Who knew....

that no matter how many times a 4 year old flushes the toilet a golf ball will not go down nor will the poop that's in there with it....but little army men will.

that it is possible to eat oatmeal 5 nights out of 7 and still have children cheer when you say it's for dinner again...at least the 5 and under crowd.

that you can cry for no apparent reason and appear to be a hormonally imbalanced being when your husband has been gone for 72 hours and still has 24 left to go.

that you can really actually run over rude people's feet with your cart in Wal Mart if you are mad enough...and then make it appear an accident as you smile graciously and state that you thought the cart would clear them.

that it is possible to feel as sexy as you ever have in your entire life and then plummet to the depths of unsexiness within a 2 hr period when your 7 year old comes in to discuss the varicose veins you might have going...

"Mom, you sure have a lot of bumps on your legs (as she lovingly runs her hand over the "bumps"). And they're really ugly but that's ok cause God put them there, so they're really not ugly even though they kinda are. And your legs sure are big. But that's ok too cause God just made them that way and I still love you a lot. I just hope mine don't ever look like that." Thank you, sweet daughter. What a lovely job we've done of teaching you social etiquette.

that it is possible to outgrow all of your normal maternity clothes at 26 weeks pregnant with twins.

that you can stay excessively hot even with the thermostat set on 65. And your husband will be inwardly thrilled all while complaining about and fearing the electric bill to come.

that 1 lone cat can reproduce into 19 cats within an 18 month period of time.

that you can have a 12 year old shooting a pellet gun, 6 other kids running around with buckets and cans, a 21 month old squealing and clapping, and a mom armed with a broom and still not catch a mouse running freely in the house.

that you can scare your kids into staying in bed by telling them the mouse is hungry and will bite their toes off if their feet hit the floor again....and they will believe every word of it. But in all actuality, the mouse could live off the crumbs on the floor for no less than 12 months and if it happens to cross the kitchen floor in the right spot the floor itself may act as a sticky trap gluing it to the spot for an easy catch in the morning.....saving us the expense of a mouse trap. And no...the mouse has not stuck to the floor yet...but one can only hope.

that you CAN go to sleep despite the knowledge a mouse is on the loose and may be under your bed....but you dream about it.

that once you have fleas it takes an act of God to get rid of them.

it is perfectly acceptable to cry and be overwhelmed by fleas...only if you are pregnant.

that you can get hot and remain hot for the next 20 weeks of your life without ever cooling off.

that it is both acceptable and perfectly reasonable to duct tape your baby's diaper onto her cause you're so fed up with changing peed on crib sheets no less than twice a day and sometimes 3 times a day.

that you can take a shower and actually forget to wash off....who does that????



I'm sure I'll think of more but, for now, that sums up the last few days of our life.