Coming Home

Alright.........so today held so many emotions that I am completely ecstatic but really really worn out. I think I've lived a lifetime in the past 2 days......2 years...........3 years.

It started Wed night when I arrived in San Angelo. I was already feeling very oppressed and even kind of depressed about the trip. We are tight on money and funded the trip in much faith that this was the course of action to take. After seeing his new station and meeting the guys we headed to the hotel only to find out that the debit card was declined and we had no money in the account at all. Brad, in a frantic hurry, raced over to the bank across town only to discover out the TITHE checks for the last month had both cleared within 2 days of each other and we are overdrawn by 221.00. There we were with nowhere to go, nowhere to stay, more than completely broke, hungry and Garrett was starving and had been for 2 hrs. We drove aimlessly. Brad was so mad that we finally just pulled over and prayed. We were able to get some pizza with the declined card that, for some reason, cleared at the Little Caesar's and so we sat in an empty parking lot and ate pizza as I fed Garrett in the front seat. It was a very lonely, desolate, forgotten feeling. We decided to head to Andrews.....another 2 1/2 hr drive.....and stay at his parents for the night. When they asked why he was bringing me and the 2 children he dodged the question but eventually they kept at it so he told them that some unexpected stuff came up and we couldn't stay in the hotel. They offered to pay for it since Pam was not real thrilled with me and the children staying with them (keeping your mother in law mad at you pays off sometimes!!!!! - hahahahaha!!!!! - no, just kidding). So, we went back to the hotel and I was more depressed than ever. Brad and I have both felt so led to tithe and now, not only had that backfired, but it also was such a desolate feeling and couldn't help but make us feel like the trip had started out on a really bad note and hoping it was not an indicator of things to come the next day.

So, I slept restlessly and finally morning came and it was time to see what the day had in store. We had to be there at 8:30 and were briefly briefed by our attorney and then once we entered had to sit and wait forever for the other 2 cases to be heard.......extremely boring!!!!! And then our case was heard and it took 1 1/2 hrs! It was all very intense and very convincing arguments from both sides. It came down to the judge either overruling what the annuity documents clearly define that we cannot do and overturning the annuity agreement or siding with the signed legal documents Ben signed and sticking with the legal argument of the contractual agreement that we were "bound" by. Brad had to take the stand and was examined and cross examined. Based on the deposition given to the judge and her preference for our side of the case it looked pretty good at the beginning but once we got into the reasons for doing this she questioned Brad to make sure we are fully aware of our decision to pursue this......which we have only spent the last 2 years researching and trying to figure out if we can make this work. In the end after a very long hard grueling 1 1/2 hrs she said that we had presented enough evidence that we are more than aware and very educated, more so than most of her cases, and it would be in the best interest of our family to rule in our favor.......so she did........after the other lawyer got his butt handed to him for disputing this....which of course he had no choice in since he represents the company that the annuity is with and they hired him, and he is employed by them to do nothing but contest these cases. Once it was finally over I couldn't even be happy at 1st. I just wanted to go home and go to bed. Neither one of us could believe that this is finally over and that we can be together again. The fact that Brad is on the fire dept went tremendously in our favor and we later found out that the judge herself commuted from San Angelo to Austin for 18 yrs. Her husband is a judge in SA and she was one for Austin. So, she has had very personal experience with living a married life apart due to commuting. There were so many emotions it was hard to take it all in. It was very surreal, as if I wasn't really living in the present. 2 years of being apart and it was turned around in a day.......in the span of 1 1/2 hrs. Neither one of us could really say much on the way back to the suburban and we packed up the hotel in an unworldly peace and quiet disbelief. Finally realization started to come to both of us and we couldn't talk enough about what took place in court.....the proceedings, the testimony, the entire morning. Finally, a ray of hope, a sign that God has indeed not forgotten us and is actually quite tuned in to where we are and the turning of our hearts towards Him after so many months of anger and depression.

We went to lunch with a guy and his wife from the station and then were off to our new tiny town so that I could finally see what our new house is like. Driving down the winding roads through the TX hills and massive ranches I began to feel like I had come home. We pulled into the tiny, sleepy, little town and turned down the neighborhood dirt street and came to stop in the driveway of the most beautiful dream I could ever imagine. There stood a little gray house with white shutters and trim on every window with flowers at every corner and a huge front porch with a swing and an old church bench. I met the guy that owns it that works with Brad and he showed us around the acreage and backyard. Mesquite trees are abundant and all I could think was how many Grayson will finally have to climb. They wind and twist and in their gnarled state make every little boys dream come true. Goats grazed in the pasture and incredibly strong new fencing surrounded them.....perfect for the goats.....and our dogs. There in the back was a garden filled with flowers on one side and herbs on the other with a little stone path through the middle that led to a big purple, custom built playhouse for the children. He wasn't finished building it so it has yet to be enclosed at the top but the bottom and all of the framing is painted a little girl purple. It only needs upper walls and a roof. Another porch swing, large and red, hung from the covered back porch that overlooks the backyard...which overlooks the Baptist preacher's backyard. I then learned the preacher is young and his wife is expecting their 1st baby in Dec and are thrilled with us buying the house. His church is directly across the street from our houses....so we'll walk to church. The front porch swing overlooks our front yard and the century old church. Deer graze freely in both the front and backyards early in the morning. I finally entered the house and he explained that his wife is the art teacher at the school and has a great love of color. Each and every room is tastefully painted and all trimmed in white. The wood floors were restored from the original 1930 house and in the addition they added there is tile. Finally I felt all of the suppressed emotions and wanted to laugh and cry. The yard has a tire swing and 2 traditional swings hanging from the trees and behind us stands the 6 acres that we will buy next Nov. He explained that this small town used to be the busiest town in the county due to the cotton industry and the trains ran right behind us on the 6 acres. On that 6 acres was a huge turn table for the engines and they'd bring the trains into town to load all of the cotton in the region and then turn them around and send them back out to the main tracks. When the train bridge washed away it destroyed the industry and the population fell, never returning to what used to be. In time they took the tracks out but if you go wander around back there on the 6 acres there are buried train treasures. He said last week he was walking around back there and came up with several different train pieces and all kinds of stuff from way back that people used as part of everyday life working on the railroad.

Finally as we drove out of town and I saw the true blip on the map that it is I began to feel like i was home. We passed the library that is a century old 1 story house with Victorian trim above the large welcoming white front porch. We turned back onto the main hwy and spread out before me was TX, vast and unpopulated....untouched and unruined by the litter of life. To the left we passed a long winding dirt road that stretched into the sky, leading to what seemed like nowhere.......maybe heaven......as it zig zagged into the hills. A sign on the hwy pointed to the dirt road and said "Indian Pictographs" and an arrow pointed down the "road to nowhere". For the 1st time as we crossed bridges and went up and down the hills I felt like TX was mine. These were no longer roads that belonged to Brad and a life I have no part in but they were roads that not only I would travel but roads that belonged to me...that I now had part ownership in. Summers in Brady came back to me as I passed the great ranches that dotted the empty hwy. When another truck did finally come into view 2 fingers would stand up in a friendly TX manner to acknowledge and say hi. I had returned to the part of the country where the world still ticks to a slower clock and life is still enjoyed, people still drive big trucks and wave.

Finally......I know I have come home. Though it is 4 hrs away from any life I have ever lived or known and everyone I dearly love I know this is now our home. So, with great anticipation I pack up the house and look forward to a life in a town so small that you need a magnifying glass to locate it on the map.

Our great journey began a long time ago.....but finally a new chapter is being written. We move on.