I have decided that showing a house with 3 small children and newborn twins was undoubtedly hard. But I've come to the conclusion that trying to show a house with 7 young children is infinitely harder. Despite the fact that Grayson is now 10 and Evye 7 it only evens the odds a little. I've had the two of them scrubbing walls, floors and picking up stuff all day long and it's just now starting to look as though we have done something. Granted, it sounds as though we live in a pig sty but after decluttering to the extent we did everything stays pretty much nice and neat with just a pick up needed throughout the day. But, it's the stuff and the projects still waiting to be dealt with and the inner bowels of the closets and the endless going in circles trying to figure out just what needs to be done now. It doesn't help that I have a major sinus infections that has been growing worse. All of the stirring up of dust and moving of things, getting boxes down and packing stuff up has taken it's toll. Today the fever hit and to try and stay on track and think of everything waiting on me was overwhelming while trying to feed everybody and keep them on track. Garrison and Grant went into demolition mode and decided it was a good day to go around and experiment. It didn't take long to fun lovingingly break about 4 things in the first hour of the day.
Gavin is now holding his own between everybody and can get from room to room in record time. He is pulling up on everything and just follows the crowd. He seemed to think the burst of activity was quite the source of entertainment and fun.
We returned home from Fort Worth to try and collect the needed remaining items for the home improvement projects and then set to work. There wasn't much of a chance of even coming up for air. We spent 2 entire days of our week in town and in the time we were home we were working. And then being sick and pregnant doesn't leave much energy left to work with. Ugh!
And once again I stand amazed at the interest generated in a house in tiny, small town west TX. We are seriously in the middle of nowhere. Brad and I have prayed fervently that the Lord would work wonders and do this quickly and provide us with a place to go. I'm not sure how well I will cope with the stress of having the house on the market for month after month. I've already been reduced to tears more than once today and it is only the 2nd day into it. The sale of the Suburban, trailer and everything else we have sold here has been nothing short of a miracle and has undoubtedly been an act of God on our behalf in each endeavor as we seek to pare down and minimize to more clearly follow Him and focus on what He truly desires out of life instead of being so burdened by the "things" of life. And so I have begun to pray that the sell of this house will be just as much of a work and a miracle in our lives....and that we would be exceedingly blessed for acting out of obedience for what we feel He is calling us to do. In the day and a half that we have had the sign in the yard we already have 2 showings for it for tomorrow. So, we shall see what God has in mind and how He moves within our lives.
One thing is for sure...we have tongues wagging in this small west TX town. Once more we are the talk of the town and everyone is shocked by the overnight appearance of the sign in our yard. Most people do not understand it...but then most people do not understand anything we do here. Sometimes as I gaze out of our windows while standing at the kitchen sink or rock Gavin as the sun sets and cast orangy pink hues like waves rolling across the billowy summer clouds I even wonder what we are doing and why we are leaving. But I know the all too familiar feeling of God moving and when He is impressing upon the hearts of His children to listen to His voice and heed His urging, waiting to see if His children will walk in obedience. I cannot imagine what we will turn down or what we will miss if we choose to stay here out of our own comfort...whether it because it is just easier to stay due to the vast amount of work that is involved in moving 1/2 across the state or just because we are comfortable here and prefer to never leave. It is an on- the-edge-of-our-seat faith walk...but isn't that what the Christian walk is supposed to be? Ultimate trust and blind faith in what we cannot see but what He already knows and desires to use us for and to do within our own lives. It is a journey, a stretching of your inner self to see the heights and depths you can go to because of who He is within you. Maybe if I didn't trust so implicitly in Him than I would be holding so much more tighter than I am at this point. And at one point I was. I held on to it so desperately and the idea of what was and the dream that we have been given here in our perfect little doll house with our pastures, goats, cats, dogs and donkey and the prairie winds that forever prevail that I could not see beyond it. I could only see the here and the now and the arriving of what has been so achingly longed for since girlhood days. But yet I have come to the realization that, though we walk a road that requires the very fibers of our being, the very depth and breadth and height of us. the very all of us, we serve a God that longs to give us the desires of our heart as we act in obedience to His word. So after having willingly released the death grip that I held on this dream I venture forth into this new territory of our lives, with complete uncertainty as to what the future holds or where it is we are going. There are no guarantees that we will end up in a place like what we are leaving but I venture forth with the promise of a God who loves us more than we can ever imagine or comprehend and that has plans to prosper us and give us a future and a hope. That when we will call upon Him and come and pray to Him He will listen to us. We will seek Him and find Him when we search for Him with all of our hearts. And that not only will we find Him but He will bring us back from all of the countries He drove us and He will once again bring us home from the place from which He sent us into exile. That we can count on in every way. And I live on the promise that while I have not exactly felt like we were in exile for these 2 years here it is a journey that was started many many years ago as we began the searching and wandering of our hearts as we looked in many different places to find the answers to life. It is the coming to an end of a period in which we were shaken and turned inside out and then finally driven away to find what it is we truly search for so that we can return home and do the serious work of what He is calling us to do and live in complete fulfillment as we live within His will.
So, despite the sinus infection and the colds that the children are fighting off and the seemingly overwhelming and daunting task that lay ahead of us as we ready the house to sell and the uncertainty of where it is we are going and the possibility of Brad commuting yet again for a time I press forward determinedly because I know that we are walking down roads we have never seen and more in touch with the intimate moving of the Holy Spirit more than we have ever been before. And I press forward knowing that there are abundant blessings at the end of this. There is a restored and loving family that eagerly awaits our return and longs to embrace each and every one of the 9, almost 10, of us. The years that have been taken do not compare to the years of restoration and healing that lay ahead as we fall more in love and closer to each other than ever before and establish relationships that most people will never know within a family.
So it is that Brad and I prepare our fields in preparation for the rain that the Lord is going to send and the harvest that is going to be reaped due to our obedience.....despite what we cannot see.
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