With special thanks to our up and coming cosmetologist that saw the need to paint the nails before doing any picture taking. Since this morning's picture session it has now turned a true deep purple...a gratifying color since it now actually looks like I endured as much pain as I did. Pictures don't do it justice. They never quite seem to. I think I've had a few stupid injuries in life but none quite this stupid, this painful or this inhibiting. Instructions were to stay in bed with foot propped up for 72 hours....and I actually reveled in the thought of being handicapped for a whole 3 days.....but it was quite ludicrous to think it would ever truly happen. A mere 24 hours after rolling around in the floor in agony I'm back to cooking and cleaning.
There's a few pretty accidental things that take place around here...but usually it involves lots of little kids being way too rowdy and someone eventually walking away with a black eye, a massive bruise or some amount of blood in the deal. And when adults are involved...which is rare....it usually involves air born baby monitors expertly pitched by a certain little 19 month old girl. But, nope. This was completely in its entirety an embarrassingly stupid self inflicted injury. Those kind where you just walk into a door facing for no apparent reason. Suddenly that unmoving object has come into bodily contact with a body part. Maybe I was just under the impression it was going to move. Obviously so.
So, I just walked right into it but toe hit before head actually did. I'm thinking that the head may have fared a little better than the toe did had head made contact first. I immediately hit the floor in pain thinking I had just stubbed my toe and the pain would be fleeting. About 2 minutes into the ordeal and with an eager crowd of 8 around me I was beginning to realize the pain wasn't as fleeting as it should've been. With the joys of nausea and heat flash coming on swiftly due to pain, instructions were given to get me a trash can. Right about then Garrison cheerfully chirps...."Hey!!! Look at her toe!! It's sticking out sideways!!!" I finally glanced at the pinky toe in agony and, much to my shock, it really was sticking out of my foot completely sideways. It gave the appearance of an L shape...something toes should never in their lifetime do, I might add. I went to walk to the bed to survey the damage but only managed to get to my feet before feelings of nausea overcame me once again and after that little incident I could feel the world fading. From somewhere Grayson said, "Hey, mom? I think you're going to pass out. You should sit down, I think." I slid my back down the door facing once more and just sat in overwhelming pain. How on earth can an appendage that little on your body wreak that much havoc and cause THAT much pain???? In a very mortified manner in all of my glory I crawled my butt to the bed and finally managed to make it to the mattress. I called on shift husband and told him of my predicament. I assured him it needed some form of help and we could drive in to figure out what to do. Everyone hurriedly got dressed and threw shoes on. It took about ten minutes to figure out I couldn't even make it to the bathroom door not to mention trying to make it out to the van and then actually drive with that foot. So, they called in a guy to cover sweet husband and he headed home. I was quite certain at this point that it was totally broken since it was now no less than 3 times it normal size and turning a funny color.
We weighed out ER options but I couldn't bring myself to spend at least 1,000.00 for someone to yank my toe back into place. You can't cast a broken toe, they don't give pain meds for a broken toe and you pay an astronomical amount for someone to pull what already hurts. A total waste of money, if you ask me. He assessed it when he got home, we looked it up on the internet and confirmed it probably was not broken but just severely dislocated. By this time it'd been about an hour since I'd so lovingly rammed it into the door and it was so swollen it was starting to stand up straight once more instead of sticking out so entirely sideways....and it was blissfully going numb.
Again, we discussed options and the ER would involve having to wait for Mother to arrive to care for children....and I was just kind of mad at myself for the ridiculousness of even being in this boat. I asked if he could set it back into place and he said he could. So, with every kid banished from the room he proceeded to pull it back into place. To say it was a painful experience doesn't really fully explain the misery involved. He backed away, assessed and then made the determination that all was still not well and proceeded to do it yet again until it was fully realigned. And I must clarify that there is a massive myth circulating that when a dislocated body part is realigned there is immediate relief...because immediate relief does not exist when one is in that much pain. So, I laid there and it burned for long minutes after the fact and I tried to refrain from using every cuss word I know.
Captain had let him go without charging him sick or holiday time if he returned as soon as possible. So, with a lingering kiss and encouraging words over how well I had done he disappeared once more and headed back to town. And I continued to lay on the bed completely unable to walk. It wasn't until he called on his 32 mile trip back in that I was informed that they DO give pain meds for that in the ER, people have actually called 911 for such injuries and he has actually transported people for dislocated fingers and toe injuries. But then again, people call 911 for many, many amazingly stupid things and the majority of them usually get transported out of sheer desire to go to the hospital. Something I'll never quite understand. I can't really say it was worth an ambulance ride to the hospital, as I was far from dying...though it certainly didn't quite feel like that at the moment......but it was definitely painful enough to be hospital worthy. It was strangely comforting knowing that my misery was not imagined and that I was not rolling around in agony due to sheer imagination and just being pathetically girly and wimpy about it all.
Mother made it over to help with the rest of the day while I stayed in bed. Due to the fact it was almost impossible to walk I had to stay in bed....which I am just not such a pro at doing. But because I could not walk it didn't give me many options. By the end of the day I was surprisingly miserable. I think I may want a day in bed and I dream of a day in bed until I actually have to do it. Hugely pregnant I quickly learned that no movement severely inhibits digestion and heartburn is capable of hitting levels I have never known with lack of movement. My back hurt along with every other body part that could hurt due to being completely sedentary, lack of movement and just lazy. I think it's a hobby I foresee never taking up in my lifetime.
I managed to stay in bed until 10:00 this morning while Evye made oatmeal for everyone, Grayson did all outside chores and Aubrey dressed everyone. But after 10:00 it was over. With the aid of Tylenol I limped around and put needed sheets back on beds, supervised everybody to make sure everything got done and made dinner for the masses.
And let it be known that I never in my life realized just how much my feet get stepped on in the course of a day until now. By the time dinner rolled around that one toe had been completely smashed no less than 284 times since 10 this morning. I am quite certain that yesterday's efforts performed by loving husband were all for naught and as of today it has been completely obliterated. I haven't looked at it yet because I am quite sure it is completely flat at this point....if it's still even attached. Amputation is not really a far removed thought and might actually give better results than what I achieved today....if it is still hanging on. And given the pain factor I am quite sure it is still attached.
In all honesty...it does feel a little better. The more I'm up on it the worse it hurts so I'm thinking after a good night's sleep...only interrupted by 140 trips to the bathroom.....it will feel much better...especially since it will have gone 8 entire hours without being stepped on.
And just so you know...it feels entirely, pitifully, amazingly, ridiculously, absurdly stupid to be rolling around in your closet floor, moaning and groaning, massively pregnant while holding your toe....the toe that you can barely reach and certainly cannot see.
You can't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. It looks like a fat little pig with a little tiny pink head. Not that I think feet are just a lovely part of the body anyway...but this really emphasizes just how unsexy feet really are....especially when you've got an oversized, discolored one in the mix.
And some random summer day pics
....or a pool full of kids.
2 comments:
I dislocated my ankle once. I passed out when they went to set it. Of coarse, I had to go to the hospital for that, it broke in 3 places when it popped out. You think you shouldn't see a toe at that angle, try your whole foot!!! I now have 9 screws and a 3 inch metal plate holding the whole thing together.
Ow ow ow! I hope the kids continue to be helpful so you can stay off your feet as much as possible. And, I can imagine someone calling 911 for that - incredible pain, and you can't drive yourself. People have called 911 for much, much less. Of course, it doesn't make much sense when you're worried about what to do with your kids while you're gone. I hope it continues to heal and feel better!
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