Look Who's in Underwear!

Alright......so I have to say that potty training has been one of my least favorite things to do in parenting. Put honestly......it's just a pain in the butt. And, admittedly, I never feel very good at it. There's some stuff in parenting I feel pretty apt at and others where I just feel clueless. I feel like I finally have the house in complete order....on most days.......closets are minimized, organized and functional, chores stay done, bathrooms stay clean and the house itself is orderly with everything having a place and everything in its place....usually. Just don't come over on a rainy day. For the most part the children live outside making it easy to live simply and without too much clutter. I have made a grand attempt and one I think which was pretty successful at not becoming overrun by "stuff"......ie, toys, collectibles, things sitting around taking up space that prove to have no real purpose. I have found that I do not have to be surrounded by the beauty of "stuff" since I am surrounded by the beauty of life itself and the life that a husband, children, life itself , love and laughter bring to a home. Some may find this extreme, as everyone loves to decorate and have "homey" homes. I have found that for us having a homey manageable home is filling it up with children and not stuff. I can't handle trying to maintain both. So, I have come to love where the Lord has taken me on that journey and finally feel in control of our home. A good thing.

So, on to potty training...........one of the areas I have felt more than a bit clueless at since each and every child is so vastly different. But as we have continued to add to our family I have found that there are areas I have become so much more chilled out in. I love the place we are now in. I dearly love what I learned with my first few children but I dearly love the place to which we have been brought with the addition of so many more. Things I found that I felt obligated to harshly enforce in my older one in the younger days I no longer feel so dogmatic about with the younger ones. One of those many things consists of the whole potty training mentality. I have discovered that when left alone a child, at least so far of those that we have had....making 6 now, come to a place at around 2 1/2 that naturally lends itself to potty training. And the more we have the easier it gets. I think they see the older ones using the toilet 104 times a day and it is a coming of age, of sorts, for the little ones. I begin at about age 2 sitting them on the toilet before bath time. This is just in an effort to overcome any fear that may exist of the huge wide mouthed watery bowl swallowing them whole. Of course, they have all been different and some, like Grayson, actually were completely potty trained at the age of 19 months...who said boys were harder?????........and then ranging to those that have been between 2 1/2 and 3..more on the 2 1/2 side of it but still over the 2 1/2 year mark. All the well meaning opinions on this subject started to dwindle within my heart about the time I really focused on the boys. Few people that gave opinions ever potty trained twins in their entire lifetime so I just figured they had room to speak up on how overdue they thought they might be or what would get them out of diapers sooner due to the fact we had 2....or well, 3 in diapers at that point. I have found in our journey that the world seems to think the day children turn 2 is the magical day of potty training age. It is but the time in which they mature and reach the final goal is completely subject to the child and the parent encouraging them to attain the goal. The boys turned out to be miraculously easy.....easier than any of the other 3 I had ever had experience with up to that point. It was amazing and was started and finished within a matter of only 1 week. They were right at 2 1/2. So, when Garrett hit his 2 year birthday we began the fun and excitement of getting to sit on the potty. It's a huge deal to be allowed to do this so he felt big in every way. He was encouraged to pee every time but was still totally clueless on the exact muscle that controlled it all. Now 2 months shy of his 2 1/2 year mark he discovered the trigger, put it all together in his head and after 4 days of gentle and loving guidance is in underwear. I am still in awe. I love that this seems to be so much easier than I made it in the beginning. The worry, the feelings of having to live up to everyone else's expectations of my parenting abilities and what they "expect" out of my kids and the laying down of feeling bombarded by the jagged little comments of others. As with everything else, it is such a personal issue as to how we choose to parent and as we have come to rely on the Lord to give us wisdom and discernment for each and every different baby we have come to see there truly is no other way...no better way to make this do-able. It is truly listening to your parenting heart and the words that God speaks into it and tuning out what is both outwardly spoken or just inwardly felt by those that you know are thinking things...be it spoken or just the undercurrents you feel taking place. I do definitely believe there is a point in there that some children know fully what to do and what is expected of them and still choose not to whether out of laziness or a subtle control issue on their part. In these few incidents we have experienced with each one as they seek to test their boundaries a spanking...or 2 or 3.....was needed in order to let them know who is still the parent and what is acceptable and what is not. But what I have come to see is that with each one these occasions are rare and few and far between. Once that line is drawn and they get the drift quickly we never have anymore issues with it.

As we hit day 5 of this new milestone for Garrett he has had only 2 accidents the entire time which were quickly and easily cleaned up and have not occurred since. I set the timer the 1st few days to remind myself to remind him to take a bathroom break from playing and now we are just to the point of someone remembering every hour or so to check on him and send him on a potty trip. As it is still a novelty around here he usually has an audience that fills the bathroom up and applause and praise that rivals the longest of standing ovations given in this country. Why it is that this particular milestone never ceases to amaze me is still not completely understood within myself. But it seems that once they cross this threshold some kind of heavy weight of parenting is lifted. It seems that this is always one of the biggest things to overcome....well, THE biggest thing....in all of baby/todderhood. With him in underwear now we are only down to cloth diapers, except for nighttime use....which one box lasts 4 or so months......so our budget has seen great relief with this milestone too. It's an amazing thing not to be buying diapers. And it's an amazing thing to have yet another baby potty trained.

Each and every time it is the same feelings of elation and pleasant shock that it actually worked. Every time it is just like doing it the 1st time all over again with your very 1st one all over again. It never gets old. The feeling of success never gets old.

I love where we are now. I love what we have had the opportunity to learn along the way. I love what I am learning of how to train our children peacefully and gently and only guiding and steering them with a stern hand when necessary instead of making the stern hand and harsh ways the way to coerce them into all things we desire for them to do. Some people disagree vehemently of spanking while potty training while others think it is the only way to go. I sit in awe that I do not feel lost anymore concerning this issue and the wisdom I find that I have been able to glean by just relying on the wisdom and common sense God has instilled within Brad and I as parents. I have begun to pray and implicitly trust that the Lord will show me the healthy balance between lovingly guiding these children He has entrusted to us and disciplining them and to show me when it is needed and not needed. It sounds so simple....so elementary....to trust Him where parenting is concerned and it sounds rather insane to me at times that I pray and trust Him to show me down to the most simplest of things such as potty training each and every one of them. But the longer I parent the more I realize how imperative it is to rely on Him and trust Him even in the smallest most mundane things of life and the seemingly trivial, ongoing everyday tasks that go with parenting.

It is not only a matter of parenting or potty training...but the discovery of how involved the Lord is in my everyday life as a wife, a mother, a servant, and a daughter that He has created to live in order to carry out His purpose in these everyday things.