So, Grayson has been asking for a few months now what exactly it is. We have the school system to thank for breaking him into that one. At school it's considered a bad word and everyone makes a huge deal over "sex". Brad and I talked and talked about the right timing but neither one of us ever really felt at peace about it or a good way to go about it since we want so much to lay a solid foundation based on principles of what God clearly says about it and what it is created for. It never really seemed right just to blurt it out when he asks at the noon table or at 4 in the afternoon when the house is noisy and ten million things are going on. And then there is that thing of......just how exactly do I tell him????!!!!! So, I began praying about it. Knowing our special situation anyway I knew we really wanted to base it in Biblical truths and character but not make it seem like it is anything out of the ordinary or something to be appalled at. So, in the midst of praying about it, I found a book that I fell in love with. It's a 4 part series of God's Design for Sex. The 1st book is for ages 3-5, the 2nd 5-8, the 3rd 8-11 and the 4th for 11+. The 1st book is obviously just very basic and doesn't go into anything except proper names for body parts...since parents seem to be so gun shy and tend to make up every word in the book to call it except the real thing........and believe me, after having worked in the nursery for so many years I've heard them all. And the 1st book is very appropriately about Aubrey's age level. The 2nd gracefully and diplomatically goes into the story but doesn't focus on any one thing except for God's purpose in creating it all, what it is and what pregnancy and birth are. Timing for this whole thing was truly God ordained and couldn't have been better, as God always seems to work. They both marveled at the way a baby grows and the way it is formed from an egg as tiny as a grain of sand and grows into a full term baby. They already had a pretty deep knowledge of pregnancy at every stage of development but it was still something to be awed about as the book stepped through it. They were full of questions about Gavin and how he has grown and what he will look like once he gets here. When it came time for the birthing part Grayson in all of his analytically minded ways says in a voice where realization has finally dawned, "Ohhhhhh, well that just makes a lot more sense!!!!" I asked what he meant and he gave his rendition of what he thought took place and now understanding what really takes place. I'll spare the details, since they'll be forever humorously ingrained into my head forever, but I'll credit the book for putting it so gracefully and truthfully that he never even saw it as anything but completely orchestrated and ordained by the Lord and as there being nothing gross about it. Suddenly the light turned on and he was completely caught up in the sensibility of it. To him if it doesn't make sense it's not worth his time or thought.
Evye was more caught up in the creation of her own body and what it had to say about being a girl and becoming a woman. I'm convinced that someday we really will have a midwifery practice together. She's as mesmerized by it as I was at that age. She loves learning about pregnancy. One thing I really do regret with all my heart is what the school experience did to their minds about bodies and how they function and are created. In the 7 short months they were there they caught on to the fact that sex was a bad word, is considered something entirely nasty and dirty and created an awareness of body parts being "nasty" and something to make a huge deal about. I'm hoping and praying that they are still young enough that the worldly image and mindset they were exposed to can be replaced and renewed with matter of fact, to the point Biblical principles about what God has in mind for it and how to honor Him with their bodies. If they can be taught character building blocks about attitudes and life issues in their daily lives right now it isn't too early to begin building character in this area that the world so saturates every age group with. I suppose there's no real way of knowing if it's paid off or not until they are of pre-teen and teen age, even up until they are married. By then hopefully they will begin having convictions of their own based on what we have strived to instill in them by openness and honesty. With the very foundational basis resting on the Bible itself and it's lifegiving principles I hope that we will have armed them enough to face the world, in all of its disillusioned ways and portrayals of sexuality in general.
So, from here, Brad is going to take the 3rd book and read through it with him as a father/son study and time together. I'm really excited Brad wanted to take part in it. I honestly didn't figure he'd want to in any way and figured that was part of the parenting that was up to me. But instead he stepped in and said he needed to be the one to take over from here and that he wants a swinging door wide open for communication where he and his boys are concerned. In order for them to feel like they can go to him for anything and any situation in life the groundwork needs to be laid now and encompass every aspect of it...both highly personal down to just the everyday mundane things of life.
But I'm going to bed with a much lighter heart now. I'm not sure I really realized the heavy burden that it was on my heart to get this issue addressed. The constant questions continually surfacing were starting to weigh me down about the responsibility that comes with this part of parenting. Some parents treat it as nothing more to it than just a natural bodily function and break the news from the earliest age possible so that it's never really an issue or needing to be discussed, others wait until the kids are 13 and on the verge of puberty......or even waiting until puberty hits.....and the talk has to take place at that point, and then some parents just don't deal with it at all and let the public do it for them. I want to try and avoid protecting them so much that a feeling of forbiddeness shrouds it and creates a sense of mysterious allure about the whole thing. I hope that today we laid the foundation for a truly God given perspective on it and that as we continue to walk down this road with them as they grow that the Lord will give us the wisdom to continue in this new part and responsibility of parenting. I do, in some weird sort of way, feel like a more mature, well rounded parent now having crossed one of the bigger bridges. Ridiculous, I know. But I feel like the first stepping stone in this area has been laid and we finally have something really good and worthy to build on.
The unexpected challenges of parenting are just really amazing to me. They truly do inspire me to be a better person in every sense of the word. Parenting can be the most ungraceful thing in life as I stumble and trip my way through it but it can also be the most rewarding thing I think I've ever experienced. And it's been an amazing thing when I finally got to a place where I am comfortable enough in it that I really truly do not care what other people think about the way we do it because we know that we are doing what is best for us, our babies and our children due to the fact we know them unlike anyone else. God created us as their parents and not any one other person on this earth, therefore the trust and faith in Him to give us the knowledge and wisdom needed to raise them is unshakable.
Who would've ever thought the 'birds and the bees" could be so deep????!!!!
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