School Days

School is beginning to fall into a routine. By the end of Tuesday's short school day and each subject only taking as long as the new 30 minute rule they got done quickly and I was feeling quite confident. By Wed I was overestimating myself a little and getting a small ego as they worked diligently to get it done and I was able to multitask as I answered a few questions or gave instructions while doing wash, detailing bathrooms, changing diapers, nursing and so on. Pride surely goes before the fall and I was quick to plummet back down to reality as I discovered what the rest of the children do while unsupervised and their older playmates are occupied. An incomplete pictorial documentary of it is available at the bottom of the page......seeing as how that was only what I was able to get pictures of. Unseen is the splashing around of the notorious wooden spoon in the toilet, the boys as they gleefully took turns peeing on the squeaky, rubber, bath bunny now in the toilet too, the orange toothpaste they were snacking on, or the NASCAR and tiny dirt bike Grant stuck in the exhaust pipe of the Suburban yet again......that had to blown out yet again. Life is indeed crazily fun.


Here is just one perfect example of the many time consuming detours that take place in a school day by the older ones. This particular one started from the Roly Poly Olie video about the falling star that the younger ones were watching!!!!


Grayson - "Mom, if stars really fall have any ever hit the earth?"



Me - "No, I don't think so cause they all burn out before they ever get to the earth. We'll have to look falling stars up and learn about them."





"Why? Cause they're all just balls of gas....like huge farts"




Trying to squelch a laugh on my end " Ummmm, no. Definitely not. Cause they're so far away...like billions of miles away it'd take them years to ever get to the earth. That's what "light years" are."



"Light years?"



"Yea....we'll look that up too when we look up shooting stars."



"So, what hits the earth?"



"What?"



"You know, in my World's Record book.....something hit the earth."



"Oh yea.....that's an asteroid, I think."



"What happens to it?"


"It leaves a huge hole in the earth and the asteroid breaks into a million tiny little pieces, I guess."



"Well.......where do all of the big pieces go?"



"They disintegrate when it hits."



"Well, they can't all disintegrate so what happens to all of the really big pieces?"



"I guess they just sit there."



"So don't they move them?"



"No."


"Why?"



"Cause they're too big."



"Why? You said they disintegrate."



"Well, maybe they don't all disintegrate, like you said, and they're just too big to move."



"Are asteroids bigger than the earth?"



"I don't know. Probably."



"Yea....cause the earth's pretty small compared to the moon and sun and some of the other planets."



"Yep."



"Well......what would happen then if it hit the earth? It'd blow it up?""



"Pretty much."



"Has one ever hit it?"



"I guess not one that big."



"Why hasn't one that big hit it?"



"Cause they have different travel patterns than the earth."



"What would happen if one got off its pattern?"



"I guess it'd hit the earth."



"What would happen to all the people?"



"They'd die."



"Why?"



"Well.........cause it blew up the earth. Remember?"


Growing tired of the million question conversation and thinking of the laundry behind me he continues on relentlessly in his pursuit of great solar knowledge "Hey mom? If they're bigger than the earth then why's that picture in my record book that says that's the biggest one to ever hit the earth? If they're bigger than the earth it would have blown it up then."


"Well, I guess that one wasn't bigger. Maybe it was a tiny one. I don't know. Go do some research on it after you're done with spelling."


"Where do asteroids come from?"



"I don't know. Grayson, go do your spelling and stop with the million questions. I don't have a clue. Go look all of this stuff up."



"If they're rocks do they pop off the planets?"



"Maybe. Maybe they're just floating around cause God put them there."



"Well, I don't think He'd just make big rocks and stick them in the solar system with the planets, so they had to come from somewhere."



"Yep."



"If they pop off from planets why haven't I ever seen a rock pop off and get sucked into the solar system?"



"Probably cause that's not the way it happens."



"Oh.....well, then how do they get there?"



"Grayson!!!! I freakin don't know any of this stuff and only a scientist would!!! Now, go do your spelling! You can look it up on the internet when you're done."



Leaning over his spelling book after 2 whole words had been written "Do you think any of the rocks in our driveway are parts of an asteroid?"



"I'm done with the asteroid conversation. Do your spelling."



"OK....but do you think the really gray ones with all of the rough spots are pieces of some?"



"DO YOUR SPELLING!!!! Spell asteroid or the planets or something if it makes you get your spelling done in the near future."











And while we're tied up at the table talking asteroid talk this is what takes place elsewhere in the house. I really do beat my kids for digging into crap...but apparently I either don't do it enough or it just doesn't matter.

Notice the EMPTY Coco Roos sack over by the corner of the bed....and the wooden spoon on the dresser!!! LOL! That thing gets around in our house. I'm still finding small, round, rabbit pellet like cereal in my room. Two fell out of the end of the bed sheets last night. And the bed was made up when they freakin did this. How do kids do that? Oh yes, and I expertly crunched one up in my shoe this morning when I put my foot in.

This would be how they were found after they went mysteriously missing for more than 15 minutes. They thought it was hysterically funny and you can tell.
And this would be their 2nd chosen hideout......with the 1st being my newly organized and spacious closet. And amazingly they can fit 3 of them in here....though one always falls out before I ever can get a pic of it.

This is how his bike came back from PE. Doesn't get much better than this for a boy. He was so proud of his mudding ability that he took all of the pics himself so I didn't get any of him. Just imagine what his clothes looked like and then magnify that times about 10 and you'll have a pretty good picture of what he looked like.

I love homeschooling!!! I am so grateful for the freedom to homeschool. I am so thankful for TX laws and how easy it is and that I have been blessed enough to live in America where we are free to raise our children the way God laid on our hearts. I emailed a woman in Germany that just had twins that made #3 & 4 for her and she longs to homeschool....but both she and her husband would be imprisoned for homeschooling. The country has a record of a child's birthdate and certificate and if they are not enrolled at the given time and year appointed the children are put in foster type care and the parents are imprisoned for no less than 6 months and up to 2-6 years. I cannot imagine. I am so blessed to be free and I am so thankful for the men who continue to fight for our freedom. I don't want to ever take it for granted.

I here the school bell ring down at the school beginning at 7:50 am after the 7:30 breakfast is over and then I here it intermittently all throughout our days. And I look at my beautiful children that surround me and I seethe happiness in their eyes and how healthy they are. NO more sick kids for weeks on end due to never ending sicknesses rampaging their ways through the school, no more sending the children off for the best horus of the day. No more gorgeous days with the perfect fall breeze teasing and beckoning children to come and run while they spend hours cooped up inside school walls. No more lonely little siblings asking incessantly where the older ones are. No more late afternoons and evenings spent huddled at the table for hours on end doing homework. Our day, the same day they plodded through at the school, was over with in only 4 hours. History is spent curled up on the couch during the quiet, napping hours for the little ones while we read Christopher Columbus' biography as the cool fall breeze blows through the open windows. No more wondering if they're by a window at school and able to watch the most beautiful God created thunderstorms blow over. We were able to put the school books aside and watch the lightening show and run around under the tin to listen to the drum of pouring rain and foreboding thunder, laughing as they watched Garrett discover it all for what seems like the 1st time. Happy fulfilled children as they bring lizards, geckos, frogs and worms in to study and make habitats for. Learning what it is to care for and take into consideration the younger curious ones crowded around their older brothers' or sisters' discoveries. I can't imagine it any other way. I can't imagine ever being anymore blessed than we are right now with our children...our freedom....our lives.

Back to School

Great is the peace of my children for they are taught of the Lord.

Is. 54:13

I am quite sure that God sneakily added 10 extra hours to the already long 24 hr period. And one would think this would be the greatest answer to the many prayers the world has endlessly prayed for more hours in a day. But, no.....it is my worst nightmare since I am sure I have now been up all all 96 hours of this new day. It doesn't ever end. And it's still going.

After the big party was finally over and the week long preparation for it came to an end we hit the school books for the 1st time this school year. I wanted to start the Tues after Labor Day but then we had the party coming so I decided to hold off until that was over and start today, Monday the 10th. Like Superwoman I overcame myself and rose at the crack of dawn yet again, my new daily routine, and was up at 5 freakin 30. I've figured out that when it's still dark outside that is God saying you still need to be sleeping......and it was very very dark. Not even one glimmer or a hope of a ray of the sunrise in the near future. With Brad home I held off doing my devotional time until he left. By then Grayson was so excited about school he had risen at 6:30 and Grant was soon to follow. And when Grayson's awake he is talking..........all the time....and he never stops until he's back in bed asleep. So, after being completely ready with makeup on, dressed and all at 6:30 I finally said good-bye to Brad and he left for work and then I went to wake the others at 7. I got them situated and got their routine going and at 8 was off to have my quiet time and a much needed prayer start to the day that awaited. As excited as we all were to start the new year I still have some great measurable feelings of doubt and discouragement to overcome where homeschooling is concerned since our efforts have been so beaten down by Grayson's dyslexia. And now, with them having been in public school I have that hanging over my head too since I feel the need to provide them with every curricular experience and routine they had there. I know in my previous homeschooling wisdom it will never in a lifetime happen but I still have all of the "subjects" to conquer hanging over my head.

So, I prayed in my room in the quiet.........come to think of it, in the too quiet. All was running way too well when Grant's screams split the air....the maddening deafening screams of an irate 2 year old. Knowing it was nothing life threatening I shut the door and figured they'd all work it out......or more appropriately put, fight it out. Then quietly there was a soft little knock on the door, "Hey, Mom? You can keep praying but I just thought I needed to tell you that they spilled the tea in the frig and all over the floor......but I'll clean it up." And one should know that when Brad makes tea he basically adds a few cups of brewed water to a few quarts of sugar. I sighed and told Grayson it was ok and we could both clean it up since it would be a sticky mess. Soooooooo, sticky mess doesn't even come close to what faced me in the kitchen floor........and frig..........and rug..........and everywhere else 4 sets of small feet could track it or splash in it. I set to work determined to maintain my good outlook on the day. But the more I cleaned and wiped and scrubbed and mopped and paper toweled the madder I got. The bottom drawer of the frig was submersed in sugar tea. Everything within the drawer was submersed in sugar tea. And of course, everything near it was splattered with it all. It took mopping it 4 times to get it all up and even now you can go in there and stick to any given area of the floor at any given moment. And I must note that by this time I'd been up for 4 hrs. I haven't quite made up my mind what's worse........waking up to it or dealing with it when I'm sleep deprived....due to my own faulty nature of going to bed at midnight or 1 am and waking at 5:30.

So, being the scheduled routine person that I am and hating to deviate from it at all, I started getting irritated since the schedule said we needed to start at 9. I was done cleaning up by 8:40 and was determined not to be deterred from my alone prayer time. The children and I start the school day with a Bible story, character devotion, quoting their Scripture verse of the week and then praying but I need to pray alone and for them and the other needs laid on my heart before we ever start. So, I went back to the room to finish.

At 9 we started our day. I gated the boys up in their room with a bucket of "school" toys and they screamed appropriately. As anyone knows trying to reason with 2 hysterical toddlers is pretty much not only in vain but just sheer stupidity on the part of the parent. So, looking into 2 sets of swollen, teary eyes I gave instructions to play quietly in the living area. That worked for all of 5 minutes. And then I have Aubrey to teach this year also. Aubrey, being quite the different bird that she is, had her own "way" of doing school work. Though she knows every color and shape she adamantly refused to do things in her book the way any compliant student would. The colors before her were refused and with pencil in hand she set to work on her page. I stared in horror as I tried to chill out and think of all of her original, unique creativity that she is using. She'd turn a page, name the color and shape, point out the correct answers and then proceed with hundreds of pencil squigglies over her now completed page in her brand new book. I finally gave up messing with her and figured she's only 4 and shouldn't even be in school anyway. Then I went on in my mental soap box mentality and got mad all over again that they even put 4 year olds in school anyway. It's basically a free public babysitting service. If we had enrolled her she would be going to school at the age of 4 from 7:30 am to 4 pm everyday with the older ones, watching movies for 2 hrs of it and taking a nap for 2 hrs of it. So, anything at home is better than what she would be faced with up there. At least she is happily playing with and creating imaginary worlds with Garrison and Grant. Soooooooo.........maybe the alphabet isn't quite the priority that is was at 6 am this morning. I saved my energy and decided to use it for the "special" reading slot I had in mind for her each day where I spend time with only her as I teach her how to read......yep, that would be the same reading slot that I never got around to.

With her just penciling happily I moved on to help Grayson and Evye tackle their work. They loved the books but also soon loved hanging upside down from their chairs, throwing pencils at each other in fits of hysterical laughter, popping them off the table to see how far they could get them to go, farting obnoxiously and then going into fits of giggles as they discussed the quality of smell that now surrounded them and so on. By noon I was tired of their farting around....quite literally.....and was growing frustrated. Still they lagged and slowly plodded on. By 3 I was downright mad and quite determined to finish the day and by 5 I was so irritated that I made up my mind they were going to finish the day come hell or high water. At 5 they set to work on the chores that awaited them that were supposed to have been done at 1 after school ended. They laid all over the couch and played and wrestled, successfully dumping all of the clean clothes that were waiting to be folded out onto the floor and now freed up even more room to wrestle and roll. I fixed dinner and Brad breezed in from work and out yet again for a council meeting. And the children still folded. By 6 they were done after alot of yelling on my part and I knew there was no way we were going to forgo any part of the day due to their 2 second attention span and apathetic ways. So, instead of the waiting dinner I sent them out the door to do PE as that was the next thing to be accomplished on their schedule list. Can we insert the word anal retentative here????? Evye's bike ended up locking up due to the mud on the school track so I sent them across the street to run the church steps...........and run they did. Aubrey happily went with them and for 30 minutes they stair stepped. It was funny watching them.....although I couldn't help but think that seriously needed to be me out there running my butt off...........quite literally. By this time I was falling asleep on the couch as I nursed Gavin. I dozed off in my state of utter sleep deprivation only to discover when I snapped out of it a very quiet vacant house and Garrison, Grant and Garrett nowhere to be found. Like a case of bad babysitter turned parent I went ridiculously looking for them. And of course they were found across the street on the church steps gleefully running along in their underwear...despite the fact I really do dress my chidlren in the mornings......with the older ones. Oh well, at least they expended some pent up energy.

By 7 I was half dead and just ready for everybody to go to bed so I could sleep. I think the most pathetic part about this is that Gavin has now been sleeping through the night for 3 weeks now!! So, I have only myself to blame for my little sleep deprivation and irritable issues. Oh.....and my anal retentiveness to stay organized and on a schedule....that may have factored into the frustration level. I definitely never planned on a 10 hr school day. Tomorrow, I have decided, there is only 30 minutes allowed p/ subject....whatever is left has then become homework and we'll see how that works. Maybe that'll cure the never ending school day.

They didn't make into bed until 9 and were not asleep until 9:30 and we're supposed to rise again tomorrow before even the town roosters are awake and do this all over again. It seems the only time I ever sat today was to nurse and school. Whoever dared say motherhood is not a real profession has not lived the day I just lived and has not tried to teach classification to an air headed 2nd grader or tried to convince a 9 year old that he really has not regressed to a horrifying 2nd grade level since he doesn't remember the division he left off with in May. I have worked and been on my feet since 5:30 this morning and it is now nearing 11 pm. I am really ready for bed.

Today

.........was the annual Everybody Birthday Party. I've spent the whole entire week away from the computer and getting ready for it. We hosted it here and Jackie and Curtis and their children and Daddy and Scott all drove in for it and then Mother came too along with helping prepare for the whole event beforehand. It was one of the most amazing, memorable days ever. A day that truly comes only once every so often......maybe even once in a lifetime. After all of the years and all of the heartache and all of the tears that have been shed.....wept......over the mess that it all is, it seems God comes. And when He comes the work is so much more complete than what a mortal man could ever be capable of in a lifetime. A work that will bring you to your knees at the feet of Him and will bring you to tears for weeks after the fact just at the thought of it. Oh, how I have missed them. I have missed the unity, the friendship, the joy of Jackie and Curtis and the wholeness of being a real family between the five of us and our families. There are no words.

I miss Jackie and I loading the children up for park days and our spontaneous lunches. If I think about it too much I'll start crying right along with the sobbing Evye that lays in the bed behind me crying her little heart out....and has been for the last 2 hours. She still cries brokenheartedly at the parting of Milly and Mercy. Grayson went to bed begging and pleading for a definite date that everyone could reunite. As they left tears were shed by the majority of the younger ones. It was an incredible day...a peaceful day....yes, entirely peaceful with all 15 kids.

When God moves there truly are no words. Only He is capable of healing such a torn, jagged, emotionally drained family. I've never witnessed forgiveness and healing in action....something so complete that the pretenses are dropped and everyone presses on in an effort to move forward and forget the awfulness of the past. The point where everyone lays down their rights to stay angry just in order to love the other. Only the Lord is capable of moving so many mountains at the same time in so many lives, unknowingly to the others involved. It has been such a separate action in each life that is affected, and then we have all been brought together at the appointed time in order that healing and a new beginning can finally take place. Maybe this is the beginning of something new....maybe this is starting over. Just maybe.

I'll write more when I can think through it all. And pictures will follow, as I forgot to take any and Daddy did all of the picture taking.

Aging and Wedded Bliss

It always seems so fast when you actually take a minute to think about it. How in the world can I be 32 and have we really been married 8 years today? It seems like we were never apart, never lived separate lives........and then sometimes it seems like this can't be us with 7 children in 8 years of marriage. In some ways it was just yesterday that Scott and I stayed up late cooking Tuna Helper and Otis Spunkmeyer's until 2 am laughing at anything and everything. Making our 2 am trips to Kroger to look through magazines.

Saturday, the 1st, I turned 32. I keep losing track. My head seemed to have gotten stuck somewhere around 26. I know I should be in my 30's but somehow I can never remember just where I am in my 30's. Pathetic, I know. I swore up and down to Brad that I was turning 31 this year but he was quick to correct and attempted to enlighten me that I would hit 32. I'd like to blame my failing memory on kids having warped my brain.....but I think I pretty much warped it before they ever got around to it. I couldn't even remember how old I was when I was 26. And then it seemed I finally had it all figured out right as I turned 28. So, I wouldn't believe Brad as he tried so very hard to convince me I was turning 32 so he finally just told me to figure it up....1975 to 2007. Ok.........so I finally arrived at 32 after an absurd amount of minutes figuring it up. And, yes, I am homeschooling my children...........scary.....I know. But, it's not just my age....it's his too. I can't ever even remember how old he is or will be. What does it really matter anyway? We're here and loving the life we live. We're not so old that we're decrepit and we're not so young that we're stupid....for the most part. We're here in the middle and it's wonderful.

And here we are on Labor Day, September 3rd, celebrating 8 years of marriage. We both were talking this morning and looking back over the last 8 years and how far we've come. It seems surreal. We started in a tiny, 800 sq ft, 2 bedroom apt that left much to be desired...but we were happy and ecstatically in love. In those 8 yrs we graduated up to an 1,100 sq ft apt that still left much to be desired and then finally made the move to a house with family lovingly helping us get there. We lived in a pretty perfect world and were more in love than the day we were when we married. A good job, a typical American home in the suburbs of USA and 3 children. Then came what would forever test the limits of us all. The death of Ben, the loss of his job and the situation that surrounded it, a very unplanned pregnancy and the even more unplanned for surprise of twins and getting through that year. One year later, one month before our 5 year anniversary, he was hired and we began the walk down the traumatic road that commuting became. 2 long, seemingly unending years, ticked by as he kept a 10 day gone 3 day home schedule. Garrison and Grant arrived and lived their first 2 years during his commute and then the knowledge 9 months after their birth that we would again be parents and then continue to give birth once more during the commuting years. Over the course of time many tears were shed by both of us and we continued falling more and more in love and enduring the pain and endless torture that life seemed to have become. And here we are today celebrating not only 8 years of marriage but the end of those 2 years of testing. Exactly 1 year ago today we celebrated our 7th anniversary as we drove U-Hauls and everything else down here and left everything we had ever known to start our lives here as a family once more. Upon spending 24/7 together after 2 yrs of never seeing each other it definitely came as no surprise when we discovered the pregnancy of Gavin. And though life is far from over it's a pretty happy ending for now.

We are desperately in love with each other and have 7 incredible, beautiful children as an added blessing for the years we have shared and for the blessed life that we live. How much more could we be given? The hurdles still come, and sometimes they seem huge even still, but we have never been more capable of dealing with them and we have never in our life had as much faith and hope as we do now. Our marriage has never been stronger and we undoubtedly have never been as in love as we are right now. If it's this wonderful after only 8 short years how much more will it be after 50 years? Maybe 42 years from now and 20 kids later we'll be surrounded by 10o's of grandkids and great grandkids and we'll tell our life story and leave a legacy for the generations. Maybe our love, our life, our story will live on in the generations to come. And we'll sit on our front porch overlooking the hills and holding hands in our old age watching what God created through our lives together and the ever growing, undying love that He gave us for each other. We'll marvel over the miracle that it all is......just as we do today. The miracle that it was when we found each other, the miracle that it is right now 8 years later and the miracle that it will be then.

We are so very blessed.

Happy 7th Birthday Sweet Evye!!!!

August 29

It's so very hard to believe sometimes that children grow up so very very fast. It seems like literally yesterday....we're all glad it wasn't yesterday......that she was born. We were so anxious to get her here that we stupidly tried to induce one week early. When that attempt failed and I was sent home from the hospital we again tried the following Monday. After a very long 12 hrs of induced labor she was born at 10 that night. She weighed only 6'14, after having had Grayson 2 yrs earlier weighing 9 pds. It was such an incredible feeling to be holding a little girl and wondering what in the world life would be like with 2 children. I remember wondering how in the world I'd ever manage to do a little girl's hair. That was one of my biggest worries! I still haven't managed to get the art of french braiding down but her hair has been coiffed elaborately on several occasions by.......me!

I love what she is to our family and what she is becoming. I love the fact that she loves to cook and has such a desire to sew and be creative. The two of us are very different in the creativity that God has given us but it is such a blessing to watch all of these different personalities and gifts come to life in each of the children. Aubrey is much more like me and is the stubborn, very outspoken firecracker that I was when I was younger. But sweet Evye is so much more subdued and a little girl in love with everything in life that is pretty and pink. When she was born I never knew how I'd ever manage to raise a girly girl, seeing as how I was the very farthest thing from that, but here we are and I find that I love to indulge her and dress her up to be entirely feminine. I love that about her....maybe because I see in her what I never was. I love that she is tall and slender and is so elegant at even such a young age....despite her recent growth spurt tripping her up a little....literally. I love her clear honest, blue eyes. I love the freckles across her nose and cheeks. I love how genuine she is and how she just loves to be touched and appreciated. I love her creativity and how incredibly smart she is. I love the fact that she is the one God gave us.

She is so sweet and so willing to please. It devastates her to think that she may have hurt anyone's feelings in any way. I love how she is such a natural little mother and so very full of overflowing love to the younger ones. She and Garrett have a relationship that is quite different from any of the other's. He adores her and she adores him in every way.

She is so beautiful on the inside and out. I look forward to all of the the years to come with her and to see what God's plan is for her life. I look forward to watching her grow into an elegant lady with poise, graciousness and kindness as some of her biggest character qualities.

We are so very overwhelmed by God's love and mercy to have been blessed with each one of these children in our life. I cannot imagine life without any of them. I cannot imagine life without Evye.

Redneck Rodeo

Well, the day started normal...but then normal is always pretty relative when you have 15 kids and a freakin menagerie to care for......but by 12:00 pm I am quite sure that both Brad and I could have sold off every animal we own and put every kid we have to bed for at least a month and been fine with it. Come to think of it we might just would've waved as the animals went and stocked a 2,000 gallon tank with Benadryl for everyone's sedation and sent everybody back to bed.

So, let me give a brief...or not so brief.....rendition of the day we have lived out so far.

The alarm went off at 7 since I have now made it my mission in life to beat the children out of bed and actually feel like I do something really meaningful in the mornings for them. I envision hot pancakes and steaming coffee...even though we have never in our lives drunk coffee.......and cold juice and milk on the table every morning for the entire clan. But as every morning, the war waged heavily between the clock and I. It won....like it does almost every morning. So at 8 when I could no longer ignore the persistent kids and hold them off with Nutrigrain bars, opened with closed eyes, I sleepily drug my butt out of bed. Brad found it hard fighting the battle too so after 15 minutes of tons of kids rolling all over us we finally headed off to go through the morning routine of cereal, Nutrigrain bars, oatmeal, chocolate and strawberry milk and every other instant thing in life with immediate gratification and very little work. The children were, of course, much more full of energy and life than we were at this point since the not-so-morning person in me lives on for awhile. They'd already been out at the crack of dawn running around in their underwear and pajamas like a whole bunch of little unsupervised orphans. So, in their orphan like state they discovered Walker, the goat, half dead. They come in with some animal crisis about every other hour of every day....a roadrunner fell out of the tin, a hummingbird is stuck in the shop, a baby bird's on the pavement, one or both dogs puked, a bird chirped weird, the donkey sounds hoarse, a rabbit pooped wrong, a turtle croaked like a frog, the rooster barked, the cat laid an egg, etc. So, I didn't think much of the goat issue. But they continued on and were so insistent that Brad went to check it out. That was only the beginning.


The goat was indeed dying so the morning activity began. Clothes were hurriedly thrown on, calls were made, neighbors came, dogs barked and children were everywhere. With a worm diagnosis finally made Brad took off for Ballinger with Aubrey as company....since she'd had no less than 5 melt downs due to being told she was not going and her whole world then falling apart over and again every time somebody even dared look at her. The needed meds were purchased and a stop by the vet was made to get details on the care for the others. They arrived home and the medicine was given to all while I put Garrett in the tub. In the chaos he had managed to fingerpaint himself and the majority of the walls with an almost empty yogurt cup he'd retrieved out of the trash and then continued on eating a banana peel. After discovering it tasted less than wonderful other uses apparently came to mind as he squished it in between his toes. Oh....we can't leave out the stale hard wienie he found under the highchair that he was gagging down that conveniently came back up with most of breakfast......puked expertly on top of the crushed up goldfish all over the kitchen floor......the ones that had been amusingly thrown off his highchair and trampled by everyone else in their hurried morning activity. As I cleaned up the floor mess while he played Garrison and Grant, unbeknownst to me, decided to join him in the tub.


Brad called for my help saying the goats had to be driven into the other pasture. He had the truck and Suburban blocking the opening and needed everyone else plugging up the holes in between the vehicles. He was quite adamant that we would not be chasing goats around town ever again. I ran out the door with strict instructions for Evye to stay with the boys in the tub. After some time of Grayson and Brad ridiculously chasing goats around the middle pasture the goats finally headed into the designated new one with Fletch.....after Brad successfully managed to rope the stubborn one, as he is now the roping king after hours of practice at the station roping traffic cones due to way too much time on his hands. I went back in to tend to the boys only to discover they'd emptied both of the last bottles of shampoo and the only bottle of baby wash out into the tub "to make bubbles, mama". It smelled good though!


Mother arrived around then on her lunch break so I talked to her for awhile as news came from Brad that Walker had indeed died and didn't pull through like the children had prayed for. Now the lengthy explanation of why God doesn't answer prayers sometimes. Brad went to go dump the dead goat and a few minutes later Grayson and Evye ran in saying Fletch was after the little goats. Good freakin grief! Evye, once again, was charged with manning the bathroom chaos while Mother and I went out to deal with the donkey vs goat war. Fletch, being a very smart stupid donkey, knew the rope well and eluded all capture. So, we stayed at the gate waiting on Brad to get home and keeping Fletch away from the remaining goats....seeing as how we'd already managed to kill one off by not deworming them.



I'm not exactly quite sure what Evye was thinking as she watched and supervised the boys bucketing out the entire tub full of water onto the floor but somewhere in her Evye head she "watched' them as instructed......just watched them pour out the entire freakin tub onto the tile. So, Mother left about the time I swam into the bathroom. It took the entire Bed Bath and Beyond warehouse to clean it all up. After donning my swamp gear I waded into the bathroom stepping on a still saturated water laden floor to bathe Garrett. By this time I was quite ok with Garrison and Grant leaving the tub unwashed, despite the fact Grant still had pink yogurt glued behind his ear and stuck in his hair. At least they weren't going to be gleefully pouring anymore water out of the tub....not that there was any left to pour out at this point. With Garrett screaming in his past due nap exhaustion and Gavin screaming hungrily in his swing we had a chorus of lovely music between the 2 of them and the 2 kids still crying on their bed. Brad arrived home from dumping the goat and he and Grayson set to work getting Fletch into the other pasture away from the remaining goats. As I lotioned Garret I looked out the window only to see Fletch running down the driveway.......and then hear Brad's diesel engine fire up. I could only laugh at this point. A few seconds later Brad's truck flew down the driveway. He was already mad about the whole day but I knew at this point he was pretty much irate. Seeing as how he was doing 60 mph down the driveway I surmised that his outlook probably wasn't the best at this point. I went on tending to Garrett and tried to squelch the hysterical laughter, now bordering on insanity, that I felt about the donkey now running around town. Long.......very long........minutes passed and no one returned. Evye rang the doorbell and had run home from their donkey rodeo to say that Fletch was now at the park. I looked down the street to see the speck of Fletch grazing and all to wisely eluding capture as Brad walked along side him. The whole thing just made me laugh.



Brad called from his cell phone to tell me to go move the Suburban....the one that had been parked there to keep the said donkey and goats from escaping into town.......cause he was on the run towards home. I ran out to see Grayson running him home with Brad, once again in his life, rounding a wayward animal home with his truck. I jumped in the Suburban and drove through the neighbors yard to block a potential dart down the street and get him running down the driveway. It worked...at least for a minute.....as he ran down the driveway...only to run into the neighbors yard that I had just driven through. So, I backed up and attempted to block him in with Brad behind in his truck and me in front in the Suburban. I think the town loves us being here just for sheer entertainment purposes. In the time that we have lived here we manage to chase every one of our animals around town at least once a month.



So, Fletch goes back on the run darting in and out of our driveway and the neighbors yard. Finally, he manages to escape into Mrs. McKinney's pasture....2 houses down. So, a little frustrated and feeling like a fool I throw it into reverse and aim for the wide hole in the fence. Driving no less than 30 mph in reverse I then managed to successfully run over the portion of barbfreakinwire laying on the ground with both back tires to round out the day. After running over that I plowed over 4 boulders.....seeing as how in my shock over having hit the barbwire I only pressed the accelerator harder. I got out hurriedly checked it over to make sure I wasn't going to drive on a flat and then hopped back in to continue our insanity. We finally got him headed in the right direction and he ran his stupid ass into the gated pasture and the gate was closed behind him. I got out again and tried to refrain from telling Brad about the whole little barbwire/boulder incident but he saw me checking it out and asked, of course, what I was looking at. I coughed it up and he knelt to listen for air pouring out. Miraculously there was none at that point. I'm a little cautious of going back out to look again and see what's taken place in the last few hours.



We all came in for a quick lunch and then Brad left for work at Mr Martin's. I tried to recoup from the day and clean up the disaster zone that the house had become. Unsupervised toddlers are less than kind to a house. And then after 4 wks of Aubrey sleeping on a little fold out bed, due to having moved her bed out and waiting on the new one, the deputy finally calls and said she's ready for the new bed to be picked up....and today would not be too soon. Oh my freakin gosh! Can I just sit still for a minute and not think and not move? So, with it nearing 4:00 I call Brad to let him know, call Mother to ask to use her truck since Brad's got the welder in his and start getting everybody ready to go. They both arrived at 5 and took off with some of the children to get the bed. I started dinner and, in between doing that, tried to ready the room for the new bed.......the room that had been perfectly vacuumed and ready for it 4 wks ago but was not prepared at all for it today. They got back with bed in tow and began moving Evye's bed out and the new bed in. As I fought off starved children in the kitchen Brad worked on getting the bed together while fighting off rowdy kids hanging from the ceiling fan in the bedroom. With that project finally completed and dinner ready we sat down for a quick dinner and then I went on a scavenger hunt to find the sheets for the new full size bunk. After 1/2 an hour of trying to locate those and playing fruit basket turnover with the children's new sleeping arrangements everybody was put to bed for the night.


And here I am nursing a baby....like I've done every 3 hrs throughout this whole entire day.... and now headed to bed....if the house doesn't blow up before then.



The only pictures I managed to get all day.

Mission Accomplished.....and other random pictures

The closet is now completed. I don't think I've ever felt better or more in control of my life. It's absolutely amazing to me what sheer junk and clutter do to your overall quality of life. It makes me crazy. There is such a peace in my life now knowing my closet is clean. And no skeletons ever came out of it either! And the organization process is pretty contagious. Each of the children have a cubby in the top of their one closet. It allows them to keep their personal stuff put up that is dangerous for the little ones....ie. for Grayson guns, bullets, knives, targets that can easily be destroyed and ripped into shreds by little hands, his disgusting collection of rattlesnake rattles, etc. Evye's contains jewelry that can be easily broken..in which 1/2 of it already is, makeup that hasn't already been eaten or used to repaint the walls, and favorite stuff she wants to keep to herself and save for naptimes, etc. For Aubrey she has her own little jewelry box she wants to keep up like Evye's and lipstick tubes that have been completely eaten. The boys share a cubby for now and I keep some of their misc items up there. Anyway, Grayson got the neat gene and the closet project was completely contagious and he went to work on his cubby. He spent an entire day on it. It was so sweet and I loved the fact my closet actions set a good example for them. Evye....well let's just say she didn't inherit anything close to an organizational gene or the remote desire to ever establish one. So, her cubby still looks like a big bottle of Pepto-Bismol spilled haphazardly into a green crate. We're working on establishing motivation for maintaining details in life. So far, it's not looking too promising. At least she's finally gotten really good at picking up stuff and keeping their room decent and she's a pro at making beds. And Aubrey's still young enough she just loves anything project oriented so she got ahold of her cubby and "organized" moving her pile of broken jewelry and eaten makeup from one side of the cubby to the other. Mission accomplished for her!

So, here are my humbling before pics and very fulfilling after pics.



Before doorway view





After doorway view




Before of Brad's side





After of Brad's side
Oops....stay tuned for after pics. Forgot this angle.



Before of my side







After of my side (from inside the closet looking towards the door. I don't have the patience to go take a pic right now from the same perspective of the 1st pic)





Before shelves






After shelves









Before top of shelves







After top of shelves




Before bottom of shelves and floor













After bottom of shelves and floor





Before top shelf on my side




After top shelf on my side







Before middle shelf on Brad's side




After middle shelf on Brad's side



Closet cleaning is fun! All kinds of little jewels were discovered. Who knows where the pairs are...but then who cares when you found you're two favorite things ever...puppies and race cars.






More jewels discovered........"New" shoes are fun......even more fun in the nude.






Gavin's 1st camera smiles!!!! I was about ready to trade him in for a non-fussy model but within the last week or so he has finally adjusted to life and is a complete joy. He's sleeping through most of the nights and finally just loves to snuggle instead of being so restless. And he's arrived at utter contentment with life. He's been sleeping in the swing since that's the only place he's been happy but last night he slept curled all warm and soft in between Brad and I. I loved having him cuddled up right next to me all night. How in the world can I be so in love with this little bald miracle I've only known for 6 weeks? The one I've carried for so long but never touched. The one I've dreamed of for so long but never seen before a mere 6 wks ago. How is it possible to love so much?













City council meeting. What's a car?



Sunset in heaven






Alright, and for the new section "Today's Mess". I really do watch my kids....some of the time.


Monday's Mess (lotion)




Tuesday's Mess (Fruity O's...or more commonly known as Fruit Loops)




Friday's Mess (As for Aubrey, I guess she was a little thirsty or something? Or maybe it's just fun licking bacterial infested surfaces.)

Building Cathedrals

I read this today. It is my heart's desire and my life's work to build 7......or more......cathedrals.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going she's going......she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this."It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become, for me, four life-changing truths after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it."And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Nikki. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.