Ten Little Piggies

Note to the public - this post has been edited since obliviate has never been and is no where near being a word. Though I attemped to make it one it does not mean it will ever become one now or in the near future. As I lay in bed tonight I realized that the word that evaded me so long is indeed obliterate....not obliviate. I just like to appear educated most of the time. My brain migrated south for the winter about 8 children ago....and never saw fit to come back.

climbing up a vine

one fell off

and then there were nine.

In our case it'd go something like this....

Ten little piggies growing on a foot

....one got smashed off.....

and then there were 9.

So I couldn't exactly think of anything rhyming in nature but that's about the extent of it. Sometimes life can't seem to get any more chaotic than it is. In fact, the events of the past few months have come so fast and furious that there comes a point when one just has to sit back and laugh. Seriously, who in the crap has this much transpire in a 4 month period of time???? It was such a freak accident that I am quite certain I told the story to the ER staff no less than 104 times as they sat there a bit stumped trying to piece the events together.

Last night as I was putting Ivye to bed I stopped to help Grayson with a stubborn pantry box that didn't want to fit back into the cabinet. Having been on the way to her bed she was in my arms. I placed her on the floor beside me while I wrangled with the belligerent box. Something was caught in the back of the cabinet so I began moving stuff around which knocked the commercial size, unopened waffle syrup bottle out of the cabinet. With her standing by my side it fell precisely on her pinky toe. It took a moment for the screams to fill the house and as I lifted the bottle off the top of her foot it was quite clear at that moment that her teeny, tiny baby toe was pretty much severed in half. I actually am becoming quite good and efficient at handling trauma so I whisked her up and placed her on the kitchen counter top.......leaving a trail of blood in our wake. I barked orders for Grayson to get me a phone, Evye to get me a towel and for Aubrey to begin putting coats and shoes on the little ones. Evye began to cry, successfully setting off a few others as well. Brad had been on a transfer to Dallas all day and was still far from home. With cell reception being less than wonderful it took more than a few tries for the call to finally go through. I tried to calmly explain to him what happened and what shape her toe was in....but it took everything in me to even look at it to assess the damage. It was decided that we would meet him in one of the nearby towns he would be passing through on his way back to town so that he could have a look and decide what it needed and if the ER could be avoided. Standing there looking at it I knew it would have to be sewn back on but was still entirely hopeful he would say I was making a much bigger event out of it than it was and he could just glue it back on with some Dermabond or something of the sort. With shoes and coats on and everybody bundled Grayson was given instructions to start the van and get it warmed up. Minutes later he was back in stating that it wouldn't start. I assumed the engine block was just cold and figured I'd mess with it as soon as I was ready to go. I ran out only to discover that there was no convincing it to start. Another call to Brad, several bitterly cold, rainy trips out to the pasture sinking in mud to bring in extension cords to plug the engine block in, several attempts to see if we could get it warmed....but nothing. By this time Ivye was completely happy, chirping and playing and the bleeding had slowed. It was coming through the towel wrapped around her foot but it was safe to say that she was not in any danger of bleeding to death.....or even remotely close to it. I became very very hopeful at this point that nothing major was needed. I finally had to acknowledge that there was no hope of the van ever starting so it was decided that Brad would stop by the house on his way back into town. About an hour after her little injury occurred hero husband turns into the driveway with big red and blue lights flashing, showing off for his house full of rescue loving, adrenaline pumped little boys. Little boys raced to the ambulance to welcome him home and talk loudly of his mode of transportation. I was quite certain by the end of it that every citizen of our entire tiny town had heard of his arrival by the time he made it into the house. He peeled back the towel and the sight of her toe turned my stomach. He confirmed that it definitely needed to be seen....as it was just barely hanging on.

A call was made to our dearly loved and trusted babysitter and she was on her way. With Ivye in tow Brad and I loaded up on the medic with both the nurse and other paramedic that had been on the transfer and we were on our way....to the ER for the 2nd time in less than a month. Though he was far from mad, heroic, on the job husband wasn't quite in the jolliest of moods either. He dropped us off at the ER and left to finish his transfer duties such as filling the medic back up, handwashing it and all of the other odds and ends that go with the job. It only took a couple of minutes ....I LOVE living in a small town.....to get her back to triage. Once there they did the usual of wrapping her arm in a tiny blood pressure cuff, taking temps and all of stuff they do. Being the tiny fireball that she is she was quite the one man party and was having the time of her life with everyone doting on her. As they finally got around to looking at her toe and asking for the story the beginning of the disbelief began. I attempted to explain and re-explain as nurses just sat trying to conceive that a syrup bottle has enough power as to obliterate a baby's toe. They proceeded calling in other nurses to look and hear the apparently amusing story for themselves. I don't think they ever understood that the size of the syrup we buy is like their syrup bottle on steroids and obviously completely capable of taking off a baby's toe.

Once told that this was not an urgent care issue and indeed had to be seen in the ER we were taken back to a room with little to nothing to keep one occupied....except for maybe playing with the vomit tray, sucking on tongue depressers and popping cotton balls like popcorn. She did find it entirely amusing to toss the pink little kidney shaped trays across the room and hear them hit the floor over and again. I did manage to catch a little of the Duggar's show on TLC and it wasn't nearly as traumatizing as I thought it would be to see fertility goddess woman walking around largely pregnant and as far along as I should be. Maybe I was just that desperate for some sort of something to keep me occupied. Injured baby wasn't quite feeling so injured by this point and was becoming quite the mascot of the ER so we had many visitors stopping by to chat and play in the midst of it all. X-rays were taken to assess bone status and to get an idea of how crushed her toe really was. Laid back and kindhearted dr finally made his way in and assessed it once again. Bone was still completely intact due to her tiny little bones being a bit like a green tree limb.....very bendable and quite pliable. But nope.....there was no gluing that could be done and yes....it was going to require a complete circle of stitches around her toe to reattach it. Fun.

Dr disappeared again to locate helpful nurse and bring back the needed supplies. With on duty husband still absent I was beginning to worry, fearing that I would have to go this alone. Backboard, complete with pediatric straightjacket included, appeared in the dr's hand as he made his grand re-entrance. We laid her down and velcroed her in...much to her utter amusement. She seemed to think this entire night was nothing but a fun little late night jaunt to Wal Mart. By this time she is laughing and putting on a merry little show for anyone who dared come pay her any attention at all. The lidocaine shot was fairly unpleasant for both her and everyone else within the ER that had even minimal hearing ability. Once that was over she bounced back to talking and observing what was taking place. Somewhere in there good dr announced that there was no possible way to reattach her toe given the tiny size of it and how badly it was severed. The decision was made to cut it off. That was about the only time during the whole event that I feared passing out completely. How does one just entirely cut a baby's toe off???? Finally off duty husband appeared in street clothes and the relief I felt was unrivaled. He seemed to know every dr and nurse present so the night began to grow continually better. The dr was quite certain given her age and the resiliency of children that her now partial toe will grow completely back as if nothing had ever occurred. So it was that he removed the little that was left of the end of her toe and bandaged it up. We were given instructions to clean 3 times daily and re wrap it each and every time.....and keep her off her feet for 3 days. I laughed at that one. This is the 12 month old baby that has already been walking for 2 months and who no longer walks but runs everywhere she goes. I had unpleasant visions of an exersaucer and 8 hrs a day worth of Baby Einstein. Lovely.

So it is that her tiny little foot is in a soft cast of bandages and gauze and will be for the next week or so....with promises that her tiny little toe will indeed grow itself back. The dr did state that in the event that it does not grow back it still could've been so much worse. It is merely a cosmetic issue that will have no lasting effects or any debilitating long lasting injury affecting physical abilities.

After grabbing a bite to eat we eventually made our way back home. Seven eager siblings met us at the door to check out the new white bandage she was sporting. Brad was now unexpectedly home for the night so we bedded everyone back down and the two of us made a party out of it. We sat up talking and laughing in relief and scrounging around for any amount of sugar we could find to satisfy the late night sweet tooth.

After it all..........the van started this morning.

Sometimes the attacks are so obvious and blatant that one just can't help but laugh. We are still alive and well and no one is any worse for the wear.....except for one select little family member missing 1/2 a toe or so.