A Thousand Miles From Nowhere

For the first time in life I realized what it is to feel so very far removed out here. There has never been a time that I have ever not loved living here and not loved being absolutely out here in the middle of nowhere. The other night I got up to nurse Ivye and went in to check on Gavin and out the window grazed a mama doe and her fawn in the quiet dark, their silhouettes illuminated by the glow of the white light of the moon. They moved around to the front of the house and grazed under the trees with the fawn eventually laying down in the dry crispy brown grass. They have started coming up on the porch at night and eating the cat food out of the bowls.

But on to more important matters. After arriving home from church Sunday afternoon all kids were turned loose to play since it was now 3:00 and way too late for naps. We'd been home all of maybe 10 minutes when Grayson comes screaming in the house that Garrett was injured. He was a bit hysterical and said to call Brad immediately. Of all days Brad was at the station, as he seems to always be when the big stuff happens. As Grayson started to cry and screamed to hurry I felt my own fear rising and starting to send me over the edge in panic. Mother and I ran out the back door to find Garrett sitting on the rocks screaming and blood gushing from the back of his head. Mother picked him up and I took a look at the gash that was appearing to be a large hole directly on the back of his head. At that point I did kinda freak. Blood flowed freely and then gushed out like a river every time his pulse beat. For the first time ever I honestly thought one of my children might be dying. All I could think was that he was bleeding out and we were 30 minutes away from any help. AirMed is a good 30-40 minutes by the time the call comes in, they warm up and then flight time. Ground assessment takes 10 minutes and then the 10 minute flight back. We both know that throwing any dangerously injured child in the back of the van is just as fast as getting AirMed here. Any ambulance service out here is a joke. Eden is as close as it gets and it is a good 20 miles, not to mention that the caliber of the EMT's would equal my own knowledge of what could be done for the situation. I'm not sure paramedics even exist there. Grayson had called Brad and just handed me the phone so I was a bit panicked at that point and told him just to meet me at the ER. I had had just enough time to change pants but not my shirt when this all occurred. So...somehow remembering I was in 1/2 church attire and 1/2 lounge around attire I went to the closet and threw on a t-shirt, panicking all the way I might add. Brad was trying to talk some sense into me and tell me what bank and insurance stuff to get and put the whole story together. Mother stood at the door applying pressure to his head while I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off and just, in general, wasted time looking like a moron. My hands were shaking so bad that I I dropped everything I touched. Thoughts of him losing consciousness and dying in my arms kept coming to mind and rendering me incapable of doing most everything. All I could see in my head was his limp little body and being miles and miles away from any help at all with his head still bleeding profusely. It literally felt like we were a thousand miles from nowhere. 30 miles is an eternity when you seriously think one of your children is in death's grip. Out of habit I gave instructions for all of the children to load up and for olders to buckle youngers quickly. As Mother stood watching me skitz out she made the suggestion that I just take Garrett in and leave the others with her. His blood had soaked 1 towel and was bleeding through to the second at this point. Ivye was loaded up by someone...probably me though I have no memory of it.....and I hurriedly told Grayson to sit with Garrett to keep applying the pressure to his head while we drove. Grayson was still crying softly but with specific instruction and a job to do he quickly pulled himself together and took over the task at hand. By this time Garrett had stopped crying and I honestly didn't know whether to be even more scared or relieved. Crying was good cause it meant that he was alive and well but silence could be good in that it may not be nearly as bad as I was making it out to be. Mother reported that the bleeding had slowed by the time he was in his carseat...though it only took the rocky driveway to set it off again. Now behind the driver's seat for the next 30 miles I was forced to settle down and get a grip. I talked to Brad on the phone as Grayson and I tried to piece the story together and what had happened. Garrett was riding his 2 wheel bike like a Knievel jr, as he always does and due to his NASCAR worthy speeds he dodged to miss slow moving Gavin and crashed. Somehow at some point in there the back of his head slammed into the massive unforgiving rocks that make up our patio area. Since the rocks came from the surrounding land around this place they are naturally lumpy, bumpy and somewhat jagged in nature. His head apparently struck against one of the protruding parts of the rock. Upon the initial sight of it I thought the bike handle had actually gone through his head but after sorting the story out we realized it had been a rock and it did not poke a hole into his head but just split it open instead. Mother was at home surveying the bike handle looking at the blood on it to see if the handle had actually gone into his head but discovered the blood on the handle was dripped down it instead and pooled as it dried. So, the best we can come up with is that his head struck the rocks. Whatever it hit was unforgiving and merciless.

With Brad's instructions we went to the station first and with a quick glance it was surmised that he indeed would need sutures. At this point the bleeding had slowed again but Garrett's hands were covered with it, his carseat had a huge blood spot where his head had rested and there was a drying river of blood from his head all the way down his back and into his little underwear. Since Brad cannot leave the apparatus he is assigned to that day the entire engine crew went with us. We followed in the van behind the big truck to the ER. The guys were great about it and hung out while Grayson, Brad and I had Garrett looked at. It only took a quick glance by everyone near that Garrett was indeed in need of suturing. We were taken to a room where they applied topical numbing stuff and waited for 40 minutes for it to go into effect. Garrett was quiet this entire time. He cried when Brad set him down to be weighed but other than that he was a model patient who refrained from any noise at all. I nursed Ivye while Brad held him in the ER bed. It was determined they would staple his head instead of stitching it back up. Never in my life could I imagine them stapling his head without numbing the entire area. Brad and the dr both said the 20 second lidocaine burn would hurt far worse than the almost instantly fading pain of the staple. I was hesitant to say the least. They laid him down on his stomach and pulled out the stapler. I wanted to faint and debated on going out of the room entirely. But before I could even ask they pointed and shot. He wiggled around and whimpered, Brad stilled him and they shot the next one in. He cried for a second and was almost immediately swept up into Brad's arms and comforted. His crying stopped just as quickly and it was over. They wrapped his head up in a gauze cap and we were instructed to keep it on for 24 hrs. He looked so pathetic. This is our little guy that only 3 days before had had a scooter wreck and cut open his chin and Brad had to make the decision on whether that needed stitches. It didn't and we didn't even go into the ER like we thought we were going to need to for that one. They very same day as the chin incident they were all on the trampoline and he had been jumped by one of the older ones into one of the poles and been given a purple eye...that was now a nice color of muted yellow. So.....with his little gauze hat on he looked like he'd been in a street fight or could rival the best of the WWE.

Brad left to take care of the business end of it while Garrett was offered his choice of an entire drawer full of stickers. He politely only took his 1.....as is the standard rule around here when they are offered something...and was then urged by all of the nursing staff that was drooling over him and how cute he is to take as many as he wanted. He chose 3 and promptly told the nurse he wanted them all on his head. The nurse peeled and he quickly pasted them on his forehead and cheeks making him look all that more ridiculous. We all stood laughing at him. Brad returned from handling the business end of it all and we were met by the entire station crew at the ER entrance doors. All the guys stood around high fiving Garrett and telling him how sharp he looked with his new beanie cap. Garrett was way too enthralled with the trucks to talk stickers and head wounds and stood loudly stating the obvious that the medic and engine sat outside. With kisses from Daddy and a quick look at the trucks for the 10 millionth time in his life we made out way back out to the van with a new and improved Garrett. Brad loaded him up and the 4 of us set off for home.

I called Mother to let her know we were on our way back. After an update on Garrett she then reported that Garrison was now at home puking. Oh my freakin gosh. How much can a day hold...or do I even want to know? And where in the crap did this come from??? It happens everytime we start to make significant headway in our spiritual walk and the storms begin to pour in torrential downfalls. The spiritual attack is somewhat astounding due to the severity when it comes. There is nothing even a little nonchalant about it. I called Brad and told him to start praying and to cover the entire family in prayer and ask for protection, standing against anything else Satan would try to bring on in this onslaught. I knew the battle had begun. This week I had done exceedingly well in getting up early and then not only did we make it to church but remembered every reason why we loved them. We were able to praise and worship unhindered unlike we have done in a very long time. The children were given percussion instruments to play and they stood by our side making a "joyful noise unto the Lord". It was incredible to be back.

We arrived home, and since Mother had already fed them, all I just put everybody in bed. Garrison had another puking episode in which he eventually just went into dry heaving. Dry heaving is good (relatively speaking of course). We like dry heaving around here. He was tucked into bed with a trash can and Grant was allowed to sleep on Aubrey's bed since cleaning up 2 boys didn't sound like very much fun. Garrison has been known to lovingly puke on his twin in the middle of the night. We had a birthday movie night with Mother for Grayson's birthday the following day (another post later on in the week) and then the older 2 were put to bed. Garrett got up around 1 am with a "hade-ache" so more ice packs and numbing stuff. It was then that I walked into their room and discovered that based on the smell that emanated from there that something must have indeed died in there. It was enough to make me puke. I searched the world over for the culprit but discovered only a minor amount of spit up in Garrison's trash can. Since Garrett has been fighting off a sinus infection and his breath has smelled very near dog poop I insanely thought that maybe his breath had just funked up the room uncontrollably. He had his 1st doe of coconut oil before bedtime and some natural decongestants so I thought maybe they just hadn't had time to work their magic just yet. Upon smelling his breath 1/2 an hour later I decided that he was indeed not responsibly for this ungodly nastiness that pervaded. Like a complete and total fool I stuck my head down to Garrison and discovered "puke" on his sheets. I thought it was a little strange for whatever reason and something in me told me it wasn't really puke. So...for whatever insane reason I stuck my nose down on his stomach and oh my gosh. Wanting to pass out doesn't even come close. I peeled back the covers and the alleged "puke" was of course not puke at all. I didn't even know a kid could have diarrhea unknowingly in the middle of the night but apparently it is indeed possible. I woke him up and peeled the covers away and transported him at arms' length to the tub. He cried pathetically and his whole body shook from the cold of the cooler temps of the night. After cleaning Garrison up and getting him back into some warm clean pj's I set to work on stripping the bed and starting the wash. At this point Garrett was still awake from his "hade-ache" and talking non stop and we were now going on 3am. The rest of the house slept peacefully. I moved him over to Evye's bed for the rest of the night since the girls were camped out on the nursery floor due to Mother being here.

After they were tucked warmly back in I crawled back to bed wondering what else the night had in store and desperately just wanting sleep. I had just enough time to drift off before Ivye's hungry little stomach was enough to wake both of us. I fell asleep nursing her and eventually was awakened to her stirring around when she was done. I placed her back in her bed at 4:30 am and finally was able to sleep until the children all awoke at 8. Back to life.

Brad came home after an entire night up on the engine. I opted to take the morning shift since Mother was still here and we could sew and he agreed to take the afternoon shift. He slept the morning away while we sewed and fixed lunch. Eventually he got up and Mother left around 2m. Brad went to run while I finally got to go back to bed. Grayson and Evye took over since he was out running so I could sleep for awhile. The thought of dinner was absolutely exhausting so Brad headed off to his city council meeting while the children and I bundled up against the cold front blowing in and set off for town and a Sonic birthday dinner surprise for Grayson.

But I must say that this event was a very first for us. I figured we've done pretty good to have 8 and only just now made this kind of trip to the ER. I honestly just figured if we ever had to do an ER run of this nature that it would involve Grayson and some kind of bike injury. He is crazily good on his bike and can do things most kids will never in a lifetime be able to do. But, alas...it was sweet little 2 year old Garrett. It was indeed a bike injury due to race worthy speeds but not exactly the kid I expected it to be. He is on the mend now and only occasionally complains of any "hade-aches" now. He is being babied by all of the older ones and all of his needs are being more than met by an onslaught of eager siblings that feel so entirely sorry for him. But the kid's already back out on the trampoline having wrestling matches with the rest of them. His 24 hr cap got to come off last night and we were able to survey the damage. It is enough to turn my stomach looking at it but he is no worse for the wear. While feeding him oatmeal after arriving home from the ER he looked up at me with those huge blue eyes and asked if he could please go ride his bike some more. Get back on that horse, boy!