From Their Mouths

They say stuff all the time that keeps me laughing. These were all said in the span of just yesterday.

Garrett: "Mom, this Baby A is not God"

Me: "Ummm....no,baby. Graham is not God."

Garrett: "And this Baby B is not God."

Me: "Nope. He's not God either."

Garrett: "But that's ok cause they both look like God."

Not sure where that one came from but it was worthy of note.

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And then comes last night. Just when you think you love them.
In a quick trip to grab a few things at Wal Mart I took in Aubrey, Garrison and Grant.

Me: "Do y'all see any Weight Watchers snacks?" ....and yes, they know what these are.

After a minute, the 3 of them in unison: "No ma'am."

Me: "Alright, well if y'all are going to come in with me you've got to help look. We can't stay in here forever....so look quick."

Dragging them through the packed, small town Wal Mart there was little room to even get down an isle...and they tend to talk loud enough for anyone within a 3 mile radius to hear. So, all of Wal Mart was in on this conversation.

Grant: "Why do you need Weight Watcher snacks? Why can't you just eat the normal ones?"

Garrison...before I could answer: "Cause she has alot of flubber."

Shocked, I turned and asked "Who does??"

Garrison: "You do!"

Aubrey: "Garrison, that's rude! You don't ever tell anyone they have alot of flubber, right mom?"

Garrison: "Well...I'm just being true. She has it on her stomach cause she's had fifty hundred babies."

Me: "Well...thank you, son. I'm feeling quite endeared to you right now."

Aubrey, taking up quite the offense: "Mom, I won't tell you that you have lots of squishy skin flubber right there cause it's just not nice at all...even though you do."


Just when I thought they were really starting to get the whole politically correct thing. Nothing like children...quite a few of them....to keep reality close at hand. Oh well...I am quite certain adoring husband is quite in love with it so we're good.

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And since Brad has lovingly nicknamed our little duo Baby A and Baby B the children now call them this quite lovingly as well. Garrett has always been known as "Shorty" to Brad. He and Ivye are the only ones that refer to him as this but he answers to it like his name.....except Ivye's version is "Shurty." Brad calls Gavin "Little Bit" and Ivye is known as "Pixie" to her daddy. So, the little babies are known as A and B....to the point that the children don't know their names but tell people who's A and who's B. Lovely.

Garrett: "Mom, this is baby A."

"Yep...that's Graham."

"And this is the other one."

"Yep...that's Gatlin."

"No...I don't know his real name. I forgot his number."

"His real name is Gatlin."

"But is he Baby X?"

"No, buddy, he is not Baby X."

"Well then, what's his real name?"

"His real name is Gatlin but daddy calls him Baby B."

"Oh yeah...Baby B. That's his real name."

And he skips off.

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Upon Evye telling me for the 149th time her nose itched...and honestly I was just really sick of hearing her talk about it...

"Ev...just pick it. It's probably a wiggly booger."

With a little laugh..."Mom, I don't have any boogers."

"Well...just pick it anyway."

"Mom, what's the point of going fishing in an empty pond???"

I couldn't very well argue with that one.

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Said this morning about the 600 sq ft detached playroom....

Me, with much enthusiasm: "Today we get to clean the playroom!!!"

....sighs from everyone around....

Evye: "Mom, why do you get soooo excited about cleaning stuff????"

Me: "Cause we can start P90Xing out there instead of the den. They'll be tons more room."

Evye: "Yes ma'am. But why do you ALWAYS get so excited about cleaning everything?"

"Well....cause it puts everything in its place and there's no clutter laying around. It just feels good. And you can't think clear in a crapped out space."

Evye: "You have 10 kids. You can't think clear anywhere."

Sooo....that one holds a little truth too.