger. Yes.....the very odd and strange things children do. Normally I would not bring up such disgusting topics but I figured this was worthy of at least an honorable mention. Someday when I am 90 and I wonder what my days were filled with when I had lots of little guys underfoot I will be able to refer back to the archives of my life and remember such noteworthy things as this. Occurring also in FW this past weekend Garrett came to me with huge, blue, honest eyes. Infamous, mischievous grin in place, "Mama, I picked my booger." Upon glancing at the alleged booger even I was in total shock. There upon his finger had to be about the biggest booger I have ever laid eyes on. It appeared to be the right color so I never saw fit to doubt the authenticity of the object attempting to be handed over to me. As I went to discard of it, since this was obviously not floor flicking friendly in size or stickiness, I came to see rather jagged edges that could not have been pleasant to live with. As any good parent does I laid it out on the paper towel and examined the said booger only to find that it was no booger at all but a balled up straw wrapper from Sonic. I have no clue how long this foreign object has been in place or when he finally decided he no longer was comfy with it in there. I do know that the van was thoroughly cleaned out and we haven't been to Sonic in a week. That is just plain nasty even in my book.


The reason for our trip to FW.....our newest addition. Though we were not by any means actively looking for a new dog this sweet boy just kinda found us. Upon seeing his picture it was just hard to get him out of the head. It took 3 weeks of talking..and pleading....with Brad to finally give in to yet another dog. Beo's story....they had asked the rescue to take him but she declined since he was not full blood GSD. After thinking it over his day of euthanization came. He was scheduled to be put down at 10am and our dearly loved rescue lady put the call in at 9:50 or so to save him due to what a great dog he is..despite the fact he doesn't really meet rescue "standards". They put a halt on his euthanization at 5 til and he was spared. And there he sat at her rescue overlooked by most due to the fact he was less than 100% GSD...until we found him and heard his story.The funny part...he is 1/2 German Shepherd and 1/2 Malamute and at 100 lbs is not full grown. I LOVE this dog! So it was that we spent Friday night hanging out with Mother, Saturday afternoon/evening on the town with sweet friends and Sunday was dog adoption day. It is safe to say that "big" does not do this dog justice....at least when you get him in a 15 passenger van with 8 children.....6 of who are still in carseats. Anyone who has never driven 300 miles with a 100 lb lap dog, 8 children and a newly potty trained toddler has never really fully experienced life. I think Grayson, Evye and I laughed the majority of the way home. However...a side note here on the potty training toddler....though Gavin has been completely potty trained for quite some time I haven't really trusted him while traveling since completely disassembling a carseat due to urinary factors is one of my less than favorite things to do. But this trip was made with him in underwear and not even an accident occurred. We did manage to stop for 2 bathroom breaks and it never fails that if one goes they all go....at least boys. Girls don't really seem to have the love of pasture peeing that the boys seem to have. So, unpiling everybody around the dog was quite the humorous event and provided some great entertainment.

So this would be our new 100 lb boy, Beo.

In the back making social rounds.

Moving up as he greets

And reclaiming his spot up front.

My new front seat buddy. My view looking to the right as we drove down lonely highways.

When he finally 1/2 way figured out he couldn't exactly occupy my lap while I drove this would be how we continued home.

Sunset across Texas

Waiting for me to climb back in

The Simple Woman's Daybook

So I found this and pretty much fell in love. When writer's block occurs....or life just happens...and I don't get around to posting much this is a good, fun, g rated post filler. Not that I have any fear that writer's block will ever in a lifetime occur...as I have plenty of entertaining things that could fill pages up..such as the things that come from the mouths of my children....both g rated and not so g rated. We won't go into the not so g rated ones. But things such as Garrett's alleged booger that turned out to be a straw wrapper that lived within his nose for the past week.....or the van's deer guard that fell off after exceeding speeds of 60 while crossing a filled creekbed 30 miles from nowhere......or the 100 lb dog that attempted to help me drive the 300 miles home. Or I could fill pages up with the amusing things they say such as Garrett coming to me one moment ago, as I am home alone with only Aubrey and the 3 little ones...and commenting about a Nilla wafer...."This is a cookie. It smells like a cookie and looks like a cookie but it is just a cookie." I am quite certain that our efforts of procreating have produced child geniuses and future Einsteins. Or such as something like Aubrey's question a few days ago, "Mom, why do we like dogs so much and keep getting them? Cause we have bad attitudes and you don't want anymore kids around....just dogs???" Can't say that I haven't contemplated that thought myself, sweet Aubrey girl. Or things such as Evye and Aubrey completely draining the entire hot water tank while staying at Mother's and Aubrey flushing the commode for 10 minutes straight trying to heat it back up while Evye stands in the cold shower saying loudly "Not yet....." over and over. Or the many songs in which they get the words totally screwed up. This seems to be an up and coming trend around here.

I sing to the children every once in awhile when I put them to bed and Garrison's song request a few nights ago....

"Mom, would you please sing me the song about when Santa cried?"

"Ummm....buddy, I don't know that one. When did Santa cry?"

"I don't know but there's a song about it."

"Hmmm....I'll have to think about it. You want me to make one up about Santa crying?...cause I really don't know of any sad songs about a jolly fat guy."

Entirely frustrated with me he states, "Mom....I'll guess I'll just sing it!"

He begins to sing "Sanctified" by Mercyme.

Or the song the children and I heard in the van the other day on our way to FW. Chorus repeated 100 times too many, "Walk on". Grayson and Evye finally asked about the 67th time it was repeated...."Why does she want gum so bad????"

Or Steven Curtis Chapman's song "God is God" in which the words are "God is God and I am not". Repeated mistakenly around here by many little singing voices as...."I am God and He is not." That's lovely.

Or yet another one...Jeremy Camp's "Empty Me" in which it states, "I need more of you and less of me" sung by many little people and usually myself too....."I want more of me and less of you." Yep..I'd say we're definitely on the right track.

Or today in the truck with Evye and Aubrey the song states, "I am so satisfied...more than I used to be" or something to that effect. Evye's question. "Mom...did you hear that???!!! He just sang that he's so fatter than he used to be!!!!"

So anyway...bunny trail there. But I found this and found it to be entirely interesting and fun. I didn't put my name at the bottom of the host page as I will probably do nothing but make fun of it and give unacceptable answers. So, I refrain from actually officially joining....as I find it is so much more fun to answer these with humor instead of answering in all dignity. I mean....who really cares what the weather is doing in your corner of the world, what you're wearing...cause I promise you it is entirely not all that enticing, what you are remembering or anything else. I mean...really......who cares what people 3 states away are having for dinner or if their dog barked today??? Not me.

But honestly...I humbly admit that I do find them interesting to some extent....a little bit..sometimes. Despite the fact I find it hard to answer them without humor I do like to read some people's thoughts.....kinda. I have to admit that some people are just plain boring. But the unboring ones....yep, I like those.

So I bring humor to this and do not dare add my name to the list of people actually participating...since I'd probably get kicked off the acceptable followers list. And hopefully nobody sees my little avatar picture square down there on the followers and clicks on it only to discover my interpretation of this highly popular thing to do. So here's Daybook entry #1 that I'm sure goes against the grain of the others. But I figure life is boring enough as it is....why not liven it up a little where you can with a little humorous truth????

For today...from my first daybook attempt:

Outside my window....2 naked little boys refilling cat food bowls.

I am thinking....the 14 month old should probably quit chewing on the knife.

I am thankful....for the dog that just crapped all over the playroom and shop.

I am wearing.....nothing? Alright, so maybe I have on 3 inch thick socks.

I am remembering....the dog crap that I need to clean up..and the fact I should probably get dressed?

I am going....to beat some kids if they don't stay in the bed.

I am currently reading....the ingredients label of my Bath and Body splurge....Black Raspberry Vanilla body spray. Why is the first ingredient always alcohol?? Do you really want to go spraying that all over your body??? Apparently I do...and about 50 other million people in the world that keep them in business.

I am hoping....that the middle bathroom sink will quit smelling like something died in there and someday will drain again. Really!

On my mind.....the naked little boy standing behind me in the same chair I sit in.

Noticing that....the computer desk seriously needs to be cleaned off despite sweet, entirely non- organizational husband's resistance to it.

Pondering these words.....I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy.

From the kitchen...dishes and dirty cabinets....and alot of 1/2 eaten carrot sticks.

Around the house.....too many awake kids.

One of my favorite things......an organized desk...which does not exist when husband is home for any length of time.

From my picture journal....look closely at Gavin (pastel blue shirt w/ green/blue turtle shorts)

For the Love of Running

I am a runner. I have discovered that which I love. It is freedom. It is ability. It is challenge. It is stress relief. It is fresh air. It is difficult. It is time alone. It is time spent in the sweet presence of others. It is blissful silence. It is noisy, excited chatter. It is sweet fellowship with coaching, encouraging, motivational husband. It is the belief he has in me to do anything I set my mind to. It is the love of pushing myself to see what else lies within me....what I am capable of. It is the appreciation of being healthy...loving and being so entirely grateful for the functioning body God has given me. It is the hot oatmeal and cup of coffee waiting at the end. It is appreciation for all of life. It is the joy of finishing. It is the exhilaration of attaining a goal. It is motivation to accomplish other things that I thought I could never do. It brings clarity. It means a productive day lies ahead. It is the love of always going farther than before. It is the growth of those things which make one a better person. It is.....Perseverance. Determination. Passion. Strength. Challenge. Power. Commitment. Endurance. Effort. Purpose. Self Discipline.

Determination is often the first chapter in the book of excellence.

Yes, I love to run. What began as a fun goal to motivate turned into the discovery of a new love. So it is that I will run my first 5K on March 6th at the annual River Run. Granted, this is not a far distance by any stretch of the imagination as it is only 3 .1 miles but there was a day I could not even run for a full two minutes. When I began I would get to 1 min:51 sec and was quite certain imminent death was only a heartbeat away. And I am by far worlds away from being the most graceful, feminine, perfectly postured, inspiring runner. I am not that 130 pound, long haired beauty out there.....but the love and passion for it are there. I say all of that to say....it is possible. It is all possible."The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

To bring some reality to my current running ability.....a conversation that took place while out yesterday afternoon.

Grayson (effortlessly running with me): "Mom, is this hard for you?"

Me (only managing one word answers): "Nope."

Grayson: "Are you tired yet?"

Me: "Nope."

Grayson: "Then why are you breathing so hard?"

Me: "Cause."

Grayson: "And you're going slow too."


Ummm......thank you, son. Nothing like a little reality to it all. I proceeded to inform him... between gasping breaths.....that I knew I could go farther so I pushed on despite the urge to stop. He then stated in his ever practical view of life that if I could continue on then I could speed up....so the challenge was on to sprint the remaining distance home. Down 1/4 of the street, around the corner, down the driveway. And we did. Of course, I about passed out when we got there and he won...but I did it.

The difference in the unattainable and the attainable lies in a person's determination.

To me it's important for them to see the importance of not quitting...the perseverance of it all. How can I expect them to go the distance and stretch themselves if I do not practice it myself? How can I expect 100% of their effort if I have not taught them how to give it? How can I expect self discipline of them if I myself have none?

There is one quality which one must possess to attain the goal......and that is clarity of purpose. This is the knowledge of what one wants and a burning desire to achieve it.

So, I run. I run because I just like it. I love the way it makes me feel...what it requires of me....what it gives back to me. I run for me. For Brad. For my children. Out of total gratefulness for my body. I run because I can.


I have a goal. 5K. March 6th.

Where there is passion and desire there will always be new horizons.

Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second.


Believe in yourself. You must do that which you think you cannot.

Integrity comes when character is tested.

The greatest waste in the world is the difference between what we are and what we could become.

The New Plumber in Town

.....would be me. And I should clarify that that's not exactly my butt crack showing there but it's about what I feel like so I figure it only did this topic justice. I now, without any professional training or plumbing classes in my pocket, am quite certain I qualify as your newest plumbing resource. And might I say, it is more experience in the industry than I ever wanted to have in my entire life. In fact, I have become so proficient at it that I now am training my children in the ways of plumberhood. In the last 3 weeks I have safely and not so safely....or sanitarily....fished out entire pieces of pizza, the entire contents of a can of raisins, numerous rolls of toilet paper, army men, pieces of board games, marbles, chapstick, plastic spoons, not so plastic forks, race cars, a toothbrush or two...one of those would be sweet, hardworking husband's but if I don't say he's none the wiser for it. Along with this merry little array of toilet bound items was what must have been the entire collection of tacks falling like rain out of the ceiling that were attempting to hold up a blanket fort around the top bunk. Of course, they were merrily transported and unceremoniously dumped into the already floating circus happening within the poop bowl. Oh yes....little and not so little glow in the dark stars that are now losing their grip on the wall were among the fished out contraband. Below the floating circus up top lay the sunken treasures of the deep. Now any good person knows no one in their right mind would try to flush this stuff down so the only real way to solve the problem.....start fishing. And why everyone feels so entirely obligated to poop on top of this watery fiasco I have no clue in the least but apparently they all feel the need to go add to it....or at least try to sink those items which float. I think lots of little boys just can't resist the game of trying to bomb the targets....or something to that effect.

My 3rd week into this as I am fishing out crap...not literally....well, literally I was fishing around crap....I began to envision owning one of the toilets in those ever convincing commercials. Those flush and go toilets that people promise will flush a beach ball along with just about anything else you ever imagined flushing.....plus some more.....all at the same time. I, in my ignorance, just figured these golden toilets were discreetly advertising the ability to flush turds the size of small dogs but am now much wiser after my weeks of toilet fishing experience. These toilets are really made for the parents of young children....the children that somehow think it is hysterically funny to throw crap...and not the bodily kind....into the toilet. If I could manage to convince this same little girl of pooping in it as much as she throws crap in it I think I'd save myself a whole lot of time, energy and effort that is currently being spent on toilets these days.

So, I was just throwing the long handled spoons away after each commode dipping session. With my limited range of brain function I couldn't imagine ever having to stick that same spoon back into a pot of soup. Somehow I can manage to cloth diaper and rewash the same pooped in diaper over and again but could not ever even begin to imagine having to stick the poop spoon back into the kitchen rotation. But as I started to run out of long handled kitchen spoons I began to see I had a slight problem going. After numerous trips to the dollar store to buy yet more long handled spoons I finally wised up a little. We now have a designated "toilet spoon" that is conveniently stored with the toilet scrubbers in the bathroom. So lovely. And let it be known that raisins, army men and some choice board game pieces will float....but soggy pieces of pizza, marbles, race cars and Monopoly pieces definitely do not. Plastic spoons float.....the real kinds don't. And in fact...the real kinds actually fall down into the flush hole so that it makes for some true deep water mining experiences. And if one throws enough new rolls of toilet paper in there they have the amazing ability to suck up ALL of the water within the toilet.

Along those same plumbing lines...that whole little replacing the pipe below the sink thing...yep, it gave me the courage to conquer yet more bathroom projects. I have now successfully plunged 3 toilets, 2 sinks and 1 bathtub and a shower. And let it be known that if everyone just used a plunger on their bathroom problems Drano would go bankrupt by week's end. Plunging is quite the safe, non toxic, dirt cheap, non life threatening way to solve all of your bathroom problems that you currently have or might ever have. I have become so entirely proficient at plunging that I have begun to apply it to other areas of my life as well. When the little bulb sucker just won't work on congested children all it takes is a good plunge or two and they'll be clear for weeks. Constipated kids?....yep, works on them too. Neighbor dogs that won't shut up at night?....just suck their face right up and they're cured. Deer dents in the side of vehicles?.....just plunge them right out. Cat stuck in between the washing machine and wall?....just sucks em right up. I even took to plunging the sink pipe embedded in the wall since nothing else seems to unclog it. I still have to put it back together to figure out if it worked on that one....but given my success with it in every other area I am quite certain desired results have been achieved there as well.

Quite thrilled with my new level of bathroom skills I began to look for things in the bathroom that needed fixing. One of the most noticeable was a need for new seats for the toilets. I think I've pretty much scrubbed the finish off the ones we had so on our date night Brad and I went to Lowe's and picked up some new toilet seats. Romantic, huh??? With Daddy having come in this past weekend, Mother coming in 2 weeks and then out of town friends coming the week after I figured we'd do them all a favor and at least replace commode seats. It wouldn't have been quite the issue if one wasn't apt to being jet propelled off of the broken seat and dumped ever so gracefully onto the floor at lightening force speeds. So I figure all of life is school and a teaching experience waiting to happen so as I went to work on the seat I quickly called in the child that happened to be nearest at the moment. Poor Evye was pretty much convinced that she was at the wrong place at the wrong time....but I figure females obviously need to know how to do this crap too so she might as well learn early. So, off to work she went installing her 1st toilet seat ever...which I'm sure will only be the first of many in her lifetime....cause I don't plan on changing many more of them.

Next up.....replacing all of the pipes under all sinks and probably knocking out a shower wall or two and replacing those pipes as well. Then I think I'm going to get Brad to blowtorch us in some Vortex from floor to ceiling so that the entire bathroom will be waterproofed. But in order to just hose a kid down in the middle of a waterproofed bathroom there needs to be some drainage going on so tomorrow I may take an axe to the floor and create drainage. We seem to be in need of it anyway due to little kids preferring more bath water on the floor than in the actual tub they occupy. The axe thing is sounding a bit therapeutic so I'm thinking that'll take priority tomorrow. And seeing as how every towel rack, bar and handle along with every toilet paper roll holder has either been ripped out of the wall by trapeze loving children or disassembled by tinkering little boys.....or tinkering BIG boys that have grand plans for bathrooms but never quite manage to see their dream to completion .....I think I'll just go hammer me in some racks, bars and holders while I'm at it.

Yes.....I think I'm becoming quite the home repair man between my experience in plumbing, handymanning and remodeling.

For the Glory of It All

Year's end. Cold quiet as husband breathes rhythmically beside me. House silent for the night. I ponder once more all of life....what it is, where we have come from, where it is we are going, what we have overcome in the last 365 days of our life...what the next 365 may hold. For unknown reasons to me I once again fight off sadness, the disappointment of the should've been's....the what would've been's. Weighted heart sinks low, deep sigh in and out. Still I would not trade it but still I wish it were all different. Why, when this is all over and all of life is beginning anew, do I still feel it all....do I still linger in the grief? Honest question posed in soft voice to sleepy husband minutes before slumber comes stealing him away, "Why do I do this? What is it that makes me feel like this and how do I change it all...make myself feel differently? Why, when a new year is beginning, do I feel all the loss of the last?" No closer to an answer for me than he has been in the last six months sleepy husband mutters something about how he has no answers and was, just as quickly, sleeping peacefully. My ever active, analytical mind continued on despite his mental absence from the short lived conversation. Like a slideshow the past year floated through my mind. And once again tears welled..spilled down cheeks until the now familiar river flowed. And I came to the conclusion once more that life just hurts. My new motto plays back through my head..."In the pain I grow". The anger lives on to some degree for reasons I cannot explain. I'm happy with not being pregnant. I can run and I finally feel normal again. So why it still fuels an angrily burning fire when I hear of other's pregnancies or they speak of it is still quite the mystery to my own self. Why the all consuming ache when I hear of other's successful adoptions? Why do I think of heat or feel heat and associate it with violation of summer night? Why do I feel the loss of relationship when I continue to go back only to have the same end result? Why do I grieve when God has done so very much and blessed us with meaningful relationships and people that have become family to us? Deep life altering events...all of them...playing out like charades over the past year.

So I lie there. Tears flow from under closed eyes. No longer filled with the wonder of the why's I finally see that the passing days have brought about a contentedness to just accept life for what it is. I know why..or at least in some microscopic portion can envision the why of it all....plans God has for us and the shaping this has brought about in our life. Passion, fury, joy, rage, blessed, grief, peace, pain, friendship, anguish, comfort...all emotions that have been experienced to such greater depths...that allowed me to discover how alive I really am. Emotions that awaken the soul so that I may be brought to a place in which I can fully identify with Who it is I serve and how I am to serve, where I am to serve. In the learning, the training, the living, we suffer so that we may live for the glory of it all.

Dim red numbers read 12:01 am. Raw emotion washes away the disappointment, the pain, the hurt, the anger, of the last year as the new year is ushered in. I welcome it in total and utter humility, a much different person than I was 365 days ago. Quiet sober joy comes strangely crawling in as I embrace newness through tears...despite my tears. Focus gently shifts to what lay ahead. Momentarily my fearful heart wonders just how long the sadness will last...how much more loss there is to endure before we reach the end. Controlling heart holds tight to my beloved life...my husband who sees beyond everything that I am and continues to love me unconditionally for all that I am and my 8 amazing children that bless me with their love and their behaviour, their budding friendships as they mature....and I wonder how I would live without any of them. Today is fleeting and tomorrow is never promised to me. I wonder what the future holds. Once again I am reminded that I am only given the grace for what I live today and I have been saturated with mercy and grace over the last year of my life. And I learn to lay it all down...again. Staring into darkness I focus on the sober joy that lies within....joy wrapped in lingering ache. Slowly, adventurous heart cannot help but feel excitement over the unknown....slow beat of sadness giving in to the faster pace of unlived adventures...lands unseen, places untraveled, people already in our lives dearly loved and held close, people we still have yet to meet that will fill our lives to even greater depths, experiences of all of life.

Tears subside. I stare at purple moonlit walls. I want to be a better person for all of this. I will be a better person for all of this. I am a soldier in training...increasing my strength and endurance for what lies ahead.....for this journey I am on, it is not for the weak of heart. And in the morning I will run...I will push through because I know in the pushing through that I become everything I want to be, everything I never was that I am now, everything I will become. There is a strength in me that I never knew existed. God has awakened the sleeping giant within my own soul and through me He has the ability to move mountains and accomplish things in places where others will not dare tread because they have not enough strength or endurance to carry out what He requires of His chosen.

Oh Lord God, use me, break me, shape me, mold me. Make me your's. Oh God make me one with you! My heart cries to you and it sings a new song. A song of grief, a song of hope. A song that only you understand. You've redeemed me. I have done so much. I have failed so miserably. You have rescued me in all of my misery...in all of my failure. My heart longs for you more than I can ever convey. I need you. I want you. I want to be everything that you have created me to be...all of the potential.....fulfill it Lord, bring it to fruition. Create an awareness in me for you....bring me to a place where I can no longer stand within your presence. You are God and I praise you. You are the creator of life and I worship you. You are my everything. I have no need of anything else because I have you. Break me. Use me. I am here. Do you hear me? I surrender all to you. It is your's...all your's God. You have my heart. You have my devotion. I am your's. You reign. Forever your kingdom reigns. You give and you take away. I fall to my knees and I say that you are the king of heaven and earth....the king of the people and you will come back for the ones who love you...who have chosen to acknowledge you in all of their ways. You are God and you do love me. You have not abandoned or forsaken me in any way. You have made your way known to me. You have loved me enough to refine me. Do you hear me???? I am your's. I am all your's. I surrender all.

I feel you now. I feel your presence. I feel your peace. I feel your comfort. You are here and you do hear me. You are God and I praise you. You are God and you come and wrap me within your presence. Your Spirit is here and it is all consuming. You are God of everything yet you come to me...you hear me...you pay heed to me...you notice me yet I am not worthy of notice. I feel you now. You presence is like a blanket. You are here touching me. I cannot deny you God. I cannot deny who you are....cannot deny your Spirit...cannot deny your presence. You are here and I feel you. God you are good. So very good to me. I feel you now.

"I need words as wide as sky. I need language as large as this longing inside. I need a voice bigger than mine and I need a song to sing you that I've yet to find. I need you. I need you to be here now. I need you to hear me now."


After night comes the dawn. Dawn is here. It's a new day. Everything will change, things will never be the same.

I will never be the same.
I will live for the glory of it all.
Beginning.....again. For you. For the glory of it all.


In quotes: lyrics of I Need Words and For the Glory of It All by David Crowder Band

Thoughts of a Fire Wife

http://www.gosanangelo.com/videos/detail/fire-w-17th-street

Night before Christmas Eve, promptings of the inner spirit, timely call put into firefighting husband, blaring tones and deep voices fill background of answered phone. Beloved familiar voice stating, "Gotta go. Caught a fire." With "I love you's" exchanged the call ends as quickly as it began. With most of these calls ending in false alarms I think nothing of it. This falls entirely short of being the most combustible city in the US so no more thought was given to it. Life and routine carried on as dinner was prepared, children bathed and eventually put to bed. Realization occurred that it had been hours upon hours since phone call had ended. I fought off concern for the next while and eventually caved in my longing to check on him. Another call was made. Cold darkness had long since settled over our world and gentle freezing rain began to grace the earth with ice. Sounds of massive diesel trucks running....pumping, many male voices beyond, commotion, noise filled phone as husband spoke loudly to be overheard above the activity. "Big fire, cold rain, be awhile" was all I managed to catch. Children still excitedly awake in bed I made my way back to them. With gentle smiles and soft voices 8 smaller sets of hands and 8 bowed heads each prayed for the safety of their daddy and all of the beloved fire crew. The children are dearly loved by all of the guys that work with Brad and in turn our merry little crew is endeared to each of the guys. With childlike faith each prayed and each knew beyond all of life that they were indeed heard by our God, the God who protects and makes everything work together for good. With sweet prayers finished excited chatter filled the room as they talked of fire trucks, fire and what they imagined to be happening.

Heaviness settled upon me as I thought of raging infernos, loss of life, bitter cold, icy rain and all fire husband was enduring while I stood cleaning warm home with candles burning, cats purring and coffee steaming. Mother arrived, sweet friendship, momentary diversion created. More long hours passed before phone finally rang. Babysitting fire, investigating, 2 dead, probably be out there all night, best for me to head onto bed, he'd be home late in the morning. Eventually house fell silent for the night. Buried beneath warm blankets, thick socks covering icy cold feet, hair unleashed onto pillow I prayed my way to sleep. Obsessive thoughts filled my head of husband standing in cold rain, wee early morning hours, feet numb, soaked to skin, weighted, rain soaked bunkergear. So I prayed for continued protection, patience, strength and endurance for him, and every other thing the wife of any firefighter knows.

Admittedly, these days do not come often but when they do my heart still seems to stop beating until he is home again. The ability to breathe seems to evade me at times when I know he is out there and the job is intense. The wrecks he works, the cars that fail to slow, the people that drive and pay these guys no heed as they work next to moving traffic, fueled cars burning on sides of highways, structure fires so intense that firefighters are pulled back as roofs collapse, lives are lost. It happens and he does it all. I know that I am not ever guaranteed another day with him. So I embrace life for what it is today....the present, the moment we live within. And I am thankful for every morning that he returns home to me, pulls me to him and tells me he loves me still.

Breaking Society's Mold

Some say this is a midlife crisis while others have contended that it is merely being on the rebound after such huge emotional trauma while yet others are quite adamant that it is all out immaturity and wanting to rebel against the stereotypical mold that goes along with mothering many children and doing the whole homeschooling, make absolutely everything from scratch, sew your children's clothes, cloth diapering, homemade wetwiping crap. Maybe there is some truth to some of it....maybe alot of truth to all of it. In all honesty, I'm not sure what it is and I really don't even care. I'm of the opinion that it was just plain fun and it was just time to do something lighthearted and out of the ordinary...cause it's just been too long. Shock value seems to be what I thrive off of most in life. And what joy is there in life if it is ever mundane, ever the same, and ever what people expect of you???? How boring life would be to sit around sipping coffee and eating bon bons all day allowing my butt to grow wider by the cookie as my children sit nearby studiously carrying out their assignments. It just isn't reality....probably...hopefully...never will be. I am not that perfect one. My children dig in all kinds of crap and do things that children just do. They drink from the syrup bottle, paint with nail polish, eat grape jelly from the jar, color on the walls with permanent markers, eat Nesquik by the spoonfuls, unroll entire rolls of toilet paper, dump large amounts of unknown items into toilets, put bb's in their ears and gum up their noses, squeeze entire tubes of toothpaste onto cabinets for the thrill of watching it "wiggle" as it flies out. They jump on beds, jump on couches, jump from the windowsills, jump on just about anything, take flying leaps from top bunks to wooden floors, place toys on fans to watch them fly, spray engine starter on the seats of vans, have Cheerio spitting contests, pee in flowerbeds, throw crap onto the roof, use kitchen utensils to dig ditches for tiny tractors and dump trucks and just, in general....live. This is not to say by any stretch of the imagination that these actions go undisciplined or that they are allowed to continue on with them but the point....they do it all. My life is a constant effort of raising, teaching, molding, instructing many little lives. This is a season and I know it more now than I ever have as I have bittersweetly watched my older ones grow much too swiftly. So, I embrace these days of messes and noisy chatter, funny antics and crazily funny things that come from the mouths of children.

Life is not perfect, my children are not perfect and I am at the bottom of the barrel as far as perfection goes. So perhaps this is just an effort to ditch the image that goes with large families and embrace reality. If there is any one comment that I hate the most it's the "you must be a saint!" one. My usual reply, "I am more real and more fallible than you can ever imagine but my children are 8 of my greatest blessings and I thoroughly enjoy them." I hate that people think they cannot do this. I hate that the world views children as such a bother..a disturbance...an absolute drudgery in life.

It all boils down to.....whatever it may be within me that propelled me to do this is not really of any great importance. It was a dare and I have never been one to be challenged without following through. Dear beloved friend and mom to 11 and I were speaking in one of our many phone conversations. Up came the debate of nose piercings and before conversation had ended the dare was on. If I went through with it she would follow suit....or better yet, we'd both set a date. With enough spunk, love of shock value and off-the-wall humor in both of us we both knew the other would indeed fulfill her end of the bargain. So it was that the challenge was on...would we do it? Once I threw the idea out to some to get a general idea of how it would be received and the shocked and appalling comments began I could feel the challenge rising within to prove the world wrong. Who dictates that a 34 year old woman is too old to do such nonsense and who in the crap said it is inappropriate for a mom of 8....or 11.....to do something so odd? Who exactly baked the mold and presumptuously decided what cookie cutter shape I should be forced into???

So...as I do all things in life, I began to educate myself on what I was doing and research every last piece of info I could come up with on nose piercing before committing myself to it. Was it a practice born out of rebellion? What is the history of it all? Why do almost all Hindu women have their nose pierced? What exactly is the point of nose piercing other than to just look good, have some fun and give in to one of husband's greatest desires? As I researched I found that it was not tied to undesirable spiritual rituals and practices but that it surprisingly has Biblical origins and was placed upon women to symbolize the blessings spoken over them concerning their fertility and childbearing years. It is now associated by the world with Hindu and most Arabic religions as their religious beliefs are similar to some of the old testament practices. I also found that women in Israel still practice nose piercing. It was placed on the left side since old medicine associated the left side of a woman's body with fertility. Dear friend also found that Biblically they placed it within the bondservant's nose to identify them. As we talked and discussed our findings we both knew that both of these Biblical practices had great meaning for each of us. Somewhere in the midst of it all it turned from daring joke to being weighted with Spiritual significance and meaning for each of us. So....it was on.

Never mind Aubrey's Farrah Fawcett hair, as she had jumped on the trampoline all day. And she didn't get her 2 front teeth for Christmas.

Entire family found our way to Fort Worth once more for a Saturday of fun and fellowship with dear friends. With younger children deposited at mother's for a day of food and fun older children, Brad and I made our way to a day of jui jitsu tournaments as Brad's best friend competed. Once full day of fighting was over older children were deposited with younger ones and a date night of food and nose piercing began. Admittedly, I didn't fare so well once piercing moment settled upon us. Despite the fact belly button has been pierced for many years and that was easily endured at the time of piercing as nose time approached feelings of uncertainty arose. Puking, passing out and turning around and marching right back out were a few of the many thoughts that floated not so passively through the brain while filling out paperwork. I think the whole puking thing had to be the most prevalent urge. But I figure if I can deliver more than a few children with no pain meds then surely I can survive a few seconds worth of nasal pain. Quitting is nowhere within me and there was no way dear sweet friend was following through and I was not. So it was that I was taken back, laid down on a table..thankfully...and with dear friends and husband watching this little scenario nose ring was officially given. As I tend to do all things pain related I had made it out to be much worse than it really was and with quick, nasal, bee sting pain inflicted it was all over in a second...or two...or really more like three.

Now with both belly and nose pierced I am feeling quite exotic. Though I must admit that after 8 children the whole stomach thing is not really worthy of any such adornment...more than a bit beyond redemption....but at least I try to redeem it. Sweet husband still so desperately in love with me and absolutely everything about me seems oblivious..or at least pretends to be oblivious....to the fact it is far from perfection. He seems to be in love with and filled with respect for the woman and the body that birthed his 8 children. What freedom there is in being loved...for being embraced so wholly....for who I am as a person in every way.

Embracing the Edge

Once again I wake to the darkness. Early morning hours still new to this body of mine. Cold house dark and quiet, smell of coffee finding its way to me as I burrow beneath blankets in my last attempts at protest over rising. Husband's belt jingles softly as he dresses, keys rattle as he stuffs them into pocket, darkness outside window turning to early gray winter day. I lay quiet trying to bring thoughts into some semblance of order in the fogginess of sleep that still remains. He comes to my side, lips brush across forehead as big, warm, calloused hands slip under covers and find me. Soft deep voice whispers, "I love you." Heart of mine still skips a beat at the sound of him, eyes open and I smile, "I love you too." With lips still pressed against head he murmurs, "I shouldn't be too late." I pause my sinking heart, thankful for the work he has. We knew this...we knew it would be like this if we became business owners so I focus on being overwhelmingly grateful for the work he has....for how God is providing over and above everything we have ever known. Instantly he senses my faltering heart. Pressing in even firmer he smiles and says...."I promise." There is much still lingering on my to-do's....things entirely hard to accomplish with him home...so I busy myself with making a mental checklist. As heavy boots attempt to fall quietly down old creaky wooden hallway my thoughts turn to yesterday's events. Backdoor voices protest to being awakened from its overnight dormancy and then clicks quietly into place. I work on facing my fears for another day without him present. Bare feet find cold floor and I force my body into submission as I slip into running gear. Rumble of diesel truck pulling onto dirt road confirms that he is gone. My overly analytical brain turns to trying to make sense out of all of life. There is more....so much more....that we are being called to in this life. I can feel it....I catch glimpses of it at odd moments throughout my day. I am no longer content to just sit in the comfort of the present. I don't want to be that apathetic Christian that just lives quietly in this quiet corner of the world. Maybe it's a midlife crisis. Maybe it's breaking free from the chains of the last half year of our life. Maybe its that I've found throughout all of this that there's just so much more.....that we have not come through all of this for nothing. That this trial by fire is producing something so much greater and bigger than even I can imagine. There is more. I want to be that one out there on the edge. I don't want to be the one that gets stuck in comfort. I see people with so much less than what we have needing hope. 

Rising sun offers no warmth, cold wind hits face and feet find a steady rhythm. My mind finds comfort in the bitter cold, trepidatious heart embracing the solace of quiet winter morning, rocks crunching under foot. Thoughts of life turn to the phone call we received early this week. Seems hospital social worker was required to make a phone call concerning Ivye's ER visit. It was enough to seize the heart and send any given person into panic mode. Constant, steady husband was not nearly of the same opinion and assured my racing heart that all is well. It all seemed to fit right in with the last few months of crap we have been forced to overcome. I was informed that they were reviewing the case and found that it was an injury occurring within the home with only one adult present. Stark ill humored woman asked how many children are within the home, how many have been seen in the ER over the course of the last year, if baby was unattended when the accident occurred, if she has ever been a victim of child abuse/neglect or if she is at the present moment. I thought the tactic of just blatantly asking was a bit odd but....whatever. My mind immediately began procuring images of awfulness of what assumptions she had reached due to my answers. Any kind of eloquence in verbal communication seems to be ever elusive for this tongue of mine. I say things I shouldn't say, fail to voice things that need to be said and inevitably fail pretty miserably in communicating on any given day....quiet, introvert of childhood lingering long into adulthood. So, I run, mind racing even faster, pondering what hospital-woman had assessed given my seemingly inadequate answers. Once again I pour over every last bit of the conversation. 1st half of process and if they saw further need they would begin the 2nd half of phone interviews. Where from there? We never reached that part and I never thought to ask. Fear of state people ringing doorbell float through the head. 

Throughout the last few months I have found that my emotions are volatile and very much at the mercy of any given situation. Outside factors highly influence any sort of inner feelings. So it was that the more she questioned the more irritated I became. I found my patience waning with this nosy, uncaring woman. After being questioned for the thousandth time as to whether she was a victim of our abuse and how the injury occurred I finally stated not so entirely kindly that she was indeed the victim of our waffle syrup bottle that she herself pulled out onto her own toe. Apparently this seems far fetched to most any person so it has the ability to go unbelieved....but I do know that if I was trying to cover anything up I certainly could come up with more convincing stories that have absolutely nothing to do with waffle syrup. We learn later that it was merely hospital protocol to have a hospital social worker follow up any pediatric injury within the home. Nothing ever came of the phone call.

Legs push forward, heart now pumping forcefully and I take comfort in the returning strength of my own body and the force I feel within my legs to power me forward when all of life seems continually upside down. My mind returns to gravel beneath feet and the worries of life are handed over once again to my God who is greater than all of life....who has healed me and made me whole and given me the ability to run and be free.....the confidence to know so deeply within that I no longer have to fear anything...for He is my strength and the rock from which my help comes. I do not fear a hospital social worker. We are not walking this road for nothing at all to come of our life. How can one be expected to live on the edge when you have never learned? I am being taught that I am so much stronger than even I ever imagined. That because I do have the one and only God on earth paving the road we traverse that we are held within His hand and nothing can touch us.....not one of our own children being raped and beaten, not one of our babies being called home before his first breath was ever taken, not a 4 month miscarriage that ended in hemorrhaging and not the the worry of a hospital social worker reviewing an injury and if our children are in imminent danger at the hands of us. I no longer feel defeated or am overwhelmed by this turn of events. At one point shortly after the phone call was received self pity was hard to keep at bay. Immediate thoughts of "why????" and "what now?????" threatened to overtake all of life. Thoughts turned from self pity to the fact this only goes along with everything else we have had to fight off the last half year of our life. But as I began to lay it all down I finally began to see the supernatural strength that is being built within both husband and I. Unwavering husband has no fear of any of this, he knows well protocol hospital is required to follow, which is used to give my own heart strength and peace of mind. 

My body finds comfort in the pain and the growing strength both mentally and physically. I have learned to welcome the pain because in the pain I grow. Body falls into submission as I run and is transformed before my eyes. Mind falls into submission as we continue to trek down this arduous road and is transformed as I learn to think differently and embrace the change....discover who it is I really am, who I am becoming. There are things I know about myself now that have never been developed in my entire 34 years of life. Things that have always been there but just have to be grown and developed. The absolute determination, stubbornness, diligence, passion....it's all there for a very definite purpose. Whatever that purpose is I have yet to discover but I know there is one...there has to be a purpose. Living on this edge....learning to embrace it. I want to be that one that is completely and totally ruined for the ordinary.

Within the Walls of our Home

So I found this on another blog months ago and thought it seemed entirely interesting and a bit fun. I never cease to be intrigued by other people's lives, how they live, where they live and what it all really looks like....the reality of just daily living. So here is a glimpse into our own home where all of the living really takes place. To give a general idea it's 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms...with one of those being the original bathroom built in 1930. It is so entirely small that one can actually hang one's feet in the bathtub while using the toilet. And the sink counter actually has a cutout for the door to swing open so that all 3 bathroom necessities fit within the 2 sq ft. So...there's not really any picture taking that can go on in there. But it is usable and has made a great girls' bathroom. At the current moment it is a little out of order due to my growing impatience as I waited for Brad to fix the sink. So....as I am so entirely good at listening and following directions given to me I did exactly what he told me not to do and tried to fix it myself. I must say though that this was after nearly 4 entire months of waiting for him to fix it. So, I drove all of us to the hardware store, found the piece we needed and attempted to take off the u-pipe under the sink and replace it with a new one....along with the pipe that feeds into the wall. It is safe to say that that was by far the nastiest, most disgusting, stinkiest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I did manage to get it off, try to fix the clogged part and then put the new one on. Needless to say.....it's still clogged and now it leaks on top of it all. There's something to be said for listening to your husband and actually heeding what he says. But even after 11 years of marriage I still have a hard time with that. So, the little 3rd bathroom is a bit out of commission right now. But at least I can say I tried.

It's somewhere around 1,900 sq ft or so....a little less I think. But it works very well, is not alot to keep up and we are truly blessed by this little place sitting on 3 acres of land. At some point I'll find the pictures of the outside and post those as well.

The girls' room.....where only Ivye sleeps at the current moment. The plan is to someday paint it all pink but it never seems to happen. As for the gate on the top bunk.....it really serves no purpose at all except for giving the children something to fall through instead of just falling straight to the ground....a little more fun that way, of course.

The main bunk room...black bed top bunk is Grayson's, camo sheeted lower bunk is Garrison and Grant's, single bed complete with child to model it is Aubrey's, red top bunk is Evye's, red lower bunk is Garrett's and Gavin's. And that strip of carpet is the only carpet anywhere within the house. By looking at it you'll understand why we chose all hard floors. Carpet doesn't stand a chance in our home. And for the record....the turquoise walls drive me nuts....but obviously not enough to paint them anytime soon...seeing as how they've been that color for 3 1/2 years.

Our VERY purple bedroom. Once again....the plan is to paint.....someday. I think I have become endeared to our wall decor the most. In the last 3 1/2 years of living here we have spent the majority of our time hanging wall decor, as is so entirely evident. Personally I love the visible box springs. But we tried a dust ruffle and it was exactly that...a DUST ruffle. It's only purpose served to collect dust and act as a magnet for dirty, muddy shoe prints as children used it to scale up the side of the bed. So....as everything else tends to do around here in my minimalistic idea of life....it got tossed.

The other half of the bedroom behind them. Bathroom to the right, closet to the left.



Our dining room...still awaiting the big table. We keep putting it off simply because I love the simplicity of this little tiny one. There are other chairs to it....somewhere. And the lovely little table cloth was sprayed and wiped down with bleach oneday. But hey....it's clean. And as for the bookshelf...well, those boxes stacked neatly beneath it are the boxes of tile still waiting to adorn the top of it. But after having bought the tile I then discovered how very much I hate tile countertops and the bacteria infested crevices so changed my mind to doing it in Formica...you know, the cheap granite substitute. But, as you can see, that hasn't exactly happened yet either.






The living area....complete with duct taped window.

Looking from the kitchen to the living area

Kitchen....yep, there's dishes......there's pretty much never not dishes but since I no longer do them as long as there's just a few in there I'm completely ok with that. And the floor needs to be mopped so I suggest you don't enlarge this picture. But you get the general idea. And well...as far as all of the crap on top of the frig....egg cartons for the 50 million eggs coming in each day and a huge container of homemade hot chocolate that must stay up there so we don't have eager little boys eating it by the spoonfuls, and then cereal that is up there to avoid being emptied all over the floor due to being pulled out of the drawer by a little 13 month old girl. There's also some 13x9 in foil pans that are still around after vacation in Sept. Lovely. But in general...despite what the top of the frig looks like....we really are pretty uncluttered.


The boys' bathroom...yet another room on the overhaul list...someday. And the children had to fold clothes before I could take pics of the living area so in the mirror is clearly visible the clothes folding process. And that white stuff on the front of the black cabinets....yep, it's toothpaste.

The workroom of the house...yet again, we will someday paint. This room will be the neon one of the house. I figure if you have to do wash you might as well have fun while you're doing it so color is a necessity....more specifically bright, bold alarming colors.

As promised long ago....here are finally some pictures of the everybody closet. And I can honestly say it looks like this 99% of the time. It is so well organized that it rarely becomes messy. Little ones have everything needed within reach and it is easy enough for them to participate in maintaining the organization aspect. For the very many of you that have asked as to how we have organized it all, here it all is as grouped.

Baskets on floor from left to right: Grayson's shoe basket, the girls' shoe basket, the little boys' shoe basket and then square blue dirty clothes basket that is emptied at the end of each day.

Bottom shelf from left to right: Grayson's jean basket, girls' jeans and skirt basket, little boys' jean basket, little boys' shorts basket.

2nd shelf up: my pants, my shirts, Brad's jeans and then Brad's jeans again.

3rd shelf up left to right: bed sheets, little boys' pajamas and underwear, little boys' nice boots, baby blankets and sheets.

4th shelf up from left to right: arts and crafts hairbow making stuff, more bed sheets, misc catch all, and then ammo.

Top shelf: sleeping bags and extra blankets.

Right side of hanging: my clothes and all girls' clothes

Left side of lower hanging: Brad's shirt, Grayson's shirts and little boys' overalls

Left side upper hanging: little boys' shirt

As for the plastic see through drawers

1st set of drawers: Ivye's stuff - hairbows, socks, pj's and stuff

2nd set of drawers: top Evye's gowns and personal clothing

middle - Aubrey's gowns and personal clothing

lower - all girls' socks

3rd set of drawers: top - Grayson's underclothing and sleep pants

middle - Grayson's shorts and swimsuits

lower - all boys' socks