Selling Out - From the Archives

After mentioning this post in the previous one I figured it'd be fun to look it up and find exactly what date it was written. I wasn't too far off in stating a mere year ago I went through this same little tantrum of having accumulated way too much. It was written May 19th, 2010....almost 13 months ago to the day of my previous "Crap Quota" post. After rereading and laughing at how much has not changed I read excerpts aloud to endearing husband. He, on the contrary, was quite appalled that I would so publicly bash him, as he does not read this blog...claiming it boasts way too many words for his ADD self. But....given the fact only five minutes before I read this to him he was throwing a fit over a lost flip flop mate only further proved the point and made it all the funnier. But, to his credit, he has greatly improved in the last 13 months and at least begun picking up his clothes....pretty much.


And...I must make a retraction on the twins note. I stated that we would never in our life have another set of twins....and 13 months later we have almost 8 month old.....twins. So, as I was greatly expanding in my whale like state, which I so fondly addressed, I was carrying TWO babies while giving away 90% of every duplicate thing we owned.


So, loving retraction has been made of both husband bashing statements and twin statement. It certainly does not detract from the humor....though husband is debating that fact right about now. But, I love you, babe, and you know it....so I continue to find your lost flip flop for you.

Written May 19, 2010

I have come to the definite decision....people rarely need all of the crap they possess in life. And most of American society just has too much crap. And I'm really really sick of picking it all up and staying on kids to pick it all up. So, I decided today that we're selling out....or really rather, just trashing out. All in everyone's best interest, of course. We have too. much. shit. And yes, this is a G rated blog...mostly.....and oh yeah....I said it. And it felt good. Maybe it's the nesting instinct kicking in some 30 wks too soon or maybe it's just fact. I'm leaning more towards the latter. 10 people in 2 square feet equal a lot of sheer claustrophobia....then imagine that with one choice member metamorphosing into a whale a little more each day and it just gets kinda cramped. Magnify that times each person owning just merely 2 things along with their bodily self just occupying space. That's already 20 items of crap accumulated. Now try doing the math when each person owns up to as many as 40 unneeded items or heaven forbid...80. Once you go down that road you start to get a pretty clear picture of what our house tends to look like on any given day. And it's enough to make even the most sane person go out of their mind. Add the already insane tendencies of my OCD self and you have disaster looming.



So, I have calmly reached the conclusion that we are selling everything. The couches are going. The beds are going. And I am not so entirely opposed to throwing in the kitchen sink and both tubs. Since the tubs serve no purpose anyway at the current moment due to crumbling tile I figure we haven't lost much except more crap to clean. Every dish we ever thought about having that just keeps ending up in the trash due to little brains not being able to really figure out what's trash and what exactly is not...yep, we really have no need for a kitchen sink since we have no forks, spoons or knives....or even bowls for that matter. And of the ones we do possess one has to go dig 3 inches deep in dirt to find yesterday's "shovels" so that one can accomplish the simple task of actually eating. I have concluded that I am now single handedly parenting and keeping house. And so it is up to me to tell each person twenty freakin five times to do what they already know to do so I will just lessen my stress level in life and sell it all....or more easily just trash it all. I see nothing in the world wrong with dripping dry after a shower....which eliminates any and all need for the luxury of towels. Socks...who really needs them? Cheap flip flops for 2 bucks a pair now will possess the ability to get anyone through the summer. And of those that cannot be found because they've been kicked under couches due to sheer laziness or overlooked in cleanup....those dear ones can just go barefooted. But oh wait....we won't have couches for them to be kicked under. Aw yes...this is undoubtedly looking even better as time elapses. No couches so they can no longer eat on them and watch it belch up petrified hot dogs, wienies and year old fruit loops at the most inopportune times. And how the year old ones still thrive underneath cushions despite the fact one vacuumed only 3 days ago in that very spot still eludes me.....but they do. No clothes either. We're all going au naturale as God intended. We'll live by lanterns and whale oil and cook on the gas grill every meal. Grayson is becoming quite the pro at grilling and we've already managed to grill scrambled eggs, sausage, pizza, chicken, bacon and every other imaginable thing. It you can oven or stove cook it we've pretty much surmised that you can grill it. We've set just about every one of those things on fire too but it only took twice for us to figure out that what usually takes 10 entire minutes to grill can be fired to perfection in a mere 30 seconds. So, that eliminates any and all kitchen and stove/oven cleanup.



And I took it upon myself to make everyone absolutely miserable and do a home overhaul this week. We have cleaned. We will clean. And we will continue to clean. And the new motto is that there will be nothing left by the end of it. Toss it, donate it, or just plain burn it. Those are everyone's options. Keeping is no longer an option. And since ever reliant husband depends on clean freak wife to put up absolutely everything he ever thought about wearing, has worn or will wear in the near future I have decided to donate whatever he sees fit to leave lying on the floor....because obviously he can't quite go naked like the rest of us since he actually has a job. But since the clothes laying strewn out all over the floor for 3 days on end never see fit to get picked up I have now deduced they have no value at all so therefore are free for donation. Same with all flip flops, tennis shoes and boots that seem to lie in the floor and then get cussed out every time their mate disappears. I am quite sure this plan will lessen the amount of stress he endures due to lost shoe mates...as shoes that seem to miraculously disappear into oblivion will no longer exist.

Beds will go as we all take to sleeping in completely washable sleeping bags that no longer need expensive waterproof mattress pads to protect them from all liquidy substances that seem to regularly come into horrific contact with it all. Their childhood will be one of profound endearing memories as they remember camping out every night in their sleeping bags on bedroom floors dimply lit by the oil filled lanterns.



So today we started implementing this new concept and began with chunking every toy we had. They kept die cast cars since they seem to be the only thing that actually get attention for more than 5 mere seconds. The others seem to be laughingly dumped out into heaping piles, thrown from one end of the house to the other and then everyone sees fit to amazingly disappear and move to other destructive tasks leaving a wake in their path. Sooo....all those little annoying throwable toys....yep, we have balls for that purpose so they saw fit to get thrown right into the trash today. Every puzzle piece that has never in a lifetime seen its board...and all of those that have....and every game that has ever in a lifetime longed for the rest of its pieces....and all of those that haven't ever had that problem.....they met their demise this afternoon too.



And all that crap up in the attic....who needs it??? It's freakin up in the ATTIC...which means you haven't seen it in decades. So...yep...it went. All that Christmas crap...who exactly needs 15 nativities sitting around with no less than 20 crew and cast members missing limbs, legs, noses, crowns, gifts and heads? Cows with no horns on a good day...no legs and tail on the bad ones...a headless or 5 Mary. Joseph that only ever managed to carry a cane for all of about 2 hrs in this house. The standing donkey that has been precariously balancing on it's stomach for 5 yrs due to total amputation of all 4 legs. The wingless angels....hosts of them. The 2, 3 and 4 sided stars...no less than 14 of those of the 15 total nativities we have going. And who needs to really decorate a tree when you have an army for a demolition crew walking daily through your home? And seeing as how we'll never in a lifetime have twins again every double thing we ever had.....yep....it went too. It's just more crap occupying space...both brain and atomic space alike. Every broken picture frame still waiting to be glued, every project stuck into a tote waiting to be finished, every large and small item that at some point had a purpose seems to no longer possess one....seeing as how it's all been shoved up in the attic for who knows how exactly long. So, I began to clean. And the more I chunked down the ladder the better I felt. So, one toss turned into a few more which then just led to excitingly chunking stuff down by the crates. In fact, the only real things I saw fit to keep in the deal were the books....boxes and boxes of them. I do love books. They stack nice and neatly and make rather impressive, organized stacks...each labeled by author and subtitled with book titles that lay within.


Now on to the clothes issue. All seasons, all outgrown...taking over the attic as I tend to get overwhelmed by the clothes issue and just not deal with it at all. I've given serious thought about donating absolutely every baby item we have and starting over...especially in the clothes category....but my ever frugal self cannot just throw away good crap that we will eventually need to clothe kids with. So, I will try to wrap my brain around it all and bring the clothes into some semblance of order. Once I have managed to gain control of that area I will have successfully reigned in every area of our lives. Sentimental crap....it exists no more. What exactly is the point of keeping cards from when you were 5? So once again the children were made to pair down their cubbies. Everything that is personally their's that they want to keep has to once again fit inside and not spill over onto the floor and nearby shelves. If they don't want little hands grabbing and breaking and ripping crap up then it must fit...like it originally did, I might add.....back into the cubby....out of reach of little hands. Everything else....cards, letters, shot up target sheets from a year ago, little teddy bears and sentimental pens and pencils (and how on earth anybody manages to make a pen or pencil sentimental is beyond me but somehow Evye seems to do it)....had to go. If it didn't fit in an organized fashion it didn't get the privilege of hanging around.


And I must say that the more they saw me toss and chunk the more fun it all became. So, then we all started a chunking party. Even my own woeful journals of childhood and teenage years...all filled with tragic heartbreak and the continual rejection of men all got trashed. Every project Brad ever had in mind and has not accomplished over the last 4 yrs....yep, it went too. Every box of who knows what crap that he had going....it made a trip to the dump. And the odd thing about it all....he'll probably never in his lifetime notice since he didn't even know it was up there to begin with. Every project he's ever put on hold and given me no less than 20 excuses why it cannot be handled today....well.....it finally got handled. The concrete table that, according to him, the town dump had no room for, was too heavy to lift into the bed of his truck, could not be dumped into the brush pile, was too large to heave anywhere else, the big city dump would refuse....yep, it got sledgehammered into a million little moveable pieces today and can now easily be hauled off to the dump in a fashion that will allow it to fit nicely, I'm thinking.


So I have once again decluttered and we can now sanely fit back into the confines of our little house out on the prairie.