The Story of a Lifetime: Deep in the Heart of Texas

1,700 miles away.....lies a little house on the prairie. And it used to be home....and in some way always will be. How my heart misses this place. Radio plays lilting melody, sweet lyrics..."I'll be home for Christmas if only in my dreams"....and my heart wanders....home. As we celebrate Christmas here, practice old traditions, set new ones, far away from all family and old friends I see our little house that sits on 3 acres where children were conceived, born, grew and played. They hunted, they trapped, they shot, chickens, cats, dogs, horses, donkeys, goats. Tiny west Texas town, everyone knew us, we knew everyone. And for but a moment I allow myself to miss it. I let thoughts, sentimental in every regard, return and remember everything we left behind. The learned art...disciplined act of not looking back again... laid down on this cold Christmas Eve. Quiet house, walls inhale, exhale with the rhythmic breaths they each take. Trees, silver and bare, graceful as they dance in their nakedness, sway in the wind beyond. They whisper of Christmases past, Christmas present, and all the ones to come. And I ponder where we are in life, how far we've come from this very moment 12 months ago.... giving away the last 50.00 to our name....to this place of abundance...presents for children, abundant food, so much to give and not just take. We watch their faces as we pray. We teach and we remind them of the words we have so come to intimately understand....words we all know by heart...."I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Ph 4:12. And I just stand in awe of our life, what God has done and the lengths to which He has taken us to show His love, His mercy and teach us lessons no one just ever willingly signs up for and wants to learn. And as thankful as I am to be here and have been brought 1700 miles away from home to know what we know now and understand to such greater depths.....I ponder how I can miss it so much.

It's a constant effort to not grow angry....even still. To know that our tiny little dream now sits 16,000 below the price for which we bought it and another 15,000 that is not even reflected of what all we put into it....tankless water heater, water softener, hard floors, massive brand new a/c and heater, transitioning it all over to gas....everything. Things, material comforts and conveniences I yearn for here. And it sits in a tiny Texas town. And we're here....in a concrete jungle....where property lines, fences and people abound. And sometimes I just kinda miss it.....and I still wanna go home....where prairie winds blow, stars are by the millions, lightening shows far exceed the most elaborate fireworks exhibition and the thunder rolls across sky for hundreds of miles.

That being said, I know we've been brought here for a reason. Our children, each and every one of them, given supernatural favor and superbly loved by so many. How surrounded we are in this place, how loved our family has become, how easy the people are to love here. Oldest excels in biking, scouts, hiking, camping. He lives outdoors and is loved and favored by all. Friendships abound, and he flourishes in this land. Girls compete in sports, surrounded by friends and coaches, loved by so very many, favor given in every area. Little boys join scouts and follow in uncle's and big brother's footsteps as they begin their personal journeys to Eagle. Jiu jitsuing husband continues to rank up under one of the most respected teachers in the region, teaching and training children as he goes. We have access to one of the most elite Y's in the area. Children all rock climb, swim, run track, meet friends to do it all together. They flourish here and we have been given relationships that far outweigh anything in life we have ever known.

And I know this place in life is a good one. Children and husband are all happy and they each flourish in their own individual strengths and help each other in their weaknesses...encouraging, pushing, motivating and staying active. Life beyond chickens and the coop. Homeschool group, field trips, co-op...life, church, activity, community. The introvert misses the simplicity, the obscurity, the quiet. Sharing lone Texas highways with cattle ranchers and cotton farmers. But even in looking back I've reached a place of contentment here. We're here for such a time and place as this. I don't know how long we'll be in our little house buried down in the forest but I do know we've been chosen for this job, to lay ourselves down....and in growing in this place we have learned to improvise, adapt and overcome...to not only make the best of it all but to flourish here....to live simply, to live with purpose, to possess only what we need. Memories made in tiny spaces, bonded by what we have overcome as a family and all that we know we are capable when called to rise above, to live closely together as both family and friends....unity that can only come from walking the road we've walked and our children learning these principles early in life. And in learning the often painful act of continually overcoming self we have been given the ability to speak into another man's life...to possibly change his life, and perhaps that of his family's, forever. Maybe we came 1700 miles just to paint 1500 sq ft of walls, replace every sq ft of flooring, fix some toilets, replace some windows, mount some ceiling fans, replace a dishwasher and stove, install some shelving, and put many, many man hours into a forested, overgrown yard....to make all the ugly into some form of beautiful...to give a man hope that had none. Maybe we've been brought here to grow, to learn kindness, to learn the act of absolute selflessness when all of flesh screams otherwise, to show mercy and grace like what we have been given in life, to expand children's worlds, to give back a small portion of all that we have been given. Maybe we've been brought here for all of that...and more. And maybe in 10 years when black belt has been achieved and Eagle has been earned for many scouting sons we'll move on to snowy, mountainy Colorado where wide open spaces and cattle ranches still exist. Or maybe we'll just go home and settle in the Austin hill country close to friends and family...or maybe we'll just stay put, having laid years of roots here within our lives and that of our children's. Who knows. But I do know on this Christmas Eve, as blustery winds blow in a bitter, cold front across the plains of Texas....I just still kinda miss home....and it's ok to miss it sometimes.

When thoughts turn homeward...

Early Christmas morning fun. We celebrate this holiday and shift husband's first full 96 off since beginning work for the county last March, almost 10 months ago. In an effort to enjoy it to its fullest we opted to finish up to-do list Sat, celebrate Christmas Sunday, and spend remaining 2 days, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, just enjoying children and time together with gift opening, clean up and all assembly already done. Christmas Day, last day of 96, will be spent playing games, eating good food and just down time together as an entire family. With games like Mad Gab, Taboo, Pictionary and the like there will be lots of laughs and lots of memories made on a day full of food, fun and nothing but each other and the entire reason for Christmas to celebrate.

We also celebrate the 14 week milestone today. Since losing our baby boy at 14 weeks this has now become one of the biggest milestones to hit. And while I know so well that one is never fully guaranteed anything in life...reaching this week in pregnancy has become a sacred point. So, as we celebrate so many things in life this week we also celebrate a sweet growing baby...and 14 weeks of pregnancy!

Trampoline assembly party. We have learned the hard way that craigslist is good for pretty much everything but trampolines. When you have 10 jumping for hours every day you're just better off spending money on a quality one that will hold up to the task asked of it.

Twins and twins.

Christmas morning group. So it might would've been cute if A and B had stayed dressed in warm clothes....and a fire was lit...and the stockings were still up. A fire was eventually raging in the fireplace to warm the house up and A and B did rediscover their warm pj's soon after this...but the stockings never made it back up, as they were too full to stick back on.