"How baby's growing: Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. She's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. (For the first 20 weeks, when a baby's legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the "crown to rump" measurement. After 20 weeks, she's measured from head to toe.) She's swallowing more these days, which is good practice for her digestive system. She's also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in her bowels, and you'll see it in her first soiled diaper (some babies pass meconium in the womb or during delivery). " Info received from BabyCenter.com.So...once again I am falling miserably behind in my blogging attempts. Brad and I have both noticed the children each needing their own individual time even more so lately. So...with that I have taken his shift nights and turned them into "date nights" for them. I rotate from Grayson on down to the boys. The plan was to give Garrison and Grant each a night of their own but they seem to think it is not a party at all and there is absolutely no fun involved if the other is not present. So, on that note, I doubled them up and they share a date night with me...much to their delight and utter contentment with having me completely to themselves and a late night up with both me and each other. It has been fun and some much needed downtime for me since I tend to go non stop right up until bedtime. But...it also cut deeply into any and all computer time. But I'd rather raise my children and have them know beyond everything in the world that both Brad and I are here for them rather than ever publish my life history 30 years from now. So.....I suppose date nights, total exhaustion and time with Brad are reason enough for my sporadic entries these days.
But I found myself in the middle of utter chaos this morning as realization dawned that today marks the 20 wk milestone. How in the world is that possible???? I am starting to feel her move consistently but it still hasn't seemed to sink in that I'm 1/2 way done. That's actually a really attention getter of a thought. Once again I have nothing ready...as goes the story of my life with the last few pregnancies.....but on the other hand we have everything coming together. We are more orderly and more minimalistic than we have ever been. As Brad and I took on the playroom project a few days ago I was surprised to find that we actually own very few small toys. We are now down to only a bucket full of small cars and baby toys that can be kept within one of the ends of the entertainment center and in the playroom we have only 1 small wooden toy box full of misc items. Other than those we now have the 3 larger than life horses that the children play with daily, the stick horse collection, their large assortment of guns, pistols and rifles in which they play The Lone Ranger, Davy Crockett and John Wayne with, the many fold away camping chairs that are used for anything and everything, the vast array of large Tonka trucks, the parking lot of outside riding cars, bikes and motorcycles we have going, a rubbermaid tote of baby dolls and their clothes and then the air hockey table, which is actually getting used now due to the new a/c in the playroom. The journey from where we started to now is amazing. I think had someone actually tried to tell me 8 years ago that your children could happily survive on these few things alone I would've dismissed them as never having been around active children. Life is good though. I am so thankful for many children and the joy and companionship they bring to each other. I am thankful for incredibly active children that love being outside and that when inside are working and pitching in to make the house run and not sitting idly by watching TV, playing video games or staring at a computer screen. I sat contemplating yesterday just how we make it work since I couldn't really come up with how we transitioned from an overrun play area that drove me to insanity to this...and the children being happier now than they were then. I looked out at them and everyone of them, plus 3 more friends from around town, were jumping and splashing wildly in our little rectangular blow up pool and running and laughing crazily all over the yard trying to outdo each other on Slip n Slide tricks. They bounded from the trampoline to the water area no less than 50 times and both kids and dog were everywhere, running happily around bathed in sunlight, water and activity. Gavin stood looking through the glass door squealing gleefully and jumping up and down at the sight of all of the activity that he will be a part of in all too short of a time. I realized that children just naturally gravitate to whatever it is you give them and provide them to do. They have naturally been propelled more outside due to the limited number of things to do inside now. And when they are inside we utilize that time to get things done so they are constantly in motion and never have time to grow bored from no "indoor" activities or toys. They are doing school work, folding clothes, doing dishes, picking up, cooking, taking trash out and every other thing that makes a house run smoothly with this many people living within it. It is interesting how life has changed and transitioned and our hearts have been moved to minimize and get down to the true simpler things of life. What I found necessary for babies, toddlers and young children 8 years ago has now been changed drastically and our younger ones now just fall quietly...or not so quietly...into their own play world with each other and only a horse under them and pockets stuffed full of little die cast NASCARS and toy guns or they fall into sink right behind their older siblings and whatever it is they are doing.
So...I moved on to contemplate whether we could've lived this way 8 and 10 years ago. Since our younger ones at the time had no one to follow and no other active things going on what would they have done with so very few toys? But I truly think it is completely possible to live life so minimally with only younger children or an only child. Because I have so incredibly come to see, they make out of life what they have. Is giving only 1 or 2 children an entire playroom's worth of toys setting them up to become dependant on "things" and learning to rely on the stuff to make life unboring? I don't know. But I have seen with our younger group that they do not rely on anything to come up with something to do. Aubrey, Garrison and Grant make rock people families out in the shade of the carport while Garrett....well....he sees fit to throw the little families all over the yard, much to the older 3's dismay. They utilize anything and everything and implement it into their play. So..in a way I feel as though I have given the younger ones a gift of imagination that the older ones were somewhat deprived of. If I had ever seen the older 2 playing rock people my 1st thought would have been to want to go run and get some little Fisher Price people to "enhance" their play. I Evye showed an interest in coking I wanted to go buy her a toy kitchen and toy dishes and kitchen equipment. Now...I think in terms of what better way to learn that playing with the real things and learning by cooking with me and actually using them in real food? If they showed an interest in trains then suddenly their world was swamped in toy trains in order to further that interest and learn about what we could from it. I am not against learning about their little interests at all these days. In fact, when one of them shows an interest in something specific right now we utilize the internet. I have yet to make a trip to the big town library but the public library was a huge asset before we moved here and I just haven't ever taken the time to register at San Angelo's yet. We find printable coloring pages and info sheets on the web and then read books about it all. But I have learned now that instead of saturating their worlds in toys for every interest that their rock play, dirt play, stick gun play, sword play, garden play and bus driver play are actually far better than anything I could ever buy them. Granted we did not have a ton of money to buy the older ones tons of things with. But specific toys were always requested for birthdays and holidays and I always felt a little like I was depriving them if they had an interest that we could not "fulfill". How sad it is that American society sets you up in such a way that having "things" and "educational stuff" is the only way that your child or children will ever be highly intelligent and content and the only way that you will ever produce a Baby Einstein...or Einstein at all.
I am more thankful now than ever that our children do not have any idea what Hannah Montana is even remotely about and that they have come to think on their own that the name Bratz is reason enough alone to shun the product. I am thankful that they see advertisements promoting the new cartoons that are newfangled and off enough to take one look and know that they hold nothing of life importance. I dearly love the fact that Grayson and Evye have an intense desire to know the presidents by name, face and date of office. I love that they love geography and long to know each state and country. I love the fact that I have the freedom to teach them curriculum based entirely on world and US history born from looking at these places from a missionary's perspective. I love that they truly know not just who George Mueller, Christopher Columbus, Laura Ingalls Wilder and Gladys Alyward are but what they contributed to world and US history . I love that they will know not just what George Washington Carver did so that they can pass a test but they will know the story of his life and what it took to make him who he became. I treasure that they will take these values, ethics and morals, these role models far into their adult life. I dearly treasure that they are being raised to be able to tell the difference between what will impact your life and what is just time wasted in meaningless hours spent in front of a TV and worthless shows or hours spent in front of video games. I love that Brad and I can teach them what enriches and makes the heart of the Lord happy as they pursue their interest and then what grieves the heart of God as they waste their life away in worthless time consumers to fend off boredom. I love that they play outside endlessly and the boys love to hunt and fish and ride bikes and that they are constantly active. There is not a day that I ever take their activity for granted and that they are constantly running, jumping and swinging from ropes...or the ceiling fans. There is not a day that I ever take their work for granted and the fact that I can teach them how to do a job well and thoroughly....the fact that they do dishes, they fold clothes, they are completely capable of doing wash, emptying dirty clothes baskets, trash, they sweep, vacuum, mop and pick up toys...toys which usually they didn't help string out. I love the fact that even a 2 year old and 3 years olds know what it is to help and that they are heavily involved in the older ones' chores. I love that they are all busy.
So often these days I wonder why so many people stop...so many church going people stop.....at just 1 or 2 or 3 children. I have seen more now than ever that the good stuff doesn't ever really begin to kick in and the rewards start to be reaped until you grow as a parent and your younger children grow and mature as you raise them. I have so incredibly seen that this is an ever evolving life long journey, life changing journey, as we parent and become convicted about certain things and then just learn from other things, past mistakes, watching other parents and working our way through this. So many people stop before it ever really gets good. How sad it is to me that some people will never know this joy and fulfillment that comes with growing with your children. Had we stopped at 2 would we have ever pared down on toys and clutter, things and stuff, expenses and financial splurges? Probably not.....because we would've never needed to. But as we have grown and our family size has grown, our first few children have grown older, we have had to change and mold our way into the new shape we have come to be and that the Lord seeks to shape us into. How much we would've missed. We now have complete and total financial freedom from all but a small amount left on our house. Would we have worked THAT hard to rid ourselves of debt or worked to live within the Lord's will where money and finances are concerned had we not been a little forced and propelled in that direction? Chances are.....no. But we are here and we are free. We have grown and changed over time and the blessing and rewards that are being reaped are unspeakable......and most evident in our very own children.
So....here I sit 20 wks along and quite surprised by this milestone that snuck up upon us. It somehow causes reason to reflect on where we have been and where we are now as I seek to ready the family for our newest arrival. I realize just how far we have come in 10 short years from 1st baby to 8th baby. And I can't help but wonder what the next 10 years hold. To think of Grayson being 20 just hurts the heart. How can this beautiful child that I held and tucked into a crib not so very long ago be so tall and boyish and adult like and be so close to that grown age? How is it that 20 wks can go by so fast and so unnoticed? 20 wks ago Gavin was just a mere 6 months old. Here is he at 11 and we are planning his 1st birthday. 20 mere weeks is so short of a time but yet so much takes place, so much changes....and you never even realize it went by. It seems a bit surreal that I am going from the 1st 20 wks of this pregnancy into the last 20 wks. Time is such a strange and complicated thing.
But I found myself in the middle of utter chaos this morning as realization dawned that today marks the 20 wk milestone. How in the world is that possible???? I am starting to feel her move consistently but it still hasn't seemed to sink in that I'm 1/2 way done. That's actually a really attention getter of a thought. Once again I have nothing ready...as goes the story of my life with the last few pregnancies.....but on the other hand we have everything coming together. We are more orderly and more minimalistic than we have ever been. As Brad and I took on the playroom project a few days ago I was surprised to find that we actually own very few small toys. We are now down to only a bucket full of small cars and baby toys that can be kept within one of the ends of the entertainment center and in the playroom we have only 1 small wooden toy box full of misc items. Other than those we now have the 3 larger than life horses that the children play with daily, the stick horse collection, their large assortment of guns, pistols and rifles in which they play The Lone Ranger, Davy Crockett and John Wayne with, the many fold away camping chairs that are used for anything and everything, the vast array of large Tonka trucks, the parking lot of outside riding cars, bikes and motorcycles we have going, a rubbermaid tote of baby dolls and their clothes and then the air hockey table, which is actually getting used now due to the new a/c in the playroom. The journey from where we started to now is amazing. I think had someone actually tried to tell me 8 years ago that your children could happily survive on these few things alone I would've dismissed them as never having been around active children. Life is good though. I am so thankful for many children and the joy and companionship they bring to each other. I am thankful for incredibly active children that love being outside and that when inside are working and pitching in to make the house run and not sitting idly by watching TV, playing video games or staring at a computer screen. I sat contemplating yesterday just how we make it work since I couldn't really come up with how we transitioned from an overrun play area that drove me to insanity to this...and the children being happier now than they were then. I looked out at them and everyone of them, plus 3 more friends from around town, were jumping and splashing wildly in our little rectangular blow up pool and running and laughing crazily all over the yard trying to outdo each other on Slip n Slide tricks. They bounded from the trampoline to the water area no less than 50 times and both kids and dog were everywhere, running happily around bathed in sunlight, water and activity. Gavin stood looking through the glass door squealing gleefully and jumping up and down at the sight of all of the activity that he will be a part of in all too short of a time. I realized that children just naturally gravitate to whatever it is you give them and provide them to do. They have naturally been propelled more outside due to the limited number of things to do inside now. And when they are inside we utilize that time to get things done so they are constantly in motion and never have time to grow bored from no "indoor" activities or toys. They are doing school work, folding clothes, doing dishes, picking up, cooking, taking trash out and every other thing that makes a house run smoothly with this many people living within it. It is interesting how life has changed and transitioned and our hearts have been moved to minimize and get down to the true simpler things of life. What I found necessary for babies, toddlers and young children 8 years ago has now been changed drastically and our younger ones now just fall quietly...or not so quietly...into their own play world with each other and only a horse under them and pockets stuffed full of little die cast NASCARS and toy guns or they fall into sink right behind their older siblings and whatever it is they are doing.
So...I moved on to contemplate whether we could've lived this way 8 and 10 years ago. Since our younger ones at the time had no one to follow and no other active things going on what would they have done with so very few toys? But I truly think it is completely possible to live life so minimally with only younger children or an only child. Because I have so incredibly come to see, they make out of life what they have. Is giving only 1 or 2 children an entire playroom's worth of toys setting them up to become dependant on "things" and learning to rely on the stuff to make life unboring? I don't know. But I have seen with our younger group that they do not rely on anything to come up with something to do. Aubrey, Garrison and Grant make rock people families out in the shade of the carport while Garrett....well....he sees fit to throw the little families all over the yard, much to the older 3's dismay. They utilize anything and everything and implement it into their play. So..in a way I feel as though I have given the younger ones a gift of imagination that the older ones were somewhat deprived of. If I had ever seen the older 2 playing rock people my 1st thought would have been to want to go run and get some little Fisher Price people to "enhance" their play. I Evye showed an interest in coking I wanted to go buy her a toy kitchen and toy dishes and kitchen equipment. Now...I think in terms of what better way to learn that playing with the real things and learning by cooking with me and actually using them in real food? If they showed an interest in trains then suddenly their world was swamped in toy trains in order to further that interest and learn about what we could from it. I am not against learning about their little interests at all these days. In fact, when one of them shows an interest in something specific right now we utilize the internet. I have yet to make a trip to the big town library but the public library was a huge asset before we moved here and I just haven't ever taken the time to register at San Angelo's yet. We find printable coloring pages and info sheets on the web and then read books about it all. But I have learned now that instead of saturating their worlds in toys for every interest that their rock play, dirt play, stick gun play, sword play, garden play and bus driver play are actually far better than anything I could ever buy them. Granted we did not have a ton of money to buy the older ones tons of things with. But specific toys were always requested for birthdays and holidays and I always felt a little like I was depriving them if they had an interest that we could not "fulfill". How sad it is that American society sets you up in such a way that having "things" and "educational stuff" is the only way that your child or children will ever be highly intelligent and content and the only way that you will ever produce a Baby Einstein...or Einstein at all.
I am more thankful now than ever that our children do not have any idea what Hannah Montana is even remotely about and that they have come to think on their own that the name Bratz is reason enough alone to shun the product. I am thankful that they see advertisements promoting the new cartoons that are newfangled and off enough to take one look and know that they hold nothing of life importance. I dearly love the fact that Grayson and Evye have an intense desire to know the presidents by name, face and date of office. I love that they love geography and long to know each state and country. I love the fact that I have the freedom to teach them curriculum based entirely on world and US history born from looking at these places from a missionary's perspective. I love that they truly know not just who George Mueller, Christopher Columbus, Laura Ingalls Wilder and Gladys Alyward are but what they contributed to world and US history . I love that they will know not just what George Washington Carver did so that they can pass a test but they will know the story of his life and what it took to make him who he became. I treasure that they will take these values, ethics and morals, these role models far into their adult life. I dearly treasure that they are being raised to be able to tell the difference between what will impact your life and what is just time wasted in meaningless hours spent in front of a TV and worthless shows or hours spent in front of video games. I love that Brad and I can teach them what enriches and makes the heart of the Lord happy as they pursue their interest and then what grieves the heart of God as they waste their life away in worthless time consumers to fend off boredom. I love that they play outside endlessly and the boys love to hunt and fish and ride bikes and that they are constantly active. There is not a day that I ever take their activity for granted and that they are constantly running, jumping and swinging from ropes...or the ceiling fans. There is not a day that I ever take their work for granted and the fact that I can teach them how to do a job well and thoroughly....the fact that they do dishes, they fold clothes, they are completely capable of doing wash, emptying dirty clothes baskets, trash, they sweep, vacuum, mop and pick up toys...toys which usually they didn't help string out. I love the fact that even a 2 year old and 3 years olds know what it is to help and that they are heavily involved in the older ones' chores. I love that they are all busy.
So often these days I wonder why so many people stop...so many church going people stop.....at just 1 or 2 or 3 children. I have seen more now than ever that the good stuff doesn't ever really begin to kick in and the rewards start to be reaped until you grow as a parent and your younger children grow and mature as you raise them. I have so incredibly seen that this is an ever evolving life long journey, life changing journey, as we parent and become convicted about certain things and then just learn from other things, past mistakes, watching other parents and working our way through this. So many people stop before it ever really gets good. How sad it is to me that some people will never know this joy and fulfillment that comes with growing with your children. Had we stopped at 2 would we have ever pared down on toys and clutter, things and stuff, expenses and financial splurges? Probably not.....because we would've never needed to. But as we have grown and our family size has grown, our first few children have grown older, we have had to change and mold our way into the new shape we have come to be and that the Lord seeks to shape us into. How much we would've missed. We now have complete and total financial freedom from all but a small amount left on our house. Would we have worked THAT hard to rid ourselves of debt or worked to live within the Lord's will where money and finances are concerned had we not been a little forced and propelled in that direction? Chances are.....no. But we are here and we are free. We have grown and changed over time and the blessing and rewards that are being reaped are unspeakable......and most evident in our very own children.
So....here I sit 20 wks along and quite surprised by this milestone that snuck up upon us. It somehow causes reason to reflect on where we have been and where we are now as I seek to ready the family for our newest arrival. I realize just how far we have come in 10 short years from 1st baby to 8th baby. And I can't help but wonder what the next 10 years hold. To think of Grayson being 20 just hurts the heart. How can this beautiful child that I held and tucked into a crib not so very long ago be so tall and boyish and adult like and be so close to that grown age? How is it that 20 wks can go by so fast and so unnoticed? 20 wks ago Gavin was just a mere 6 months old. Here is he at 11 and we are planning his 1st birthday. 20 mere weeks is so short of a time but yet so much takes place, so much changes....and you never even realize it went by. It seems a bit surreal that I am going from the 1st 20 wks of this pregnancy into the last 20 wks. Time is such a strange and complicated thing.
2 comments:
Nikki, thanks for letting me stop by!! My.... what beautiful eyes your children have :) Sounds like your running a great ship there!!! I saw lots of pics but none of you!!!!! Your children are so wonderful and how exciting with all the boys!!!
Keep in touch,
Cindy
Nikki, I thought and thought about even making this post because sometimes things can be "read into" the written word, whereas in person you are more able to tell a person's perspective because of tone, demeanor, attitude, body language, etc. But after some thinking I realized that we are probably close enough for me to make an entry on your blog with you fully knowing I mean no harm.
With that being said... I'm mostly just curious. Though we are completely and totally "family people", we love all sizes of families, and we love spending time with our families (both immediate and extended), we have purposefully chosen to have just one child. We have very specific reasons, both indvidually and as a married couple, why we wanted just Christian. We have had dreams from the time we got married of having a little girl and the two of us raising her, playing with her, and doing all the wonderful things that we're now getting to do! From the very beginning our thoughts and dreams have centered around a small family. Now we have that! We are quite literally experiencing our dreams right now!
However....as you know, I am fully capable of having children. So here's my question (just to spawn some good conversation)... Am I wrong in choosing NOT to have more?
Okay, well, this IS kind of a loaded question. I mean, from my own perspective, I'm completely right. I just was wondering your thoughts on the topic. Depending on perspective, this could be taken to either extreme, or anywhere in between. I guess there's always the one extreme where people view birth control as a form of abortion, hence promoting large families. I'm not sure I've ever heard of the other extreme where some are most definitely against larger families. Anyway, I love reading your blog and it keeps me up-to-date on all the goings-on with the Bettis Family! I just couldn't help but ask this question as I know you think that it is sad for people who can have children and choose not to. In my own little world, just Paul, Christian, and me, I am quite happy! I experience all the joys, laughs, and tender moments that you do, just with a smaller number.
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