Thanksgiving Week Pics

With Mother having driven in last Sat we spent the majority of the entire week outside hiking, fishing, playing and doing a day trip to the outer banks. After seeing the south end last time and being able to take the ferries and drive up to see Cape Lookout, Ocracoke, Hatteras, and Bodie Island we opted to go north this time. Driving from Raleigh we crossed over at Nags Head and drove north all the way to the northern tip to see The Whalehead Club and Currituck Light. In the spring we'll head back to see the historical reenactment of The Lost Colony, the story of Virgina Dare, and Fort Raleigh that stand on Roanoke Island. Due to the limited time this week we just played on the beach and climbed the light. With Hatteras not allowing anyone under the age of 7 to climb I didn't expect much differently at Currituck. It was shocking and quite the surprise when we were met by two kind old men that fell in love with all of the children and allowed the entire group of us up. 7 and under were free but due to the number of children in tow and how impressed they were with manners displayed they allowed Aubrey up for free also. It added to the spontaneity and fun to discover the last day of the season for the light to be open to climb is this Sunday...so our timing was perfect. It closes at 5 pm everyday, we arrived at 4:15....enough time to climb it and watch the sunset from 158 feet in the air and experience its first blink of the night to the world. So, we ascended to the top....all 214 steps. At the top we were met with cold 46+ mph winds that did not prove to be kind to featherweight children, or adults with backpacks that acted as parachutes in the wind. So, any picture taking at the top was a bit limited due to death grips on kids hands and a trepidiatious Grant. It was quite the memorable experience and absolutely amazing to be able to let the children experience sunset by lighthouse.

By the next morning I had intelligently ascertained that instead of P90Xing that day my legs screamed that I had instead just done 214 squats on the climb up. With 17 extra pounds of pregnancy and a 25 lb baby on my back I figured I had some pretty good resistance going in my favor. They don't open back up for the new season until Easter Sunday of next year. I had every intention of begging Brad to take me around my due date so we could climb together and perhaps put me into labor....but seeing as how Easter comes a month after baby is due I'm hoping I won't still be pregnant at that point. It would be quite the story though. And how many people can say they've climbed a lighthouse at 40 wks pregnant?



More to come of the week's events and emotions that are capable of swinging so volatily back and forth as the adjustment to life so very far away from Texas still continues and we grow accustomed to a different world. I'm a little emotionally drained at this point...as tears consumed much of day today with Mother pulling away on her return journey southwest. So, any writing at this point is a little fact driven and lacks a little enthusiasm. How very much in love I am with this place though....but how very far away it is from the relationships we have always had in our lives and that of the children's. I am so absolutely in love with the opportunities we have here and what the children are able to experience. And how in love I am with the richness of life here....but how much I miss those we left behind....and how grateful I am when we see them. I miss Mother....alot. Lots of lots of laughter when she is here and many many tears when she pulls away. Late night trips to Wal Mart and Target with Grayson and Evye in tow as laughter consumes. I love what she is in our children's lives, the same sense of humor we all possess, and I love the friend that she is to me. I wait for the day she can join us here and the fun never stops.

.....These are their one year pics but since they didn't get out of the stroller near the water these worked.

Twins.....

........and twins.

Trying for a rare pic with me actually in it. Had Evye chosen to actually look at the camera and Ivye been a little more cooperable I'm thinking it wouldn't have been too bad.

...and everybody with Granny.

Currituck Lighthouse

The climb up. How forever grateful I am for Grayson...his willingness, strength, ability, and tender heart as he is more than willing to backpack a baby too when Brad is absent. I am in awe of the glimpses we are beginning to see of the man he is becoming.

Little blurry...or alot blurry. One of the many landings we hit, looking upward at what still remains. Pretty cool.

Sunset from 158 ft in the air

Everybody at the top. Poor Grant.

"Granny time" as they try to figure out what it all is.

Waiting for the 1st wave immediately after they were set free. Ivye was more than a little overcome by the vastness of it. I fell in love with this pic once home and we downloaded to see what moments had been captured. This one was pretty priceless and entirely indicative of everyday life....Grayson and Evye forever side by side, Aubrey and the little boys inseparable, and somebody always and forever watching out for Ivye.

Phone pics.....

When she couldn't hold on any longer.

A few days before. How I found both when I went in to get them up from naps. There's something to be said for the ability to go naked when one feels the urge!

This wasn't entirely what I had planned. The van is still coughing up sand.

Light was swiftly fading and these were taken with the phone. They're grainy and a little blurry because of it.

The joy of group pics. Ivye...forever in love with her Grayson. And there's a baby on his back so despite the fact it looks like one's missing...he really is there.

Due to the fact it's a sideways phone pic you have to click on this one to get the whole picture. It's too large to fit normally in a post. I could shrink it through photobucket...but I don't want to take the time to do it at the current moment.

More Daybook Randomness

Outside my window.....

red, yellow, orange, brown...trees slowly undressing for naked winter beauty. Leaves that dance like fairies to the ground. Ground already blanketed in 2 feet of whispering, dancing, autumn life.

I am thinking....

that Mother is able to bring the double Baby Jogger stroller that we left at home with the intention of selling. I did not anticipate there being so very many paths and amazing trails to run or the family walks down forested trails we'd be able to take away from home. Excited that she is not flying but driving instead, that it's only a mere 3 days away until she arrives, that she'll be spending 8 days instead of the 3 originally planned, and she's able to bring stuff with her...like the running stroller!

I am thankful for.....

unexpected gifts and amazing answers to prayers that only the Lord knows we have prayed. The Lord is exceedingly faithful and He is our provider.

I am wearing......

hot date night clothes.

I am hearing.....

"Run" by Sugarland w/ Matt Nathanson. I don't even like Sugarland but I like this song...not to mention that it gets stuck in the head. A whole lot sexy, a whole lot sultry, and a whole lot hot. Not advisable for kids but every marriage needs it. And yep, I do listen to it. Keep it hot. Keep it alive.

I am remembering......

that I am strong in every way. I can do anything I set my mind to. I can run 24 weeks pregnant. I can P90X 24 weeks pregnant. I can stay hot for my husband. I can start a business if I want to because I have the ability to and it's perfectly acceptable to realize that I might actually be really good at something. I can homeschool my children and use all of life as a school book. I can take absolutely every one of my kids in with me wherever I go no matter how many people it pisses off because my children are well behaved, they are kind, they get along, and they are courteous to the strangers that are absolutely put out by the sheer number of them and the fact they even take up space in the world. I can parent these many children well because I have been given the grace and the mercy of a God that continually extends it to me when I mess up every minute of every hour of every day. I am strong. I am here and I can conquer. And when I choose to continually put each step in front of the other and continue running as mind screams to quit I can dig deep and conquer the inner beast of apathy, mediocrity, laziness, and the desire to quit while in pain. And in pushing through when I run I discover I have pushed through in so many more areas of life that extend far beyond the realms of physical body. I have conquered giants in life in those 30 minutes...people, opinions, judgements, areas I wage war with within my head, and so much more. I have conquered self and the gratification that comes from that element in life is great.

I am going.......

to make some more hairbows. I really love creating and making and am a little bit in awe that people want to buy something I love doing. Another post for an upcoming day. There's already been requests for more creations and 8 orders just due to a few pictures I posted on FB and from our girls being out in public wearing them. Pictures will be in an upcoming post on here along with the story of the vision for a little family based home business that is starting to take shape.

I am reading......

the newest craft project I have taken on. I gathered old boards from the deteriorating house at the end of our road and am stenciling in pretty letters what will eventually state...."If you are going to act like a turd go lay in the yard."

I am hoping.....

that the 3/4-1 mile I am running and the other 3 1/4 I am walking 3-4 times a week will pay off both in laboring and birthing a baby and getting my shape back after the fact. And that my muscles will eventually stop screaming from the 200 squats a day that P90X provides.

On my mind.....

"Unless it is mad, passionate, extraordinary love it is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love should not be one of them."

Noticing that.....

drastically cutting back on needless carbs and eliminating all junk food from our diet has resulted in massive amounts of inches lost in my thighs and arms.....think the hips are there to stay til after baby.....and yet baby is experiencing leaps and bounds of growth and can be felt pretty regularly now. Think it's liking the massive amounts of protein being ingested. And in safely cutting back on carbs, per tons of research I have done on low carb pregnancies and a lower carb life, the mild swelling that was already starting has been completely resolved and I feel better than I have in awhile...and my shoes fit comfortably when I run!

Pondering.....

that when autumn consumes the forest and trees grow bare the privacy curtain provided by dense green growth suddenly seems to disappear and the neighbors now all have bird's eye views of anything taking place within the bedroom. Kinda funny and adds an exciting element to life without window coverings. Thankfully, if they've seen anything they haven't said anything. Maybe blinds are in order afterall....or maybe not. Jury's still out on it.

Around the house....

leaves that fall as thick as blankets from the sky. It's a surreal experience to go stand in the yard as they all fall in the windy gusts.

One of my favorite things.....

friends and family that travel over a thousand miles to stay involved in Brad's and my life, and stay in the lives of the children, the people that call, text and stay in touch despite the distance, and for the myriad of new people we have been able to meet in a new place. They surround us, encourage us and have fallen in love with our children in their new land and I am ever grateful for that.

Life in pictures.....

Afternoon hike. And no, babies were not carried the entire way. This place actually had paved trails along with wooded forest trails. We opted for the stroller and paved trails having never been there before. Having seen it now and mapped out some of the others the plan is to put babies in backpacks and take off where the paved trails don't lead.

the birthday girl!


So, the homemade cake we had every intention of making in the end was not made due to the fact that by the time we got home and it was time to stat throwing it together it was already 6 pm. That wasn't really working with bedtime or anything else. We ended up with this nasty thing, which nobody really ate, so the very next night had yet another birthday party with a real cake that actually tasted good! We have had some amazing bakery bought cakes that tasted so good....this was not one of them. She still had a good time! And we all had some more fun the very next night too!

Little Bit Homesick

I know the plans the Lord has for us here are good. And I know He did not open every door to pave our way effortlessly here for naught. But, there are days when I do wonder what is to come. I'm homesick. Really truly homesick...to the point of being overly emotional and letting the meaningless trivial nonsense bother me. Things that should never in a lifetime matter have begun to. Nuisances that would normally be, and should be, so easily brushed off are difficult to deal with as I struggle to find our new normal here. I read other blogs and, at times, it seems as though if anything other than utter, complete, blinding happiness is portrayed than you're not trusting the Lord....or the example being set is less than ideal. But, you know...we're here and this walk is not always a smiley one. My attitude could be better at times, but this is it. This is the very real part of life....not the picture perfect world that seems to be so mandatorily portrayed by some. It's the same type of mentality that takes place in church. Hardy pats on the back with boisterous voices that proclaim "Bless ya, brother!!!" while never digging deeper, or even more, turning around and being the world's biggest buttholes in the middle of the week. Put on the happy face for church so we can all walk away and struggle quietly in our walk with the Lord the other 6 days of the week. It's all surface, the correct face supposed to be worn to play the part appropriately...the "if you trust in the Lord you're always cheery on the outside" thing. And it's just not reality. Reality is....the very real aspect that husband does not have a job yet. Reality is that we both desperately have a heart's desire and a vision but implementing that and waiting and trusting is entirely difficult for someone who loves stability and security....especially where finances are concerned. Having come from a family with a father that made astronomical amounts of money in the 80's oil boom and as children we were given much and then living through losing it all, our massive house of 10 years being repossessed, forced to pack up the entire thing in only 3 days, then living in a rent house eating broccoli for a meal and giving up the family van as rent one month....leaves one to deeply desire stability in finances. Stability in every area of life. Trouble and divorce brewed for years in parents' marriage but after 30 years the finances and lack of stability was its demise. So, at the age of 19, my mom and I moved to yet another rent house as their messy divorce was sorted out. And so....I love stability in marriage and I love knowing finances are in order. 10 kids, pregnant, and no job does not always leave one with the warm fuzzies. But husband and I are desperately in love, we have the strength to make life work no matter what happens, we work together well, our children are well cared for and desperately loved and we do trust that the Lord brought us here for a reason.

So I'm here...overly emotional, a little bit stressed and whole lot homesick. I live in a fairy tale setting with a marriage most people will never in their lifetime experience but in the romance of our life is the very huge reality that we need an income to take place rather swiftly, and as beautiful as life is here there are many many people we love that we left 1500 miles west...in the sun and drought and bad income. How is it possible for one's heart to occupy two places like mine does at this moment? It, in a very real sense, occupies two different worlds unlike anything I have ever known. I watch my children run through the knee high leaves, jump with an autumn rainbow of foliage cascading down adorning hair like bows. I hear their laughter in the cold rain, greet them with cups of hot chocolate, watch them labor together with shovel after shovel until leaves fill trampoline and they pounce with contagious laughter that floats through open windows filling house with joy. I run in the 68 degree weather, up and down the hills we live in, feel life and blood coursing through veins and every God given sense is magnified 100 fold. I hold babies close and watch my 3 year old birthday girl...the very meaning of her name, energetic life...filling our home with joy unknown to most. She fills my heart with utter joy and brings girly yellow rays of sunshine to the masses of rowdy, fun loving boys she's sandwiched between.

And the tears fall while emotions overwhelm. There's stress. There's alot of stress right now and heart quivers at the unknown. But we are here and my arms and heart overflow with the abundance we have been given. Uncertainty, stress and a homesickness spurn frequent tears while emotions remain volatile. I don't miss the barren pastures void of all growth, struggling to feed livestock. I don't miss the 110 degree days from April until October. I don't miss the rotten attitudes of a very rural small town life and small minded people. But I do miss our little home. And I really honestly do miss the hard floors we had.....bad attitude aside. Most of all I miss what was that will never be again. There is no going back. If we were to leave right this minute it would never be the same. I miss the comfort zone and the stable income. In the midst of it all and in the stress of the unknown I hold solidly to the fact that I do know beyond everything within me that we were not bought here to be forsaken. The Lord has never once failed to provide for us and He is faithful in every way. He is good all the time and He has our best interest at heart. He has given us these children and He will provide for their needs.I can talk a big talk and say I trust the Lord and we're stepping out into the great unknown with the faith of a mustard seed, completely confident that He will provide, and I can say to pursue the dream and dare to live on the edge but walking it out is a very different story. It's the real life application that when you do follow Him there are great unknowns around every corner. And it's the reality of digging deep....deeper than I have in a long while....to know that He is in control and He is the one that has moved us and He is the one that provides for us. No fire dept is our provider, no second source of income is our provider, no insurance business is our provider. The Lord alone is our provider and I will trust because I know that just as He brought us through hell and back and I doubted His very existence during that time I know He will bring us through this and show us what His plan is for our family. When one gets out of the comfort zone is when one can be used the greatest. It is only then that he understands the height and width and depth and breadth of a God that is rarely needed by today's people. It's when one is being stretched the most that the most growth occurs. Just as it is with running...when it starts to hurt, that's when you start making progress....so it is in this walk of mine with the Lord. When I am in my little comfort bubble I am happy...and entirely grateful for absolutely everything because I truly know how exceedingly blessed our family is. But outside of the bubble is when true growth occurs. And I can feel it. Because I know the effort it takes to stay optimistic and not let the world come crashing down. I know the effort it takes on my part to not let the tears fall everytime my heart quivers with the unknown of finances and our future. I know the stretch it is for me to continue to smile for my husband and my children when I just don't feel very smiley. And that's where growth occurs. To lay myself aside, the trepidation of my own heart and my own past, overcome my fears and continually, moment by moment, lay it at the feet of the One that does have our future in His hands and knows exactly why He brought us up here...opened up every door and paved every step....to live our dream.

Despite homesickness and tears and deep desire to curl up in the comfort of the stability we left behind I still love it here. Even with 10 sick kids....I'm still in love. Weather is beautiful. Children play on untraveled paved hill while I run in the sun and the cool and the leaves. Cold days come and we do fires in the fireplace, soup, and, as of now, are curling up in front of good movies and books with the drastic number of sick kids we have going....and I go run while they sleep to keep my sanity amidst the coughing, earaches, fiery throats and to see something other than the four walls of the house. It is a wonderful life and I refuse to be drug down by uncertainty and lack of trust in a God that has proved Himself faithful over and over again within our life and within our family. I simply look no farther than our two little miracle boys and I know that He is faithful and His love endures forever. We are here. We are safe. And we will walk out the unknown with hope and excitement of what the future holds because He is the one guiding our footsteps.

Foreign Substance #999,801

2:37 AM. Did I mention we have carpet???? And, oh yes....we have carpet. And what I ignorantly and naively failed to figure into the equation besides just mud, food, drink stains??? Puke. Seeing as how 11 year olds are capable of puking a gallon even when they have had nothing to eat the entire day due to fevered loss of appetite they still can wake up from a dead sleep and not make it to a toilet. That crap about me bleaching the carpet if/when it came to that....it wasn't a joke. And I just bleached the crap out of it.....mad while I did it. And i'm still mad. I hate carpet. It's 2:43 AM in the morning and I hate carpet. I loathe it. Like, I could take a shotgun to the neighbor/deputy sheriff/landlord right now. How the crap can carpet be cheaper than the cheapest linoleum??? It's not. I saw it at Lowe's AND Home Depot yesterday. Carpet is the same price. And our's just got puked on. And that little pipe dream about bleaching it and turning it a glistening white...it doesn't do that. Bleach turns carpet yellow. But at least now we all are quite assured that it's hygienic...at least in that one spot. So now we have gray and yellow carpet that's been puked on.


Then the thought came....fever has made it's way through 5 kids. If this is only the beginning of puke and that was the 11 yr old "controlled" version of trying to reach the toilet than I can only imagine the fury that is to come if the 7 and under crowd get this part of it. I think I'll just invest in a power washer and hose the whole place down with straight bleach and then just blowtorch the rest to toast any remaining germs into non existence. Who does this insanity??? Who actually lives with carpet? I honestly don't even comprehend why they make the crap. Even if you don't have kids it's entirely animal unfriendly. Cause they puke and pee and crap all over it too. Really, it's just unfriendly in every regard cause in order to exist on it you have to WALK on it....and shoes are dirty. And that little squirt bottle of Resolve ain't cuttin it.


We're supposed to go visit a huge church with some 400 kids this Sunday. It's full of homeschoolers, though the largest family there has 7. Once word made it's way around our little community our family somehow turned into a mini celebrity and we have been invited over and again by fellow church goers in awe. But seriously.....400 kids??? All I see are 400 little walking talking mucous blobs running around sneezing, hacking and licking our kids. And then they all come home and puke...on carpet. I'm seriously doubting the whole church thing right now. And puke thing. And fever thing. And carpet thing.


I think I have cooled down enough to sleep and my little tantrum is over. It helps that I am in bed not actively looking at the puked on, bleached, yellowed area of disaster. I am, in fact, in bed next to a husband that slept through the entirety of it....which actually made me even madder at the time mental stability was in question. So, here I am....a little sleep deprived and a little bit mad....in our house with the nasty gray carpet. And I am thankful for our home and refuse to lose sight of the fact we have a roof over our heads, a heater going as temps dip into the low 30's, running water to make the bleach solution...although I kinda didn't dilute it....and water for her to shower all the puke out of her hair. We do have room for them to roam and we do still have land for 2 happy dogs and large fenced in areas for children to play. If carpet is the worst of my problems than I'm doing pretty well...or mostly well...cause it is still carpet.


When husband did finally roll over and ask groggily in a manner I am 100% certain he will not even remember in the morning, "Babe? What's wrong?" I assured him a little angrily that if another kid pukes in this house before we move out that I am cutting out the area of every stained spot and I don't even begin to remotely give a crap what Jerry the Landlord thinks. He gruffly tousles hair in a manner that assures me he is not even close to being awake and says with concern, "oh no. No, you won't. It'll be ok." But I'm serious and he'll figure that out come morning if we have a checkerboard floor. If anybody else pukes...I'm just cutting it out....and then I'm pouring bleach on the flat painted white walls and cabinet doors. I already sprayed those down but I just don't really see a problem with dousing them liberally with a gallon of it. It'll save a ton of time and conserve energy so I can actually sleep.

Looks like we're going to do some rug shopping tomorrow.

Random Pics

Sound of rain falling steadily. Silhouette of leaves cascading down in dark night, weight of drops too much for leaves to bear. Cold breeze through open window, hot baby skin against chest. Long hours into the night, house quiet, walls expanding and contracting with the breaths they all take. Only mind and feverish baby rocked in arms to face the stillness....and mind wanders....thoughts...wildly, crazily into the night. Where they should be....where they shouldn't be...and everywhere in between.



With 5th kid now running 103 within the past week it's become a very quiet house. Graham was the 1st, developing an ear infection with it. Infection was treated with colloidal silver and he's back on the move and very much on the mend. While his ran a 3 day course, Gavin fell in behind him, minus the ear infection, but ran 4 days worth of fever and the inability to get it to completely break at any given time in there. Both of those guys are finally over it but we now have Evye, Ivye and Gatlin all down with it and running a consistent 103. I can't remember the last time anybody's been sick so I guess we're doing really well on that end. But with that many actively sick or recovering the house has become very still and oddly quiet. So, just pictures for now as we run our little infirmary.

Partners in crime

When the "I wanna do it by myself" backfires a little.

Wild, crazy Baby A

Laying around keeping the sick ones company and getting them what they need. Lessons in serving each other and meeting each other's needs. I love how happy they are to play nurse. Lightens the load a bit and makes the night shift completely do-able.

The quiet ones that still feel good

There's always a buddy around even when you still aren't feeling top notch. They're having fun with the phonics, abc, paint, and number games on the phones....and angry birds, which they're better at than I am. My patience, or lack thereof, doesn't do very well with angry birds.

Laundry basket fun.

Trying to get them to sit still for just 1 pic. It never did work.

Inevitably one bails and another kid is right behind waiting for the vacant spot. They're all barely dressed due to all the fevers. Keeps laundry at a minimum though!

When You Have Nothing To Say....

It's missing a chair that was in the basement at time of picture...but you can imagine it in its place with enough room for all of us.

....so you pretend like you do.


Honesty....there's this thing called writer's block....and I've got it. How one can go from something like the events that surrounded our life in '09, to defying the odds and becoming pregnant again, to finding out we were having twins....again, to a birth like what their's was, to husband quitting the only profession he has ever known and selling out, wildly moving 10 kids and a pregnant wife, with absolutely no promise of an income 1500 miles east...well, how does one ever write anything interesting again?? Life's pretty, well...normal. We get up, we live, and we go to bed. This blog is not known in the large family realms...or any realm for that matter....for any life changing tips or instructions on how to do this whole ton of kids thing....cause honestly, I have no clue how to. It's not really known for anything at all or any tips on how to live....kids or no kids....which is actually fine with me because it keeps expectations low. It's just a personal journey and that's all it is.It's the story of forsaking it all to live radically. You only get to do it once so make the most of it. We...Brad and I....just kinda wing it....every singe day. To pretend I have any wisdom about this side of life is laughable. If I have figured out anything it's that the more one lives the more one doesn't have a clue about life at all. It's just one big journey and to pretend like you know something just makes you look arrogant and egotistical...because there's always the corner you didn't ever in your life anticipate turning and there's always the moment that you never expected in life...the words you never thought you'd hear spoken. But it happens and you learn, you become a better person and you figure out that what you thought you knew you didn't know at all. So, you get radical, you do the extreme and live the way no one else is willing to live...because you've figured out that you only live once, it's short and the joy is in the journey...so make it a journey you want to walk.


Makes me think of the song which sums it all up pretty well...the secret of life isn't any secret at all. You don't get your money back. So, just live it...cause you're not gettin another chance at it. Do what no one else will to live like no one else will ever live. And therein lies the joy. It's all pretty simple really...just takes the inner strength to do the extreme.


Blogs that tell you how to raise your kids, why they have a ton of kids, why you should have a ton of kids, how they came to attain perfect kids, how to attain perfect parental status, how to clean your house, how to decorate your house, how to organize your life, how to attain super spiritual status...they're a dime a dozen. And this blog is nothing more than life as we know it. The getting up, the living it and the going back to bed...and everything in between that happens when your kids outnumber you 10-1. And sometimes when they actually behave and don't dig in toilets, sharpie marker the walls, throw pecans up dryer vents, empty entire contents of kitchen onto floor and so forth, you don't have livestock that die when you look at them, you don't own ornery horses that are so stupidly smart they unlatch pasture gates...there's just not much to really write about.

I could go on about the carpet...could actually go on about that for days...but that's just gripy. And nobody in their right mind wants to hear somebody else gripe or the personal internal issues one has going with their landlord. And, really, after spending 4 hours vacuuming it it's not all that bad....at least when one has acquired the ability to live in denial about it in order to avoid being anal retentive and difficult to live with.


Best friend in all the world and I had a dinner date last night while husbands stayed home, fed and bedded down kids. Pretty fun and something we have only dreamed about for years. In the midst of our maternity clothing hunt, since we are due a mere 5 days apart, I managed to find 4 pair of maternity jeans for 7.00 each. Since I had worn out the knees and ripped holes in all my others I've been stuck in my size 7/8 non maternity jeans this entire pregnancy. And at almost 22 wks they were growing a little snug....to put it mildly. I can still get them zipped and buttoned though so they worked well for our night out. And I did manage to wear a non maternity shirt...not that it should've been done....but I did it anyway. Seeing as how it's 40 below here and I only have a wardrobe that is suitable for no less than 50 degrees I found the warmest thing I possessed...and it wasn't maternity but it did cover body. On the jean note....maternity jeans are alot more comfy than the 7/8 non maternity thing....and I now have 4 new pair. I did find that I fit into mediums so that comforted the heart and the whole mental game taking place within the head right now as body expands.


While at Kid to Kid another table highchair was found for a mere 9.99. Celebration ensued and tonight was our 1st family meal with the entire family all gathered around in their seats at the table. So far we've been letting one baby walk around while family eats or we put one in the 1 table highchair we were given while Baby 2 sits right in the middle of the table in the Bumbo. That specific baby becomes our centerpiece for the night and both baby and kids seem to love the novelty of it. Centerpiece baby suddenly transforms into comedian and the absolute center of attention. But, as of today, all 12 of us have assigned seating at the table. Topic of discussion tonight....with the addition of the extra seat we have completely maxed out the table. Looks like there may be standing room only for Baby 11.

So, on that note...life is pretty quiet and blissfully peaceful. We're where we want to be doing what we want to be doing. Our hearts are fulfilled as we know the peace and the absolute joy of of having stepped out and trusted the Lord with our future. And on a different day...when I'm feeling authortorically inspired.....I might write of our job situation here, the story of the pregnancy and birth of our 1st set of twins, which has been asked for and requested numerous times, and I'll seriously get around to the closet post and the how to's of conquering the closet. I will write the closet post at some point. I just fear that if I write it at the present moment it'll be boring, a bit drab and uninteresting, and difficult to follow due to rambling thoughts...since that seems to come a bit naturally.

Picture Journey of Baby 11 - 21 weeks

It's been 5 weeks as far as pictures go for this baby and the request have started coming again. I haven't been able to see any huge growth so haven't really thought too much of pics. Even comparing pics now growth is much slower with just 1 baby than it was with two at this point. Beginning at 21 weeks with our little guys I began to leap ahead of gestational weeks and never slow down until babies came at 40+ weeks. I'm still lagging behind the normal 2 cm with a single baby like I usually do. But I have indeed grown according to caregiver's measuring tape. Baby's heart rate continually stays in the low 140's. I'm beginning to have my doubts that such severe morning sickness is sure sign of baby being a girl. We have yet to have a girl with such a low heart rate, as they've always stayed in the 160's for the girls and been in the low 140's for boys. Suspense will end come mid March.


As fun as it is feeling baby regularly now and knowing this little one thrives, watching the weight pile on is always difficult...every. single. pregnancy. Butt, thighs and arms seem to grow so proficiently that they exceed the growth of stomach. Fun. And knowing I haven't run or worked out at all during this pregnancy...besides the sheer physical effort involved with moving your entire life 1500 miles....isn't really helping the mental game at this point. So, P90X is once again in full swing and I've begun running again. It's slow....alot slower than it was. But I figure anything is better than nothing. I read something the other day that said "Even at your slowest pace you're still passing everybody up that's sitting on the couch" or something to that affect. Pretty true. So, I run again and it feels good. It'd feel better if elephant status wasn't in full swing....but I love the high that comes with running...whether feeling rather weightless or thudding around cracking concrete at rhino size. And I'm sure the high of running and working out will once again be felt when I get over feeling like I've lost so much ground as far as what my body is capable of. If it pays off in the form of a shorter labor and less painful birth....which it did indeed seem to do last time.....than I'm all there.


So, I run once again and I P90 for the high that it brings and the feeling of strength...the determination and competitive drive that rises within and empowers the mind to go farther, faster and harder. I fight for it, the body that it will bring with it and the fact that I refuse to be elephasized by the end of this pregnancy. I think whale like state is just a given once anybody reaches 40+ entire weeks of pregnancy but I can refuse to tack on the whalelephant part that has the ability to accompany it. I run in crunchy leaves, and cool...really cool...or mostly just cold...fall mornings. I wake with husband at 5:15am and as he leaves to crossfit I go seek solace in the morning dark....in the 36 degree air...as feet hit ground and body remembers what it is to be pushed out of its comfort zone. Mind embraces once again what it is to overcome the inner scream and war that wages within and overcome it all. So, I'm going running. I'm P90Xing. And it feels pretty good. Or, it will in time. I think the self discipline feels better than anything right now. Hopefully the changing muscles are not far behind.

21 weeks with Baby 11

Last pic taken at 16.5 weeks. Pretty much looks the same to me. Except for the butt and thighs. They seem to grow really well in pregnancy.


And 21 weeks with 1 baby....

...vs two! The difference now becoming fairly visible between the two pregnancies. Up until about 21 weeks size is relatively the same whether pregnant with a single or twins.