Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

Anyone who is desperate enough to take this nastiness has definitely hit the pinnacle of desperation. Known for its amazing mineral content and health benefits it came HIGHLY recommended by many as an aid in elevating my iron count. Ummmm.......I suppose those would be the ones who actually got past the taste and choked it down....or who perhaps never even TASTED what they were busy recommending. How on earth does anyone swallow this without puking it up shortly thereafter?????? But, in an effort to applaud myself I will say that I have successfully downed it for about 5 days now. It was so nasty that a bowl of oatmeal or on toast made it last waaaaay too long. So, I have reached the conclusion that it's better just to dig deep and get it over with quickly......soooo, I fill a tablespoon up, TWICE I might add, and just eat it by the spoonfuls.



But given the fact that I have been told I can no longer exercise, run or train for the 5K until I get my iron count up I have found I can do pretty much anything when I'm motivated. Supposedly, to be this low and do any kind of hard physical activity puts my life at risk. I still have a very hard time believing I am at risk of just falling over on some colleche road with a stroke or heart attack at the age of 34. In fact, I find it rather laughable and hard not to just dismiss in whole. But according to the medical profession, and Brad, somehow in some way the iron in your blood is imperative when you perform any kind of heavy physical exertion...something about iron being the oxygen transporter. And yes....at one point in my life I was a nursing major that made an A in A&P. Where all that info went is up for debate now. I think somewhere along the way it got drowned in the bowl of Cheerios, smeared in the peanut butter and honey sandwiches and stuck in the syrup poured all over the floor. But, way back in the day, I actually knew all this stuff. Scary to think I am teaching science to my children. But Brad did attempt to explain it all to me once more. My brain fails me at the current moment when trying to re-explain why this is such an important part of bodily needs....but apparently it is. In my research though I did find it interesting that severe anemia is responsible for shortness of breath, lightheadedness when going from sitting or kneeling to standing, loss of appetite and, of all things, depression. Go figure. I honestly just thought I was short of breath cause I was that out of shape. The lightheadedness and yellow spots are just pretty much a given. I figured the loss of appetite was due to all of the depression and just being overwhelmed with all of everything that has taken place over the last little while. And then the depression thing.....wow. Who knew iron deficiency could play such games with not only the body but the head too????

So, I have actually found that the taste grows on one over time....maybe just out of sheer desperation. Today I actually managed to get it down without gagging. I think it may be growing on me. Overall, I am still not done with this whole process, thus the great need for boosting my iron. Though no longer considered severely anemic I still have it to contend with as I have graduated up to only being moderately anemic....which translates into "still way too low". No exercise, no running and all of the pleasant things that accompany being "sick" with this. I was tempted to take off running despite the dire predictions since they still seem so far fetched to me but I eventually gave in to Brad's requests of putting it off for yet another little while. Seems to be the story of my life these days....wait, wait, and oh yes, then wait some more. I could actually retitle the blog "In a week or two" and have it be entirely accurate since that seems to be everyone's opinion on my physical wellbeing right now. My pain threshold is being taxed since it varies from moderate to severe. I cold handle the moderate on any given day but when it's day in and day out infinitely it gets old and I once again end up in the "I'm done with this" boat. When it gets severe I end up on the hospital strength pain meds and wonder for the 100th time that day when I will ever be normal again. I will say that I have learned through this experience to lay myself down more than I ever have in my entire life. I have learned what it is to overcome discomfort and know what it is to do "all things through Christ who strengthens me" and just continue on with the day's routine. I have learned to give when I no longer feel like giving and learned to overcome the less than wonderful mood I feel setting in when the pain or the mind games start. I have been forced to lay myself down over and again for the wellbeing of those around me...and when I just want to go to bed I know what it is to have been given the grace and strength to carry on. I think once any good parent enters into parenthood they automatically enter into the selfless part of one's self and know it more intimately than they have ever known it within themselves. But as I walk this out I think I have seen grace and strength multiplied to me over and again and have been forced to know selflessness more than I ever dared wanted to know it.

So, in an effort to continue to heal and get well and to run again I will continue on with my blackstrapping molassesing ways. And sadly, I just can't quit taking the stuff. It is quite addictive once you research it and find what all it does and provides for one's body. I told myself two days ago that that was the last time I'd ever have to take it but here I am 2 days later still gagging the stuff down. I'm sure oneday when my iron count is through the roof I will be singing its praises but, for now, it is just plain disgusting. Oh, the things one does out of desperation.