The Wedding

Continuing on from my previous post.

With Brad's help we were able to leave earlier than expected despite the previous day's unexpected change of plans. With a small bag full of wedding clothes, hair gel for boys, hairbrushes and bows for girls and other odds and ends in one small bag it made the fast change of clothes process quick and easy. We arrived in time enough to make the change and complete hairdos and then take off yet again to grab dinner and head to Dallas. Once again the traffic in that area is astonishing to me. Brad and I seem to incessantly be contemplating whether to stay here or make the move "home". We had agreed to pray about it and make a trip up there as just the 2 of us to really pray it out and see what we felt God calling us to do. This trip confirmed in both of our hearts that God does indeed have a very amazing plan for our life but it more than likely does not include the DFW area. It only took returning this one time to know that though I am no st ranger to that place, it is somewhere I really do not wish to ever live again. Cars...the infinite sea of vehicles was not only appalling but quite astonishing to me. It seems there are a hundred fold more people there than when we left only 2 1/2 short years ago. And the attitudes.....oh my gosh....the attitudes are sooo entirely horrific there. I forget just how badly the sardine lifestyle of the suburbs brings out the rude and ugliness in people. It is sad to me to see so many unhappy people in the world.

We ran into old church friends at dinner so stayed a minute to catch up with them and then continued on to Dallas. The ocean of cars that sat before us at lights and on freeways was enough to fill the children with disbelief. I am quite sure that it would take at least 6 months to see that many cars in our small part of Texas. They see it every time we go up there but it is still never any less mind boggling to them to see that many cars on one road. At this point they had now been in the car for the 3 1/2 hours to get to Fort Worth and then the 2 hours we were now stuck in trying to get to Dallas. We made it there with a few minutes to spare to get a few pictures and then the wedding began.

Ok...so I may be a little ignorant here but I figured a Friday night wedding was somewhat informal. I was always taught while working my few years at the corporate offices of a highly successful tuxedo company that Friday evening around 6 or 7 was nice casual, as you would wear to a Sunday morning church service. Light, airy and pretty. Saturday later afternoon was the same...4 and 5 o' clock weddings were nice and toned down but still dressy. The big formal affairs were Saturday night weddings. A Sat night wedding at 7 meant business but a Sat night wedding at 8 was no holes barred, bring out the china, spend the money, elaborate, diamonds and crystals wedding. In fact, I was actually taught to counsel people on this when they came seeking wedding advise. So you can imagine my surprise when we arrived at this late Friday night wedding that began at 8pm to see that it was as formal as they come. Staunch, stuffy, black tie event held in one of the most beautiful churches in all of Dallas. Many a violin lesson was taken and recital played here in my childhood days. So, I was familiar with this beautiful piece of Dallas. Somewhere in this Friday night event it struck me as to how insane this was. We had all 8 children with us that had been seat belted in the van for the last 5 hours and only out long enough to change clothes and eat dinner and we were thinking they could not only attend a black tie event but sit quietly through a wedding that formal . To say there was a need to run off some excess energy doesn't even come close to describing this little scenario. With my brother and long time family friend meeting us there we all ventured in. We all had a good laugh at the horrified looks that crossed every person's face as our well dressed, good looking brood filed in. Not even one person would speak to us and if they looked our way then they might dare have to actually acknowledge that we really did exist and were actually serious about taking them all in. The usher that took me down the isle was the most good natured of them all and about the only one that would dare even aknowledge the fact we were there to be seated. He asked me...or more stated....as we headed down the isle, "You are family, right?" I laughed and said no. He stammered and stuttered and said, "Oh...I just assumed.....with all these......" Between Scott, Chandler, Mother, Brad, me and all 8 of the children we seriously took up one entire pew of the many massive ones that occupied this beautiful church. That had to be the most heads we have turned in an entire lifetime. I couldn't decide if I wanted to just melt into the pew and conveniently disappear out of sight or to revel in this new found attention we were getting.....despite the fact it was attention that was far from pleasant. I think scrutiny would put it a little more appropriately. The children sat perfectly and politely taking in their new environment. Gavin got a little excited but other than a few loud conversations from him before the ceremony began all was going entirely well. Ivye sat perched on my lap playing happily and seemingly oblivious to the fact she was sitting yet again. Somewhere in there Grant's world fell apart and his attitude turned from patience to sheer and utter disgust for life. He was ready to play. He held it in and in typical Grant fashion he threw his fit rather quietly while he seethed inwardly. It was disciplined all the same. It is not the action and the severity, or lack thereof, of it but the attitude that is disciplined. At one point we had stood to sing a hymn and he had unknowingly laid down in the spot I had just vacated. As we finished singing I sat down with Ivye in my arms and promptly and unceremoniously sat directly on his head. It was hard not to burst into fits of laughter as he then went into loud fits of sniffles trying to reign in his behaviour and bad attitude. He was quickly quieted and we proceeded on. With only a few foot fights between Garrett and Aubrey the rest went amazingly well.

With the bride and groom declared married and their exit finally made the congregation rose and we filed out. There were throngs of people. It was by far the largest wedding I have ever attended. And all while trying to keep all 8 of them in sight. Somehow I cannot imagine being the Duggar's in New York City. It seemed Brad and I were constantly counting and recounting little heads in the mass exit of bodies. We managed to make it outside with all 8 accounted for. Brad left to return home immediately following the ceremony but the rest of us decided to make our way to the reception..somehow insanely imagining that it might miraculously be more causal. Ummm....no. Not just no but really no.

The highlight of the wedding must have come when we decided to valet park the van. Yes....the ancient, giant piece of moving crap that it is. But it is paid off crap so it is wonderful, wonderful, blessed-beyond-all-measure crap, of course. Brad was a bit horrified that we would even think of doing such a thing. His pride was at stake and when the van is concerned there is definitely not much room for pride in the picture. Ok, well...more like NO room for pride in the picture. Brad said he was quite sure the valet guys needed an extra tip just for being willing to drive it. So, on the streets of downtown Dallas in the dark with cars flying by at break neck speeds we unloaded every one of the children, unbuckling carseats as fast as we all could. Grayson, Evye and Aubrey had ridden with Scott so there were no older children to get a head start on the unbuckling process before our time came. We crossed over the busy streets to arrive at the hotel where the reception was being held. Jammed into an elevator we made our way up only to discover that the reception was significantly more formal..if it is even possibly to do that...which I am quite sure they proved to do. Dimly lit chandeliers hung, suspended from upholstered, drapery shrouded ceilings. It seemed the room was so dark one needed a flashlight to take in the surroundings. I was quite tempted to grab one of the glass candelabras just to figure out who it was I was talking to. As my eyes adjusted I began to see china settings with white covered chairs swathed in yards of fabric and bows. Clear glasses topped off the china place settings and glass covered candles flickered. I had visions of my dear children setting the place on fire and gleefully manhandling every bit of the place settings that adorned the tables. That scenario played out horrifically in my mind while the other scenario briefly occupied it as well....the fact that they could sit well and perfectly behaved but growing more and more and more bored until finally at some point an explosion would occur since I was after all asking for an emotional breakdown of any or all of them at this point. We were now going on 9 hours of cooped up claustrophobia for them. It wasn't looking too fun anyway since I am the down home, jeans and boots kind of girl. The whole formal wear, diamonds and crystals tinkling just doesn't light my fire by any stretch of the imagination. Give me a good plot of dirt to plant some stuff in, some fun loving animals, a porch swing and a pretty day and I'm good. I mean, we are talking after all about the girl who wears her wedding ring once a year since I have never really seemed to have heavily tuned into the jewelry side of myself. With the constant on and off that it does due to continual hand washings I am afraid I am going to set it down somewhere and at some point not be able to find it again. Believe me...it's happened many more times than once. So, I wear it on our dates and that's about it.

With the china and glass staring at us menacingly I turned to Mother and fessed up that this was not my idea of fun at all and an ice cream sundae sounded like much more fun for everybody involved. We counted heads once again and just as soon as we had come to this place we were leaving it. Down the elevator, down the sidewalk, across the heavily traveled street and back to the valet guys. With ticket in hand I explained and we were lovingly spared the 12.00 fee since we had been there all of 15 minutes. The guys were wonderful and though we had to stand on the street corner for a good 15 minutes waiting for the van to be returned they pulled it up into a cove so that we could load in peace away from the traffic and speeding cars. As we had stood waiting on the van the older ones and I had devised a plan of loading everyone in and avoiding the cars. So we passed the time doing that and talking of the huge buildings that dwarfed us and the bright colored lights that lit up all of downtown Dallas. We stood at the base of the giant green building and were only streets away from the famous Dallas ball that is present in every postcard picture one ever sees of Dallas, Texas. The children loved this and it kept them busy until the van arrived. With all 8 safely loaded we made our way through the streets of downtown and back to the freeway that would take us back to Mother's for the night. By the time we arrived in Fort Worth half the van was asleep so the ones that had remained awake got ice cream. The others never knew what they missed out on. We reached Mother's sometime around 11 that night and quickly and quietly laid the sleeping ones down. We visited for awhile before exhaustion eventually claimed us as well. The next day held excitement all it's own....for puppy day had finally come!

Oh...somewhere in there our family seemed to have made fans. Once over and everybody was exiting we had more than a few people stop to marvel over the children. I wouldn't have even mentioned this in this post if it had not been for the "Yeah....we definitely saw y'all coming and were a little shocked. We definitely were not expecting this and were so pleasantly surprised!!" and "Oh man!!! We did not expect such amazing behaviour out of this crew right here. Your kids are just amazing!!!!" and then the "Are they all your's????!!!! They sat there so perfectly. They have got to be the most well behaved kids ever. Sure is a lot of them to act so well" It was funny to me more than anything since it truly showed in every way what people were expecting out of the crew when we walked in. It easily explains the horrified looks on every person's face there when we arrived. We all couldn't help but get a good laugh when the comments started to roll. Even Scott thought it was quite entertaining to hear people's perception beforehand and afterwards. It is sad to me though how people see children and just expect the worst. Whatever happened to well behaved kids? It seems they are more the exception now than the rule. I think the relief and amazement on everybody's faces were priceless. Almost makes me want to do it again. Ok....well maybe not. But it was fun seeing the reaction in everybody.